- Username: cinaflower
- Location: LA, USA
- Member Since: 6/30/2011
- BMI: 37.9
- Post Op
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so slow, but 62 pounds gone! on April 4, 2012 7:15 am
My weight loss has been so slow the last three months. I know it's because I've just done whatever- not exercising regularly, not taking vitamins, not making sure I have extra protein-consistenly- I do all of it sometimes. Not doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm happy with what has happened so far, I really am. I can barely keep up with my clothes and size changes as it is. I just got all my old stuff out in 18s and I have so much! It's hard letting go of the bigger clothes but I have a friend who wants then who's going to try to lose weight, so at least I know where they're going. I think I may be a clothes hoarder! I cleared out almost an entire closet upstairs and have a full closet downstairs too AND plastic space bags and rubbermaid containers full of stuff! If I was going to be fat, I wanted to at least dress well- and wow- I don't need to shop anymore for myself until I'm in 14s!
I have a a check-up today and I just feel disappointed that my weight loss at this point won't be more impressive. I keep wanting to cancel but I'm making myself go and face the music.
I had to have my gallbladder out on March 2nd. I didn't even know I was having gallbladder attacks- it just hurt! So, I had a few attacks and went to the emergency room one day and finally found out my gallbladder is kaput and I had gallstones and it was time to get it out. The surgery was a breeze. I wasn't ever in pain, my little incisions healed quickly and a week later I was as good as ever. I had my gastric sleeve doc do the surgery. He's cool and I knew he'd be the best surgeon for the job that I knew. I should've asked to see my gallbladder and stones- but I was so out of it after, I don't know that it would've mattered.
Now, I don't need anymore surgeries for a very very very long time. THAT'S ENOUGH!
About 5 years ago I started running, a hobby that ended when I moved houses and sprained ankles and had a hysterectomy, etc. etc. BUT I still get a subcription of Runner's World although I haven't renewed in years! But I get it, and every month I get inspired to want to do it again. I have to start again. I loved to run. I wasn't good, I was so slow, but I loved pushing myself farther, faster, longer- I loved the time alone and making my body do something that I never thought I could do. Now, I'm 216 and I think it's time to start back up. I need to kick the lethargy that overtakes me, the sitting and doing nothing. I need to be proactive and active, I have to pick up some new habits and change my life. This surgery has changed my life for the better, but it could work miracles if I let it. I need to stop getting into my own way and let the good happen.
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55 pounds gone on December 27, 2011 8:39 am
I'm down 55 pounds, yay me!!!! I'm pretty flabby but I'm getting smaller so I have to accept whatever it looks like. I've been walking 3 miles with my friend when we can, but I had a horrid cold the last week and Christmas on top of that so we haven't gone in a week. I'm still losing depite it being Christmas time because I still can only eat what I can fit in this tiny stomach. I got a stomach virus for a couple of days and it was really horrible. It was unlike anything I'd experienced before when I had a "normal" stomach" the gas pressure in my stomach was unbearable- any time I ate anything- it was the worst pain I'd had, worse than post surgery pain. Crazy-
I've lost a lot of hair. LOTS. Every time I touch my hair- to wash it or fix it- handfuls come out- it's scary and I can tell when I tough my hair it's thinner but thank the lord that I have thick hair- because I would have bald patches otherwise. It's annoying more than anything- finding my hair all over my sweaters and shoulders and floor and countertops. I'm probably going to have to cut it differently because I can't imagine how it'll look when the rest starts growing back- I just hope it doesn't come back gray!
I was expecting to be smaller by this time this year but I'm glad it's gone slower- I don't have enough clothes for one thing- I had some smaller sizes but things don't fit the same or they're out of season. I bought a pair of skinny jeans at old navy- 18s yay! Well, last week someone told me my jeans were too big and that I needed to wear more fitted clothes to show off my new size. I don't want clingy- I still have a back roll and a tummy roll- and if pants are too tight a muffin roll too- so I need to work on that part. I haven't done any strength training or yoga or weights in a while- I need to incorporate that into my routine and tone up some.
I'm amazed and so thankful for this, 55 pounds gone- I couldn't pick up that much if it was in a bag- how did I carry that on my body and function?
Now- I can bend over to tie shoes, or shave my legs without grunting. I can walk farther and faster. I don't get in my own way, I feel lighter and bouncier. I can get into some 16s. I can do things around the house for longer periods of time- more stamina- sex is better- I feel better about myself for sure- feel sexier and more confident. I have 63 pounds to go to goal. I can do that by the summer. Could I possibly wear a bikini? That would be insane! I want to wear cute little flowery sundresses and flip flops all summer. And I want to run- I want to be able to run a mile by the summer. I want to embrace the freedom that I'm being allowed to enjoy by having this opportunity to change my life.
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losing on November 26, 2011 3:33 pm
The scale is finally moving a little. I broke into the 220s!!!! 228! I'm not really watching everything like I should- but no matter what I'm not eating like I used to- it's just impossible. Even if I eat crap it's only a little bit! I've been walking more- one week I walked 3 miles a day for 4 days- the holidays are messing up my momentum but I'll get back with it asap. I walk with my best friend who's 6 foot something and his legs are about as long as my body- so I've had to keep up with his skinny and fast self- I have to jog sometimes and it's not that bad- I can do it! I ate everything everyone else ate at Thanksgiving- just a little bit of it and I'm fine with that. We even went for a long walk after we awoke from our food comas.
