MySpace Layouts

December 12, 2006 190+ (?)

Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty I am free at last.  I am done with my finals!!!! Woohoo!!!!!  I can finally stop stressing and stop eating Pop freakin tarts!!!!  I have had an attack of the carb monster in the past few weeks, but I have managed to stay in the 190's.  I have not weighed myself in the last couple of days because I don't want to be discouraged so, I am going to wait until Sunday.  I am back on track as of right now.  My clothes still fit the same too.  That's a good thing:-)  Anyway, time to do my Xmas cards and finish up shopping for Xmas dinner.  Nothing too sugary or too carby that's for sure.  We had enough of that for Thanksgiving.  I just wanted to update a little.  Also, as you can see from my profile I still have not posted any recent pics of me.  That's because I don't have my new digital camera.  My mom has one for me (so I don't have to buy one) but, she won't give it to me until Christmas.  I guess its supposed to be my Christmas gift (whatever).  What a control freak (lol).  Anyway, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas just in case I don't post again till next year, NOT!!!!


Tootles



November 26, 2006-19?pds. (haven't weighed today)

I'm getting a new digital camera for Xmas!  I really needed one.  The one I had was crappy and not clear.  So, I'm treating myself to a new one for Xmas.  Then I can post pics all day if I wanna (lol).

Tootles



November 25, 2006-193pds.

I am sooo tired right now.  I have been sick for a couple of days  again.  This time Dorien was sick (my 22 mo. old).  He is never sick but, lately he's had a runny nose and some coughing and sneezing but, nothing real serious.  Well, on Thanksgiving day he threw up and I was scared to death.  It just isn't like him to be sick and not running around terrorizing everything and everybody.  He even wanted his mommy to hold him.  He never really wants that (lol).  Anyway, I called the Advice Nurse and she advised me for about 1/2 hour.  I really wasn't trying to go sit in the ER all night plus, my husband is a Nurse and I had training as a Medical Asst. some years ago.  However, I really didn't go because there was no fever.  I started thinking that he might be having a reaction to the flu shot he was given the day before.  My daughter also got the vaccine but didn't have a reaction but then she is a lot older and has had the flu before.  The Advice Nurse didn't feel it was a reaction to the flu shot.  I beg to differ.  Anyhow, he's doing better now, still no fever, and back to terrorizing everything and everyone.  He's still a little sick though but  a lot better.  I also had a WoW moment earlier in the week when the kids and I went out shopping for my mom.  I decided to buy a Thanksgiving Day outfit.  It was sooo cute and right off the rack.  It is a black velvet crop jacket and capri pants to match.  The jacket a XL and the pants a 14. I couldn't believe it.  It was a wanderful feeling.  I love my tool:-)

Tootles everyone



November 18, 2006-part 1

I almost forgot that my 9 month Surgiversary was on Nov 3rd.  Yay me!  Not at goal yet, still have about 45 pds to go.  That's the least amount of weight I've ever had to lose in a long time.  Anyway, I am happy where I am right now.  I would do it all over again in a heart beat. 

I have a really bad sore throat but, I will get thru it.  It's about 2:45am and I guess I'm up because I can't sleep due to the sore throat.  Anyway, I'm also up becuz I'm so excited to be going to Tom's Farm today.  Its my first OH event!  Anyway, it should be loads of fun.  I know the drive is going to kill me(lol) but, that's okay, hubby and I will switch off.  I just remembered I have some cool clothes to exchange or give away.  I can't wait to get there and meet everyone.  I'm going back to bed now.  Must get some type of sleep. 

Part 2 to come later!

Tootles

part 2-Tom's Farm 11/20/06-194pds.

I got there at 6pm!!!! I was in downtown L.A. at 3:30 and kept getting the wrong directions to get to 210 Pasadena East ( I think). I was getting more and more ansy because I knew no one would probably be there after 4pm. To make a long story short, we made a stop in an Inglewood gas station we got the right directions, so we thought. It was just part of the right directions. We finally ended up in Corona but, not in the right direction we went West instead of East (i think). I was boiling at this point.  The sun is going down and I have a van full of hungry, frustrated kids. Anyway, we finally arrived there and everyone was gone. My husband went looking around for everyone, but was told that people began leaving around 2 or 3pm.  I was sooo sad.  I had to pee, I hadn't really eaten (no one had really) my cold actually got worse because I began to get chills, then warm spells, then chills again. I took a picture in front of the Tom's Farm sign so I could scan it to my site to show that I did show up. Anyway, I am so disappointed in myself for not getting the directions right and for not allowing enough time for traffic. I can't even begin to describe L.A. traffic. Its nothing I've ever experienced before.  I really wanted to meet you guys. I have been really bummed about it for the last couple of days and didn't even post to my site because the explaination was waaay to long and I just felt like such a loser (not in the OH way),  but I guess I should explain to everyone that I didn't just not show up. Sorry Dana(Dae) I know you worked hard to get this meet together and I bet you did a wanderful job.  I'm really disappointed that I missed out. 

I was there, I swear I was there:-) I will even scan my Hertz contract onto my website. Actually, that's not a bad idea:-) Wow, I spent $180 on a mini van just to drive in a circle.  At least, I know where Tom's Farm is for the next time.  Yes, I will attempt it again people:-)  Anyway, to make matters worse, my husband didn't want to  keep our Hotel reservations so , he drove 6.5 hours straight back to the Bay.  I had been driving from 7am to 6pm when we arrived at Tom's and that's becaues of traffic and several wrong directions, but mainly traffic.  So, in total we drove in one day to and fro 17.5hrs. because we didn't get home until 2am in the morning.  The fog was crazy in the hills.  I was terrified.  We could barely see.  I just kept praying we would make it home okay.  And we did, thank god.  I was so mad at my husband for not just resting at the hotel and getting an early morning start but, we all know how men can be.  When we finally reached home, we were exhausted and I was so feverish and sick.  It was an experience.  But, I'm starting to feel better.  Sorry, I missed you all.  I'm sure we will meet soon.  I never give up.  That's why I'm apart of this website :-)  Talk to ya soon!

