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Goals

get to be 145 LBS

1 Person
 in progress, 
0 People
 achieved this
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Surgeon Testimonial

Robert Marvin, M.D.
I meet my surgeon for the first time when I had to have an Endoscopey done. He was an absolute dream. He and his staff are great. I have a great belief that he was the doctor I should have choosen the fisrt time. He gave me all of the risk that are involed with having this surgery and the risks involed for me. I have had numerous other surgeries in the past and he just laid it on the line for me. I can not wait to get my surgery done on the nov. 18, 08.
Member Interests
  • Hobbies - Reading and spending time on my lap top
  • Pets - I have a baby cat named whiskey and Guinney
  • Parenting - I am a proud mother of two very wonderful Young Men
  • Music - give me counrty music and christian music anyday
  • Military - I support my Troops at all times, they are all Heros!!!
  • Christianity - I love to go to bible studies
  • Tattoo - I now have two tatts, and I will be getting more
  • Married - I will celebrate my 22st anv. next May
  • Body Piercings - my tongue, ears and nose are all peirced.
  • Airplanes - I need to learn to fly,LOL!!!
The journey of my soon to be new life.  You can take the ride with me or you can stay home...
   

 
cremationlady's Blog
cremationlady's Blog


almost there
on October 27, 2009 6:50 am

Well it has been a few months since my last post.  I am now down to 154 pounds.  I have had to buy some new jeans with in weeks of buying the last pairs I bought. At least I got them on the clearance rack. Only $9.00 a pair. But it still golls me.  I really do not like having to spend money all the time on clothing. The one thing that I do like to purchae though is new lacey bras and under clothing. It is an absession for me sometimes. But I guess I can chaulk this up to only ever wearing those huge granny panties. what a frag they are.My husband loves the new lace and such, and I love that he loves them.

I have so much lose skin that it sometimes grosses me out when I see it so I just tend not to look sometimes.  But I know that it is there and pray that one day I will get to have plastic to get rid of it and get those platic boobies to replace my tubesock boobies that I now have. 

I am still in school, but only have 4 weeks left. I have maintained my 4.0 GPA all the way through and have only missed a total of two days in the whole 9 months that I have been going. That was because of these blasted hernias that I have.  One I did not even know I had till I had lost so much weight. 

My PCP tells me that I am getting skinny and I just laugh at her.  I upon occassion see that really huge lady in the mirror, and everyone tells me I am insane to see it like that.  I guess we all go through that in this wild journey that we have undertaken.  Believe me I do not miss that old person. I love being able to keep up with my husband now days.  I can walk and not have to rest, I like to walk the malls and shops that we tend to go to now days. 

Oh one thing that is bothersome for me and I have just recently noticed because my friend noticed, is that men are looking at me. really looking at me and it is weird. Because I am deeply in love with my husband. And I know that he loves me also. Why he told me that lat night before I hit the hay for the night. Why is it that when I was fat they looked with disstain and now they gawk like I am a peice of meat for their dinner. It is so annoying.  I try to look nice all the time now, but this has me not wanting to look nice sometimes.
I dress with proper moral appropriateness, and I do it for myself not anyone else, so why do I feel so ashamed by these gawkers?  I like to think that they do not mean anything by it but now that I know that it is happening, I feel like someone who is going out looking for the attention and it is far from the truth.  I only want the attention from my honey, and I love it from him.

Anyways that is all for now.  If you happen to read my post I pray you enough. be blessed and happy.
Hugs, P

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Life changes!
on August 12, 2009 9:30 am
Well I am now having so many noticable life changing experiances.  I am still going to school and it is a great change that I undertook just a few short months after surgery.  I have been maintaining a 4.0 GPA along with my perfect attendance.  I am loving every minute of it and I have meet some really fabulous ladies.  I recently shared my before pictures with them and they were in total shock.  One of my lady friends says that I need to write a testamonial.  I kind of figure that I am what with the blog that I have on here and the one that I am keeping on my myspace page.  I am also looking into going to go and do the preresiqites for medical school.  My family is standing behind me 100 %.

