Well this morning I weighed myself, which is funny now. I used to weigh myself everyday, sometimes several times a day. I was obsessed. Since I hit 155, I haven't seemed to care anymore. I forget to weigh for sometimes days at a time. This morning the scale was down 2 pounds. I am not even sure when the lat time I weighed myself. I wonder if I should be starting to worry about maintenance. I still have chubby thighs, but all else is good. I am looking into plastics. Since tucking excess skin into your pants is not yet an Olympic event, I am gonna chop the stuff off. At 45 it is not as bad as I thought it would be, but not something I am showing off either. I am thinking of going to the Caribbean to get my work done. Sounds like a hell of a good plan to me lol. They also have some rocking prices.
 I eat without having to think about it much anymore. I still track my food, because if I don't I tend to not eat enough. I track to keep up my protein and calories now, instead of track to keep them under a certain point. I have been having trouble lately keeping up on my fluids. I have also found that when I do not have enough fluids, I get a hungry feeling. I am not hungry, I am thirsty, but I feel hungry. I now wonder if this is what some people are feeling when they say they feel hungry all the time after surgery? If I drink enough, I never get this feeling.
 I no longer have to take my acid meds daily. I only take it if I feel like I need it. Which is about once a week. I feel that tightness in my left shoulder and know I need to take it.
 I sometimes feel like my old self, the fat me, was not real. I look at pictures and think to myself, I never felt that fat. Funny how I look so much bigger to myself now when I look back.  I saw a picture of me with a group of friends a couple years ago from behind. We were all wearing leathers and I was wondering who that big chick was. I did not remember anyone that big being with us. Then with a shock I realized it was me!  I had a similar experience yesterday. I saw a picture of a bunch of friends and we were all looking out over the water by the ferry. There were also a bunch of strangers in the picture. I was amazed when I recognized which one was me, and that I was the smallest one in the picture. I almost started crying. What a difference 9 months makes.
 I started in a tight size 20, they were a pair that ran big too. I should have been in a size 22. I had a pair of size 22's and they fit, but I refused to wear them. I had this thing in my head that 20 was ok, but 22 was too big. Crazy stuff gets in your head sometimes you know? Now I wear a size 6, some of those are a little loose, but I cannot imagine wearing anything smaller, and some of the size six are tight. Funny how a single size can vary so much. I will probably fit in a smaller size easily when I have my extra skin chopped off. I wear a medium shirt, I would probably wear a small, and I do in some things, but I still have size D bras and shoulders. I have lost somewhere over 100 pounds since my highest weight a month before surgery. Well, the highest weight I know of. I had not weighed myself for years until I finally decided to actually have the surgery and told my PCP I was going to do it. For all I know I could have weighed a lot more at some point. 
 If you are newly sleeved and think this is hard, it gets easier. The first month it is tough, and you may think you did a crazy thing, but from then on it just gets easier everyday. I sometimes miss the early part. The excitement of watching the weight fall off everyday. Looking forward to getting up in morning and seeing the scale go down again. It is a hell of a ride!
 If you are thinking of having this surgery do it. It is not easy, but it is still the best thing I have done for myself. I wish I had been able to do it years ago when I was younger. I have so much more fun being thinner. I feel better, I daily amaze myself how easy doing almost anything is anymore. I used to have chronic pain, that is a thing of the past. I used to have migraines, they are gone too. 
 I have gone from being the biggest one in my group of friends to being the smallest. From being the biggest one in my family, to being the smallest. From being the biggest, loudest, funniest biker chick in a group, to just being the Best BikerChickk I can be. 

 I have decided to write down all the things I have gotten from this experience so far. Here are the little things I have learned, some NSV's and some funny things that I just can't get out of my head.