Tootles



November 12, 2006

198 pds. (I'm in the Onederfuls!!!!) FINALLY :-)

Long time no write! :-)  Hey everyone in OH Land.  I have been up and down and all around with this weight loss thing.  I have managed to get into a size 16 jeans with a little room left over however, I have been attacked by the "carb monster!"  HELP!!!  Stress is a bitch!  I am not even going to go into my life issues right now but, lets just say that I've been taking it out on my pouch.  I have been going carb/sugar crazy.  I am sooo scared because I can now tolerate regular sugar.  I still dump if I eat too much but, nevertheless, I can still eat several bites of regular chocolate and Halloween did it!  I did good on Halloween and even the following week after Halloween but, I just got so stressed with school, kids, and the bills that the left over candy just kept calling my name.  I just went for it.  Of course I knew what I was doing when I was doing it but, I just couldn't stop myself.  I was hating every bite but yet I was still indulguing.  On top of all that I haven't been working out regularly.  As a matter of fact, I haven't been working out at all in like the past 3 weeks.  My weight loss has vertually stopped.  Tonight I was still stressing because I haven't read all the books I'm supposed to read for school and I ate pizza.  1 slice, then a couple of bites of 2nd slice with jalepeno's.  Can you say fire vomit backwards?  I know that didn't make any sense but, neither did the pizza coming back up along with the roasted firey feeling of the jalepenos right behind it.  Boy was that disgusting!  Stressing again folks!  Fastforward, I have cleaned out the cubbards and frig and am on track again.  But, that was scary.  Plus, I haven't been to the boards in a while.  I bet, I wouldn't have went astray had I come here first and foremost.  MY BAD!!!  Miss u guys!  Oh, that's right I'll be seeing some of you guys on the 18th.  Can't wait!

Tootles



***Bare with me folks, my site is currently under construction ;-)***

September 12, 2006
202pds

Well folks down another couple of pds. Onederfuls here I come! Woohoo!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I didnt' go to class this morning. I know better! I just didn't have the energy. I got up all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, got showered, put on my underwear and my shirt and plopped right back on the bed. I had just drained myself. Gosh! I guess I should have showered the night before and saved my energy for walking to the bus stop this morning. That was all she wrote folks.

I am still feeling the effects of that nasty ass virus. I'm not having diareah anymore at least. But, all the other symptoms are still there. I am going to the doctor on Thursday. I'm sick of not eating. I WANT FOOD!

Tootles



September 11, 2006
205pds

Still feeling really woozy right now. I am getting behind in my reading for classes. That's okay for now, I won't worry too much just yet. I have to get over this virus. I barely went to class this morning. I had just enough energy. I went and came straight home back to bed. I am beginning to be really thirsty but, I have to still take tiny sips because it hurts my stomach too much to drink faster. Its like I just had the surgery. Weird huh????????? Still not taking vitamins yet because I'm scared I will get nauseated and throw them back up. I'm still not that hungry either. Well, gotta go put the baby to sleep and then my turn. Good night everyone!

Tootles

MySpace Layouts

September 8, 2006
207pds


I am going to make this a short post. I am sick with the flu. I can't eat, drink, barely take medicine, and cannot take my vitamins. I feel like crap. I am barely sitting here typing this post. All I wanna do is lay down and maybe throw up. I've lost 5 pds in 3 days. Cool, if I wasn't so sick but, I don't feel like celebrating. Oh man, I just remembered I hit the Century Mark. I have lost over 100pds, 102pds to be exact (YaY me!!). Anyway, all the excitement is making me nauseated so, I'm going to go and lay down for a week.

Tootles everyone!

layout for myspace

September 1, 2006
210pds.


Hey all, its been a minute since I've written. All is well. I've been so busy since school has started for the kids. I started school this week and I'm oh so tired. I'm taking a full load and trying to make sure that my "pouch" still comes first. Anyway, I'm enjoying this "spoken word" course I'm taking. Its the only fun class I'm taking(lol) I love writing "spoken word" and poetry. I have so much pressure on me right now. Most of it financial. I know most of you can identify with that one (lol).

My weight is holding steady at 210-212. Depending on what number this really is, I only have 1-3 pounds to go to hit the "Century Club" mark. YES!!! Here's to getting to 209 within the next week. The Onederfuls are just around the corner

I'm only working out 3-4 times per week. It was more but I have gotten so busy and I'm always tired. I'm still holding back on buying a lot of clothes. I bought this $80 sweatsuit! I had to have it! I saw these chicks eyeing it. I was like you ain't gettin it. I'm soo crazy. It wasn't even on sale. That's okay. I haven't worn it yet because I'm waiting to see if goes on sale so I can take it back and get the price difference. I swore I would never spend that much money on any piece of clothing again after WLS. When you're fat, everything is expensive. It used to cost me about $80 just for a pair of pants and a shirt at the fat girl store(lol). I hated that! Its still pisses me off. I had to pay for the extra fabric I guess. Bullsh*t!! Anyway, I also bought a pair of jeans(size 16), and a denim mini skirt (size 14). They look really cute on me. Wow, its been a long time since I've shown off my legs. They still kick ass. I know I'm being conceited. I don't give a sh*t! It's been a long time coming (lol).

I'm still taking my vitamins. I hate taking that nasty ass B complex. YUCK to the 10th power!!!! When I went to my 6 month appt. They said that my labs were excellent except my B1 was a little low. So, now I added another pill to my already hectic vitamin regiment. The kids are doing well, the hubby is doing well. I think we're going to renew our wedding vows again. We didn't have a wedding the first go around. We'll see. When I make goal, we'll talk about it again. Actually, whether or not I make goal I think it would be great to do it all over again with my friends and family there to witness. My family wasn't too happy that we eloped.

