12/29/2007- So I have been in Chicago since 12/22/2007, came to visit the fam for the holidays.  I have fucked up thr entire time I have been here.  You know with grandma's home cooking and all.  Besides that I cant ven eat right here.  I couldn't afford to get a rental car and everybody here is so busy so I couldn't get to the grocery store, lol plus my mo's oven is broken (she does not cook)!  So pretty much I have been eating soooo much junk!  I have also been drinking while I am eating so I can consume more food.  Just defeating myself.  I was pissed before I let because I had hit a plateau, and then I come here and supremely fuck up like this,lol.  I have been eatin ribs, sausages links, chinese food, ham, alcohol mixed with juice ofcourse and all kinds of shit. Haven't had to much exercise because thre is no 24 hour fitness here.  My mom has thisexercise bike that i have done a couple of times, and some weights. Well I just had to tell myself to calm down it is the holidays, and things like this happen.  All I know is I need to get back home to get on track, so I can start cooking again, and exercising again, so I can get it right fir the nwe year.  I am sooo nervous aout stepping on the scale when I get back but I'm just gonna start from there! For real.  For the new year dammit! Last time I weighed in I was 318 I will be atleast be 288 by march and  258 by june!  Please pray for me!