Hey everybody, Sorry it's been forever since I wrote.  Hope the Holidays were great for everyone.  Hope this new year approaching is a good one for all.  I've been stuck at 166 FOREVER.  In fact, at one time I did get to 160, so I guess I gained six pounds.  To me this is extremely scary,  I feel like I'm starting to fail.  I get to thinking I'm going get stuck here and even start to regain.  I'm not blaming the holidays because I know what I've done wrong.  I've caught myself grazing alot lately, which is a big no no for RNYer's.  I also haven't been motivated to excercise like I use to.  For some reason I feel like I'm getting so depressed like back before I had my surgery.  I know I shouldn't eat something but I still do it.  Maybe I'm trying to set myself up for failure.  I've done so good so far and now I feel scared that all my horrible habits are creeping up on me.   I need to get this under control NOW.  I'm so tired all the time,  I can just sleep my day and nights away.   I don't understand what is going on with me.   I was so motivated at one time,   I was so close to reaching goal of 140 but the scale isn't moving and in fact it went up six pounds.  Wow,  I need to get back on track fast.   I'm realizing how much of a food addiction I had and now it's all coming back to me.  At 7 months post -op I can eat anything and feel fine, this is another concern to me.  I know it's not too late,  six pounds creeping up is alot better that gaining back the whole 114 I've lost so far.  I just need to get motivated and figure out why I'm so tired all the time.  Take care everybody, wishing you all a Happy New Year.  -Crystal.

Sorry everybody I haven't blogged in so long.  WOW first off I need to say it again loud and clear THIS SURGERY WAS THE BEST PRESENT TO MYSELF!!!!  How great is life now?  Extremeley awesome!!!!!  So much has changed.  I've come up with a list of what I love since surgery and what I don't miss from my old never going there Again days. 




THINGS I LOVE NOW 
1. going shopping
also a tie breaker for #1 spot-  Having better SEX NOW!!!


2. Riding bike
3. Taking walks
4. Even though I'm a taken married women, getting checked again and noticed is nice
5.  I love being freezing cold all the time as opposed to nasty sweaty hot all the time
6. Trying on clothes in department stores
7. Getting dressed up for special occasions
9. Wearing high heels
10.  Waking up with energy
11.  Having people every single day tell me how wonderful I look , and they actually mean it
12.  Fitting in the booths at all restaurants
13. Driving without my belly hitting the stirring wheel
14.  Going anywhere and know I'm not the fattest person in the place
15. Love that my daughter and everyone else can wrap their arms around me when they hold/hug me
16.  Love my insecurities are about 75% percent gone
17. Love having pictures taken now
Gosh, I can go on and on all night if I sat here and thought about everything that has been so wonderful or changed since I've lost weight.   I guess You all get my point.  I know all of you are also experiencing this wonderful sureal feeling also.  IT's GREAT!!!! And for all of u getting ready to have surgery I wish u all well and a safe, happy, speedy recovery. 


AS of today September 10th, 2009 I'm down 91 lbs.  I weigh 183, started at 274.  I have 43 more to go to get to goal of 140!!!!  This is so amazing.  I'm only 4 1/2 months post-op.



What I don't miss from being 274 pounds
1.feeling like I'm fattest/ ugliest person in room
2. people starring with those judgemental eyes when I ate or was out shopping
3. buying clothes and taking them home to find out I need to return them because they were too small
4.Feeling hot and sweaty all the time
5.  Out of breath
6. Tired
7. Hated wearing dresses
8.  Hated getting dressed up for special occasions
9.  Hated how some people wouldn't even acknowledge me or make eye contact with me
10.  Being told "you have a pretty face"  this was the only thing nice people tried to say to me to feel better.
11. Wearing big old ugly granny panties
12. Hated looking at myself in the mirror daily, with and without clothes, didn't matter.
13.Hated going to restaurants and had to ask for table instead of booth cuz i knew I couldn't fit
14. Driving with my belly hitting stirring wheel
15.  My daughter not being able to wrap her arms around me to give a hug
16. My legs rubbing together causing rashes.
17.  Hated any pictures taking of myself
Same thing, I could think of so much but this part of me is going to be a memory only.  I will do my damnest to not get heavy again.  I will have to look back and remember how much I hated my life then.   I enjoy how much I have to look forward to from now on.

Wow, I'm wide awake this morning.   Trying to figure out what I should go and do today.   I do work tonight, but I have the whole day ahead of me.  Today is my 28th birthday, and yesterday I celebrated my 3 year wedding anniversary.   My hubby and I had a nice dinner at red lobster then we watched the new movie The Proposal.  It was such a good movie.  It's funny cuz in a month him and I have to do a similiar interigation interview thing at the immigration office also so he can get his green card.    We so related to the movie.  I'm feeling better than I have in years.  Tomorrow I have my three month checkup with surgeon.  I'm gonna tell him he gave me the best birthday present ever.   I had a HUGE wow moment the other day.   My hubby, little girl and I are going to our friends wedding this weekend.  We had to go shopping for all our wedding attire.  I went into dressbarn and got to shop in the misses sizes and not the other side that had plus.  I bought the cutest fancy dress that was a size 15-16.    I'm definetly going to take some pictures that day.  I can't believe that I got to buy a dress smaller than when I went to my high school prom.  I think that dress was an 18-20.  This dress is fancy like a prom dress so I feel like a teenager all over again, I can't wait to get it on and go to this wedding.  I bought the little black high heels to go with it also.    I also have to celebrate that I did make it to onederland a couple days ago.  I officially weight 198.  So I'm not in the 200's again and I hope I never ever see those numbers again on the scale.  Another WOW moment, geez I'm full of them this morning.  My parents got me a brand new mountain bike for my birthday.  I haven't rode a bike in years.   They surprised me yesterday and told me and hubby to stop by, there was the new bike sittin out in the yard waiting for me.  I rode it a couple of laps around my parents neighborhood.  I was alittle shacky cuz its been years.   I now have a bike I can ride for excercise.  I plan on trying one of these days to ride it to the hospital where I work instead of driving.  I live about 3 miles away from my job.  I better do it soon cuz in wyoming it will start snowing here in a few months. Like in October so I have a good two-three months to try and get myself into riding to work instead of driving.     Wow,  I'm so happy,  I haven't felt so happy and full of life in so long.  We all deserve to live our lives to the fullest and the weight is what set us all back.  It's time to get out there and enjoy each day to the fullest.   To everyone whos had surgery you know what I'm talking about, for people getting ready to start their journeys I tell you this is the smartest thing u can do for yourself to get your life finally back.   Take care everybody-Crystal