My toddler is really giving me a run for my money, or should I say calories (lol). He's so cute sometimes and I can't even stay mad at him when he does something outrageous. Oh, I almost forgot, I am in the process of creating my "myspace," (my link is at the top of this page)so come by and visit sometimes. I'm also still working on my OH profile. My paragraphs look crazy. From time to time I will be taking my profile down to work on it. I just wanted you all to know I'm still alive and kickin. My toddler is into something under the kitchen sink, gotta run (lol)!!!

Tootles!
New pics to be added soon! ;-)
New pics on my "myspace" address at top of this page




Aug 7, 2006

I'm holding steady at 220pds. It seems as if my body doesn't want to lose anymore despite my changing exercise actiivity. I guess I'll just give it some more time. At least I haven't gained any weight and my clothes continue to get looser. Anyway, I have not completely cut carbs out of my diet because I'll eventually have to include them, but I am managing them quite well. Lets see if we can lose at least 8 pounds this month. I don't think thats too much to ask(lol). I am exercising 6 days a week now. I go to the gym and alternate that with walking (4.5 -6miles) every other day. We'll see what happens. My short term goal is to get to 170pds by Xmas this year. My long range goal is to get to 145pds. Right now I am still wearing a size 18 misses pants (non stretch) and XL misses tops. My arms are beginning to have that batwing thing going on. I'm on top of that with my weight training. That's probably why my weight has not changed. Muscle weighs more than fat. In that case, I'm okay with my weight taking its time to adjust. Off to exercise, woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tootles!

myspace layout

July 31, 2006

I was trying not to post until my 6 month Surgiversary (lol) but, I got
on the scale this morning, after a p*ss, and naked and it said 222. Can that be right??? What is that 4 pounds in 4 days?? I don't know and who cares, I'm takin it!!!

Well, my stepdaughter from hell is visiting. I know that sounds harsh, but sh*t its sooo true. She just turned 7. She is a master
manipulator and sh*t starter. What so scary is that I am 7 years younger than my husband(her father) and sometimes I think to myself is this the way I want to spend the rest of my life. She always finds ways to break up any intimate moments that we share. Before I had WLS she was always commenting on how fat my butt was (of course never in front of her dad). She can't do that anymore but, has starting sarcastically asking me why my arms are soo jiggly. I know, I know, I should be an adult about this. F*ck that shit! This kid is the devil's spawn. No joke folks! Everyone knows it but my husband. I used to think the things that she said, were because she didn't know any better. Nope! She knows because she acts like she's 14. I kid you not! You should see the way she dances(OMG). She also talks about having a boyfriend etc...etc...YES I'M VENTING! I'M GOIN TO THE GYM. This kid has big time issues but, no one will be able to do anything about her behavior because her father is in denial. Actually, I believe he's just embarrassed. I love him very much but, this kid is a problem. Oh, and her mother is off the hook TOO!!. She's just as crazy as the daughter. Lord help me!!

Tootles everyone!

MySpace Layouts

MySpace Layouts

July 25, 2006

Hey everyone, I wasn't going to update my profile today because I have been so depressed lately.  I probably should definitely update because it could help someone else.  So, here goes...I have been playing around with same 2-4 pounds for the last month.  I feel like, "what is the f*cking point??????????  Today the scale said 229, then 230, then 232, then 229.  I took the scale into different rooms hoping the different reading was because the floor was unevern or something.  You all know what I'm talkin bout (lol).  I have been exercising pretty good in the last 2 months.  I also have to admit that I am able to fit more food into my pouch.  I have gone back to the basics folks.  ASAP!!!!

I know I am only 5 months 3 weeks out.  I know I should be patient, but its hard.  I am going through a PMS period and I did weigh myself late this afternoon right after I ate.  Even if I had'nt, I guess I should take it and learn from it.  At least I am aware of my body.  Better luck on my 6 month Surgiversary next week.  I'm  not going to beast myself up over it if I don't lose anymore weight by that day either.  Actually, I'll make the goal very tiny, or am I just setting myself  up for more heartache?  Oh well, that's what I have you guys for :-) lol!!! I will try and lose the 2-3 pounds that I gained before my docs appt. on 8/2.  That would put me right back around 226(a new low) or 227.

My clothes are fine.  I am wearing a size 18 pants, no stretch in them (yay me).  Shirts are actually a XL, no more XXL's or mens T-shirts.  With all of this said, I guess I should feel pretty good.  I'm gonna end it here guys.  Will update next week.
Tootles!


July 13, 2006

Just wanted to let you all know that I have started a picture trail.
Check out my website above. Now, all I have to do is take the darn
pictures! Just kidding, I will upload some over the next couple of days. It is now 1:29am in the morning. I must be stressin :-) Anyway, I thought I'd keep my promise of updating pics on my profile. I'll be posting full body shots. The ones on my picture trail are only head shots. Old habits die hard! Anyway, I hope you enjoy them.

Tootles!


July 10, 2006

Its been a minute since i have posted but, a lot has been going on. I am now weighing 227. I weigh less than my husband. YES!!!! That's 82 pounds down in 5 1/2 months. I'm wearing a size 18 pants/skirt and an XL shirt. I am able to shop in regular stores with no problems. My weight loss is still a little on the slow side because I am not exercising that much and I sample different foods quite a bit. And, I have been drinking socially too much! Girls gotta have a littel fun (he, he, he). I guess my exercising routine could stand to be a little more consistent. I just have so much to do.

