I'm still losing at a consistant pace, about 1 pound a day (some days less).  I'm happy that I'm beginning to feel like there might be hope -- but, I'm tired of the left side pain and the constant gas pains and I'm tired of looking like "a hot mess" in my now "baggy ass clothes"!
I know this is all temporary (saggy skin, baggy clothes, and mild depression), but I'm so eager to get the old me back -- it's hard not to be impatient...:)

I'm stuck at walking 2 miles in 34 mins -- can't seem to speed up the pace without left side pain returning (painful body core).
I was able to increase on the stationary bike 10 miles on level 8  -- buring 750 cal within 1 hour 2 mins. 

My weight loss is now 44 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. 

3 weeks post op --I weighed in at 261 this morning (thought I was stuck at 265 for ever) but I was really happen to see that number change today.

2nd week back at the gym and biked 8 miles in 45 mins (not my best time) but I have another goal to work on now.
walked 2 miles in 36 minutes (again not my best time).  But I'm happy just to be able to be healthy enough to walk that far (for now).  I have big goals for the future  (marathons, bike races....etc.)  ha!

My clothes are beginning to really bag out, especially in the buttox :)....  I don't mind so much -- but I feel that soon I'll have to purchase a belt.  I refuse to purchase any clothes until I'm near my goal (I don't care how I look until then)...then when I get close to my goal weight I might purchase some jeans.

I'm beginning another semester in college-- I have 9 classes to go ...can not wait until it's over.

Not much to report...I'm having a hard time finding time to eat meals when I'm concentrating on driking enough water and getting in all my proteins.  the 30/30 rule sucks and it gets in my way...but it's the rules :).  I'm still taking all my meds and vitamins "every day".  Like I said, meal time is a hassle and so I'm not eating enough --but then I'm not really hungry any more.  Just really busy "sipping and sipping more"...

day 6 ran out of pain killers and didn't want to contend with crushed tylenol so I wrapped my midsection with a towel and tape to create pressure for my abs.  I find that I can function and walk farther than with out it, it also easier to sleep now.  I think most of my pain is due to the hernia operation and not so much the rny. 

today I'm walking two miles -- I was able to walk that far pre-op but the farthest I've walked so far after the surgery is 1.4 miles. 
I'm sure my body will tell me when it's had enough :).

Today I was switched from the all "clear liquid diet and protein shakes" to the "full liquid diet and protein shakes".  My first "meal" after my protein shake was two ounces of cream of wheat.  I tolerated it fairly well with no dumping and I feel tons better ::: more energy.  

Well...thats it for now...I'm down to 269 this morning.  

Arrgh...."Did anyone get the license number of the truck that hit me?"  .....Shit, that hurt!  LOL  

I'm 6 days post op and still in a bit of pain.  I think the most pain I ever experienced through this whole process is the gas rollin around in my belly and when someone makes me laugh. 

I am still a bit weak but I walk around quit a bit.  I wake up each morning feeling better than I did the day before, but by 2:00pm I'm in pain and weak again and in need of a nap.  

Day 6 and I'm finally able to bend over -- I haven't been able to bend, my diaphram is so sore.  The doctors ended up reparing a hernia while doing the gastric bypass (I guess that was a 'bonus'). 

I know that I'm not supposed to be hungry yet (but I am)....I guess it's mental hunger-- needless to say it's been a battle.  I'm still on liquid diet with protein, won't be able to graduate to mushies untill sometime after the 14th. 

I'm out of pain medication, so I think today I'll just take tylenol extra strength.  Hopefully that will take the edge off the gas pain..

I'm not as scared as this smiliey portrays --but, pretty close to saying that I have cold feet. Ha!
I've lost more weight since the last time I bloged.  I now weight 273 -- two more pounds and I've met my doctors pre-op goals .  I think the "clear liquid diet" is pretty horrible -- but not as bad as having to suffer through optifast for 3 weeks.  Eesh that stuff was gross -- I'm glad I'm over it.  

