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  • Username: Carolen
  • Location: Cincinnati, OH, USA
  • Member Since: 11/20/2007
  • BMI: 30.0
  • Post Op
Photos

Before & After

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Goals

Be @ least 170 pounds.

13 People
 in progress, 
7 People
 achieved this

get down to 180 lbs.

28 People
 in progress, 
17 People
 achieved this

Fit into a size 12

36 People
 in progress, 
21 People
 achieved this

Buy clothes at a regular store...not a plus size store.

797 People
 in progress, 
594 People
 achieved this

wear a size 14

26 People
 in progress, 
42 People
 achieved this
View Other Goals
Member Interests
  • Music - I love all music! Miss going to concerts...
  • History - I am a scholar of history and use my education to write articles for journals.
  • Politics - Political activism is importantj to me.
  • Fan Fiction - Wheel of Time fan fiction and Exalted fan fiction
  • Geeks & Nerds - I married one, what can I say???
  • Tattoo - I love tatts, expecially on my man.
  • Renaissance Festivals - Too fun, I try to go every year... but missed this year.
  • Dancing - I used to love to dance all night long.

Latest Surgery Support Comments

  • Comment by mimi4 on 4/14/08 9:42 am
    Carolen, I am thinking of you today!! I know you are in good hands. He is the best you know? You are on the road to many ups and downs. I am so excited that I can share this experience with you. Good Luck!! I can't wait to meet you on the losers bench!
Click here for the surgery support page
Wife, mother of four, dependable and ambitious career gal, who loves to spend time with friends and family.  I am 32 years old, though I can't seem to remember where all that time went.  I was banded 4/14/2008 using the Realize Band. Besides a 10 month hiatus, in which I gave birth to a beautiful little boy, I have been very successful so far.  I want to be able to vent the frustrations, celebrate the small joys, and even discuss the minute details that everyone else will get sick of hearing.... like how much I am able to eat... the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all.  It is nice to know there is a community where all this can be expressed and even understood.   
Carolen's Blog
Carolen's Blog


1/22/2010
on January 22, 2010 5:31 am

Emotions: still depressed.
Goal: didn't make it this week.  In fact, had a gain.
I wish I could blame it on TOM, but I don't think I can. 
Blah.
This week will be better.  I will get these blues under control and see some progress again.

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1/21/2010
on January 21, 2010 5:21 am
Went to gym yesterday.  I have been going during my lunch hour.  It seems to work out fairly well.  My eating has been on target the last few days, but I still fear what the scale will say tomorrow morning.  I feel heavier.  Still have not shaken the blues.  I plan to go to the gym during my lunch hour today as well.
Check in later.
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1/20/2010
on January 20, 2010 5:13 am
Still sore from spinning.  Yesterday was the worst.  I did make it to the gym yesterday, I was trying to stretch out my sore muscles.  It didn't seem to help much yesterday, but I am feeling better today. 
I have been down in teh dumps the last two days.  Maybe it is from being so sore, but emotionally I am feeling depressed.  I feel like giving up.  Just accepting where my weight is now.  I know I have 30 more pounds to lose, but all of the sudden I feel defeated.  Even with my last two weeks of success.  Don't know why I am feeling so emotional.
Anyway, I will check in later.
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1/18/2010
on January 18, 2010 12:39 pm

Went to a spin class yesterday.  It kicked my butt.  I was so sore this morning I was unable to make it to the gym today. YIKES!  It hurts to walk up stairs.  But, I loved it at the time!  Lol.
I will check in tomorrow.

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1/15/2010
on January 15, 2010 5:17 am
So, you will notice that I lost 2.2 lbs this week, 0.3 lbs short of meeting the 2.5 lb a week goal.  However, I am still ahead of my planned weight loss since I lost 5 lbs last week.  I am really excited.  I feel like I may actually be able to reach my goal by April.  I am just taking  it one week at a time and within that week, one day at a time... moment to moment.
Good news, my husband and I are rearranging our house.  Moving our bedroom to the downstairs bedroom, moving my sons to our old room, etc... well, this means that I will have an extra empty room.  We are making it a fitness room.  My children are very active in sports (Tae Kwon Do, Baseball, etc) and this will provide them a place to practice and condition while allowing me a place to workout at home when I am unable to go to the gym.  Hate to repeat myself, but I am super excited!  Now I just have to make order out of the chaos he created in moving everything at once.  Still, completed our bedroom last night and it looks amazing.
I was able to go to the gym this morning and I am full of energy.  I have not even had my morning coffee yet and still the energy is flowing through me.  I want to go dancing this weekend.  I hope I can make it happen.
I will check in later.
Have a good weekend.
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My Story

So, my story.... 

I have been heavy most of my life.  In fact, I don't remember a time I would have been considered thin by normal standards.  I reached a size 16 by the time I was 14 and that was it.  I was a 16.  I knew I was not as thin as the other girls, but for the most part it didn't bother me.  Only when my very weight conscience father insulted me because of my size did I ever consider myself disguting.  I remained a size 16 throughout high school.  I became pregnant and unlike most people, I lost weight.  That happened all three times I became pregnant.  But as always, I gained the weight back.  
Then I hit 25.  The weight began to increase... very slowly so that I didn't notice it at first.  All of the sudden I realized my pants were not fitting and shirts began to pull tight across the chest.  Still I was curvacious and never heard a complaint from my partner.  After two more years, I could not hide it anymore.  I was no longer a 16 and everything I had enjoyed doing was more difficult to do.
That was the first time I tried to lose weight.  I tried tons of methods, fad diets, but to no avail.  Then I bit the bullet.  I decreased my portions by measuring everything I ate and hired a personal trainer.  I lost 35lbs.  I was back to a 16 and happy about it.  I began going out again, dancing, canoeing, and kareoke-ing.  I actually kept that weight off for two years.
Then tragedy struck.
My best friend and soulmate committed suicide... in my bed, holding a picure of me.
It was my fault.  He needed me and I failed him.
That was in May of 2006.
A year later and I have gained all 35lbs back, plus some.  In my grief I did not leave my bedroom, my sanctuary, unless absolutely necessary.  I still went to work full time and college full time, plus I had my three kids to take care of.....but.... I no longer left my house on the weekends.  I layed in bed.... I became less then sedantary.... I became nothing, did nothing, said nothing....I was empty.  So, I filled tried to fill that emptiness with food.
That time is passing.  My grief is still as strong as ever.  They lie... it never goes away, it never lessens its hold on a heart, on a soul.... but I am a strong woman with children who depend on me.... so I learned to live with the pain.  The heart wrenching, chest collapsing, barely breathing pain... everyday.
Luckily, I am now married to a man who understands the pain.  He understands that I grieve.
It has now become time for me to regain a sense of myself.  In order to do that I have to regain some level of physical energy.  I have to lose the weight.
I have come to realize that I cannot do it on my own.  I need assistance and support.  The Lap-Band will be a tool that assists me, while the support groups, dietian, and surgeon provide the support I need. 
It is time for me start living again.