Anyway, I have moved back to school and the family is getting
adjusted(we live in family housing for students). I went to visit my family (mom, grandma, sisters, etc...) around the 4th of July and my grandma asked me did I have that LIPOSUCTION? I laughed because it was just so darn funny. People who don't know the lingo for WLS go with the term "liposuction." Its hilarious!!! I still have not told them and I don't think I ever will. They all think I look well. They also know that I was pre-diabetic. They know that that is what probably prompted my rapid weight loss. I don't see any reason to tell them so I can be brow beaten everytime they see me. And, Lord knows I don't want to stop visiting them. I love my family but, they can be brutal.

Well, I have to say that life has been pretty good since WLS. I am
able to do more than I have in years. I am waaay more social and I don't wait for things to happen to me anymore. I make them happen. I am soo pleased with my results. I go for my 6 month check up next month! I am soo excited! My diet still isn't what I would like it to be. I wish I could be a little more consistent with what I eat. I eat differently everyday. I mostly eat fruit. I don't eat/drink my protein like I should but, I am going to make a good faith effort this week. Thank God that I take my vitamins and minerals everyday like I should. My vitamin schedule looks a little like this:

Morn: Multi, CQ10, B12, Calcium
Noon: Mulit, CQ10, Iron
Eve: CQ10, Calcium

My food diary looks sumthin pathetically like this:

Morn: mixed fruit
Noon: chicken salad (1/3 cup)
Snack:protein bar (a little more than half)
dinner: nada or 1/2 cup of fruit (my favorite)
Snck: jerky

I need to up my protein intake. Its not as easy as I thought it would
be. Sometimes I have to choose between eating and drinking. I mostly want to drink if you wanna know the truth. I have also been known to eat and drink at the same time. Not a lot, but a couple of sips here and there sometimes. Old habits are sure hard to break. I'm still tryin.

I have also been experiencing really bad gas. Its not necesarily
stinky but, I'm always farting (smile). Anyway, I was told by my doctors office to take Gas X. I also cut my hair because it was shedding waaay too much.

Tootles everyone!

P.S.
I keep meaning to post pictures of myself but, never find the time. I
just set up my computer so, I will be keeping up with my profile a
little better now. I will see what I can do about the pics. Be patient
with me.


June 17, 2006

What the hell????? I went to fix my hair this afternoon in the
bathroom mirror and wouldn't you know it, my hair came out!!! I knew I would shed but, damn!!!! a 1 inch section just came out. I was so scared and upset. I gotta go get some biotin quick and make sure I get enough protein and water. Oh my gosh!!! Now I got a big ole bald spot right on my hair line. Its noticeable too!! I guess I can camouflage it with my other hair. Lord, whats next? Wait a minute! This is what I signed up for right??? The weight is still coming off and I feel and look good. I should remember that this is only temporary. Well I will be weighing in tomorrow and will report soon. I'm going to take my iron everyday and not every other day because I am usually anemic. Today I had a couple bites of Pizza. I know I shouldn't have but, I couldn't resist. Anyway, I visited a LoCarb store and it was waaay cool. Expensive but, it had everything I needed. God I want to buy a scale so bad. Not gonna do it. Good girl!

Tootles everyone!


June 15, 2006

Well, it is officially the last day of school. The kids r gone.
However its not over for me yet. My last day of work is June 30th.
Yeppeee!!! Anyway, I havn't weighed in lately. I weigh myself usually on Sundays. I have decided not to buy a scale because I know that it will start to play on my self esteem. And, I don't want that! I feel good. I'm still in a size 20 pants with plenty of room. I can get into a
size 18 but the waist is still a little snug. Anyway, I walked 2.7 miles
yesterday (in flipflops) and 3.5 this morning(this time I was prepared w/running shoes). I will be doing another 7 miles over the next 2 days and then I am done for this week. I'm trying to build up to a solid routine. I am also in the middle of moving back to school. I am soo excited about that because I will be next to my favorite pier and I can go walking/jogging everyday with my family. Just so you know, my waist, hips, thighs, and ass hurt right now. I am so exhausted from all this exercise that I can't even have sex(SERIOUSLY). Yes, my husband is proud of my weight loss accomplishments but, he says he has needs too. I say he's being a little insensitive right now. He says he is going to start working the night shift (he's a nurse) because nothings going on at home (at night) and he might as well be making more money (lol). Isn't this typical of the male species? If he can't have sex he'll become a workaholic. I guess I should at least be glad that his mistress will be work(lol). So far, he has not gone thru with his threat (lol). I say I need another week to settle into this routine and make sure that I am getting in all my vitamins, water, and protein. Then, I'll giv'em some(lol).

Tootles everyone in OH Land

P.S. I will post a recent pic of me soon!


June 4, 2005

Hey everyone, I am down 2 more pounds. I only exercised 1 day this week. Just imagine if I could continue to exercise everyday. NOT! Well, I try to get in at least 3 days per week. I am really happy with my results so far. I just wish I wasn't so tired all the time. I could do so much more. I am going to devote 2 more months just to exercising and getting in the appropriate amount of protein everyday. I will be 6 months out at the end of july.

The other night I ate too much and was really sick. I also went to
S.F. with my husband for a martini and a little fun. Later that night
before I went to bed I took my B12 & Iron pills. I think that pushed me over the edge. Maybe I shouldn't have taken those so late and on top of having a drink and having too much food. Well, I learned my lesson on that one.

Tootles


June 1, 2006

Today is my daughters birthday. My, my, how the time has flown by.
Well, let me get right to it. I didn't dump from the Poptart I ate. Not
a good thing as far as I am concerned. My weight has been holding
steady at 247-248pds. Man, this is so frustrating. I decided to get more exercise in and really monitor my carb intake. I think I may have broken my plateau but, i haven't weigh in yet. I am trying not to buy a scale. I've been weighing myself at GNC once per week. Anyway, my job has really been stressful. I can't wait until summer vacation. I am only taking 1 summer school course and the rest I am going to hang out with my family. My goal is to really get under 200 by the end of August this year but, before that, I would like to reach 210 by the end of July. I am still wearing a size 20 pants/18 skirt. I was wearing a size 26/28. I would like to be in a size 14 by the end of July. I think its obtainable as long as I continue to workout and watch my calories and carb intake.