I've cleaned the entire house, shampooed every rug , dusted every thing, did all the laundry, and even cleaned the back yard -- I've actually run out of things to clean and to organize and I still have the need to clean...lol "nesting" is a very wierd behavior...lol

I think the worse part of all the dieting and fasting is the headaches and the lack of energy.  I've been pushing through that lack of energy by taking short breaks.  I tossed and turned last night--had to pee like a million times throughout the night. 

I just think I'm really nervous about tomorrow.  I know the operation will be successful --without any complications.  I'm just not thrilled to be put under.   I don't like the experience of losing time and waking up out of it has always been very nausiating for me.  

Anyway...wish me luck.

  Hi!  I have survived 21 days of complete missery on this "optifast" diet.  I have only 1 day left on this diet -- then I switch to a clear liquid diet.  I don't mind -- it's only two days and I don't have to drink liquid meals. Yes, I would rather drink sodium free broth and tea and water for 48 hours.  I have managed to lose 20 pounds, however, I think I lost more in inches than in weight.  None of my pants fit me properly -- which is okay (as long as I have a belt to hold up my pants and a long tunic to hide my baggy butt...

I'm still really tired, and I still have no energy, but the headaches are completely gone--

  I can't take it.... I hate this liquid diet!  I have no energy, I'm too tired to care about anything! 
All I can say is that ::: "I can't wait for this part of the mess is over!" 

I'm off to take a nap for the next 6 days....

The urinary test revealed blood in my urine, however, it didn't seem to worry the surgeon -- so the operation is still scheduled for Oct 3rd.  Now, we just have to figure out why there's blood in the urine.  Followup test revealed that I don't have an infection. 

It's all good.  Just waiting to make apointment for cat scan on kidneys to find out what might be going on....

Day 12 on optifast diet  :::::     this diet sucks
Lost close to 20 pounds

Okay, so I was so pysched this week because my opertation date is soon approaching and it seems like smooth sailing...unil ..The last urin test.  The first urin test came back possitive for monocysts and a small amount of blood.  This last urin test revealed large amounts of blood and no monocysts.  So, now I have to go get a cat scan to find out if I have kidney stones.  I'm hoping that this won't interfere with the scheduled operation date.  But if it does-- I'll have to be patient.  Gotta deal with this first I suppose..."long face"...

I'm in day 8 of the optifast diet -- (clinically proven to help you lose weight).  Yeah...it works -- through STARVATION!
I think my husband is tired of me asking if he is hungry.   "Uhm...."are you hungry?....I'm hungry!  Are you sure you aren't hungry?"  I have a feeling that I'm enjoying food through my dogs too!  I've been over feeding everyone in the house!  I'm certain the dogs don't mind -- but I better stop, cause Augie is looking kinda round now....Ha!
Today all the banana's that I would have eatten this week began to turn brown and so instead of tossing them in the compost bin, I decided to make Vince banana bread.  I had everything under control...that is until I discovered that my oven is not working!  Why is my oven not working?  I haven't a clue...perhaps the universe is saving Vince from future obesity...
So, now I have to either find a way to bake this bread or toss it....it seems a shame to toss it'    Whatever...

I really am hungry....I really "hate" this diet...even the dogs don't beg for a taste of this stuff.  

13 days to go

I'm ready!  I'm psyched!  Yet--I'm living this “last day” before the diet with apprehension.   I’m not sure that this is normal…

I understand the all the procedures of pre-op preparedness, the proceedings of the operation and post –op dietary rules.  I have attended all the diet classes, post op hospital courses, support groups and have taken notes, and studied.  I can describe the anatomy and physiology of the digestive system (including accessory organs).  Yet, I still feel “unprepared”—like I’m missing something, “but what is it that I’m missing?”

This has to be normal; I’ve read it time and time again in other peoples blogs, why am I feeling like a nut?  I’m cleaning my house like crazy, organizing things that have nothing to do with the surgery or my body or even my health for that matter.  It’s like I’m “nesting!”    I’m not expecting a new born baby into my home….am I?  Maybe I am, maybe it’s me that’s being “reborn” into a new life style.  Ewww…. corny!