My husband has become and obssed man with me lately. Not that he never was in the past.  He is just throwing so many compliments out there to me and it really makes my head swell at times.  I was able to get into my first pair of jeans recently and my youngest son said to me "Damn mom you look HOT!", it was the first pair that I have put on in 20+ yrs that did not have the dreaded elastic waist band.  And now I love to wear them.  I have also been getting some really lovely clothes lately.  I know that I may have to pass them on later, but they are making me feel like a million $$$.  My self esteem has grown by leaps and bounds.  I feel as if I can take on the world!!!

When I started this journey I weighed 300 pounds.  I had gotten to 287 on my surgery date. Today I am weighing in at 178.  This will be my 9 month aniversary and I am down a total of 122 pounds.  The lord has seen me through all of this and I am so thankful for his strong hands and arms to keep me strong through it all.  The only thing that has made me sick through it all is if I try to eat any carbs.  They just make me sick sick sick. So I stay away form them for the most part.  I do try every once in awhile to have them, but I end up sick and have to go to bed for a while so I just avoid them.

If you read this I hope that I am and inspiration to you and that you have the best life that you set for yourself and be safe and choose what is best for you. My choice was the RNY and I would never change a thing!!!

PAR
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I have finally arrived
on June 13, 2009 8:04 am
ok so I have not really been weighing myself lately, becasue I have been on a stall and I hate looking at a scale that does not move.  So anyway the other day I got on the scales at school. And I could not belive my eyes!!!! I had made it to below 200 pounds.  I was weighing in at 198.  I am going on 7 months out and I have lost a total of 102 pounds.  I was so excited that I told my whole class.  I don't care if the world knows that I had surgery, it is who I am and they can take it or leave it. Most of my friends and family are so stoked about what I have accomplished. 
I am now also going into my 5th month of college also, I am not beliveing at how fast it is going.  I will graduate in November, then back again in Febuary.  I want to accomplish so much with what I have started and I know that  I will with the grace of God with me. 
Anyway I just wanted to add that I have made the century mark for myself and that I am tooting my horn these days. 
Oh yea, going out to eat sucks big time I hate it.  with the exception of going and having fajittas...


P
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My spring break
on April 25, 2009 9:01 am
Well this has been a very quite spring break for me.  I had planned on going to see a friend down in Corpus Christy, but she has ben swamped with work.  So maybe when I get a summer break.  By then I should pretty much be to my goal weight.  I only have 63 more pounds to go and I will be there.  And I will be 6 months out on May 18th. 
I have been in college now for two months and both months I have made the presidents list.  My first semester I had made a 96 for my grade average and then this second month I had an average of a 98.  And I have perfect attendance both months.  I plan on making the presidents list every time.  I have also made big plans for my life.  I am not only going to be a insurance speacilaist, but I am also going to take the medical asst. courses.  Then when I am through with all of this and I have worked for a while to get some of these school bills paid I will put myself in school one more time to become an RN.  I figure that I am 42 right now and that by the time my 50th birthday gets here I wll have accomplished some goals in life.  Since I have started this life style change I figure I will make changes all around in my life.  My precious husband is behind me 100%.  He has even changed his work schedule to ensure that I am able to go to school.  And I know that he is also liking the fact that his wife has been changing before his very eyes.  I can say that most days I see the cahnges and then there are days were I don't. But it is all good.

I have also gotten a new baby since the last time I wrote on here.  I am a cat person and I have added one more to the mix.  He is a cutie.  I call him Guinney.  After the beer.  Of course my baby whiskey is not happy right now, but he is statring to get use to having to share his mama.  And I have more scares on my arms and legs that this little guy is giving me.  I hope that really soon he will not see me as a tree to climb, or something to grab ahold of when he starts to fall of of something and I am near by to grab.  But anyway it is all good.  