Oh, guess what? I had a "wow" moment! I went to GOLD's gym with my husband(he's very muscular). He's been trying to get me to go to his gym for a while now but, I was like I am not going to a gym where every guy looks like Arnold Schwartzenager, in his body building days and where the women look like Halle Berry & Eva Longoria with a little extra muscle:-) GOLD's gym! I think NOT! Well people, he got me to go. It wasn't so bad. There weren't that many people there at the time we went:-) But, I was right about the way people look in there. DAMN! Anyway, I went and did my usual routine and low and behold. I didn't break a sweat! I did the same intensity and time frame. I also hadn't really worked out in a month. So, it was like my body was still holding steady at the previous intense workouts that I was doing a month ago. Usually, when I start a workout program and then I dont workout for a while, I have to start all over where I am panting, and pouring with sweat. I didn't this time(Yay me!). But, what that does indicate to me is that I will have to kick my workout routine up a notch. DAMN! There's always a catch, but a good one nonetheless. I think I will buy a scale today (he,he,he).

Tootles


May 26, 2006

I am soo stressed out right now. My birthday is this Sunday and my
husband and I don't have any plans as of yet. Well, we have a couple of ideas, but nothing concrete because we been so busy working and raising children. To top everything off the people at my job are really getting on my nerves. Anyway, I just ate a couple bites of my baby's PoP Tart. I don't even like PoP Tarts. As a matter of fact, I have never eaten a PoP Tart in my life until today. DAMN STRESS! I am now waiting to dump! Let you all know what happens later.

Tootles


May 25, 2006

Hey everyone! I guess I better tell ya. I think I have been
experiencing the "dumping syndrome." The first time it happened was 1 month out. I remember I ate too many s/f popsicles and I felt really full and had to lay down(luckily it was bedtime). I remember falling asleep and waking up hours later. Then, it happened again when I overate something. I don't remember what it was but, the same thing happened, stomach full and tight and I had to lay down, then fell asleep for hours. I always thought of "dumping" as throwing up, but I guess there are different versions or levels of "dumping." Well, in recent months, I have thrown up because I overate. For example, I would eat soup, then I would have a s/f popsicles. Then a couple hours later I would have a s/f fudge cycle. That did it! I was nauseated, shaking, my mouth was watering, and I couldn't lay down because my stomach was so tight that I couldn't lay down. Well, I went to the bathroom and began brushing my teeth knowing that I would gag (I always do that when I brush). I eventually just went with it and let everything (the fudge cycle) come back up. Justin M. was right :-) It doesn't taste so bad coming back up since WLS. Anyway, it happened again a couple of days ago. I have been sampling different types of fruit to see which one I could eat on a daily basis. I found watermelon to be soooo good. It did everything for me. First, it quenched my thirst (I'm always thirsty). Secondly, it is low cal, fat free, tasty, and filling. Well, filling is just what it did. I ate too much watermelon and I was so full that I could not lay down. So, I decided that I did not want to make myself throw it up because I haven't touched a s/f fudge cycle since I threw it up. So, I decided to walk it off, just enough so that I could lay down and go to sleep. It worked! I was free to continue enjoying watermelon. Well folks, I did it again! I ate watermelon like I had never had the WLS. I ate until, well, you know how the story ends. I can't eat watermelon anymore. At least no time soon. I just can't eat something that I threw up soon after. Maybe, next year I'll be able to enjoy a fudgesicle and some watermelon in moderation :-)

Tootles
P.S. one day I'll tell ya about the famous "cookie" incident :-)



May 20, 2006-(don't know what I weigh today and I don't care anyway)

8 days until my birthday! I hope I get to 235. If not, that's okay, I
will get there soon enough. Anyway, I haven't been exercising lately. I have been trying to walk as much as possible though. I haven't been very good at taking my vitamins lately. I ran out of my chewables and began sampling some liquid vitamins thinking that it would be easier. NOT! All the liquids I have tried thus far, have been disgusting. I'm going back to chewables. I've got to find a good calcium pill to take. I don't like taking 15 pills a day. I just want simplicity. Well, I'll just shop online and see what I find.

Also, I am wearing a very loose size 22 pants. It's weird, why don't
I just go buy a size 20 pants? All I have in my closet are 22's and
18's. I guess I am trying to skip a size in my mind :-) I can get into
the 18's, I just can't button them. I'm happy about that. I also
bought a size 18 skirt and it fit with some room to spare. I guess it just depends on who made the garment. A lot of people don't make clothing based on African American figures in mind. I wish "Oprah" would get together with "Baby Phat" and make some stylish clothes especially for a sista. Actually, Kamora Lee Simmons has a + size line. I tried some of her clothes on when I was in Macy a week ago. She got the fit down to a science. I looked good in everything I tried on. Too bad about her and Russell.

Well, my husband has jumped on the diet or "new way of eating"
bandwagon. He was always very body/health conscience. Now, he just has more of a reason to take it step further. He was so excited yesterday to tell me he found Crystal Light on sale for $2 (reg. $5.49) a box. He acts like he had the surgery(lol). It is so obvious that he does not want to be left behind. I think its cute! I would never leave my husband. He has been so supportive. I couldn't ask for a better "life partner." Anyway, my whole family has been benefitting from me having the surgery. The kids barely get fast food anymore. And, if they do its very minimal or they get baked potatoes, chilli, yogurt, or salads. I am so very happy all the way around.

