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A Fresh New Start...Maybe? on October 5, 2011 6:46 pm
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Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I've been on here. Sadly, the rest of my weight loss journey came to a screaching halt and all those lost pounds found their way back to me and they brought friends. It's been almost 3 1/2 years since I hade my surgery and I never did hit my target weight. But, my family and I have moved back to our home town, everyone is settled into school and work. I've gotten started with a new doctor and thought I'd pick up where I left off and get these pounds marching away. Not so. It turns out my band had no fluid in it...NONE!! I knew it may be the case as I can eat anything and everything. My new doc gave me a 2 cc fill and wanted to see me 3 weeks later to see if there was any left. There was none. So, I have a leak somewhere. I go Friday for an upper endoscopy to see if the band is leaking and if I have any erosion. If not, he said the most common place is the port. A miss with a fill and they can puncture the tubing. Either way, I know I'm having surgery. I hope and pray that it's the port...easier surgery, quick recovery. I'm trying to stay optimistic and look at this as a chance to start over fresh and go all the way. I was doing so well. But, I learned I need the support of a support group to help keep the journey in the front of my mind...always conscious. I'll have to update what I learn after Friday....never had an upper endoscopy before and I have to admit I'm a little scared.
Happy 2009! Starting over... on January 5, 2009 7:07 am
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Well, it's been a lot longer than 3 weeks hasn't it? The sad thing is, those 18's still fit! I've been really struggling the past few months with some personal challenges-weight included. But, here I am; ready to get back on the band wagon. I know this works; I've seen it. I just need to get my head back in the game. You see, the band doesn't know what you put in your mouth. That part is up to you. If you don't make the best choices, you don't lose. And the hard part, those evil carbohydrates go down the easiest. Especially when you don't feel like you can eat. These past few months have taught me that no matter how well I thought I was doing; no matter how much control I thought I was in; it could be undone easily. I am a major stress eater! The damage is done before I even realize what I've done. So, here's my new plan...visit this site daily and post my thoughts (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and food choices. I will apologize a head of time if you visit this profile and it seems too long or annoying, but this is a tool for me and I need to hold myself accountable. So, you may want to skip me for a while, but do come back and check on my progress.
If you are considering the band please understand that it is merely a tool and that you still have to be the pilot. You can't just assume it will do it all for you. Those chips, cookies, ice cream..they still go down so easily and taste just as good. The thing you have to keep ever present at the front of your mind is to decide, "Is it worth it?" It's easy to forget and neglect, but you are in charge of your journey and you have to make those decisions. I've been on automatic pilot for quite a while now. I haven't missed a doctor's appointment, but the weight has been creeping on a pound or two at a time. My addiction to food is stronger than I ever imagined. I really have to stay on top of this to be successful. Now, on the other side, I've only gained 5 lbs. Any other crisis or holiday season, it would have been 10 to 20. For that, I thank my band. But, I have to stop it now! I would make the decision to have the band again in a heart beat. Even when I feel I don't really have much restriction the band is doing it's job. I'm not as hungry; I can go longer between meals; I don't need snacks; I am satisfied with a smaller amount of food. Oh, there's another misconception-the amount of food you can eat. I spent a few years researching the band, and everywhere I read that you'd be satisfied with about 1 to 1 1/2 cups of food. Not really; I can eat quite a bit more, but not nearly as much as before. I have 12.5 ccs in my 14 cc band and I can eat more than a cup of food. Again, I'm in charge and I decide when enough is enough. I control the quantity by eating slowly and keeping the length of time eating to 15-20 min per meal. Even though I may stop before I feel full, in about 5 min. from when I stop I feel full and that feeling lasts anywhere from 4 to 8 hours. In no way do I consider myself a band guru, merely a continuing education student . But I will share what I learn and my own personal experience. If you find it helpful in anyway, that's great. If you think I can answer any questions for you, I'd be happy to try.
Well, this is really long. Catching up can do that I guess. I will be back tomorrow. I have to. Here's to starting over!
I think I can...I think I can! on June 30, 2008 5:55 pm
I saw Dr. C again last Friday for my second fill. I only lost 6 lbs. this past month. Not great, but better than I would've done without my band. I've been doing o.k., but lately I've been hungry around 9:30 a.m. when before I wasn't hungry til around 1 or so. Also, I can eat way too much and I'm hungry again only a few hours later. Dr. C. said this was an aggressive fill and that I'd be able to tell a difference. It's been a couple of days and I can tell a slight difference, but not much. He wants to see me again in 3 weeks and set a goal for me of 10 lbs. So, I'm gonna give it my best shot. Had a food crazy weekend, but it's back on the straight and narrow now. I need to bump up the exercise and I think that will help.
