chanakurtz

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So today is the day that marks my 1 month surgiversary.  I am down 37 lbs and up until just this morning have I figured out how to get 40 grams of protein in before I leave the house.  I realize this thing is so psychological.  It's so hard to change sometimes.  I didn't want to drink it because it was nasty or because I could smell the protein, because neither were true.  I just didn't want to because I didn't want to.  Well, if I don't there are consequences so I might as well stop making the excuses on why I can't and figure out how I can...

This is going to be a very long week but I plan on ending it very well.  My birthday is Thursday and I'm planning on hanging out with some friends on Friday to celebrate.  I have not celebrated my birthday since I turned 30 so I'm looking forward to it...if any of you are in that Atlanta area, we will be at Taboo Two on Roswell Rd.  I've never been there and may never go again but this is where I want to hang out Friday....so come join me!

Lastly, I really miss yall...I haven't heard from too many of you lately.  My laptop was down and I had to get another one so I will be in here much more...this place is true therapy for me....Be encouraged today! Whatever your "it" is know "it" will pass....

Love Yall!

I guess the dreaded stall is over, thank you Jesus!  I feel great!  231 lbs, thats 37lbs down yall...just know as soon as you get down about the weight it drops off just that quickly..I just re-activated my membership at LA Fitness.  Funny thing is, I have paid for a person trainer for 2 years and used it for 2 months so I have over 40 sessions that I can use that are already paid for, who would have thought I'd want to go to the gym.  I'm going to start off with water aerobics and work my way to the elliptical and weights...I'm so excited because I can finally see the wheels moving me to another place in this life...I have so many near and dear friends that I have met her in OH who are really good for my ego (i love that song) and I want to make sure that I don't let anybody down, especially myself.  I will ensure that I am successful so its equally to me to be honest on this journey...I'm so ready to get my work out on...

I heard last night that I was Super Nova! Once I found out what it meant I was more than flattered, what a wonderful friend to instill that type of encouragement into my life.....

Hang on in there yall! For those of you who have not had surgery yet, this ride is the best ride ever.  Every peak and valley is worth it...Strap up and enjoy it!

Hey Yall!  I am so glad that I have made it to this day in life, a day I have never seen and a day I will not see again so guess what?  I'm going to enjoy this gift!  So, again I petition the prayers of all you who say you love me...lol I know yall love me...
Anyway, I have three HUGE HUGE HUGE decisions to make in my life and they are very hard.  No doubt that  God will provide, and wherever I am weak He remains strong.  This week has been a very intersting one, filled with hope on one hand and seemingly hopelessness on the other.  Yes I love the Lord and I should never feel hopeless, however, the reality is we are all wrapped in flesh and feel these emotions at one point or another..Today I feel GREAT! Inspite of the life altering decisions that HAVE to be made.  I feel like the cream that rises to the top.  Not because of my weight loss but because of the purity of my heart.  This week I was able to extend a job offer to a young lady that would have probably not gotten this type of opportunity but God set it all up and she is by far the best candidate we had for the job and is doing absolutely wonderful...I have a few new friends in my circle, thanks to WLS.  I talked to a young lady last night and I hope that I offered her some type of reassurance that her decision is indeed a good one. 
Things around me are happening so fast...and guess what?  I finally have the energy to deal with it all!  I love it! This is the best I have felt in years.  No pain in the ankles, knees, hips, shoulders or butt! Just genuine life living and its great!
I know its easier said than done but don't be discouraged. You may not feel like where you want to be in your weight loss, your relationships, your job, but don't fret. Trials come to make us all strong.

I'm looking forward to getting away for a while with nothing but relaxation and much needed companionship....

Its the weekend yall!  Have Fun!!!

Ok, so this morning when I got up and got on the scale to notice 2 more pounds were gone I was elated.  I have not lost a lb in almost 2 weeks but today, 2 were gone. Of course I'm having issues with protein and getting my butt out to walk but Monday is my 1 month surgiversary and I'm going to make it happen.  This 35lb weight loss is dramatic and was just the boost I need. 
Be encouraged yall.  You still have to do your part.  Ask God for wisdom in all that you do.  We do fall sometimes but we will get back up!  I promise.  I'm at such a vulnerable time in my life as are many of us but in the end we win...Don't get stuck where you are, changes are happening for some of us at alarming rates....Smile today!  When I woke up this morning and took a deep look at myself in the mirror, I smiled and it will be the most pronounced accessory that I wear from here on out!
Its so much to be worried about but why?  If you woke up this morning and have a sound mind, there is really nothing to worry about, really!  My kids are fine, my mortgage is paid, car note is paid, I have gas, electric and water on in my house and oh yea...though it may not be on blast, I have food!  I know there are so many without but I thank God today that lack of anything is not my story..Praise be to your name Father!  We have all come so far so lets keep it moving!