I know this is a long post but, I really needed to vent a little. Its
been a long time. I don't want to abandon my profile or any of you.
It's so weird, but people really don't mean to. After surgery your life
just changes so fast and its hard to keep up with everything. Its
really easy to not post. I try not to take it personally when I get used
to reading someone's profile and I begin to feel connected to them and then one day they stop posting(after surgery). Like Justin M.! Hey Justin are you out there! LOL! Its all good (((Justin)))! He's probably out partying somewhere :-) Anyway, I know that he is just living life. And, that's what this surgery does. It gives those who have never known what its like to be at a normal weight a "new life." And, it gives those who gained weight over the years their lives back. And, the only way I know this information is because I am now sitting on what we post ops call the "losers bench." I have my life back.

Tootles


May 16, 2006

Hey everybody! I weighed myself at GNC yesterday and I'm finally out of the 250's! YaY!!! I am at 247 woohoo! Anyway, things are looking up for me and my family. I am sooo happy with my weight loss. I am not losing really fast because I don't want to. I don't have a lot of lose skin. I'd like to keep it that way. I'm averaging about a 15 pd. per month weight loss. I'm fine with that. My goal for this month is to get to 235 pds by my birthday (May 28).

I'm not exercising that much other than walking at work or in malls.
I'd like to start working with light weights because I don't want
hanging skin from my arms. I see a little of that but, its not too bad. I can still wear short sleeve shirts. Thank God!

Tootles everyone


May 9, 2006

Hey everyone, I weighed myself last week and I was at 256 -2 because it was late in the evening and I was fully dressed and just ate din din. So, I figure I am probably at least 254. I haven't exercised in a week. I am still really happy about my new life. I wouldn't change a thing.

Tootles!

blog layouts

May 1, 2006

Hey all,

I don't know what I weigh now but, I sure do feel lighter. Anyway, I
had a WoW moment last Sunday. My husband and I were getting ready for church and I didn't know what shoes to wear, so as I was getting ready I suggested to my daughter that maybe I should try on the high heel shoes that I just bought (to wear later in the year). She said go for it! I put them on and they slid on with no problems. They looked gorgeous on ME! I was so elated. My husband didn't really comment on how I looked. I could tell from that response or lack there of, that I must have looked damn good! Anyway, he later told me that my legs looked good and he wanted to cover me up so no one could see. How cute! By the way, I had on a knee length skirt.

I feel great! I do still have moments when I am tired. For instance,
when I go to bed for the night and I exercised that day, the next
morning I tend to oversleep. I hate that! Especially, if I have something important planned. Almost forgot! I had another WoW moment! I took my husband to the pier where I usually go walking/jogging. He was trying to keep up. My husband is a big guy(very muscular). However, he needs to step up his cardio :-) because I am about to be able to out run him :-)

Tootles

P.S. Hell naw, I ain't pregnant! Thank the Lord! I am so happy that I
could have screamed when my Aunt Flo came to visit last week. The B*tch was late! But, I was still sooo glad to see her. I went straight to Walgreens to get 2 forms of B.C. because there are 4 children between my husband and I. And, I am not ready have another baby yet. I'm ready to shake my booty. Not rock a baby :-)

Take care everyone in OH Land!


April 20, 2006


I THINK I'M PREGNANT!!!! I cannot believe this sh*t! I absolutely
cannot be. I also can't believe I just put this info on my profile but,
hopefully it will help someone else who may be in this situation.
Anyway, I have been waiting for my period to come and its late. I have been really upset lately. I went to the doctor to get the morning after pill but, they screwd up my appt. and I had to wait 2 hours. They wanted me to wait longer but, I couldn't because I had to get to work. Needless to say, I ended up not getting the pill and therefore missed the deadline to take it for it to be effective. I do not want to be pregnant. I have a 15 month old already and my husband and I recently reconciled (he did this to me, damn him ;-) after being apart for 9 months. The truth is I'm just not ready. It's been good being back together with my husband. However, I forgot all the trouble men can cause ;-) I remember before I had my surgery, the P.A.'s discussed not getting pregnant at least a year after surgery. I was thinking not gonna happen to me because I wasn't having any sex. I thought I was safe. Well, well, well, NOT! On the positive side my husband has been very supportive and whatever the outcome of this, I'll be fine.

I went in for my 3 month appt. today and I weighed in at 259 and I'm 2 1/2 months out. Dianne said that at 3 months a 60pd loss is the
average. I only have 10pds. to lose by the end of this month. Wish me luck!

Tootles
P.S. My goal is to get down to 190 by the end of July '06.


April 17, 2006

Hey all! Wow! It has been a while since I posted to my profile. I guess its because life has become a lot more enjoyable/pleasurable and fun. I have been so busy! Anyway, my weight loss has slowed but only because I have not exercised like I would like to with the new job, family, school and all the crazy ass weather. However, I did jump start my exercise routine starting today. I did Tae Bo! And, anyone who has experienced it knows "it ain't easy!" This sh*t is crazy! But, I got thru it and I'm feelin good right now. Okay, so lets get to the stats. My weight at the beginning of this journey was 309, but right before I went in for my surgery the scale said 307. Let's go with the largest weight. So, that 42 pounds since surgery in 10weeks. I'm beginning my 11th week out today. Eating is still a challenge, drinking fluids has gotten a lot better. All in all, life is really good. I'm tryin to take my vitamins everyday(that can be a challenge). I'm tryin to get in enough protein everyday(that's hard). But, I'm giving it 110%. I don't regret a thing!!!


Tootles!


March 17, 2006


Hey all I'm doing okay. I am now at 267! I am exercising at least 3-4 times per week. Its been raining a lot lately so, I have been trying to move as much as possible. Going to the gym is still a challenge mentally though. I'm still the only fat girl there at 10pm. I go lateon purpose. Anyway, work is getting easier and more fun. I go to my 1 month appt. on Monday. I had to keep rescheduling because of my other commitments. So, Monday will be my official weigh-in day but, it will be over a month. So what!!! Hopefully, I will have lost another 2 pounds. I haven't been in the 260's in 5 years. I can't wait to get under 250 pounds!!!

