In May I ran my first marathon (5K) and I was so proud of myself for finishing.  I got off track for a little while but now I just love to run.  I wake up in the morning thinking about going for a run.  So I've decided I am going to train for a 1/2 marathon in February. 

It hurts but it feels so good.  I am finally sleeping really well at night and I find myself with more energy and a better outlook.  I think this is a big help in fighting depression for me.  It feels good to accomplish something and do something beneficial to my health.

Finally, I am taking care of me from the inside out.

I have a job!  I interviewed about 6 weeks ago and got a call last week that I was hired at Cal State.  It's pretty exciting.  I loved being home with the boys but I was getting pretty bored.  It worked out nicely in the sense that I was able to take them to their first day of school then start work the next day.

It's hard that I am making $1000 a month less and we were barely making it before but somehow life works itself out.  How did we make it 8 months with me not having a permanent job?  I have to believe in a higher power when a miracle happens.  I worked 2 nights a week at a restaurant and got unemployment (legally because I wasn't full-time) and actually made close to what I am going to bring home now.  AND... I got to be a stay at home mom for a while.  Not to mention I wasn't spending a fortune in gas.

So, on a weight loss note.  I have lost 107 pounds and I actually saw 128 pounds on my scale.  My goal was 130 but I could stand to see 120.  However, if I don't lose another ounce, I am thrilled!  I found a card that Steve and Luana had us fill out last summer with our goals on it,  know what?  I've achieved all of them that I wrote.  I am wearing a size 6, I fit into riding gear for my quad, I ran in a marathon and I went to Knotts this summer and felt great.  I wasn't embarrassed or uncomfortable at all.  What a feeling!!!! 

My goal is to now focus on being more active and more involved with my kids.  I'm still really uncomfortable with getting out and playing with them so that is my new goal.  I take great care of their needs but I want them to remember me playing with them.  They aren't going to look back and say, "Gee mom, you bought us great clothes".  They don't care about that stuff. 

So in closing, I am so grateful for this surgery and I plan to keep the new me that I have found underneath those 107 pounds.

Life does go on and it's not always easy.  However, I am now feeling better than ever.  It's not about the weight loss anymore, it's about living my life and working with the hand that I have been dealt.  I am still very, very thankful for this surgery.  Not only for the weight loss but for making me face everything that has been making me unhappy.  I am empowering myself and making me responsible for my happiness - not putting the blame on anyone else.

I ran a marathon (ok, it was a 5k) but I did it!  I have always wanted to and I don't believe my husband thought I would go through with it.  I did and I actually did pretty well.

I miss all of the friends that I have made on this site and wish you only the best in your journey.