Ok so now that I have patted myself on the back for losing 80lbs. As I stated before I had fallen off but I ahve gotten much better. It is time to pump it up and maximize the weight loss. I am halfway there to comitting, lol. I have been walking everyday. I will walk at work Monday-Friday for an hour. Not all at once though. I will walk for my 15 minute break in the morning, 30 minutes at lunch, and my 15 min break in the late afternoon. I will go to the gym 5 days a week doing 30 minutes of cardio and on 3 of those days doing resistance for 30 minutes. I will stop participating in all the eatin activities that occur at my job (for ex. the cake that was brought today) I will make sure that I get ATLEAST 60 grams of protein or more. I will stick to my 3 small meals a day and 1 snack (which will be fruit). I will resist the temptation of going out to lunch with co-workers even though I looooooove getting out of the office! If I am forced to eat out for whatever reason I will make the helathy decision that is available. I am motivated more than ever and I tahnk GOD for this sudden burst of positive energy and motivation. I also thank you all who have supported me throughout this 6 months.
Hey people! I have new pics up!!! Besides that I finally got my 3rd fill. I now have 6.5 cc's in my 100 cc band. I am eating cream of chicken soup right and I am not happy bout it. It taste good but right now I want a monte cristo sandwich, lol. But it is ok because after seeing my now pics next to my past pics I am ecstatic and more motivated than ever to keep workin this tool. I cant wait to say I have lost 100 lbs. I have 20 more to go, and if I can act right then that will be gone by July! Pray for me ya'll, I'm tryin to make it!!!!!!!!!!!1
Well I have yet to have gotten a fill. I do have it scheduled for Monday because I am off from work. Fortunately I have started losing weight again and I ahve offically met my April goal of 275, so I am on target! Even without the fill and being able to eat alrge amounts of food, I have been pretty strict about my portion sizes and concetrating on healtheir food choices. I have also been doing a lot of walking. But anyway I am 77lbs down and I will be at 6 months on next saturday. Its a pretty damn good weight loss for 6 months BUT it could have beena lot more if I hadn't gone astray so many times, lol. But oh well it happens to the best of us. But thank the lord i am back on track!!!!!!!
Other than that Im trying to understand why my bf is trying to convince me to have a baby like right now. Crazy right, I know. For 1. I have a long way to go on my weight loss journey and pregnancy would devastate my weight loss as well as be unsafe for the baby within 1 yr of my surgery for 2. I am not only paying back for the loan I took out for the surgery but also on student loans and he is currently a student (Not a smart financial decision), For 3. We are not married and I am trying to do thinngs inmy life that I consider to be in the right order (School, job, financial security, weight loss, marriage, then child) for 4. I am not mentally ready to have a child, i am 23 (soon to be 24) and I enjoy being free and being able to get up and go where ever whenever . Honestly though my main concern is the weight issues. I am doing so well and I def want to continue my progress and see how far i can go with this. It is def worth a shot after spending 12,900 out of pocket right?
Ok so for one I am frustrated because I have been at the same weight for about a month! But other than that at the end of april will be my 6 month mark. Crazy I know, I can barely believe this myself. But anyway I have had 2 fills but it has become obvious that i need a 3rd fill. Yesterday for lunch I ate a half a rack of ribs, some toritlla chips with spinach dip, and half a baked potatoe. Now I did drink while I ate purposely to push the food down but still. Thats a lot of damn food. I have drank while I ate before and was still only able to get a little down. But anywayt eh point is I must get a fil. I also must get some type of damn control over my eating and exercising. I have just gotten outrageous and its like i am sabotaging myself. you would think someone wh had to spend cash to get theri surgery would get their money's wrth but I am just playin around. Eatin up all this easter candy and people at work are always bringin donuts, cakes, and pies. It is all so crazy. i think i have officially given up on my goal of 170 lbs, no way will ever get there. So I guess I will set it at 200 and pray and work harder than ever before.
Ok so the other day i was standing in a long line for approximately 2 hours. During that time I started to get really hot and started sweating. Ten I became dizzy and extremely weak. Slowly my vison started getting blurry and my hearing started going away until the point of toal blackness and no hearing. I believe this lasted for a few seconds. Slowly my vision and hearing started coming back. I was then able to remove my coat and fan myself but I continued to be very weak. I wonder if this happened because of lack of nutrition. Something in relation to my band. Honestly I do start to feel weak a lot and have headaches. The headaches feel like hunger headaches and ofcourse not hungry at the time. This is so crazy. But anyway other than I have been really feeling like giving up lately. I'm just tired of eating healthy. the food does not taste good, and I thouh lean cuisines would save me but this is not the case. I have not been to the gym in almost 2 weeks, when I used to go everyday. Its like I am really unmotivated and at the same time I wanna be atleast 245 by July. I guess we shall see if this will really happen.
So pretty much I have been fat my entire life. I really started to notice it in 4th grade when I was 115 lbs. My ex step mother found it necessary to constantly remind me that I was too fat for my age. While skinny brother was able to eat whatever he wanted I was being restricted even with MY OWN BIRTHDAY CAKE, which everyone ate up and I got one little piece. Ok I was young as hell and I did not know I was overweight until that witch made it clear....lol . Anyway I ended up moving back with my mom and I kept gaining and gaining, and gaining some more. I was doing several diets throughout this time, but what kid or teen sticks to a diet. It seemed crazy to me that all my skinnny friends and family could eat whatever the hell they wanted and many times more than me and gain nothing!. I went through highschool single as hell, college the same. Here I am 23 and I have never had a man. I would say my self-esteem is the highest it has ever been right now. For a long time it was exxtremely low to the point where I attempted suicide. Most of the reasons why were because of my weight. I would do these stupid ass diets, lose 50 pounds and gain 75 to 100. Go out to the club and get rejected for a dance by being pushed. Go to the mall and help my friends buy shit because there was nothing for me, used to drink everyday to ease the pain, allowed men to treat me like crap and convinced myself that I deserved it because I was fat. Wow that was me. Now I am still fat but I am much happier. I made the decision to get this band because I kept gaining and made it to 352 lbs at 5 foot 6. I am happy I made the decision!