So today my aunt and I had a good conversation.  I have not been in church lately, I will admit.  It does not change my love for the Lord, just alters my stance on those who pretend to love Him...I've just gotten kinda sick of fake people.  Unfortunately, I didn't adopt that motto, fake it til you make it.  I believe the only way to any type of freedom is to be honest.  I don't mean be obnoxious and arrogant and hurt people's feelings.  Just simply be honest.  Yes I would love to tell you all that God is so good and everything in my life is absolutely wonderful...but really, everything is not all the time.  I love my life and all the changes that happen within my walls and without a doubt God remains good but I don't have to lie on HIM!

It has taken me about 4 hours to write this blog because guess what.  I was dumping!  I was dumping!  Did you hear me?  That was the worst God awful feeling I have ever felt in my life.  A protein smoothie from Smoothie King, I usually go to GNC but today it was Smoothie King and it made me dump.  I litterally thought I was going to die.  I thought I had a cruel infecting inside my stomach and all the things people wanted to be true about WLS was coming true....I never lost sight of God.  I prayed the whole time asking Him to relieve me of the pain, it was horrible yall!!!

I have been so careful not to have sugar and junk in my system but to my surprise, Smoothie King adds a syrup of sorts to their smoothies and that did it..I drank over half of it, maybe about 18oz of this crap...boy I didn't know that I would recover.  I thought it was gas but it got worse and worse as the time went by.  I knew it wasn't gas when the extra strength rolaids just about took me over the top.....

So in all honesty, this is the best thing I've done even if I don't like the rules.  After now experiencing dumping and getting food stuck, I am more excited about the progress I will be making very soon!!!

Stay encouraged yall!

I'm sure most of yall at this point has hit a stall at some point or another.  The most encouraging thing for me is to know that it won't last always.  Yes there are tactics from the enemy that tries to imply that you will not be as successful as the girl you saw who was once your size but now wears as size 5.  Remember the devil is the father of lies and use the info he tries to infect you with as the opposite, that's what you get! Take his lies and turn them around....

I've been down 33 lbs since last week and yes I'm ready to change my position so that this stuff can start falling off.  I can tell that my skin is not so  saturated with fat.  Does that make sense?  My skin feels different.  Can't explain it really so I hope you know what I mean.  I say that to say it's not hardly over yet.  My biggest concern which probably shouldn't be is my arms.  I think they should bouce back because they were only actually big over the last year and a half, prior to that, my arms weren't really big.  Nonetheless, as usal, be encouraged yall!  I am almost a month out, can you believe that?  I sure can't.  I love where I am growing emotionally, up until the past few days its been so emotional. I'm looking forward to seeing what life rolls my way as a result of this new found confidence....

I didn't hear but from one person to tell me how they were going to do something different. I posted that blog last week so its my hope that you guys just committed to it and didn't tell me..that's fine, who am I?  LOL

Luv Yall!!!

Thank God for the Holy Spirit!  I am so glad this morning I listened to His voice.  Ok, so today, I have this really cute wrap dress on that I've been waiting to get back in to.  I bought these cute gold earring because I know  I have the sharp gold shoes that I couldn't wait to get into as well.  Well guess what?  The darn shoes dont fit, I feet slid all the way thru them...OMG...if I had not listened to the Holy Spirit and failed to bring my flip flops I would be walking around work barefoot. Really, this is crazy!  My feet?  I knew they would go down some but I clearly can not wear those at all...I might as well pack the silver ones up too because those are the same size.  I had gotten up to size 11 shoes, I'd dare say now I could fit a 9 1/2....I love my RNY...so now I'll be giving away shoes and clothes.....LOL

Ok so I have had 3 days in a row where I'm feeling great!  Thanks for all the prayers because I was struggling there for a moment.  My only issue right now is having a bowel movement, I'm confident when that is rectified I will be well on my way...

Yall, we are morphing everyday.  What we were able to tolerate before has come to a screeching hault! I remember asking if we were going to change, one would think that the essence of our character wouldn't and that's correct, but so much about us does change along with the physical aspect of this surgery. 

Don't let anyone distract you from the inevitable.  To me, this process is very slow and I can't see what others see, yet I am reminded that this is an inside out thing.  People see the outside but I see the inside.  My insides are healing.  The things that I used to do to myself that manifested outwardly are being corrected by the healing that is going on internally.  Does that make sense?  So therefore, I am changing, we all are changing and if we were not our determination for this surgery would have been in vain.

Today, do something different.  Try something you haven't tried before.  Trust God for something you thought could never be! Encourage somebody else because what goes around comes right back! Don't get discouraged if you gain a couple of pounds or if you are not losing at the rate you thought! Just try something else.  If you usually get on the scale everyday ( I do) try to stay off it.  If you haven't been getting in your protein because the way you have been doing it didn't work, try it another way.  I did today and guess what?  I won!  I bought some of the fage yogurt mixed it with my vanilla protein with a banana and orange pineapple crystal light oh yea and a little bit of lactaid(cant do milk).  I loved it...I threw a few ice cubes in there and viola! I got about 20 oz in I think, well maybe 16 oz but it was the first day I actually enjoyed it.  This is not a sprint yall!  Figure out what works and if it doesnt try something else.  I'm getting all my vitamins in, yay!  I never took a vitamin before this week but it has changed my life...