Sure I’ve had 2 years to mentally prepare for this event and I’ve been actively preparing for the last 6 months, but now it’s time – and I’m freaking out in my head! I’m throwing fits inside my noggin, but no one knows that I just want to run away, as far and as fast as I can.   It’s like having cold feet before a wedding.  I do want the surgery, I do …I do!  But, I’m scared—“of what?”

Although I’ve gone to the psychologist to get a psychological clearance for this operation, I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for the “new me”.  How does one prepare for this event?  This is life changing! – I should be happy—“I should be wearing a smile on my face – I’m not.    

I think if this “anxiety” becomes an issue, I might have to pay a visit with my psychologist ---maybe it’s normal 

After all that dieting and working out at the gym for the past 6ths months (only to weigh in at a heaveir weight-- than I began with), I find myself more determined to lose it all.  I was really hoping that I would lose enough weight in order to avoid the pre-op diet "optifast".  Liquid diets are not my favorite, no matter how good anything might taste.  I hate the head aches, the crankiness, and the hunger they trigger.  So okay, I'm done bitchin'  I weighed in at 304 and I need to get down to 271 pounds before the surgery date.  So instead of playing around with this I just decided to buy 3weeks of optifast and get it off.  However, I still think that 33 pounds is a lot to lose in 21 days. 

So far, every things from the beginning of this experience until present as gone pretty smoothly (with the execption of having to give up the coffee)  < That was so hard to give up!  For the first week I felt like I wanted to clawl out of my skin!  But, I'm almost back to "normal" -- not wanting to sleep all day, the head aches are subsiding and my muscle pain is beginning to get a bit better (the doctors placed me back no NSAIDS) with the instructions that I stop them 1 week out from the surgerical date.    

I have two cupboards in my kitchen dedicated to the different diet phases that are approaching.  I have a cupboard dedicated to pre-op diet "optifast".  I have a cupboard dedicated to the "second phase" (1-2 post op) liquid diet.  And another cupboard for the "mushy diet" or Phase three diet (2-8 weeks).  

Our dietician announced that because of some complications experienced by a few other prior patients that we are only allowed "clear liquids" and protein shakes, ice pops/sugar free/fat free and sugar free Jell-0 for the first two weeks. 

I don't mind this restriction -- it's only for 14 days.

I  figured that because this past friday was the last day I would ever have anything "bad" for me "higher sugar, high fats" I would say good bye to those food items that were a problem in my past.  I binged!  I haven't had these types of foods for the past 6 months.  So needless to say, soon after I ate tons of pepperoni sticks, beef jerky, soda pop...I got sick as a dog and ended up spending much of the night in pain.    Never again...."really, never again....."

I have 3 more appointments with bluepoint group this month and a couple of stops at the lab before I see the surgeon on the 22nd of Sept. 

I've been taken off of all my pain medications, antidepressants and now I have to give up my coffee.   I'm so bumbed about having to give up coffee.  I really enjoy that first cup in the morning.  I had my first cut of decaf today ::::  :)  not so good, but better than having nothing.  :)

Outside of being in a constant state of pain.  I'm doing alright. 

OMG!  I'm in SO much PAIN! 

My doctors want me off of cymbalta and Meloxican (Mobic for chronic pain).  I guess it will cause ulcerations in my new tummy.  So, they took me off these medications 4 days ago.  They switched the cymbalta with a medication called citalopram for depression and muscle pain.  Its okay, the transition is a little rough, but it's okay.  However, not taking my melaxocan is like "hell!”.  Every muscle and joint is killing me now....even my hair hurts!

