Today I decided to get back online and find support and accountability.  I have lost and maintained over 60 pounds weight loss since my wls journey has begun.  Since the holidays back in December, I have gained 5 pounds which I have yo-yoed up and down with.  I lost down to 169 at my lowest weight and had maintained on average between 170-175 for almost two years.  After Christmas, my weight had gone up to 177.  So I started trying to cut down on the eating and got back down to 175 but then have since yo-yoed back up between 175-180 so I have decided I can't let this go on any more so I've decided to become accountable once again on this site and start tracking my foods and conversing and trying to seek support here.  We shall see where I go from here.

I'm almost a full year from my surgery date and I thought I would update my blog and let you know where things stand.  I've been working out 5 days a week since January of this year so I'm stronger and in better cardio shape than I've ever been in my life.  I've gained 2 pounds of lean weight since starting to exercise and have been told by the lady at the hospital where I work out that to be 22% bodyweight I would need to set my goal at 156.5 if I do not gain any more muscle weight.  I am currently at 170 pounds which would make me needing to lose 13.5 more pounds.  I probably have at least 8-10 pounds of lose skin hanging on me so I also have to compensate for those pounds in considering what I should weigh.  So now that I'm almost a year out, I am going to start looking into the plastic surgery area to start my search for a surgeon.  I am needing to have at least a tummy tuck, but I really need a total lower body lift as well as a thigh lift, an arm lift and also a breast lift.  I also have a spare tire around my middle that does nothing but shake.  It is like wearing  pants that are too big and they just move up and down as you wear them but never quite fall down or off.  I will be glad to have my body finally look to match all the work I've done over the past year. 

I cannot even say how glad I am that I made this decision to have this life-changing surgery. I finally feel like that broken part that I have had all my life is finally fixed and I have the tools I need now to maintain a "normal" weight.  I am finally feeling like I don't look fat all the time.  I do have days that I struggle with my body image, especially when the loose skin shakes, rattles and rolls more than usual.  I would still do it all over again in a heartbeat.  I have no regrets.

It's the end of February and I thought I would put my thoughts down on paper.  I looked at my weight graph today and saw a huge shift in the way I had been losing weight right during the Christmas holidays.  I asked myself what happened and why the huge shift in the way I am losing weight.  The only thing it can be is adding too many carbs and simple sugars to my diet.  I really don't think I'm eating that much more but I think I will pull out the tracker and start tracking every bite that goes into my mouth.  I have a palm pilot and also a nutrition program that I can load onto it so I am going to try to get that going and track my calories (every bite) and try to really cut back on the carbs and sugars and see if it shifts me back into high gear so I can get the last remaining 19 pounds off.  The weight is still coming off, don't get me wrong, it's just that I only lose about a pound or 2 a month instead of 6-10 pounds like I was.  Maybe this is normal, but I think I could be doing better.  I'll get back with you in a month or two and see if first I figured out how to use that blasted pilot and get the nutrition program loaded onto it and then I'll see if I can stop myself from having too many "treats" and get back to the basics and get the final weight off. 

I have started to exercise big-time after the hoidays and maybe I am eating more thinking that the exercise is compensating but obviously after looking at my weight tracker and seeing that graph today was a very visual reminder of my shift in eating during the holidays and how I haven't completely cleaned up my eating since then.  I  am trying not to beat myself up about this because this is my past history when I get off track so I am also trying to change my thinking patterns as well.  I know my thoughts (before weight loss surgery) have been very unhealthy and have been very self sabotaging to my weight loss efforts.  My body has changed tremendously since I started this journey.  I was wearing an 18-20 and now I'm down to a size 12 so I am not unhappy. I am very pleased with my consistent exercise and I can see tone returning to my body.  I was beginning to doubt if that would happen.  There is still sag going on with my skin but I am happy with how I look in clothes most of the time.  I will most likely need to have a tummy tuck at the end of the weight loss phase to look completely right in clothes.  If I became obsessed with that, I would have a thigh lift and butt lift and arm lift as well.  Those are all areas that are sagging, just not as badly as the stomach. 

Well that's enough blabbing for today so I am going to get started with my day. My youngest granddaughter will be in a pagent today. She will be 3 on April 1st.  Never been to a beauty pagent today - don't know if I'm going to like this.  I don't think you should judge beauty.  I think that is a very individual thing.  To me pretty is  - is pretty does.  A "beautiful" person can be so "ugly" that it ruins the outer beauty for me.  Just pretty outside does not make a pretty person.

Just got back from a few days in the Hill Country.  Hubby and I went camping with his brother and wife and we had an awesome time.  I don't remember the last time I went there and felt great the whole time and was able to do all the things I wanted to do and not get tired.  Campfires at night and shopping by day, what better things are there? Well, its been 4 months sinc my surgry and I have finally made it to 50 pounds gone.  I was wondering about a month ago if I had come to the end of my losing, but I've lost 10 pounds this month so things are finally moving again.  It is so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I can eat what I want and am able to eat a little and then say, "I'm so full I can't eat another bite."  I've heard other people say that in the past and had no clue what they meant.  I've seldom felt really full!  Now I experience that feeling every day.  I feel like something that has been broken all these years has finally been fixed.  Looking forward to the holidays and being able to bake desserts and not eat a lot.  It's awesome. 

It's October I just love the fall.  It's my favorite season of the year.  I always feel very energized and want to clean the house and make everything look new and clean.  I love the crisp cool weather and it renews me after the long hot summer in Texas.  I'm approaching my 3 month anniversary for my surgery.  As of today I've lost 43 pounds and the last 3 have been while on vacation.  I've been to Disney World, Destin Beach, Florida, eaten ice cream 3 or 4 times (sometimes just a couple bites) and now I'm at Hilton Head Island, South Carolina and the weight is coming off still.  I am hoping to be in the 180's by the time we make it home before the end of the month.  I've really been able to pick up on my physical activity.  I've taken a 2 hour bike ride yesterday along the beach and through the town of Hilton Head.  I wouldn't have been able to sit on a bike that long before my vsg.  I thank God for the tool that has been given for us who struggle with this lifelong battle.  God is so good.  My husband has been so supportive and has split plates when out to eat and we've also saved lots of money along the way.  Hey, another upside to this surgery.  I keep telling him as I buy new things that I only buy on sale so I'm saving him money, well eating out and sharing plates is another way I'm saving him money.  I know I am saving my life and my lifespan while doing this as well.  Life is wonderful and I am going to try to do all I can to hang around as long as possible.  Got lots of things to do yet and lots of places to see.  Now my next goal is to start weight lifting to tone up this flab that seems to be hanging more and more every day.  I know I've also probably got a few dates with a plastic surgeon to get rid of some of this skin that is just hanging.