Cinco de seis on May 6, 2009 8:27 pm
Well here it is May already, how'd that come so fast? I now have three chemo treatments under my belt with three more to go and I'm too excited that this is going to be over soon! Chemo sucks, having cancer sucks but life is soooooooo worth living. I just put on my armor and let God do the rest. He's got my back so I'm not sweating this little set back. This is not the end of my story you betta believe that cause I sure do. I am beating this heffa's azz!!!!! I'm claiming health and healing in His mighty name. I've got a supportive, fantastic team of doctors working with me and I'm doing all sorts of intergrative therapy that helps to keep my mind busy and lets me have fun along the way. So life is good, life is real good.
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The weather is warming up nicely and I have got to get back to basics with my eating and exercising cause I swear I have been a total SLACKER!!!! Oh and trust it is showing on my hips and thighs. Those suckas will never be smaller if I don't get back to the pool or walking or something man. I can't do the gym thing. Physically I can't handle all that stuff right now but I can do light stuff and I have to start journaling my food again.
I tell you if I have a craving for it, I get it. I don't even think and that's not good because you will gain weight and I have. I always wanted to get below 200lbs and I did right after my first chemo treatment in Feb. but it was sooooooooooo not a good look on me because I lost 27lbs in a week. Yeah not healthy at all. I looked like scary spice man!!!! I couldn't eat after that first treatment. I was really sick and food was the last thing on my mind, so I didn't eat. Humph chile please I got over that quick, fast and in a hurry. I made myself eat when I saw how awful I looked and eating made me feel better along with my prescribed anti-nausea drugs. So my total weight loss was -205lbs and I wasn't happy. I couldn't believe I had made it to onderland but losing weight just was not a priority for me at the time. Feeling good was. So I ate and I haven't stopped and my azz is getting big and once again I ain't happy.
Gotta find the balance people and for me it's getting my happy azz back to exercising so I can look cute again in my summer clothes. I am so not trying to go back up in sizes. It's time to get past these 18's. I've been in 18's for over a year. Yeah I managed to squeeze all this skin into one pair of 16 pants but um that was then and they don't fit anymore, NOT GOOD BUNNY!!!!
Trust me I know I have a problem and I'm working on it. It's so hard to not go back to the old way of dealing with stress. Especially when food makes you literally feel sooooo much better. Gotta get a grip on that thang!!!
So yes I gained all of that back (27lbs) and quickly, like in a month. No lie all of it and more. NOT GOOD!!!! Not good at all.
So I vow to:
start journaling my food again
to eat better and cut out all the boredom eating
to get offa my butt and get serious with my workouts
to drink more water and take all my vitamins * I do the vitamin part with no prob*
So in 30 days I'll look back at this and see if I kept my word to myself.
Word is bond.
The journey, though rocky as hell at times, still continues...