The wonderful part of all of this is the clothes. A lot of my older stuff is starting to fit again, and some of it is even too big. I went to WalMart last Friday night because all of my jeans for work are too big. I took an 18W and a 20W into the fitting room. I figured I'd see how tight the 18's were before I bought the 20. I'm glad I tried them on because.....the 18's fit!! YAY!!! I was so happy. I can't wait to wear them. They even make my legs look thinner. That's a great feeling. Now it's time to push on for the next size down.
That's all for now. Will post again in 3 weeks. Keep your fingers crossed
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I survived my first fill! on May 27, 2008 5:04 pm
I can't believe it's been a month already. Today I went for my first fill and one month follow-up. I've lost 12 lbs. since surgery--awesome! Dr. C had to admit I was doing pretty well and reminded me to get greedy for more success and more of how I'm feeling right now. I totally get it; and am ready for more! The best news is that I'm no longer morbidly obese-now just plan old obese.
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Anyway, I now have 4.5 cc's in my 14 cc band. Just sipping on sugar-free Hawaiian punch tonight. Clear liquids until dinner tomorrow and then back to solid food. I hope this puts me back to how I was right after surgery in terms of the food quantity I can eat at one sitting. It wasn't very painful. No more than a vaccination or having blood work drawn. All in all, I thought it was pretty cool. I go back in a month and we'll see how it's gone then.
I'm looking forward to next week's meeting and possibly going to Mudville again for trivia. Barbara is going with me. I'll update again after that. By then, I will have given this fill for a spin to see what it can do. I am so grateful for my band
I Got My Band!!! on May 2, 2008 5:52 am
Well, today is day 5 and is the first day I've really felt like getting on here and putting my thoughts down. First, as it happens, I had a huge hyatal (sp?) hernia that would have needed to be repaired in any case. So, it's a bonus to have that fixed as well as my band. Due to this I think I've had some additional pain in my chest area. Dr. C said it was the biggest hernia he'd ever seen. He's seen some similar in men, but not anything that big. Generally the surgery takes him 35 min. but he said mine took 1 1/2 hours. He was making a big deal about this hernia and all I wanted to know was how my liver looked. So when he got finished telling me about the hernia, I asked about the liver. He said that it was fine and no big deal. I told him I'd had nightmares about waking up and him telling me he couldn't place my band because my liver was too big. But, nope...I am the proud owner of a Large AP band. Apparently the size is determined by your height. Although I have probably little or no fluid in it, due to the swelling I find I have some restriction. After the secon swallow of water, I feel a little gurgle and can feel the water pass through. Or at least that's what I think it is.
My best friend has already asked me if I would do it again. And, abslolutely I would. A few days of discomfort is a small price to pay to get my life back.
The struggles I'm having right now are that I want a Diet Coke really, really badly. And, the food commercials on TV are starting to make me hungry. I know I couldn't eat any of it, but it sounds, and looks pretty darn good. I went to our support meeting last night and have lost 2 lbs since Monday. Not bad I guess, but I'd hoped it would be more. I go back Tuesday for my post-op and will be anxious to see what happens by then. I'm doing my best to stay off my scale at home--for now! I don't tend to be someone who ways several times a day, but I do like to weight just about every morning. I know my body is healing right now, and I know that will cause my body to have different levels of fluid and such.
That's all for now...I'll update again when I'm back to chewing my food!
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I have struggled with my weight since I was about 12 years old. I've tried so many different things with always the same outcome: lose only to gain it back plus more. I've come to a point and a weight that I just can't take that chance again. I am very lucky to be married to a wonderful guy for 16 years who has been so supportive of me every time I've tried some new diet. This is no exception. He knows my struggle. I'm also the mom of a beautiful 14 year old daughter and a fantastic 12 year old son. I have made the decision to have WLS for them as well as for myself. I can see my bad habits becoming their bad habits and I have a responsibility to them to stop it now. I also deserve to have the quality of life I want. I am too young to feel this tired. There are vacations my husband would like us to take, but I always laugh and say that I couldn't do it. I can't wait to say, "Let's go. When do we leave." I hope that insurance says, Yes! So that soon I can join the losing side and be a Bandster for Life!