Ok so for one I am frustrated because I have been at the same weight for about a month! But other than that at the end of april will be my 6 month mark.  Crazy I know, I can barely believe this myself.  But anyway I have had 2 fills but it has become obvious that i need a 3rd fill.  Yesterday for lunch I ate a half a rack of ribs, some toritlla chips with spinach dip, and half a baked potatoe.  Now I did drink while I ate purposely to push the food down but still.  Thats a lot of damn food.  I have drank while I ate before and was still only able to get a little down.  But anywayt eh point is I must get a fil.  I also must get some type of damn control over my eating and exercising.  I have just gotten outrageous and its like i am sabotaging myself.  you would think someone wh had to spend cash to get theri surgery would get their money's wrth but I am just playin around.  Eatin up all this easter candy and people at work are always bringin donuts, cakes, and pies.  It is all so crazy.  i think i have officially given up on my goal of 170 lbs, no way will ever get there.  So I guess I will set it at 200 and pray and work harder than ever before.

Ok so the other day i was standing in a long line for approximately 2 hours.  During that time I started to get really hot and started sweating.  Ten I became dizzy and extremely weak.  Slowly my vison started getting blurry and my hearing started going away until the point of toal blackness and no hearing.  I believe this lasted for a few seconds.  Slowly my vision and hearing started coming back.  I was then able to remove my coat and fan myself but I continued to be very weak.  I wonder if this happened because of lack of nutrition.  Something in relation to my band.  Honestly I do start to feel weak a lot and have headaches.  The headaches feel like hunger headaches and ofcourse not hungry at the time.  This is so crazy.  But anyway other than I have been really feeling like giving up lately.  I'm just tired of eating healthy.  the food does not taste good, and I thouh lean cuisines would save me but this is not the case.  I have not been to the gym in almost 2 weeks, when I used to go everyday.  Its like I am really unmotivated and at the same time I wanna be atleast 245 by July.  I guess we shall see if this will really happen. 

I just knew it! The scale was a damn lie.  I just knew I was looki to huge and the lbs were movin down way too fast.  The freakin weight wacthers scale that i bought for 35 bucks has deceived.  I really have not gotten down to 270 it id really 282.   I knew the scale was off the chain when I stepped on it and it said 243.  I was like oh hell naw, it's time to get a new scale.  So I stepped on so m any scales in walmart and they all confirmed the same thing.  a weight o 282.  I guess this is still good considering this means I have lost a total of 67 lbs in 4 months.  I just knew that scale was wrong because when it was hittin the 260's and 250's I'm like um no cause I'm still wearin a tight size 22.  Well atleast I feel better now knowing how much I actually weigh and how much I have actually lost.  Atleast I am not far off from my goals.  I am sure by April I will be down to 275 and about 260 for my b-day which should put me in a 20, still huge ! Grrrr, will I never learn that patience is a virtue?