The pharmacists said it might take up to a week before the transition period is over.  This is gonna be a long three days….”but, I’ll do anything to keep from messing up my new” tummy”

I've been doing more homework on Vitamins and Minerals and have decided that Vitamins (gummies) are not wise for me to purchase, that instead I'll have to either crush the multivitamins and drink them with water or purchase chewables without sugar added.  Why would my dietician say that gummies are okay?  I don't think it's wise....

I've been doing my homework and I'm growing more anxiouos about post op. hair loss -- has anyone experienced this and did it grow back ?...."Bald" is not a good look for me!  Please tell me that it's a temporary symptom 

LOL::: I know the title is kinda funny huh :::: 

We had an 5.8 earthquake yesterday --- and as everything was swaying and shaking I was trying desperately to get my fat butt out of my office chair.  Little luck there!  I thought omg, I'm gonna die because I can't run out of the house fast enough!  So I've decided to add "Earthquakes and zombie wars" to the list of reasons I should lose weight!  

Today I was looking in the mirror at my various tattoos and now I'm a bit concerned about how this drastic weight loss will affect them.  I plan on getting plastic surgery once I get close to my ideal wieght.  Just something I was thinking about -- Does anyone out there have tattoos and how did your wieght loss surgery affect them ?  Let me know

Busy as ever!  Price shoping for those items listed:  Small bowls, small plates, baby spoons, small forks, protein shaker cups, and sport bottles (without straw) and small storage containers.  I didn't want to spend a whole lof the money on the dishes I would be using so I hit every thrift store withing the southenr DC metro area and I was able to purchase everything under $20.00.  My biggest expense is the protein powder and protein drinks ( I didn't realize that protein suppliments were so expensive)  The only other items that I need to purchase are vitamins.  I found that most of the vitamins I need can be purchased really cheap at Wal-mart and the Vitamin Shoppe in Laplatta.  The guys at the vitamin shoppe have been really helpful--they tell when to purchase things on sale and what NOT to buy. 

I have an appointment with my primary care giver this Monday (more tests!).  I thought that once I was approved through my insurance --I would have no more tests to go through, boy was I wrong!  But these are just a few x-rays and blood tests needed for the surgery. 

Todays my daughters birthday (Jocelynn is 22 years old today)..  She's such a sweet heart -- she decided that she wasn't going to celebrate her birthday with cake and icecream this year in order to be supportive of my efforts to lose wieght.  That's so awesome!  I also know that her friends are going to make her a cake this wednesday so that she can still enjoy her birthday, without forcing me to make one (not ready to do that yet--I still have sweet cravings).  I'm just so happy that I have her and my husband for support--they are so good to me.

I took my finals in biology and trigonometry yesterday -- I know I did pretty well on the biology exam, but I'm not so certain that I passed the trigonometry exam.  I'm not too worried over it -- "you do your best and keep moving forward".

Well, that's all I have for today -- Until the next time ::: 

so excited I can't sleep


http://youtu.be/Bwy1x0-cZaI

Now I'm excited!!!  I met with the surgeons assistant, "Tiffany" and she showed me the paper work for Tri care Insurance approving surgery....

So, now I have even MORE tests to complete  :::: blood tests::: and what nots.  Very very happy  

My finals are November 20 in Trigonometry and Biology (environmental management)..wish me luck

** hugs*** till the next time

Tomorrow I get to meet "Tiffany" the physicians Assistant.  I'm quite excited as time seems to be flying by!   I have no clue why I need to meet the physicians assistant.   I'm not even sure what a physician assistant does... I just know that I'm not missing any meeting for any reason.  I've not mis-steped since this journey began, it's too close to the beginning to mis-step now.    If I could lend some good advice:::: Don't miss your appointments or your weigh ins if you have Tri-Care prime for insurance.

I've been way too busy to think about my weight or the surgery.  Finals for math and biology are this coming Satruday.  so glad this session is almost over!  Never, ever take a math class with a human biology and disease class   Very bad idea...there were nights where I didn't have time to sleep and days when all I do was sleep.  Horrible experience! 

