So - I turned 40 over the weekend - smaller than I've been probably since I turned 14 or so.  I was dreading it, but it turned out not to be a big deal.  I did over-indulge in birthday cake, etc... but now that's behind us and I'm moving on towards the goal!    Incredible changes since last year - even more incredible when viewed against my life when I turned 38 two years ago!

Generally, I feel really good, but have been less than motivated to make more change lately.  Just kind of coasting along, my scale wobbling up and down over about a 4-5 pound range, just cruising through...  BUT - deep down, I don't feel content at this point.  I am smaller, but not as healthy and fit as I want to be, so I've decided to take action to make some changes and get moving on to an even better place.

I've committed to my son that we are going to start working out after September 1.  We are going to be walking/jogging/running, lifting some weights and doing regular calisthenics.  There are a couple of people at my office who are working the P90X exercise program (you know - from the infomercials...)  Well, I had never seen this thing before these guys started doing it, but now I'm kind of excited about it and the results that I can see in the people here and the (largely unbelievable) changes that you see in the people online and in the commercials.  I plan to take the next 90 days to get into shape good enough to try this thing out after the first of the new year.  It's kind of scary - two of the big things in the program seem to be push-ups and pull-ups - two things that can summon fear from a fat boy's deepest memories.  (the only thing that might be worse is if someone said "climbing rope!")  Anyhow, I think I can figure out enough basic work for us to do between now and the holidays that we can try that sucker out after the first of January.  Maybe I'll put it on my Christmas list.   Keep an eye out for the new before and after pics...  Not sure they will be nearly so dramatic "as seen on TV," because I expect I'm still going to have rolls of skin hanging on even if I get rid of virtually all the body fat underneath... ewwww - that sounds like it might be ugly - maybe there won't be so many pictures, but I'll let you know how the progress goes.

On a slightly different note - I was out to dinner last week, and saw a teen age version of me having dinner across the way.  He seemed to be a very nice young man - roughly 16-18 years old, probably right around 300 pounds - eating out with his mother.  He ordered Coke and sucked down a couple of big glasses full before his salad showed up.  He ate through the salad and got a big pasta entree.  He ate through that with a couple more Cokes, and then they shared a desert.  It was all too familiar too me...  I wanted SOO badly to go over and talk to him and his mother and let them know that there was a way out.  He could avoid all the pain and be able to take advantage of all the experiences that are available for him in the next few years...I could see all the sadness coming his way, all the things he would choose to skip out on, all the things his friends would be doing that he would take a pass on...but, of course, I didn't go over and say anything... What is the right thing to do?  It's so hard for me, sometimes, to see people who could change their future and do nothing...  I try to realize that this is a decision that everyone has to come to for themselves, but it's still hard.  I just keep working to make sure that my own child doesn't have to go down the hard road that so many of us here on this site have travel led.  I have to realize that this is enough.  If you want to change the world, you have to start by making small changes in your own little corner... I'm owning up to that responsibility and moving forward.   Hope everyone else will do their part as well!

YES!!! - my son and I spent the (long) day at Six Flags over Texas today - we rode everything we could find, and not once did I have a bit of trouble with the restraints or worry that he was going to fly out because something was just barely buckled around me, leaving it too loose on him.   We had such fun together.  I felt great all day - it's amazing how much easier and more rewarding it is to take on the amusement park at 205 than it was at 378!   It's one of those victories along the way that makes all the work worth while.

On the darker side - I had to watch a lady in the park climb off one of the rides because she obviously had trouble with the restraints closing.  It made me so sad to see, and I wanted to go up and talk to her about the wonders that can be brought about with WLS, but, of course, I didn't.  I know how I would have reacted to such a thing two years ago, and I certainly didn't want to add to the stress she was already having by adding in my two cents.  I also saw benches full of people sitting outside the rides - many of whom would NOT have fit on - and wondered if that was the only reason they were sitting there, and felt bad for them that they were missing out on the experiences their loved ones were sharing at the time.

I also found out that there is virtually no good food to be had at an amusement park.  I tried to eat part of a burger there, and had to walk it off for about half an hour before the pain went away.   I decided to go back to just water for the rest of the day and settle for something better for dinner.

Anyhow - I need to be in bed now, but just had to share the victory with everyone first.  Keep up the great work and keep on moving towards all those small victories that will make your life so much richer.  

John

It took 13 months from surgery, but for the last two days I've been OVERWEIGHT!  Not obese or morbidly obese or super morbidly obese, but merely OVERWEIGHT!  My weight has been 213 these last two days - down from the 215 - 220 range where I had been hanging out for 6 weeks or so...  I am so excited!  I can remember my last high school football physical as a sophomore - the Dr. filled out my paperwork as "obese."  I don't recall the actual weight, but I expect it was more than 213, and I clearly recall how mortified I was to have to turn that paperwork in to the coach with "obese" written on it.  (Never mind that the coach's paperwork would have said "morbidly obese.")

