Hi everybody. Where do I begin when it comes to trying to explain why I am on this sight in the first place? Well, I guess I will tell you a little about myself. I am 50 years old. I am a wife to the best husband in the world. Thank God I was sent someone who has loved me in spite of the damage I have inflicted on my body. He has been by my side through good and bad. His name is John. I am mom to 2 beautiful daughters, ages 28 and 22, and Noni to 2 precious little boys who are the light of my life. I have not always been fat, although I always thought I was fat. I can see that now when I look back. I began trying to lose weight about 25 years ago during the times I thought I was fat. Thus began my journey of yo-yo diets and weight loss and gain. Of course, as the cliche goes, I would lose some, then gain more back. Now I am about 100 pounds more than I was when I gave birth to my last child. Yikes! How did that happen??? I ate too much, that's how it happened.

My rude awakening moment came in May of 2006 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 48. This came 18 months after my mother was diagnosed and I had been through all her surgeries and treatments with her. I was so scared for her and was her primary source of strength and help. She is a cancer survivor! Then came my turn. My daughters had to feel the way I had felt 18 months before. This was very distressing to me. I put on the most positive face I could conjure up and told everyone this was no big deal and it would soon be over. My husband was my strength. The surgery and treatments went very well. Then came the cancer drugs that I was supposed to take for the next 5 years. I became very ill very quickly. Every joint in my body hurt, became inflammed, and was swollen. It took changing medications 3 times for me to start to feel better. Unfortunatly, some damage had already been done to my joints. I now have osteoarthritis and full blown osteoporosis. I am down to bone on bone in parts of my knees. I am in constant pain. I had 6 surgeries in 2006.

Now if that doesn't sound like a bunch of whining I don't know what does! My point is that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am ready to take control of my life again. I am tired of seeing doctors. I am tired of blood draws. I am tired of IV sticks that they never get the first or second try. I am tired of not being able to go to the grocery store or WalMart. I am sooo tired of hurting. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!

I am going to lose this weight to help my chance of the cancer not recurring. I am going to lose this fat on my body to keep from dying of a heart attack or stroke. I am going to lose this fat so I can run and play with my grandsons. I am going to lose this weight so I can live a happy life again.

I can't wait to begin this journey and writing this has been very cathartic. Thank you for reading my story.

Mary