So okay:::  Nothing new to share this week with regards to my weight or my surgery.  I still haven't lost a pound dispite my lack of eating and exercise.  I'm sure that being dehydrated has something to do with the weight retention.  I'm trying to be responsible for my liquid intake, but like I said..I've been BUSY!

I hope that after this review week, I'll have more time to think about myself :)

till next time 

Waiting for the surgicial team (bluepoint) to call me and let me know that my insurance has approved my surgery was like waiting for a tea kettle to boil. 

 But, this morning the phone rang and it was "Pam, from bluepoint surgical team" in Virginia.     "Brenda, I have submitted your paperwork to Tri-Care Prime and I see nothing that can cause this request to be denied, so I'm actually calling to ask you if you are ready to set a surgical date?"  Wow....really?!

  I couldn't get too overly enthusiastic because she didn't say that the insurance had approved the request.  I'm optimistic "ready for the best news" and preparing mentally for the boot to drop.  So,  the surgical date is set for October 3, 2011....

Pray the insurance does approve.

  So excited now!

My last posting was pretty bleak...began to lose a little hope.  But, yesterday was my last diet class (required for me to attend by my insurance company).  My papers are in order and now waiting for approval for surgery.  I'm hoping the surgery will take place this September, before my new courses for fall begin. :)  It will give me plenty of time to recover from the procedure. The only hurdle I can think of now is the approval ...oh, and the two weeks preop "liquid" diet.  Good grief!

I'll let you guys know what happens

I haven't blogged since may..."another goal that I can not complete" ...sighs

I haven't been able to lose any wieght since May and actually, I think I've gained more wieght since I last blogged.  What happen to my original zeal?  I don't really know...  I just feel completely uninspired and a little hopeless.  I have my last meeting with my dietician on the 2nd of Aug and after the meeting I think we actually send my medical package into the insurrance company for review and wait for the approval.    The last testing I had to go through was horrible.  "Endoscopy"...the doctor did not place me under, so the entire proceedure was a nightmare.  I couldn't even breath for a moment...dry heaves the entire proceedure.  Then the doctor accidently tore my throat up a little. Never again..
So all the tests, blood work...poking and prodding are over--I'm grateful for that, but I can not seem to get motivated about anything lately.  Oh well...lest see what the future holds 

After my encounter with the psycho-thearpist, I began to ask some tough questions about my current sitiuation with my weight. 
How did I get this big?  How did I get here?  I don't remember at what time in my past did I say "I'll just purchase a larger size pair of pants or shirt" and I certainly don't remember ever choosing to be this large.  Funny, I can remember the first time someone called me overweight and that was over 12 years and over 100 pounds ago.  What happened?  So, I've decided that maybe before I get the surgery, it may not be a bad idea to keep searching for the answer.  
I was really angry at the psycho-thearpist for suggesting that my wieght might be the result of past sexual abuse.  I felt that by her making this statement "she was victimizing me all over again".  But, after really thinking about it, she might be correct.  I am uncomfortable with the idea that if I lose weight, men might find me sexually attractive -- but on the flip side, that's exactly what I do want, " I want to be sexually attractive to my husband."  In the back of my mind I feel safe "hidden" under this weight, but at the same time "I'm sufficating in fat!"  I've decided to purchase some workbooks and reading material to help guide me through this issue.  I don't want to see my psycho-thearpist, I'm not really fond of her.  However, I do think I need some help.  I know that if I get this surgery, and at the same time, not deal with "how I got here" in the first place....I might find that I won't be happy thin, and I might gain all this wieght back.  I've lost this weight before, through other diets that I couldn't sustain..."atkins" etc.  But, I've always managed to gain it back, plus more.  Maybe I can work through some of my past issues or atleast render the past powerless over me.  I don't know:::: I just know that when I look into the mirror, I'm always "shocked" by the face looking back at me -- it's not me, ..."me" is somewhere inside, "trapped!"  
Here's a list of books I purchased from amazon.com if you guys are interested:

Living a Lighter Lifestyle: A Guide to Successful Weight Loss and Maintenance Following Weight Loss Surgery

Gaye Andrews

 

The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

Judith S. Beck

The Success Habits of Weight-Loss Surgery Patients

Colleen M. Cook

 

 

Beck Diet Solution Weight Loss Workbook: The 6-week Plan to Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

Judith S. Beck

 

 

The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person (CD)

Dr. Judith S. Beck Ph.D.

