Its been a ride getting cleared for surgery but i have all of my clearances done!!! its a time full of  excitement for the next step towards my goal of getting healthy. I have been working so hard. ive slipped up a few times but ive stayed on track. the thing that has me bummed is that me and my partner broke up. she wants to focus on finding herself and i feel like the progress i have made towards surgery has caused some of this. i feel bc im doing somthing life changing for myself she wants to go off and find herself and work on her. she was suppose to be my support and help me through this and i feel like she is leaving me at a very important part of my life. she says i am being selfish and in reality i am but in a good way. im putting myself and my health first right now. I dont know how this will effect my surgery date and what i should do bc i dont know how i could handle recovery alone. i guess if i get someone lined up for the kids i will be ok.

So, I had my first appt with doctor smith and Dee, I have my folder and i got my instructions on obtaining clearances and im just about done! all i have to do is have my EGD done and my psych eval! im super excited and anxious... I started a blog and weight loss contest with my best friend so we will see how things go!

I turned in the last thing i needed yesterday to complete my application :) yay! it will be submitted thursday for approval (this is to see if the surgeon will take me as a patient) this office requires more than the average bariatric sur. does but i like it bc it makes you disciplined :) with that said i have support group tonight ;) i missed sat bc i honestly overslept. I will make that up this thurs ;) I must complete two support groups before i can schedule a date. Im working on dinking plenty of water and eating as if i alreadt had surgery... on a lower note, i went to the allergy doc and found out im allergic to treees grass dogs dust, and  other stuff :(  no wonder i cant ever breathe lol good thing, its NOT asthma attacks like my pcp thought. glad im getting help :)

so i call my cravings "the little green man on my shoulder"  lol. I always get to this point when im trying to overcome cravings... I am following a new healthly lifestyle and the green man wants to gnaw at me until i give in to just one taste of something rich. (btw im pre op still) i get to my breaking point and give in just one time and it turns into a severe backtrack... today im proud. Ive been at that point BUT I DID NOT GIVE IN! my gf gave in and wanted a blizzard, so i drove her, paid for it, and when she asked if iwanted some i said NO! lol one sugar free pudding has been my limit...  nothing more. so im proud of myself bc its been hard but this time i pushed through :)