Talk to ya lata, I'm at work and I have to prepare to fire someone. Blah!!


Tootles!!!


March 10 2006

Hey all, I don't know what happened. I'm missing a few weeks of my journal. My surgery experience is missing. Luckily, I took notes and can transcribe later. Anyway, I am about 5 weeks out. As of 3/9/06, I am down 34 pounds from my pre op weight of 309 right before surgery. I went to go buy my gym membership the other day and ran into one of the guys from the "Road Rules" (MTV) show. He's is so fine! I'll will be getting off my fat ass to begin exercising tomorrow. I have been staying at my moms house until I get an apartment. Being there is stressing me the hell out. Being there is sooo not motivating. I can't even think there. I have got to get out. I have to literally sneak out of the house in the morning so I can go walking. I don't even get to walk everyday like I know I can because she is always in my way. God! It is so frustrating but, I decided to come back to my apartment on the weekends until my lease is up on March 9. At least that way I know that I will get to the gym on the weekends. And, if I get to go to the gym at least 3 days on the weekdays that will make my weight loss a lot faster. Anyway, Evilene saw me this morning and was like "you look skinny." I just took the compliment and smiled.


Other than that life is great! Will try and update more later. Oh,
by the way, I still have issues sometimes with food. I had a couple of bites of tuna last night and I felt nauseated afterwards. I think I
went to bed with just eating those couple of bites all day. Liquids have gotten better but, I would love to quench my thirst with big gulps. I know if I do I will pay later because I accidentally swallowed a big gulp of liquid before and my chest was hurting for a moment. More
later:-)

Tootles!


March 2006

Well, my husband and I decided that we couldn't live without each other. We have officially reconciled. I have not told him about the surgery yet. I need to see how I feel in a few weeks. I will tell him of course. One can't very well spend the rest of their lives with someone and they not know your medical history. That's just stupid. What if I have some kind of adverse reaction to something I eat or, just some kind of belated complication from the surgery. He won't know what to to do! I guess you guys can tell that I have at least contemplated not telling him (lol). I need to see how I feel in a few weeks. I will tell him of course, in a few weeks. Right now, I just want to enjoy the time that we're spending. We haven't been actually doing a lot of going out and dining, if you know what I mean(he, he, he-lol).


February 5, 2006

Todays gas pain wasn't that bad. I get to go home today. I hope my
sister (Evilene-lol) can get here before dark. My mom is dropping her off here so that she can drive me and my truck back to Oakland. I really need to brush my teeth again. I brushed right after surgery. My mouth just feels so icky. My roomate had WLS too with the same doctor as me. The lady across the hall had it too. I'm not sure if it was my doctor who performed it though.

No complications so far. Damn gas!! I HATE FOOD COMMERCIALS!!!! Somebody throw this damn idiot box out the window. This is the hardest part.

I passed gas the second night. I was beginning to get worried. I
started thinking if I don't pass gas then are going to keep me here until I do. Could that be a week or more? I got to get walking. Damn gas!! For those of you who don't know, the nurses all want you to pass gas before they release you from the hospital. Gotta make sure your new plumbing is workin it(lol). Oh, I almost forgot. As I was walking the halls on the phone with one of my bestfriends. There was this older guy who was walking the halls like me. I don't know if he had the surgery or not. He was very tall, all white hair, older guy(60's +), he didn't look to be too overweight. Anyway, I was walking past him and my god!!! He let out the biggest fart in history. I know we are in a hospital, but for heavens sake!! That noise could not have come from a human people!! I don't know if it stunk up the whole floor because I didn't wait for the down wind. I almost sprinted back to my room(lol).

Anyway, I just had a wanderful shower. I'mma gonna get me a shower chair(lol). What a relaxing thing to have. My roomate got on the scale this morning outside of our room (i don't know what for). She complained that she gained 6 pounds. I told her that she has gas in her abdomen and she's been constantly pumped with fluids and medications since she's been here. I'm not getting on the scale until my 1st week check-up.

I can't tell when I'm full yet! Maybe its because the gas is so painfull! Well, I feel good in general, but like everyone else, I get tired
fast(walking around).

Tootles & Happy, Healthy Losing!!


February 3, 2006

**Okay everyone I found the notes from the day of surgery and the next day.**

Today is the day! Its gloomy outside. I'm scared! Should I tell my
mom what I'm really going into surgery for? NOT! Today would be the worst day to tell her. My sister that was supposed to take me to Modesto (I'm in Oakland right now), said she couldnt take me(WTF). How could she bail on me at the last freakin minute. Is this jealousy or what? I wouldn't expect this type of behavior from her. What the hell? Okay, so now my mom says she's going to take me. I have to be there for 1pm. Its going to take 1 hr and 20min to get there and with my mom driving its sure to take 2hrs.

This situation is getting waay too out of hand. My mom went to go put gas in the car. The hospital just called and said they wanted to move my surgery time up, so they want me there at 11:00am. Oh Sh$t!!! What the hell???? Its 9:30am now!! No one is here to take me. I called my friend who had the surgery in 2004 and she said the same thing I was thinking. DRIVE MYSELF!!!! WTF??? Okay people, that's what I did. Hey, we're talking about the rest my life I am dealing with here. Did I want to stay in this saaaad state of health? Not another minute. HELL TO THE NAW!!! I got in my truck and drove the hell out of Oakland. I even passed my mom on her way back to her house to pick me up to go to the hospital(lol). I am surprised I didn't get a ticket for driving the way I was. As I am driving I realize that I locked my mom outside of her house. Was I going to turn around OH people? HELL TO THE NAW!!! I called the hospital told them I was on my way and they said, we've been trying to call you. SH*T! I called my friend back again because I felt bad about locking my mom out of the house. She calmed me down and told me that my mom would be fine and I needed to do this for me. Plus, my grandma lives house next door(lol). I can't remember if she had a spare key or not though(lol).