 

Weight Loss Surgery For Dummies

Marina S. Kurian, et al

 

This is NOT Brain Surgery...But There IS a Magic Pill! [Paperback]

Teri Kai Holtzclaw (Author)

 

I picked up my CPAP machine on monday.  So far I haven't been too successful in keeping the mask on my face at night.  I keep waking up with the entire mask off my face-I must be ripping it off my head at night.  I'm thinking it's because I have to use the bathroom at night (can't really remember) or perhaps it just begins to bother me ??  I don't know.  I'm still waking up tired, but not as bad as usual.  I already feel a difference in my emotional life, I'm not as irritated and short with people, and I seem to be able to concentrate better.  I can't wait to see what type of results I'll experience once I can sleep the night through while wearing the mask.  I love the machine...it's small, quite, and it has a "ramp" feature to alllow me to adjust the air incriments every 5 mins to optimal levels to treat my apnea.  
I've met some wonderful people this week at the sleep clinic, all of them were really helpful and pleasant.
I was able to finish all my work in both environmental courses, with one week to spare in order to study for finals on May 7th.  I'm eager to get these course over with and begin the new courses for the summer.  
I planted all my garden vegtables last week, and my husabnd and I were able to plant grass in the back yard this year.  
Outside of the stress's  of college, my personal goals for my weight loss, my gardenting, my dogs, my husband, and the house...everthing  seems to be running smoothly. 
Oh speaking of "smooth"
I've been taking acidophilus plus and Pipya enzymes pluse chewable tabets and some green gel cap filled with "chlorophil"...:::: shrugging shoulders::::I'm not sure what it is..but anyway, all stomach issues are resolved, no more heart burn!

Okay, so I've been diagnosed with a mild case of obstructive apnea when I sleep, so now the doctors want to do some kind of CPAP treatment. So, it's back to the sleep lab in Laplata for me tonight-- I'm certain this will suck like last time and I won't get any sleep, but this is the hoops they want me to jump -- I'll jump!

My heart is in good shape despite the murmur and the extra beat -- stress test yesterday went well and results were positive.  I'm happy -- 

My body isn't responding to the diet and exercising like I would like it to respond.  Instead of losing 2 pounds a week, I'm losing 3 pounds a month.  I'm not sure I want to take 2 years to lose 36 pounds and not be sure it will stay off...I really hope I get approved for surgery--I feel it may be my only option to lose 148 pounds within 2 years. 

Anyway, the only test appointment I'm waiting for now is the test “an upper GI endoscope and h. pylori test”.  My pcp has placed an order for referral twice through champus "tri-care prime" with no reply, it's been 2 months!

LOL:  According to the  Polysomnographers at the sleep center in Laplatta, MD.  I snore "loudly!"
I've been diagnosed with moderate obstructive sleep apnea syndrome, with moderate oxygen desaturateions, worst while in REM.

This means I have to go back to the sleep lab for "CPAP or BiPAP treatment"  >> not really sure what all that means, but that happens on  April 1st, 11. 

I asked my husband if I snore loud, but he says that he's too busy snoring himself to actually hear me  
Maybe after the next sleep study, they'll fix me up with some O2 -- then, I might actually get some real rest

     I hate it when I go to a grocery store to shop and everyone I pass feels the need to inspect my shopping cart.  I don't buy chips, cookies, candy or any of the things traditionally associated with "fat people", hell, I don't even drink soda!  My shopping cart is full of fresh vegitables, fruits, grains, chicken and fish...yet, here I am still "FAT"!
     I decided to turn the tables and began to inspect others shopping carts, those carts pushed by thin and "healthy" people.  OMG!  They eat worse than me and most of the "FAT" people that I know.   Why aren't they HUGE!!!??? 

