This is a recap of my year with Lap Band.  It will help those who are thinking of getting the band and for those who are newly banded.  

For more detailed descriptions on my journey you can check out my blog: Big Girl Slim at http://www.biggirlslim.blogspot.com


One Minute 
I could hear her voice calling to me to open my eyes.  It felt strange because I didn’t remember falling asleep.

 

“Christina..”  the voice said pulling me from the memories of my dream.  I open my eyes and I am in the recovery room of Overlook Hospital. 

 

I look around the brightly lit room. I am disorientated for a second because I don’t remember why I am at the hospital.  A few seconds later I remember- I had lap band surgery. 

 

I look down at my stomach and the realization sinks in- I did it. 

 

“Christina” the nurse’s voice cuts into my train of thought.  I turn to look at her and she too seems a little too bright.

 

She asks me questions and I answer them.  She fills out a clipboard and touches my arm and she is so warm.  I immediately think of my grandmother and smile at her.  She smiles back.

 

She tells me what happens next and asked me about my pain.  Pain?  What pain?  I think before I speak. 

 

That’s when it hit me, that I didn’t have much pain at all.  I still felt a bit loopy but I felt …deflated.  I felt lighter and less rigid.  I know in my mind this could be an illusion so I will wait until tommorow to see.  

One Hour

 

I am in a private room at overlook hospital with my husband.  His face is relieved and calm.  We talk and look at the panoramic view from my bedside.  The room is quiet except for the hum of my machines and our whisphers of conversation. 

 

Half way through the conversation the nausea mediction wears off.  Oh Oh.   I knew this was coming and boy did it come.

 

Since I had a lot of medicne still in my system I had a time frame to wait for my next dose.  So for the next 30-60 minutes I worked through the nausea.

 

Sitting up helped greatly.  For some reason I found my nausea funny so I kept making jokes.  It was the only thing that kept me focused.  I had the nurses laughing about how the throw up bins are always colored like puke.  Puke Pink, Bile Blue, Toliet Bowl White and “Going to throw up now” Green.    

 

My main concern with the surgery at the time was the cathetier.  I didn’t want want to save my life and was able to ask not to have one.  The only conditon was if I couldn’t go to the bathroom by myself I would have to get one.  Not a fun thought.  However two hours in I was able to go potty all by myself.  My mother would be proud.

One Day

 

I got the all clear to go home the next day.  My pain for day one was equal to doing a days worth of situps and crunches.  It was more movement pain than anything else.  Every one is different. 

 

Getting home took time but we made it in one piece. 

 

When we got home and settled in I realized something very important.  My legs, my back, my neck and my head didn’t hurt.  At all. 

 

This hit me like a ton of bricks.  I had no meds in me and the pains that greeted me morning and night were gone. 

 

One Month

 

A month later I am feeling no pain.  Things are going well and I am able to do things I haven’t been able to do in about ten years.  I am starting to get hungry quicker and I know that I will need to talk to my doctor about a fill.

 

Mentally I am happy and physically I can feel the difference my initial drop in weight made.  I am smiling more often and can look at myself in the mirror. 

One Fill

 

My first fill was a very awkward experience.  I didn’t really feel much differnce after the first fill.

 

Or the second..

 

Or the third..

 

My fourth fill worked like a charm. 

 

First Ten Pounds

 

Many people don’t apprieciate loosing 5-10 lbs.  I changed a lot for me those pounds.  Things like:

 

• Taking the stairs one flight as opposed to the elevator.
• Being able to breathe, talk and laugh when I walk.  
• Being able to bend over without getting light headed
• My skin being able to breathe.

 

The first pound is important to any weight loss patient.  It’s a start of change.  However pounds and scales aren’t always the most important indicator of success.  Non-scale victories are the events in your daily life that indicate things are progressing in a positive way.  You are losing or maintaining your weight. 

 

First support group meeting

 

My first support group meeting made me nervous.  I was very scared and felt kind of weird talking about my issues with food, the surgery and how I truly felt. 

 

My doctor had a great support team and they provide us with great ideas and tips to keep us motivated and deal with our common issues. 

 

We can also vent about things that are happening in our lives and share stories. 

 

I left my support group meeting feeling like I had people in my life that understood my journey.

 

First set backs

 

I haven’t grasped the entire lap band concept.  I still deal daily with my head hunger.  I also wasn’t prepared for the emotional withdrawl I would have not being able to eat to deal with my stress. 

 

This was one of the biggest obstacles I have had to face this year with my lap band.  The emotional and mental aspect of weight loss. 

 

I have lost, I have maintained and I have gained.  In total this year I have lost about 20-25 lbs.  I’m not the average loser on the Lap Band. 

 

One year anniversary

 

My surgery date was Janaury 4, 2006.  This entry will mark my one year anniversary. 

 

I am still the torrtiose.

 

I am still learning to deal with my issues.  I now have help.

 

I’ve been told maybe this surgery wasn’t a good idea. That maybe it was a mistake.

 

No it wasn’t a mistake.  

It's a new year for weight loss.

I am having another surgery for December 22, 2006.  I am going to have my nasal passages repaired and my tonsils removed.  

I haven't been feeling too hot the last few weeks.  My legs have been weak and my allergies are killing me.  

Other than that, things have been okay.  

I found out that I love mushrooms.  A lot !  They are so yummy.  I also found out that having two veggies with a protein can be good and healthy too.

This year has been up and down for me.  I have losed and gain weight since I had my sugery on January 4, 2006.    

As I sit back reading over my blog posts and thinking of all the people I have met, things I have done and steps I have taken I feel blessed.  I was asked recently by several people if I feel I did the right thing since I haven't lost the "ideal amount of weight".    In total I have lost 25-30 lbs.  This year I haven't been able to get stay below 280 lbs.

Some people have made me feel like it was a mistake to get this operation.  And in a low moment I almost agreed with them.

However, when the dust of negativity settled I realized I made the right decision.  I admit my slow weight loss is my fault.  I haven't wrapped my head around a lot of the concepts used to make the band successful.  I can do better.  

I know what I need to do but I have to get my mind back in the right place.   I can't change over a decade of bad habits after one surgery.  I have to change it day by day.  

I have lost 25lbs as of this post.  I know in my heart that more weight loss is to come.  I'm not in race.  I am not the ideal weight loss candidate.  I never live by a scale and I will not allow one to rule my success now.  

I am thankful this year for the things that I couldn't do a year ago.  Things like bend over and not getting dizzy, being able to sit in a chair slowly, being able to run and keep up with my baby sister, being able to walk and not think about pain with every step and most importantly I can breathe better.  

That's a hell of a lot of accomplishments in 25lbs of weight loss.  So I am the tortoise that is slow, but steady and will win the race. 

Having this surgery saved my life.  I pray every day that I can do better with the band than the last.  I pray for mental and emotion strength for those times when I am stressed and want to use food as a crutch.  I pray for the strength to get up in the morning to face a world who views me as different.  I also pray to never become the ideal because if I did, I wouldn't be me.