I am so ready to have this surgery.  I went with my family and some friends to a local theme park this weekend.  I love roller coasters: the bigger, the faster, the scarier, the better.  I got on a ride.  I couldn't get the seat belt to close.  Two teen-age boys struggled with it and couldn't get it to budge.  I was just too big.  I couldn't ride....the walk of shame.  My daughter asked if I decided the ride was too scary...Sure.  The grown-ups knew the problem.  Total humiliation complete.  I've tried so many drastic things to lose weight.  I joined the army to serve my country...uhh not really.  They have mandatory weight maintenance programs.  It worked for about 8 years.  I would gain too much weight, then be put in the "fat boy" program and worked out until I dropped.  I would lose the required weight and taken out of the program.  My weight would begin creeping back up, and the cycle continued.  When I was in high school I got injections, of what I'm not sure.  I did lose weight, along with a racing heart and faintness.  I've done ephedrine loaded pills, cabbage soup, Jenny Craig, Healthy Inspirations, Weight Watchers, and many other not so healthy things.  Now my knees hurt.  I'm lazy.  I am always tired.  I am a poor role model for my children.  It is just not fair to my family.  They deserve more.  I want more.  I need a permanent solution.  I can not remember a time in my life that I maintained my weight 6 months, heck, 3 months.  I've always been on my way up or down the scale.  I feel so optomistic to see the veteran DS'ers maintaining their loss and still having a relatively normal family/social life.  I want that.