Connie C.

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Now that I'm 1 year 7 months out, I've done a lot of reflecting. I posted a long reflection on the journey itself a month or so ago (it's also on my OH page). Lately, I've found myself wondering when the thinner me will begin to feel like my new "normal." When will I look in the mirror and not be surprised by the person looking back at me? When will I not take clothing in the (new) right size, and the next two sizes up (just in case) into the fitting room? When will I enter a public place and not fear that I won't fit into the chairs? When will I actually dare to try to sit in a booth at a restaurant?
     For 19 months now, almost every thought I've had has been prefaced by "since I had surgery." Don't get me wrong - I don't mind these thoughts. The surgery was worth every hoop I had to jump through for approval, every chewable multivitamin I've had to swallow, every piece of candy I've had to pass up - and every thought of "since I had surgery" that I've thought. I was just starting to wonder if that would be something I would do for the rest of my life.
     Last week something happened that made it very clear that I have entered the realm of the new "normal." I came home from work and my mother couldn't wait to tell me something that had happened that day. She had decided to watch a video of her partner's 65th birthday party from about 12 years ago. She didn't recognize someone in the video and had to ask her partner, "Who is that big woman?"  I guess when your own mother doesn't recognize the old you, the new you is your new normal! Is there a restaurant booth around here I can try?

Connie