I haven't been as diligent about taking photos regularly ... I guess because I'm losing so much more slowly now and it's really hard for me to see any difference. That said, I posted my photos for March. In these photos I'm down to 148, from 264. I wear a size 6 pants/jean, sometimes an 8, down from a 22/24. I wear a size medium top most of the time, but sometimes still a large, down from a 3X/24W.  I wear a size 36C bra, down from a 44 nearly B ... how did that happen?! and size 6 panties. down from a tight 10. In my shoes I'm down to a size 8.5 in my shoes from a 9.5W. My ring size has gone from a size 10 to a 6-3/4.

It hasn't been a year yet and the changes are staggering. What's more surprising to me is that they continue.

Beyond the obvious visual changes, I am no longer diabetic, my blood pressure is in the low normal range, my heart rate is normal, I have more endurance than I've had in decades, I have plenty of energy ... if the depression monster stays away. Physically, I feel better than I have in decades.

The down side for me is the excess skin, but hopefully time will heal ... not just having the skin tighten up some, which I hope it does, but my perspective on it ... I hope that gets better with time too. I don't want to seem ungrateful or to undervalue the huge impact that losing all of this weight has had on my health, but I have to admit that the extra skin bothers me. As I've said before, I wouldn't want to go back to where I was, I guess I'm just sad that I did that to myself and that the extra skin is the result. I do try to focus on the good things ... my health and generally improved appearance ... and the fact the my husband told me I was a 'hot mama' this morning and he gets to see what no one else does ;-). Thank goodness for a a great husband!

I haven't been getting on the scale constantly anymore. I do a couple of times a week. This week I took my mother to the Dr and got on their scale in the afternoon, fully clothed and weighed 150. This morning I decided to check a la natural ... if you know what I mean? :-) and it said 148. I got off, got back on and it still said 148 ... finally, I tried a third time and it still said 148! I don't even remember how old I was the last time that I weighed 140 anything. I know that my 'ideal' weight according to my Dr is 137 ... still don't know if I'll ever see that. I had talked with my PCP and we had decided that 145 would be a good goal weight, but honestly I wasn't sure that would happen either. Now ... I'm thinking maybe it will.

I was thinking about having some new photos done, but maybe I should wait ... then, maybe not. The photos that are my avatar and profile are at about 160.

BTW ... My size 6 Lee Jeans fit beautifully and my size 8's are just a little big now. Who would have ever thought I'd be this small ... not me!

I know that we all have body image issues, even those who have never had a weight issue. I know that I am probably as self critical now, if not more than I was before. I don't know if it's because when I look at myself now, I see the scars of my obesity instead of the obesity itself or what. I know that I'm more comfortable with my clothed self than I am with my unclothed self. I find that in some ways I want to 'cover up' or hide my arms, legs, tummy and tush more now than I did before. Maybe it's because they are obviously scarred. I'm not sure. I know that others tell me I look great, but often I find myself focusing on the negative. Just yesterday someone said how terrific I looked and that wasn't I lucky not to have all of those excess skin issues. When I took off my jacket, she said "OH!" I almost feel like I'm masquerading as a normal sized person.

I also think that in some part, I keep thinking that I'll wake up and be fat again.

I'm hoping with time that I will be more gentle and accepting of myself. I've decided that when I start to have negative thoughts about my arms, legs ... that I'll make myself look at 3 postives about how I look and try to add some about how I feel. Maybe that will help.