     I was walking my dogs in my neighborhood as the garbage truck passed me by and stopped just ahead of me -- I eventually caught up to the truck and as the garbage men where walking back to hitch on the back of the truck, one of them said, "She's pretty but too f*cking Fat!"  Needless to say, that took the wind out of my sails  "sad face".  But then I just kept walking and thinking about what they said and it occured to me that I'm married to a wonderful man, who loves me and tells me he loves me every day -- Why should I give a sh*t about what two garbage men think about me?  Besides, I just not pretty, I'm smart, creative, loving, and adventurous, I'm more than my looks.  

I got my sleep study done, my pulmonary test done, and next week I get my cardio tests completed.  Very eager just to get all the tests over.

I have midterms in environmental health and toxicology next week and the first week of April (anxious about these)... 

  Yep, I'm juggling life right now!  LOL

I have tons of papers due for college courses in Toxicology and Environmental Health.  I'm doing okay in research for both, but still have not been inspired to sit down and write.  It seems like I've been at this "process" (the 6th month--health requirements) for insurance, "FOREVER!"  But, I've only been at it since Feb 7th, and I have a long, long road ahead of me.  

I saw my psychotherapist on Monday the 7th.  What a joke!  I am telling her "I eat because I'm hungry and I'm hungry all the time!"  And she hears, "I eat because I was unloved and unprotected as a child"....WHATEVER

I really do over-eat because I AM HUNGRY!!!!  
I wanted to grab her by hear face and shake the crap out of her...but I didn't...I just sat there like an ass and let her feel superior.  GAG

For those of you who do eat for emotional satisfaction, I do understand the reason you do this...BUT, I'm not doing this!  I really really am HUNGRY ALL the TIME!  LOL

Well, I found out the day that Dr. Nag took off the heart monitor that my insurance did not approve the visit to his office.  So, now I have to pay out of pocket, the echo-cardiogram (which shows the murmer, (leaking valves), and the 24 heart monitor.  The billing agency was really kind to me and said that I could pay on a payment schedule once I get the actual bill in the mail, $717.00) < Looks like I won't be bothering my husband for money this month...LOL

My primary doctor corrected my stats chart and noted that I'm no longer 5'10.5" tall, that in fact, I'm only 5',9" tall.  He also had Betsy refer me to another doctor to get "endoscopy" done on the upper G.I.  and she sent a referal out for pulmonary tests.

I have been approved for a sleep study, but have not arranged an appointment with lab, because of scheduling issues that they are having this month.

Outside of being completely swamped with referrals and appointments and homework for my college courses, I'll be okay.

Today I turned in a 6 page essay for toxicology "The dose makes the poison" -- hoping I earn a high mark.
and I turned in my paper for environmental epidemiology -- I'm not sure I even care about my environmental health course, because it's dull, dull, dull. 
More tomorrow or "when-ever"

I don't know where my mind is today.  I just don't want to sit down and do my work for my college courses.  My mind is more focused on my latest health issues.  Today the cardiologist (Dr. Nag) fitted me with a heart monitor--I forgot to tell him that I'm allergic to tape (the pickups are reinforced with tape), and now I itch every where!  I also had the (required) echo-cardiogram done, they found that my "valves are leaky" and I have a "murmmer".  I have no clue what that means -- all I know is that I've been suffering from more frequent and stronger PVCs.  I thought I was having a mild heart attack last week and ended up in the hospital for two days.  The endocrinologist cant seem to stablize my thyroid, so I think the synthroid might be causing the PVCs to be more frequent.  Oh...who knows...