Oh yes I have to share and amazing thing that has happen to me this past weekend ( 4/19/09).  My bff from down the road called me and the honey and invited us to go to the Galvaston County Fair.  Well we went and had a blast with her and her honey.  Well the amazing things is that I was able to get on rides for the first time in 16 yrs.  I was so happy that I did not have to be asked to get off the ride because I to big for the bars to be locked for safety reasons.  I rode 3 rides and loved every spinning moment of it.  I screammed and laughed my tush off.  God has blessed me with a whole new life. 
Anyway that is all for now...


































































































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Just more about me!!!
on March 28, 2009 11:04 am
Well I am feeling so blessed these days.  I have finished my first semester of school and I have made the presidents list and have had perfect attendance.  That is going to look so good on my resume. 
I have made it to 221 pounds so far and I have about 66 pounds left to reach my goal weight.  I was almost shocked to see how much I have lost.  I still have this huge know that sticks out the front of my stomach and it really irritates me to no end.  It almost makes me look like I have not lost any.  But I will have it fixed when I have plastic after I reach goal.  I am losing my hair now and I know that it is because I am not getting enough protein.  I really try.  My doctor says that we do not have to do the protein shakes but I am trying something so that I can have the added protein in my diet.  I am also taking Biotin with all of my supplements.  I have been faithful taking all my supplements because I have had this surgery so that I can live and to not take the supplements is just plain suicide to me. 
I have gone and cut my hair so that I will look fresh and look nice for myself.  My husband says that I look real good and that is something from him because he is not a short hair kind of a man.  I got my hair cut like Kate Gosling.  Form Jon and Kate plus 8.  I love the hair cut that she has and it looks so cute when it is fixed.  I have fixed it everyday since I got it done.  I have even started to wear a little makeup lately.  It has just made me feel so good about myself.  Plus for some reason I just feel a little sexy when I am fixed up.  My husband has always noticed me but it is ever so more prominent now.  He has always been a sex driven man, but he is like a crazy man now.  I wish I could say that I was more sex driven, but I just haven't reach his plateau.  Maybe after I lose some more weight I will feel even more better about my self and not be so self conscious about myself and being naked even around my husband.  God Bless him he has put up with me for 21 years over this I hope that he will stay in there for the long run.  Oh yes he has even lost some poundage since we started my journey down the weight loss road.  He is down to what he was when he was in his 30's.  I am so proud of him.  My oldest son has even lost some weight.  It is all because we only have healthy stuff here in the house now days.  Well they still drink a soda each day but that is it. 
Anyway I just wanted to update my blog and let everyone know what has happen in my life so far.  will add more later on in the month...

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My Story


Ok so all I can start with is that I am like everyone else on here and have been morbidly obese since well forever.  In high school I was overweight.  I was a size sixteen, I thought that I looked good, but I guess that others thought it was not right to be big. 

So then I graduated and got married.  I've been married for 20 yrs this May 28th.  And I have two very handsome young men for sons.  Jack and Joshua.  Jack is my Hippie and Josh is my Marine.  Gotta love the differance.  There is no end to the political wars that goes on in this house hold.  LOL  But we all love each other.  That is what family is right?  

Well that is what I make of my family.  Growing up it did not happen that way.  My mother came from a very abusive family where her father molested everyone of his children.  Needless to say my mother was not the best of moms because she did not know how to be one.  There was a time when she even left my sister with that monster.  My sister was taken to live with someone else for a while but I was left for a time.  Needless to say you can probally guess what had happen.  But GF is dead and I cann't confront him with this.  My mother will never admit to any wrong doing in leaving my sister and me so what is the piont right...  
Because of a rough time growing up I have learned not so show any type of emotion or affection for anyone or anything.  It can cause you pain in the long run.  
This has been so hard for me because of my boys, I love them to death and would die for them but it is so hard for me to show them how much I really do care and love them.  This has also made to were I hate to be touched unless I give the permission for ya to touch me.  And then you will not get the chance fof it to be a very long time.  I will start to feel trapped and it bothers me to no end.  

So now that I think about all of this I guess this is part of the reason that I am a fat woman.  A rotten childhood and not loosing after the kids and eating because I had a stressedout life.  So now I want to get a new tool to help me loose and get healthy.  To get a new me and a new lease on life.  
I guess that what I need to do is get a PHYSCO to help me with the problems form childhood and keep asking God to help me not esent my mother for putting me in the sittuation that she left me in.  

So that is all for now.       ME