Sorting through and keeping up with my clothes is a major issue- the weather shifts from hot to cold constantly down here and I have just sweaters and all kinds of stuff everywhere and I find I'm really reluctant to let go of my favorite clothes even though they really are too big. I did buy some skinny jeans in 18 at Old Navy and some exercise pants that I could live in last week. I have such nice things I should get rid of the less flattering and old stuff- but it's so hard-it's safe and it's hard to really truly believe I won't need it again.
I'm trying to learn to take compliments without thinking people are full of crap. Usually I say thank you and I'm pleased but some part of me is still wondering what their agenda is. My husband is the worst complimenter ever! He just keeps saying- you look so skinny- when it occurs to him that I look good- but it's so awkward. Sometimes I wonder how he got any action before me- and I actually used to call him Smooth as a nickname when we were dating, oh, young foolish love- smooth he is not! haha!
need motivation! on October 29, 2011 2:28 pm
I've been on a plateau but I'm finally starting to lose again- now at 234.4. I've been struggling staying on track and doing what I need to do- protein, fluid- I tell myself I'm doing okay- but I have no idea because I don't pay attention too much. I sporadically take my vitamins, I know I'm not eating too much- but that's mostly because I can't. My head hunger gets me and I eat things that I used to enjoy, things I tell myself would be FUN to eat- I really don't overdo it, but I DO it sometimes and I know I shouldn't be eating any sugary things. I made gumbo last Sunday and I really have been suffering ever since- I don't know if it was the fat or what- but I had horrible acid reflux, and gas that would kill a moose. OMG! Thank goodness the husband had his CPAP mask on the other night- it was so bad! I hurt my back this week so I've been a vegetable- when my back started getting better then it started into my legs and hips. I haven't been sleeping awesomely so my fibromyalgia is kicking my ass right now.
I need motivation. I need to remember why I went through the trouble to do this surgery. I need to capitalize on this opportunity to be the person I've always wanted to be and knew I could be. I'm struggling to stay focused and do what I need to do. I need to exercise and stop eating when I don't need to- just like before- but now I really don't even care about eating and I do it anyway. Not smart. I can do better- I thought it'd be easier- but is anything worth having really easy? I don't think so.
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237 on October 17, 2011 6:53 am
So, I've been around 237 for a couple of weeks. I don't know what it is exactly, but I'm not losing very easily now. Well, I do kind of know- I did start exercising last week but I haven't been on track with my eating- I eat mostly protein but I have nibbled on some sugary things lately. I haven't taken my vitamins every day, and I haven't had a protein shake/drink every day.
I'm estatic to be in the 230s! I'm in a bunch of old clothes and I even bought a couple of cute things- making sure they were on the small side so I could wear them longer-, I look better in my clothes, and I can fit this body in more places. In general I am more able to do what I need to do- like I can clean house or do what I want in the yard without feeling like I'm about to keel over- but my fibromyalgia is kicking butt right now. My upper body is so tight and sore and hurting. I've had so many issues and pains lately that I took off work today to rest. Right now I have this thing I bought that I heat up in the microwave draped around my shoulders or I would'nt be able to sit and type. Work sucks, it just does. This is the first year where I've just really been incapable of keeping up with all that needs to be done, I don't have any breaks. I have this new guy that just needs so much attention, he's precious but he has no attention span and he will not sit and do his work! He has accidents, he's tube fed- and he needs so much care that it is exhausting. He's really a cute and funny kid- it's not his fault that he's so much work and he deserves all that he can get, but it is hard- AND my colleagues this year are just not the nicest people- they're all telling on each other and me like a bunch of kindergarteners! It doesn't matter how great a job you're doing, some people can find something to complain about- and I have to learn to let it go- as long as the assistant principal doesn't listen- our principal has been out on medical leave and they never did that when she was there! Everyone is stressed, teachers are being asked to do more with less and kids have more problems with less support from parents- especially at our school for some reason. We barely have time to actually teach there's so much paperwork and meetings and stuff we're told we "have" to do. Yes, I'm letting it get to me and generally I'm so peaceful and okay with it all- I think I just want to focus on taking care of myself foronce- especially now that I have this opportunity to get healthy. I'm having a hard time taking care of myself.
Since I'm taking today off, I'm hoping I can mentally organize myself and refocus my energy in a positive way.
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My Story
I have been overweight or obese most of my life (except ages 1-10, and 13-18)- so all of my adult life, save some brief successful diets that didn't stick. I always ate too much and I didn't move enough, mostly- I have lots of excuses but I just didn't take care of myself first. I'm really into looking cute and clothes-but I guess I'd tell myself I deserved to eat what I wanted, and I'd tell myself I was still cute-just chunkier.
I work as a special ed teacher, have three kids, and a messy husband and we have historically not been the most active people, we'd rather go eat and watch a movie than go do something outdoorsy generally. When life would get hard my motivation to exercise or eat right would be the first thing to go.
Now I'm the biggest I've ever been: 275 pounds. My dad and step mom started talking to me about helping me do something. All my parents bribed me- 500$ for 10 pounds- couldn't do it- My sweet husband bought everything I asked him to- treadmills and weights and gym memberships and Zumba cds on and on- didn't work, or maybe just for a little while. I need something permanent to nip this in the bud. My health isn't so great anymore. I feel like crap. I can barely do what I need to do in a day let alone exercise or go have fun. I feel trapped in this body and it's time to turn it around and live the life I was supposed to be living all along.
My surgery is July 27, 2011. I start the pre-op diet tomorrow. I'm ready.
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