Connie C.
Reflecting at 1 1/2 years out 11/2/09
Nov 06, 2009
I have a half hour drive to and from work each day, and I usually use that time for thinking about what my day ahead holds and destressing from what my day actually held. Today I found myself reflecting on my WLS journey. Although I'm 1 year 7 months out from the RNY surgery itself (as of November 7th), I'm actually 2 years 2 months from the beginning of my journey. That is when I attended the mandatory seminar put on by my surgeon's office. Since then it's been one heck of a ride!
After jumping through all the hoops required by my surgeon and my insurance company, I had my RNY on April 7, 2008. I went into surgery scared I wouldn't come out alive, afraid I was making the biggest mistake of life, with my mother sitting beside me fearing the exact same things. The fact that I'm sitting here typing this is proof that at least one of those fears did not come true (I made it out alive!). The best news of all is that the other fear didn't come true, either. Not only was this NOT the biggest mistake of my life, it was the BEST decision of my life (so far).
Is life perfect? Sillly question. Nothing's perfect. I have my ups and downs like everyone else. I have days I'm the model post-op bypass surgery eater, and days like I had this past weekend, where it seems I never had the surgery at all and couldn't care less about eating according to the rules. Fortunately, more days are like the former than the latter.
I am currently down about 180 pounds (depending on the day) from my highest pre-RNY weight of 366 pounds. This is not what I weighed on the day of surgery, however, so my surgeon doesn't recognize the total weight loss. I, however, know without reservation that without WLS I would currently weigh at LEAST 366 pounds and most likely more. I had lost about 80 pounds on my own in another futile attempt to lose the weight the "right way" before I gave up and made the decision to investigate WLS. When I attended my mandatory seminar I had gained back about 40 of the 80 pounds I had lost. The same old cycle was repeating itself. Prior weight-loss experiences told me I was well on my way to 400 pounds after this loss. I always gained back about twice what I had lost. So, yes, I count every pound I'm down from 366 as being due to my WLS.
I think I've done well. Do I follow all the rules? (See the question about being perfect above!) Heck, no. Do I try to follow the rules as best I can? Yes. My first thought when I consider eating anything is, "Does this have protein?" If it doesn't, I may still eat it, but I try to make my daily eating balanced according to what my NUT says I should eat. I don't do protein shakes - couldn't ever stand the taste, no matter how many different types I tried. When I was immediately post-op and HAD to have supplements, I gagged down the Isopure clear drinks in the bottles. As soon as I could get in enough food to meet my protein goals, I abandoned the supplements (with my NUT's blessings). Do I meet my protein goals every day? Probably not, but I'm sure I come close most days.
A big part of my self-reflection today was about the snacking that is creeping back into my lifestyle. Why, given all I've been through, given what I know about my eating habits and the need to make permanent changes to make my weight loss permanent, do I still fall prey to the snacking urge? After dinner is still a difficult time for me. I don't snack on sweets, because I do dump (thank you, WLS God!), but I snack on nuts, trailmix, crackers, ricotta fluff, cheese - to name a few. Even though some of these can be healthy and do contain protein, too much is still too much. Crackers have been a real problem lately. I'm craving the carbs and the carbs don't do me well. Whenever I eat too many carbs, the weight immediately begins to crawl back on. Granted, it's only a couple of pounds and then I usually lose it again, but it scares me. I need to lick the carb-monster once and for all. As Eggface says in her blog, you can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results. It's the definition of insanity!
As I was preparing for my surgery, I spent many nights on OH reading every post I could to find answers and inspiration. I promised myself I would continue to share my journey to help anyone else looking for the same. I hope some of this rambling is helpful to others on the same journey. Onward we march - one day at a time!
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After jumping through all the hoops required by my surgeon and my insurance company, I had my RNY on April 7, 2008. I went into surgery scared I wouldn't come out alive, afraid I was making the biggest mistake of life, with my mother sitting beside me fearing the exact same things. The fact that I'm sitting here typing this is proof that at least one of those fears did not come true (I made it out alive!). The best news of all is that the other fear didn't come true, either. Not only was this NOT the biggest mistake of my life, it was the BEST decision of my life (so far).
Is life perfect? Sillly question. Nothing's perfect. I have my ups and downs like everyone else. I have days I'm the model post-op bypass surgery eater, and days like I had this past weekend, where it seems I never had the surgery at all and couldn't care less about eating according to the rules. Fortunately, more days are like the former than the latter.
I am currently down about 180 pounds (depending on the day) from my highest pre-RNY weight of 366 pounds. This is not what I weighed on the day of surgery, however, so my surgeon doesn't recognize the total weight loss. I, however, know without reservation that without WLS I would currently weigh at LEAST 366 pounds and most likely more. I had lost about 80 pounds on my own in another futile attempt to lose the weight the "right way" before I gave up and made the decision to investigate WLS. When I attended my mandatory seminar I had gained back about 40 of the 80 pounds I had lost. The same old cycle was repeating itself. Prior weight-loss experiences told me I was well on my way to 400 pounds after this loss. I always gained back about twice what I had lost. So, yes, I count every pound I'm down from 366 as being due to my WLS.
I think I've done well. Do I follow all the rules? (See the question about being perfect above!) Heck, no. Do I try to follow the rules as best I can? Yes. My first thought when I consider eating anything is, "Does this have protein?" If it doesn't, I may still eat it, but I try to make my daily eating balanced according to what my NUT says I should eat. I don't do protein shakes - couldn't ever stand the taste, no matter how many different types I tried. When I was immediately post-op and HAD to have supplements, I gagged down the Isopure clear drinks in the bottles. As soon as I could get in enough food to meet my protein goals, I abandoned the supplements (with my NUT's blessings). Do I meet my protein goals every day? Probably not, but I'm sure I come close most days.
A big part of my self-reflection today was about the snacking that is creeping back into my lifestyle. Why, given all I've been through, given what I know about my eating habits and the need to make permanent changes to make my weight loss permanent, do I still fall prey to the snacking urge? After dinner is still a difficult time for me. I don't snack on sweets, because I do dump (thank you, WLS God!), but I snack on nuts, trailmix, crackers, ricotta fluff, cheese - to name a few. Even though some of these can be healthy and do contain protein, too much is still too much. Crackers have been a real problem lately. I'm craving the carbs and the carbs don't do me well. Whenever I eat too many carbs, the weight immediately begins to crawl back on. Granted, it's only a couple of pounds and then I usually lose it again, but it scares me. I need to lick the carb-monster once and for all. As Eggface says in her blog, you can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results. It's the definition of insanity!
As I was preparing for my surgery, I spent many nights on OH reading every post I could to find answers and inspiration. I promised myself I would continue to share my journey to help anyone else looking for the same. I hope some of this rambling is helpful to others on the same journey. Onward we march - one day at a time!
About Me
Clinton, ME
Location
35.7
BMI
Surgery
04/07/2008
Surgery Date
Oct 20, 2007
Member Since