 1) When I first started this journey, the thing I learned is it takes forever to get to your surgery date. Even if it is only a month away.
  2) Then right after surgery I learned that if you are a newly pre op, that if you think you have to pass gas, sit on the toilet. Never trust a fart right after major surgery.
  3) Sip and wait. It may stay there, it may not. If you drink too fast it hurts and thinking you are going to burp and then having water or crystal lite dribbling out your nose impresses no one.
  4) Bite sizes change after surgery. I use to take bites the size of a gum eraser, now I must take bites the size of a pencil eraser that has been used for a while.
  5) If you drink after eating, you will regret it.
  6) A boiled egg sounds like a good idea, but my hearing is bad.
  7) A kitchen timer is my new best friend early out. One to two minutes between every bite chewed well, one hour before drinking.
  8) Taking an acid reducer gets rid of shoulder pain and makes water easy to drink. I had no idea i had an acid problem, but I guess I did, because now I don't toss every thing i eat and I can drink more.
  9) I use to avoid booths at restaurants because I did not like my boobs sitting on the table. Now I avoid them because I feel like a 3 year old because the table is so far away.
  10) Store clerks find it funny when you do not know what size you wear. But some find it fun to help you and dress you up like a life size barbie doll.
  11) Scales at your friends houses are evil. They tell you you have gained or lost weight you have not.
  12) All Dr's have graduated from the Spanish inquisition school of torture.
  13) You become linked in an unhealthy way to your scale and miss it when you leave the house for more than 24 hrs.
  14) A kitchen scale and a food journal is the only reliable way to keep track of your eating. I use fitday.
  15) Corn is grown in hell and if you eat it too early out it will take you back there with it.
  16) You are no longer going to have a bowel movement every day, you just don't eat enough. You will have one when ever it is most inconvenient during the week. Like a big presentation or when you are driving through no where USA with no toilet in site. Or at a concert with a half mile long line.
  17) You will forget to eat. In my life before weight loss surgery, I have forgotten my keys, my wallet, my phone, my phone number, after one really great party I forgot my name for a while, but I never forgot to eat. Now I do all the time. Once I passed out from low blood sugar or some damn thing. I set the alarm on my cell phone now to remind me to eat. I used to think that you would have to be pretty damn stupid to forget to eat.
  18) If you are in a stall you are losing inches. I did not lose a pound for 6 weeks once but I went down sizes in pants and lost 3 inches in my waist and 4 in my hips.
  19) The faster you drop a pants size is inversely proportional to how much you like a pair of pants. If you find a great pair and they look great on you, they will fit a week and a half tops. If you find a pair that are just ok, they will fit for a month and a half.
  20) You will soon hate things you use to like to eat. And suddenly you will like things you never used to like. You will also get in food ruts.
  21) I find if I get in a food rut, where I am eating the same thing basically every day, I stop losing weight.
  22) If you eat carbs, you will crave carbs, if you eat salts, you will crave salts. If I eat corn syrup in anything, I throw up. Just say no to carbs. One or two bites once a week in an evening is ok, but if you eat carbs early in the day, you are going to want more all day long.
  23) Get off your butt every day. Even if all you do is walk a block. Park at the end of the parking lot, play with your kids. Whatever, MOVE. You will feel better.
  24) If you start saving right after surgery, by the time you have lost all your weight and are ready, you will have a down payment on all the plastic surgery you swore you would never have.
  25) Protein drinks still come in handy on days when you just can't get in your protein.
  26) Your boobs start out looking at where you are going but end up looking at your feet. I figure they are just amazed to see feet down there. Either that or my belly was just holding them up.
  27) Sex is amazing when you can get in all these new positions and get your feet up next to your ears.
  28) Painting your toenails becomes amazing simple
  29) You are daily area amazed at the things you can do and how easy things are. You find that you are not afraid of breaking things by sitting or standing on them.
  30) You also find things are a bit harder when you do not have as much weight behind you. I got pulled off my feet by the roll door of my friends shop. They thought it was hilarious. I went to roll the door up and it kept going and up I went too.
  31) People have actually called me skinny and I have looked around to see who was standing behind me.
  32) Takes a lot more lean to turn my motorcycle now. You use your weight to turn and since I have lost over 90 pounds total, it takes a bit more effort.
  33) You have to have money and like to shop to lose weight. I have spent more money on clothes and new leathers in the last 6 months than in the last 10 years before that.
  34) If you don't drink enough water you feel like shit and you don't lose weight.
  35) You need to have your vitamin levels and iron checked regularly. I have become anemic and had to have an iron infusion and now take twice daily iron pills. I feel much better and have twice the amount of energy.
  36) Learning how to tuck loose skin into your pants is an acquired skill.
  37) If you want to really piss off those hard bodies at your gym, let them see how much your weight drops every time.
  38) Working out becomes fun when you can do it with out seeing spots in front of your eyes after only 10 minutes.
  39) People treat me different now I am a size 7/8 than when I was a size 20/22. The other day a good looking (if dumber than a box of rocks) 29 year old was trying to pick up on me.
  40) I feel younger. Really, I recommend this surgery to anyone thinking of having weight loss surgery.
  41) Make sure you take your measurements and take lots of pictures before you start so you can compare.