Okay, so I made it there about 20 min late. Whew! I found a park, put the alarm system on and prayed that I wouldnt get a ticket for being parked there too long. Truthfully, I didn't give a damn because God let me get that far. Anyway, I checked myself in and they led me back to the pre op area, I got undressed, they took my weight and vitals and then I waited for Dr. Coirin.

I have to admit I felt a little sad lying there alone. No family, no
friends, no phone. It was like no other feeling I have ever had. It
was surreal. It was just me...and God. I began thinking I came into
this world by myself and thats just the way I will leave it, if it comes
to that. The funny thing is, I wasn't scared. I mean, one might think
I would be under those circumstances, but I guess I had made peace with what I had to do. This was my life and my responsibility alone to make the best of the temple that God has given me.

A few minutes later I was wheeled into the operating room. Damn it was cold in there! I hate those brite ass lights. Okay, there was a cute guy in there. I hate that! I know he saw my stuff and the rest of my stuff. How could I have been thinking like that at that time???
Anyway, they started strapping me down. What the hell?? I started feeling clostrophobic (I think thats how you spell it-lol). Then, they put the mask over my face. I almost went nuts. They had it all on my eye. I couldn't breathe with it on. I was sooo uncomfortable. One of the nurses was sooo nice. She seemed to be the only one listening to me. She tried to make the mask a little more comfortable. NOT! But it didn't matter because I was knocked the hell out 2 seconds later. I woke up in the recovery room to what seemed like minutes later in no pain whatsoever. Thank God for that, but I was ready to get the hell out of recovery and into my room.

Tootles!


January 14, 2006

I haven't gone here yet because I really wanted to focus on my WLS
process but, in order for some people to get a little bit more insight into my life I have to reveal some of the real me. Well, here goes... I am going thru a divorce right now. Its not a nasty one. As a matter of
fact, I haven't seen my husband in 6 1/2 months because there is a
"restraining order" not because he hit me or anything but, because we were arguing and I wanted him to leave our home and I called the police. And, anytime the police come to your home it is called a "domestic situation." Anyway, we have a baby together. I am in the middle of filing for full/sole custody of our son.

My soon-to-be exhusband and I were only married for 2 years(I was
married 9 years to my first 2 children's father-1 yr prior to this). I
married him after knowing him for only 5 months. He also has a 6 yr. old daughter from a previous relationship. I can't say I was deeply in love with him when I married him but, I wouldn't live with him without being married. Anyway, we got married and he began to change drastically. He didn't want me going out with my friends or hanging out with my family. He became competitive with me. The End!


January 13, 2006

I'M APPROOOOOOOOOOOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good old Friday the 13th. (lol) Anyway, its weird because I couldn't
help myself. I called my insurance to see what was going on with the authorization process. I spoke with authorization directly and the rep told me that I had been approved for 2/3/06. I'M
APPROOOOOOOOOVED!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe my ears but, a part of me knew that I would get approved. Call it the power of prayer and just knowing that it is all a part of a bigger plan that god has for me. Well, I decided to call my surgeons office to see if they got the news. Well, whoever answered the phone today must have been new because they gave me some information that just didn't make any sense. She (i didn't get her name) said that my approval status was still pending. I advised her that I just spoke with my insurance and they said I was approved. She said, "oh, well call them back and ask them to fax it over to us so we can get you on the calendar." I was like, what are you talking about. I already have a date(i didn't bother telling her this because she just seemed to not know anything). When I called my insurance back to make sure that I "really" was "approved" they said that I have an approval date of 2/3/06. YaY!!!!!!!

Life is good :-)

Tootles


January 11, 2006

Still waiting! I am soo proud of myself. I didn't call the dr.'s
office or my insurance to check status. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to be patient. Of course, I've been praying for god to give me patience and strength. It's an ongoing process. I had a job interview today. I looked so cute ;-) Anyway, I think I got the job. The thing is, I work with kids so, I will really be heart broken when I have to leave. But, I have my own kids that I have to take care of. Hopefully, I can work something out where I can have both jobs. We'll see. Luckily, the new jobs training doesn't begin until the middle of February. My surgery's tentative date is for Feb 3. Pray for me.

Tootles


January 10, 2006

Still waiting for approval. I am trying so hard to keep myself busy
and not call the doctors office everyday or my insurance. Let's see if I can get through the next 2 days without calling. Right now, I need to concentrate on my diet and exercise so I am as fit as I can be when I go in for surgery.

Tootles


January 6, 2006

Had PCP office fax over "clearance" to doctors office yesterday. They received it and are now submitting my file for approval, so I'm just waiting now.

My job is such chaos right now and my car problems are past getting on my nerves. I think I'm going to lease. Gotta get rid of old bessy. Anyway, my doctors office will be scheduling me for February (YaY). I just don't know the date yet. I'm really excited. I've been taking my vitamins everyday. I think I will invest in liquid vitamins. It just seems like it would work out better after surgery. I'm also trying to lose 20pds before the surgery. That will put me at 289. I just want to be as healthy as possible on that operating table. I'm exercising as much as I can and I will be starting my exercise videos tomorrow.

Well, everything is moving along pretty fast. Its kinds of hard to
to keep up! I have to plan out who will watch my kids and take care of me when I get home. I have both my sisters, but they work everyday. I think with enough notice they'll be able to help out. Plus, my kids (15 & 12) can take care of themselves but, the baby can't. I just need my sisters to oversee everything with the kids. I'm not too worried, I know that god will see me through this and everything else that comes along.

Keep me in your prayers.

Tootles

January 3, 2006