My story........... where do you begin to decide to take drastic measures because you feel like nothing else works? When do you decide to embark on a journey that could seriously alter your life forever...........good or possibly bad? How do you decide to do something that will affect your entire immediate family if things go badly? Am I just being selfish to want to look & feel good again...........?

I graduated from high school 4'11 and 105-110 lbs. depending on the time of month. I've since grown to 5"1 and 235 lbs. But it was certainly a journey getting here. It all started when I met & fell in love w/ my husband (who by the way is 6"1 and maybe on any given year 20 lbs. heavier than when we met). I was barely 21, cute as could be, and very full of life. I think he couldn't resist. LOL! He was recently divorced (he is almost 6 yrs older) w/ a 3 yr. old son and he was determined to be the best Dad ever. He was a success! However, we moved further away from his son for his job leaving us many weekends of travel to visit him so he would know we loved him & wanted to see him as much as possible. So began my change in eating patterns............we ate alot of fast food. I went to college and started to put on a little extra. Maybe 10 lbs. to immediately start dieting & exercising to get rid of it. Which I was able to do easily............for awhile. Eventually, we moved to MI, and I became pregnant w/ our first son and enjoyed ever second of that pregnancy (minus the morning sickness that lasted 4 mos.)! I developed "preclamsia" and at the time of delivery weighed in at 198 lbs. I was swollen & huge! But very happy! I lost my weight w/ breastfeeding down to about 140 lbs. only to find out I was ,,,,,,,yes, pregnant again! My son was 9 mos old. Now I ask who goes and does that???? I was in shock & then happy as I soon found out we would have a beautiful daughter in late Sept. of 93. I only gained 27 lbs. w/ this pregnancy and no complications. Life was good! But very busy! I had no idea how difficult it could be to raise 2 little ones with no family around & at the time had not made any close friends. My husband worked hard to make our family what it is today. He is the best man I could ever know. Well, through the years that followed I tried every thing to lose the weight, I only made it to 150 after the 2nd baby, and gained up to 175 .......yo-yoing up & down till I decided to have one more baby at 33 yrs. old. Figured I knew how to do this by then.........lol so in April of 99..........we are blessed w/ another beautiful son! I on the other hand was 230 lbs. when he was born. I wasn't able to deliver him on my own so I had a C-section. Bummer........ but we were both doing okay. My husband had noticed during pregnancy that I stopped breathing in my sleep. At the beginning of 2000, my daughter needed and ENT and tonsils out so while at her appt. the Dr. said "her tonsils are huge" must be hereditary. I said probably because I've heard the same thing my whole life too! He looked in my throat and said " do you snore"? I said, yes very loudly, which is embarrassing & drives my husband to want to sleep elsewhere. I told him I was always tired and could hardly stay awake sometimes. He suggested a sleep study (which I know he saved my life that day) it proved I had "sleep apnea". I needed a Cpap and a tonsillectomy. Also, to lose weight, alot of weight.

I did all of that and lost 60 lbs. through WW & going to the gym. Mind you I've in the past already done Jenny Craig, the ever popular fen-phen, WW, nutri-system, various exercise tapes, gyms, books, invested much money & time to lose, which I did but to gain again. But the 60 lb. loss was my biggest success, I was cleared off the cpap machine & was elated. It's 2006 now and I'm back up to 235 lbs. I am a Certified Massage Therapist who opened my own home massage therapy business in January......... it's just after Thanksgiving and I'm seriously considering wls, due to a client of mine who did this 5 yrs ago and looks and feels great! She had a very positive experience with it! She had the Open rny- micropouch surgery done. She says it's the best thing she ever did and feels like she has her life back. I'm completely at that stage where I am tired of failing and tired of people judging me on my weight. I want to regain my life back w/out the hinderence of all this extra weight. I want to enjoy my children and not be so tired all the time. I want to hold my head a little higher and walk & dress a little prouder. Sometimes I don't even want to face this another day. But I do, I try no matter what. If I didn't I'd probably be 300 by now. My family is full of diabetes, hypertension, angina, my 60 yr old father has had stints put in and taking all kinds of meds now. He feels awful & depressed all the time. I don't want to be like that.........I WANT TO LIVE!!! So I'm here with you to learn......and decide what's the best thing for me..................wish me luck! I need friends on the inside of this......any takers?? Hugs, Steffanie