ObesityHelp

Well its the end of August and I just weighed myself and I down to 266 lbs.    Im excited but I promised myself I wouldn celebrate until 260 lbs when I have lost my first 100lbs.  My goal is to be there by the end of september and being only 6 pounds away makes it seem like a reality.  Im still feeling really tired and finding it hard to eat in general.  Im not getting my protein and my pottasium is still low.  Im still suffering from bouts of my hands seizing up like a claw and not being able to move them.  I just want to feel better.  Im not excercising but I am getting things done around the house.  Im back to cooking and baking but it sucks to not really be able to enjoy it.  The financial advantages of making everything from scratch not to mention to health advantages to my family
keep me going though.

I just never thought that food and eating would ever be a chore but it is.  It is all so weird

I finished my post on thursday and my daughter called and she was in labor.  I was the only one available to drive her to the hospital so I was bad.  We almost didnt make it lol.  She was the almost born in my car.  I didnt even get to be in the room because there wasnt time.  It was a whirl wind couple of days.

 I didnt take very good care of myself and Im paying for it today.  Im sick.   It was amazing and sooooo worth it though.

74 lbs. today!!!!!!

I stepped on the scale today and was so happy to see my weight at 289 lbs.  I dont know why but my happiness turned into panic.  Stupid I know.  I guess Im feeling guilty for not exrcercising more the last two weeks.  Ive lost 20 pound since  surgery but is that good?  I dont know,  I have been reading blogs on here today trying to see how others did at two weeks.  I think trying to make myself feel better.  I dont know why but Im feeling emotionally really down today.

On the plus side my pain is finally better today and I havent had to take anything.  I think Im going to try and catch up on some housework and actually make dinner.  My kids have been eating processed foods for the last two weeks.  They loveit but I have horrible guilt.  I have been making everything from scratch for the last six months including  our bread.  It has saved us alot of money on groceries.  I want to get back on it.

I want to go for a walk to but my husband has an interview today and work so he wont have time to go with me.  Im retarded and cant leave the house without him.  I dont want to get into that right now maybe later.

My daughter is pregnant and is having pain today.  Maybe I will be bad and drive today and make her walk with me.  I know Im not supposed to but I want out of the house.  Besides she needs to get that baby moving on out.  She is due in 6 days and I cant wait to be a grandma.  More later.

Tomarrow will be 2 weeks after surgery and besides the tight suture I feel great.  My stomache seams to be holding on to anything I put in it.  Beans in different ways seams to be the best food choice for me and of course the strawberry jello.  Im eating about 1/3 cup wich I think is ok.  Im getting in at least 50 ounces of water wich isnt perfect but an increase from last week.  I'm disapointed in not being able to walk like I wanted but the suture still hurts so bad.  I cant really complain because I havent had horrible nausa and no vomiting since right after surgery.

I chose not to tell anyone but close family and friends I was having surgery.  I just didnt want to hear all the crap from people about making the surgery choice.  It makes victories a little less fun though.  When I finally dropped from the 300's into the 200's I wanted to scream it from the roof tops but it was a quiet celebration.  I stepped on the scale tonight and Im 290 lbs. it feels so good to see the numbers keep dropping.  I started trying to loose weight in september, at 360 lbs. and finally after really struggling with loosing the weight I decided to start the surgery process in december.  I didnt take that decsion lightly and still feel now it was the right one.  I was at 254 lbs after christmas and felt really hopeless about loosing the weight on my own.  Now I feel that its possible to be myself again.

I have lost 70lbs. since I decided that the time is right and Im hoping to make it a hundred by Thanksgiving but we will just have to see.  I really want to see 160 lbs by the the time September 2012.