I love yall so much! I am so looking forward to the testimonies of each of you reading after you "try something different."  Please send me a message and let me know what you did and how it impacted your life, I'd love to hear it...

TGIF!

Hey yall!  I went to bed and woke up this morning with a made up mind.  Yesterday's blog was so crucial because immediately after I finished it I received a release.  I have been on the up and up every since.  Thank you Jesus.  These forces in the earth are real yall and we have to be prepared to recognize them.  God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power love and a strong mind...I am restored and I'm ready to work.  Many of you have been so thoughtful and encouraging and I find it my duty to keep on pressing on to do what God has called me to do.  Yesterday I met with a sales/marketing manager to discuss TOTL (turn on the light) which is the platform from which I will launch my motivational speaking and he gave me a few assignments and when we come back together my calendar will start filling up.  The funny thing is, the enemy always has some cunning sly remarks and if we are not careful, we will believe them.  God revealed to me years ago that the enemie's job is to prove to you that I am a liar.  Well, since we know that the enemy is the father of lies and is so stupid, he doesn't realize he is revealing to you your destiny...how dumb is that? For example, he says, you are not losing weight, you still are fat and nobody wants to hear your story.  You will always be fat, you will never be loved the way you desire..blah blah blah.  What he is really saying is you are so beautiful, look at that weight coming off.  You have such a testimony for the world to hear, you go girl!!! LOL. 

I am so proud to have such a faithful group of friends.  Even though I may not get a chance to talk to everyone all the time I feel such a connection to you all.  Everytime I get an encouraging response telling me to keep on or that you needed that, I give God the glory.  It's only thru Him yall!  It is my sincere promise that I will cultivate my gift and if it's God's will, I will be in your city as soon as I can...

I'm praying for yall.  You are more than conquerors! Be encouraged...

Check out the website if you haven't already....www.plugn2thepower.com

Hey yall, I'm feeling a bit better today, 33 lbs are gone.  Every day that I can get more food in the better I feel.  I just started taking vitamins this week so I'm sure I will continue to feel mo betta and mo betta...lol...My truck's gear shift decided it was no longer going to work and had to have it towed yesterday to the dealership...$800 later!  I can't even get mad about it.  Thank God I'm not spending money on food like I used to or I would be jacked up...not really, God supplies all my needs according to His riches in Glory so I am yet reminded that I lack nothing.  I don't like not having my own means of transportation even if it's only for 2 days but such is life.  Anyway, I'm still petitioning prayers because I know my heart desires to be a motivational speaker but my body is stuck here as an HR Director.  I'm not complaining about the job per se but the environment is not conducive to what God has me.  Now, this is a family business and the money is rolling in hand over fist but guess what?  It's not what God has for me to do.  Now that my mom has been blessed to get to the place of God's promise for her life, it's now time for me to get there too.  Why should I be afraid?  I'm not quite sure?  I believe Psalm 27.  God has provided me with a platform in which to speak, so why not go for it?  I haven't figured it out yet other than fear, and I know that does not glorify God.

So today, I speak against the spirit of fear.  Not just for myself but for all of those who are struggling with fear.  It is not of you dear Lord, so I ask right now in your Son's name to purge the fear, guilt or shame that has been sent to destroy us.  We know that no weapons form against us shall prosper.  So I cancel any assignment the enemy has against me and my friends here in OH.  Lord, you know that we desire to please you.  Clear our paths so that we may do your will God.  We believe your word when it tells us that the race is not given to the swift or the strong but to those who endure until the end.  We have put on our armour God, and we ask that you help us to endure to the end.  We know that you will not leave us nor forsake us, and we are so greatful God.  Thank you for loving us so much that we will never be left alone.  When the spirit of loneliness hits our hearts, God, I pray right now that you would send ministering angels to speak to our hearts reminding us that you are with us.  I cast out every imagination and suggestion from the enemy.  Lord, let your will be done in our lives God.  In every situation where the canker worm has stolen our joy, our lives, our gifts..God restore us back to you.  There is no lack in your will Father..Lord I close with repentance.  I have been sulking and upset for the past few days.  Thank you God that you are the only one here to soothe me right now.  I thank you God that the old Chana would have wanted to cover any pain with sex or affirmation from a man but the new Chana sought you God.  Glory to your name Jesus. Thank you Lord for being the same God today, yesterday, and forever more...Hallelujah! Pave the way dear Lord! Bless us indeed.  Forgive us for our sins those knowing and unknowing Father. We give our hearts, minds, and souls to you oh Lord.  Teach us deligence and steadfastness God...we love you Lord and we know in the end, we are victorious! It is in your son's matchless name that I pray....

Amen!