Surgeon TestimonialHenry Buchwald M.D., Ph.D.He is one of the best in the country for bariatric surgery...among the top in his field and for good reason. He knows his stuff, is confident, clear, concise and professional. He is also big into research on obesity and seems to have a passion for it as he's made it his life's work for the past 50 years. Not only is he a gifted surgeon, but he obviously cares a great deal for morbidly obese people and desires to help us rather than just making bariatric patients a great way to line his pockets some surgeons do since the prevalence of WLS in this country has begun to increase. He has been there from the beginning. He does only open procedures, and closes each with the skill and patience of a plastic surgeon. Dr. B tells you directly about each of the types surgeries he does and gives you the pros/cons, but leaves it up to the patient to decide the operation of their choice as he says, it's yours to live with the rest of your life. He is very clear about the risks, but also tells you all that he will do to make the surgery the very best possible outcome for you. He is busy, and only spends a few minutes with you, but when I had questions he eagerly answered them and didn't make me feel like I was dumb or wasting his time. When I expressed tears of joy over learning that he would do my surgery (I had feared that I was going to be considered too big for surgery), he grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes and with his slight accent said, "Big people is what I do." It was then that I just knew I was in the right place.
His office staff, at the time of scheduling the appointment were curteous and answered my questions. Upon arriving for the appointment at the clinic, it seemed that the office was a little short handed or rushed, and the gentlemen who eventually helped me left me standing at the check-in window for quite a while. However, he was sufficiently pleasant (not overly friendly), but got the job done.
The gals who ran the seminar, the dietician and one other lady who I'm not sure what she does...but she works for the bariatric surgeons at the clinic and has had the surgery herself, were good. The seminar was in a way a bit bland and kind of a waste of time, until Dr. B arrived and spoke with us. The dietician basically read through the handouts and then took quesitons. The other gal who had the surgery (the RNY) was pretty open with everyone about her procedure, but in my opinion she also seemed a bit skewed toward pushing her procedure on the audience.
The other dietician and nurse who saw me after I checked in were both friendly and kind. They were very professional and answered my questions very well.
After seeing Dr. B and having him tell me that he would do my procedure, he gave me a card and told me to call Donnette (his assistant). She seems very busy, but very knowledgeable and helpful so far. I'm trusting in her to get my insurance pushed through and approved so I can get on Dr. B's schedule hopefully this summer. Member Interests
- Writing - I enjoy technical writing and also desire to write a book some day
- Needlework, Knitting & Crocheting - I like cross-stitch; I've made two quilts after cross-stitching quilt blocks
- Quilting - I make star quilts which are an important part of modern Dakota culture
- Parenting - I have a preschooler, which is awesome and challenging
- Singing - It's therapeutic for me...love singing...always have
- Scrapbooks - I enjoy this, but don't do it often enough...boy am I behind!
- Sewing - I've been sewing since age 12
- Native American - I'm proud to be Dakota (Sioux)
- BMI over 50 - My BMI is probably the highest or one of the highest here
- Lymphedema - Stage II Primary Lymphedema (Praecox, in both legs)
Latest Surgery Support Comments
 Comment by goodkel on 5/2/08 10:54 am
-
Happy Birthday
LOSER!!!!!
Yippeeeee!!!! What a
great present you
have given yourself
honey!!!! I'm
breathing a sigh of
relief now that you
are off the
ventilator!!!! I'm
glad Ava got to come
see you on your
birthday too!!!! I
can't wait to see
you posting on your
own and to hear all
about your journey
to the loser's
bench!!!! I'm so
very excited for you
honey!!!!
big hugs and much
love, Becky
-
Desiree, my prayers
are with you for a
textbook smooth
surgery and a quick
and painless
recovery. You've
started the rest of
your life, now!
I'll be watching for
updates.
Love
Dennie
Click here for the surgery support page
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I'm 35 & been obese most of my life. After years of diets, losing/regaining many pounds & becoming disabled & developing Type II Diabetes, Hypertension, Acid Reflux, Primary Lymphedema, Depression, & Sleep Apnea, I opted to have the Duodenal Switch on 09/18/07. I am hoping that this will help me get my life back.
7 month Surgiversary - Short Update on April 18, 2008 5:47 pm
Today is my 7 month surgiversary. I weighed at my PCP office this afternoon and have lost another 5 pounds for the month. As you might recall I dropped 15 pounds early this month. Then the scale did not move for the rest of the month until the last couple of days (I started my period so that must have helped), so I'm so happy to have lost 20 lbs. this month!
As of today:
<>I have lost 158.5 pounds since surgery (45.1% of my EW)
<>I have lost 207 total pounds since beginning my journey
<>At only 5 feet "tall" my BMI has gone from 110.1 to 69.7
<>I've gone from a 6X top to 3X, from 7X pants to 4X.
<>Shoes fit better (I can actually get into something other than Birkenstock sandles)
<>I'm wearing rings that I wore at my lowest adult weight (245 lbs. about 13 years ago); I'm not sure why this is possible now, but I thought that was neat
I know I'm still a big girl, but I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel like for the first time in my life I have a fighting chance to actually get below 200 pounds. I love love love my DS!
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One woman's big whoop is another's big WOW! on March 3, 2008 8:23 pm
Yeah---it's me again! I know I've been sharing a bunch lately. I guess it's just that I finally feel like I am seeing some results and reaping the benefits of my DS. I think the first few months I was so wrapped up in feeling crappy and dealing with the wound vac to notice much, and then month five hits and BAM! I start to see a change. So I shout from the rooftops....I LOVE MY DS! Here's what I was able to do today because of my DS.
