I don't know if it is about that time of the month, but I am in the worst mood.  The man in the cubicle next to mine is a leg shaker and when he shakes his leg the whole floor around him shakes.  It is like being in friggin earthquake for 8 hours a day.  I get nauseated from this shaking.  You can see my monitor going up and down.  I am going to have to confront him.  I have been nice for six weeks, but today may be the day I go off.  I feel bloated and fat.  I have not weighed myself for fear that I am gaining.  I just want to put my head in the sand.  I know that is how I lost control of my weight to begin with, but I am so frustrated.  I have had to reschedule my fill appointment AGAIN.  That is the third time in a row.  Maybe my bad attitude comes from the stress at work, but usually I handle work stress really well.

Oh and here is a little diddy that happened last night.  On Sunday I asked my husband to concentrate on supporting my healthy eating habits this week.  So, last night at dinner he made tilapia, green and red peppers, and some corn.  After eating I was still a bit hungry and reached for a piece of bread (bad I know).  He said no (in a not nice way).  Then I asked him to suggest something I could have.  You know what he suggested????  A piece of candy (like a hard peppermint)!!!!!  WTH?  First, his complaint was that I was going to eat something that is pure carbs, but then offers me a piece of solid sugar??? Then, when I pointed this out to him he refused to admit that his was a bad suggestion.  Yep, we argued over this.  Ridiculous.  I finally had to walk away.  A piece of candy!  I mean, I was in the wrong for wanting the bread, but a piece of candy??? OMG.

Ok, I vented.  It is out of my system.  I really think it may be the time of month and if that is the case, then I am not stepping on a scale until next Sunday. 

Oh, and I have not worked out yet today.  I am hoping to get it in tonight.  I did workout four times last week.  That was progress over my previous week.

I hope I get out of this mood soon.  It is kinda like walking around with sand in your swimsuit.

I am posting here to try to keep myself honest and accountable.  I will try to list my level of activity on a daily basis.
Today I worked out this morning.  20 minutes EA Active 30 day Challenge.

So, even though I felt like crap (emotionally) last night, I DID workout.  I owe that mostly to my husband's support and participation, but it is a tiny victory anyway.  I also woke up this morning a little early and did a morning yoga routine.  I have noticed that it has helped me stay on track the remainder of the day.  I scheduled a fill for Monday, 9/28, but I may cancel again. I am wondering if I have been drinking with my meals too much.  I am not always conscience of when I do it. I need to remove the glass completely until I am done eating, but that is a HARD habit to break. I will keep this updated with my excercise progress.

Ugh, I am so disappointed in myself. I have regained some weight back. I was not surprised to see the scale move in the wrong direction; I had a horrible week regarding my eating. My daughters birthday was Saturday and the house was filled with junk food. Pizza, cookies, candy, cake…. the list goes on and on. I had no control of myself. Maybe canceling my fill appointment was not a good idea. I don’t think I should even be able to eat two pieces of pizza. And here was my thought/justification… Well, in the past I would have had 5-6 pieces of pizza, now I am only having two, so that is good, right? WRONG!!!! I know I should not be eating that crap and I paid for my behavior by seeing a weight gain. Now I feel so awful I am finding it difficult to get motivated again. A downward spiral. I keep telling myself that if I worked out or exercised then I would be ok, but I can’t seem to get my butt in gear. Ok, you know what… no more whining or complaining. I have to just do it. No one is going to do it for me. The Band is a tool, not a miracle cure. I still have to put forth the effort. Self pity isn’t going to do me any good. Self determination is what I need now. When I get home, I am throwing away the left over junk and filling my fridge with the good stuff. I don't want to fail at this!

I am feeling down today.  My weight is still 186.8 which is still good.  My TOM is passing, so I think I will start losing again after today or tomorrow.  Feeling down makes me want to eat bad foods.  Ugh.  Just trying to get through.  Maybe I will go walking during lunch today.  I really need to start working out more... ok, not more... you have to be working out a little to add more to it.  So, my new statement is that I need to start working out.