  I have been in a stall for over a month. I know things will have to change at some point, but getting tired of it already. My hair is falling out and I am starting to wonder about wigs. Hot pink would be cute lol.
   I want to get down to at least 150. I know stalls are common and that almost everyone has them, but this one is lasting forever. I wanted to get to my goal weight by 6-7 months, but it is not going to happen after a 5 week stall in the 4-5th month. Don't get me wrong, I like being a size 10, I do. I just know I would really like being a smaller size!  I think part of it is I am not as active as I was before I got sick. I need to start walking and working out again. Also I have not been doing as well on my water since being up here in Washington. I need to just focus on getting in my water and trying to get in some exercise, between going to school, studying, seeing all my friends, doing things for my Mother, and hanging out with my kids. Somehow I will find some time, maybe.
  I have been rebuilding the Vulcan I bought too. She had water in the gas and dirty carbs, almost have her back together again. Today I am just taking it easy and studying. I had a really busy weekend and trying to recover. I still get tired pretty easy. Still pretty anemic. 
  The weather up here has been cold and miserable, I had to wear a down coat for the forth of July! Today is suppose to be nice this afternoon, perfect riding weather and I will be in class! Oh well, hopefully it will be nice this weekend so I can ride.  I am going to ride down to visit some other OH members this weekend. I am looking forward to meeting them in person.
  I am happy to be alive and should not be bitching. I almost died a little over a month ago, sometimes I forget that. Funny huh? How you can forget something like that? People do not think on things like that and can let it slip from their active mind? I guess it is like childbirth, you do not dwell on the pain and misery of it after it is over. I just rail at the weakness and lethargy that is the legacy of the illness.
 

  I have been in a stall now for several weeks, even gained a pound. I know it will not last, but still is annoying. I have not been tracking my food as well as I should, but I have been keeping track in a general way. I guess i just need to get my ass to the gym and make some time to work out instead of screwing around.
 Since coming up to Washington to visit,  I have been hanging out with my Kids and my friends and not going for my walks or working out. I have been doing quite a bit though. I feel like I am going all day long. I still get tired really easily. I want to take a nap right now. Matter of fact I may just do that when I am done here. I got up at freaking 4 am. I don't know why I have to wake up before dawn. I can go to bed at 8pm or at midnight and I wake up at the butt crack of dawn.
  I am losing inches I think. My new jeans are a bit loose in places. I really like one pair I bought at the thrift store. My waist is tiny, I need to lose a bit more in my stomach. I am not unhappy where I am, even though I would like to lose a bit more.
  Washington state is freaking cold after Arizona. I swear they have the coldest summer this year! It has been in the 60's most of the time I have been here. I have to wear sweatshirts all the time and am wishing I had a coat! I hate to say it, but I am almost ready to go back to AZ.
  I found another motorcycle I had to have. Like I need another one. I had wanted to bring 2 of my bikes up here with me, but I was not able to get a trailer hitch put on my car before I left. I found this Kawasaki Vulcan 750 for sale up here really cheap. I bought the damn thing. I have two 1400 intruders up here in my Mom's backyard I need to work on. I went to my oldest sons house Monday and worked on My little KZ 305 I have over there so my son can ride it. It is running great now. I don't know why I feel the need to collect motorcycles. I have way too many now. Oh well, shit happens I guess.
  Then there are the clothes. Suddenly I care how I dress. I have not really cared for years. Now I do. I care how the clothes fit where before I just cared if I could get them on. I don't want to wear anything too big now. I had a lot of over sized tee shirts before that I wore, now they have to fit right or I throw them out. I ask my 19 yr old daughter if what I am wearing looks alright.  My daughter dresses me up all the time lol. We are going to The Rocky Horror picture show on the third, we are even dressing up lol.
  My friends are all amazed at the difference in me. They all give me a bad time and call me tiny and slim. Funny thing is, most of my friends have gained weight! It is weird to me that now I am smaller than most of my friends.
  I am starting to get a bit stronger this last week. I have been sick so long, it is nice to be able to have some energy. I have been going out to friends and going shopping. I had one bad day since I got here, I slept on and off all day, but I have felt OK most of the time. I still don't feel great, but I am happy with feeling OK. It is better than feeling like crap.
  So for the rest of the week, I am going to try to track my food better, get more exercise, drink more water and get more sleep. I will try to slip in some good friends, family and fun. I hope you all find some fun this week!
Summer

  Well, I went and looked at that motorcycle I was thinking of picking up cheap. That was a bust, the engine was blown. But the guy was sooo cute! I stood and talked and flirted in the 100 degree sun for 20 minutes. Man if I didn't have an old man.......  Oh well, it is still fun to look. He smelled good too. I still want to find another smaller bike to ride. I guess I can worry about it once I get back from Washington. Or maybe I will find another cheap one on craigslist. 
  There is a guy who might trade me my Jaguar for his Honda Shadow. I will have to go take a look at that tomorrow. It is a bit smaller than my Harley, but still too pretty to drop LOL.
  My son and I went to Sam's club and I walked around for almost an hour. It is the most walking I have done since I got sick and holy crap I was tired. My legs were shaking! I had to sit down a couple of times. In this Arizona heat it is too much to go for a walk outside, but Sam's club was nice and cool and lots of stuff to gawk at. I am finally home again and thinking that a nap now sounds really good lol.