Cleopatra_Nik

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Having been a member of my gym for over a year now I can see that there is an ebb and flow of gym attendance. It is highest in January and I can hardly get a spot on any machine and my weight circuit takes twice as long as usual, if not longer. I call this the “New Year’s Resolution” rush. By about May the ones who were just there because of their resolutions have tapered off, leaving us old faithfuls and the new crop of committed souls.

 

This year it took longer to weed out the resolution people though. This week I went to the gym and FINALLY it was peaceful again. This got me to thinking about resolutions. I am a big believer in them, but not of New Year’s resolutions. They are often fueled by a sense of time urgency. It is as if saying, “I have wasted the past year. I only have X years left on this earth so I must make a new start tomorrow!” Which isn’t an altogether bad message. But I am all about attainable goals fueled by potential success, not past failures. New Year’s resolutions tend to be lofty and based on negative self-perception.

 

Instead, I personally go for “micro-resolutions” of various sorts. Like I am currently thinking about my fall resolutions which, as of right now, only include one thing—learning to make something edible from pumpkin flesh. But see how simple that is? Not “lose the last 30 lbs.” Not “quit smoking” (although I don’t smoke so that one would be easy!). Not get a new job or start a romantic relationship (the former I have no desire to do, the latter…I would not be mad if it happened…). Just learn how to roast a pumpkin and make something out of it.

 

Imagine if all resolutions were that simple. But they can be! It just requires some adjustment. When we have weight loss surgery we are not sprinting a short race, we are running a marathon. This is truly the rest of our lives. And you may get to goal and stay there or you can get to goal and bounce back up (or sink below) and have to readjust. So in my little opinion those lofty goals for us especially can be pitfalls.

 

So this week be it resolved that I challenge you to set some short term or “mini” resolutions. Ultimately these resolutions should feed into your overall goals but they have to be something you can realistically accomplish in the timeframe you set. If it seems too challenging, it’s too big to be a mini-resolution—come down a few notches. If it seems trivial, you aren’t thinking big enough.

 

Then watch your accomplishments pile up! It’s amazing how much the “packaging” of goals affects your ability to achieve them. And achieving goals is infectious. Once you’ve achieved one, you start to achieve others, which motivates you to aim bigger and bigger until your large scale goals are on the horizon!

 

You can do it. I know you can. Now get to it!

My VP at work often says this. I work in communcations for a Christian organization and I am constantly being reminded that I am not the audience. I am not the person who reads our organization's materials. I don't have the same goals, hopes, dreams and motivations as they do. Not because I'm not a good Christian (although that is often up for debate), but because I am in it. I'm too close to my subject material. Quite simply, when you are too close to something it's hard to tell the forest from the trees.

I contemplated this in relation to my post operative experience. I would venture to guess at least 97% of us suffer from some form of body dysmorphic disorder--we cannot see the changes in ourselves. And even when we do note some change, somehow we always seem to think we are too big. We look in the mirror and see our old selves.

This causes us to do strange things like beg off compliments or qualify them with things like "thanks, but I still have X pounds to lose" or "thanks, now once I get this skin off I'll look great..."

This week's message is simple--you are not the audience. You're not. You're in it. You're too close. You can't see what others see. So what is my point? When you come to the point when the scale doesn't move anymore or when it slows to a snail's pace...before you even venture to think poorly about yourself, remember you are not the audience. To your audience you are a phenomenal success. To your audience you are half the person you were before physically. To your audience you eat like a bird and you are energetic and exuberant.

I won't challenge you to see yourself as your audince sees you. Even I am figuring that one out. I will, however, challenge you to think about your audience when you are in a self defeating mood.

I think my daughter summed this feeling up best when she ran to me the other day and hugged me tight and said "it's so nice to be able to wrap my arms around you mommy!"