I have been trying to keep the focus the last week or so since getting a much needed kick from attending support group meeting at WeightWise.  I've been eating better, avoiding snacks (especially M&M's), and taking all my vitamins daily.  I still have excellent restriction from my sleeve.  The surgery on my stomach works!   I am working to pay more attention to stopping eating when I'm satisfied instead of eating until I feel miserably full.   I've almost got my pool open and ready to swim, so I'm looking forward to having that as additional exercise in the coming weeks.

As I neared the OVERWEIGHT category, I've been playing games with the BMI calculators... to go from OVERWEIGHT to Normal, I would have to lose down to 181 pounds.  I'm not sure I want or need to go that far, and I'm OK with that decision.  I feel so much better today than I have in many years!  I would definitely like to lose another 20 pounds or so to move to the middle of the OVERWEIGHT range, but I'm really treading in untested waters here... Last time I weighed as little as I do now, I was not this tall!  It's been an incredible journey thus far, I'm still excited to see what comes next, and looking forward to summer to try out so many things that I've been putting off for many years.

It's been over a month since I posted anything here... I missed my actual surgiversary, but I'm still past a year, and doing great.   It's been a tough year, but life goes on...

In the last couple of months, stress has been high at my house ( my wife lost her job, and then her dad passed away) so my weight has not really been a focus for me.  Through it all, including a whole week of carb laden funeral food, I've been maintaining my weight within a 5 pound range.  I'm proud of that, and very excited, because before my WLS, there is no way I would have made it through all this stuff without putting on 10-15 pounds.

I made it to Support Group tonight, and thanks to some frank discussion and very truthful confessions from GlitterGal, I feel re-energized to pick up the pace and get the last 29 pounds off.  I threw out my snacks, and climbed my a$$ up on the treadmill.  (Had to dust it off first...OMG - apparently it has been about 5 weeks since I've even been close to it...)  Anyhow, I feel very positive and am looking forward to spending part of my weekend cleaning out the garage so I can get to the (also dusty) weight machine that is tucked away in the corner and start using it with my wife and son over the summer.  I feel sure that if I can increase some muscle mass while increasing my activity at the same time, I'll be able to make some serious change in the flabby shape of my upper arms and upper thighs.  Not sure there is any hope for my belly, short of a surgeon's knife, but that's just not a high priority right now... thanks to my UnderArmour, I can usually keep that troublesome bit of skin camoflauged pretty well.  Maybe in another year or so if I get the other trouble areas lined out, I'll start to consider that one.  Not completely sure, though - I saw my mother go through that surgery and recovery up close, and it seemed a lot worse than my VSG or her RnY.   We'll see.  First I have to get serious and start working my weights, jump rope, and treadmill.   I hope by the time I make it back to Support Group sometime next month I'll have new numbers to report and at least a slightly better shape to work with.

For anyone considering WLS who's wandered here... research for yourself - not just on OH, but everywhere you can.  If you decide surgery is for you, go for it with all you've got!  For me, it was the best decision I could possibly make and I'm thrilled to be enjoying life at a size I can't even remember.

John

This weekend, I attended a 40th birthday party for my best friend.  I figured I have only a few months to rag on him about being 40 before I hit it myself, so I made it a priority to get there and start the hassling! 

Anyhow - I hadn't seen my friend since late June - about 80 pounds ago.  It was a surprise party, so he didn't know anyone would be there other than his family.   There were several of us there that went to college together, so when he came around the corner, he saw us all standing in a line.  I could see him start looking at everyone from the other end of the line, and then when he got to me he broke out in a huge smile and then in tears.    When he came across the room to give me a hug, he said "You were always in there, and I'm so happy that you made it out alive."  Then we were both tear-ed up....

Anyhow, I made my way to the bathroom later in the evening, and realized that for the first time in a very long time, I had on a shirt and pants that both fit.  I could see my belt in the mirror.  The pleats on my pants were laying flat as I stood there, and thanks to the impression it all made on my friends, I could see that I have come a long way, baby!  It was a very powerful moment to be able to look in the mirror and not see the morbidly obese image, but rather see one that is almost down to overweight.  That guy had a neck! and a flat chest and stomach! and I could see both ears at once while looking straight ahead at the mirror.

I guess once things settle down a bit around my house, I'm going to have to make an effort to get out and find some clothes that actually fit to replace the ones I'm wearing that are not-so-much-too-big-as-to-be-ridiculous,-but-still-don't-really-fit... It does make a difference in how I see myself.

So, there you have it - the high point of my weekend was being able to look in a restaurant mirror and see my new body standing there.  I know - it's a little weird, but if you've found your way to this site, you probably understand.

John