I haven't had much luck finding online buddies that are interested in a friendship online -- am beginning to think that it's because I may not have a lot ot offer another person -- or that I'm just too needy for friendship.  But, it's cool, despite the lack of possitive encouragement from my family (mother, mother inlaw) and "real-time" friends -- I think I'll be okay.  I mean, yeah, I'm lonely but, I'll be okay

I have to warn any women out there that are forced to wear a heart monitor for testing,  "These things are unattractive!"  It makes me feel old and ugly.  Thank god, it's only one for 24 hours.

* I found another source of food that I'm cutting out of my diet "plain chicken wings"...apparently they are loaded with fat too.

More tomorrow :)

I've been keeping a food intake journal since Feb 7th, 2011 and making sure that I take advantage of the tools on "MyOh" page for taking calories and calorie expenditures.  While using the calorie and macro-nutrient pie chart I noticed that I may not eat a lot of food, but the foods I do eat are really high in fat.  I didn't know that black olives were so fattening!  Even though they are mostly unsaturated fat, it's still "fat".  I also have a serious habit of eating "cheddar cheese", at least 2 to 4 oz. a day.  Those are my biggest cravings, "Black olives and Cheddar cheese"....
So, I'm gonna see if I can cut back on them and eventually cut them out of my diet completely.  Because I love them so much, this is quite a challenge for me.

While using the tools for exercise, I've noticed that I work out everyday on cardio and fat burning but have not incorporated any weight lifting.  So, I'll have to see if I can work that into my weekly schedule next week (I would like to weight lift 3 out of the 6 days that I go to the gym).  I was told by someone recenlty that it's necessary to have at least 3 days a week in weight lifting in order to tone and tighten.  I'll have to do some research on that too.

Today, I'm gonna research ideas for my toxicology paper and then on my break I'm going to look up some websites for fitness wear for "plus sized women".    I just hope the clothes don't make my butt look big....LOL!

Today
*I found out today that I don't need a physiologist to sign my monthly exercise sheet.  I was having a hard time convincing the gym director to allow her certified trainers to sign my exercise sheet.  From what I understand, I only need my primary care provider to monitor my weight loss and nutrition as long as I attend a diet class for 6 months (attendance is 1x per month).   I’ve recently been assigned a dietician through the Blue point group.
*I have been working out 6 out of 7 days a week, but right now I'm only working on cardiovascular training ( 1 hour each day).  I hope to incorporate weight lifting once I can stabilize my heart rate in cardiovascular training.  I'm so out of shape and horribly over weight that I have had to keep my resistance level at the lowest setting on the elliptical and the stationary bike -- my heart rate is still too high.  I tried to work out for 7 days a week, but my knees began to hurt so bad, it became difficult for me to move around or get out of a chair  (squatting to sit on a toilet almost became unbearable!)  So, I slowed down to 6 days a week.  I'm hoping that by the time I see my doctor next month for my monthly nutritional and exercise consultation,   my blood pressure and heart weight will testify for me (that I have been working my "ass of" at the gym)...lol
*  I had my blood taken (lab test for my TSH levels).  I do suffer from Hashimotos disease  (hypothyroidism), but lately my TSH levels are out of whack "again".  The pcp has had to increase my prescription dose twice since last October.  He switched me from generic medication to Synthroid (he had to request the switch with my insurance company -- Tri-care prime).  

*I'm also calling around to find a psycho-therapist to have an evaluation.  This comes out of my pocket, because most of them, if not all of them do not accept Tri-care "prime", but some of them do accept  Tri-care "standard".  I'm hoping that I will be able to find a therapist soon (at least within 6 months)

That's it for today -- there's more tomorrow 

I wish this blog was about me losing weight (shrinking in inches 'around'), but no.  This blog is about me shrinking in height!  It's incredible, I'm only 45 years old and I've lost 1.5 inches of my height in the last 10 years! This is disconcerning, because now I'm in a whole new BMI bracket. 

I've actually went up 1 bmi percentage.  Now I sit  at a BMI level of 43 and my weight is 292 pounds.  The good news is, is that according to the scale at the gym, I've lost another pound this week.


But, now I have to call all my doctors (that didn't measure my height) and tell them that I've shrunk..