WOW #1: I went grocery/household stuff shopping today. I walked all over Walmart for 2 hours!!! I was dying by the time I was standing in line waiting to check-out, but I was so proud of myself. I have not been grocery shopping since 2004, and the last time I went into a Walmart to shop was September 9, 2005 (the day before my daughter's first birthday), and back then I couldn't even finish shopping cuz I was in too much pain and had to go sit my big @$$ down.
WOW #2: I actually went inside a restaurant, sat down and had a meal. I have not eaten inside a restaurant in years (I can't remember the last time, but it was at least sometime before 2005). Funny thing is I had been craving Mexican food, but I forgot that I can't eat much anymore. I ate one of my beef flautas, a few chips with salsa, a couple bites of beans and rice and I was FULL! I could have saved money and just shared my daughter's child's plate which had plenty of chicken burrito and sides to accomodate us both. Next time I know better.
So, these big WOWs for me may be another person's big whoop, but to me these are triumphs. They are evidence of the power that the DS has to break down the walls and chains that have imprisoned this SMO woman for too long.
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I went to Minnesota and came back with "new" boobies! on March 1, 2008 4:05 pm
Well we finally made it home around 7:30 lastnight. We left Minneapolis about 11:30 am Thursday, and got sidetracked with some shopping at the outlet center in Medford (off I-35). Some might say that is where any good adventure begins, but for me I have to say that I have not been physically able to walk around a store to shop for anything since September 9, 2005 (the day before my now 3 year old's FIRST birthday). I suggested we go ahead and stop so my sister could see if there was anything there for herself. After shopping at some of the other stores (I stayed in the van as per usual) my sister decided she wanted to go check out Lane Bryant. This time I decided that I would go in and check things out even though I saw that they only carried up to a size 28.
Upon stepping in the door I see the Balconette display. I've read what Val Groce and others have said about the bra and was curious, so I looked for the largest size on the rack and found only one size 46D in black. I decided I'd give it a try. Next I went back to the 50% off the clearance price rack, and saw a very small section of size 26/28 tops. I picked up a red long sleeved v-neck t-shirt, a night gown, and a pair of loungewear shorts. Both sis and I go into our rooms to try things on. That's when I see my first full length view of myself since I've started losing weight and I realize my clothes are too big and I look like a bit of a bag lady. Anyhow, I put on the bra and OMG......it fits! Not only that, but it is so comfortable......and my saggy baggy boobies are now standing at attention and beautifully shaped! Next I pull on the red top and....it fits too! I'm in shock and I tell my sis she has to see this, so I step out and show her. She is stunned and remarks at how much smaller my waist looks. Funny what clothes that actually fit can do huh? My sister likes what the Balconette has done for me, so she gets one too. We pay and leave.
DS surgery (plus extra hospital stay and wound vac): $125,000+
Red Top: $7.50
Balconette Bra: $19.00
New Perky Boobies: Priceless!
So....it gets better. My sis decides to go in one more store, and I stay in the car. For some reason I start checking out my new bra and I notice that the tag says the Balconette only goes up to a 44 in the various cups sizes, and I'm thinking well then how did I just buy a 46D?? Well I look at the tag inside the bra and discover it is really a 44D (not a 46 D---that was just what the hanger said). Needless to say, I went back to LB and got another 44D Balconette in the beige color too. For about $60 I got 2 Balconettes, 1 night gown, 1 pair of lounge shorts, and the red top.
Now keep in mind my sister has always been way smaller than me, but lately she has packed on some weight and is now wearing a 22/24. Add to that---I have still been wearing my 5X-6X clothes and a 56 B-C-D cup sport bra. The bra she just bought is a 40DD. That just blows my mind that I'm within spitting distance of being her size (at least up top)!
Okay, so by this time it is almost 4:00 pm and the snow is really coming down. I-35 S is just a mess and traffic is BAD! So, we decide to get a hotel room in Owatonna. Good thing I had the new night gown to wear (as I had only packed for two nights). Oh, and since the nighty was a bit shorter than I would normally wear I put the lounge shorts on underneath---here again I was surprised I could get them on and they fit (with the lymphie legs pants in a 26/28 aren't going to work right now, but the shorts worked just fine on my hips and waist which apparently are now smaller). Our hotel room had one large mirror across the wall where the beds were, and I actually saw that I'm not much bigger than my sister when we were both standing there in our nightgowns side by side. Again...the mind reels!
Here is me in the new top and bra:
Me and DD in her room:
Me and the new boobies up close (I'm not grumpy, just trying to strike a pose):
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5 month Update, New Avatar, and Wound Saga on February 27, 2008 8:27 pm
I had a follow-up appt. with my surgeon today. I was in to see him last month about the hole that was still open and draining. He took me off the wound vac last month because he said that it was not going to heal the hole and the rest of my incision was at that point superficial. He had me poking and irrigating the hole daily to keep it open and draining (so I would not get an abcess) and was hoping it would heal. Well, between that visit and this, I sprouted another hole. It seems my original hole made a tunnel and busted open a new hole about an inch above it. (see picture below if you're not too squeemish).
So, today he told me that I have to have another surgery. I have to call his assistant and get on the schedule in the next couple weeks. He said he will go in and get the sutures out that are causing the problem. He said they will try to do it without putting me completely under, and that he will likely keep me overnight. I am hoping this is the cure to my on-going wound saga.
Other than that I am doing pretty well. I'm down to 392 from 515 on the day of my surgery and my all time high of 564. I'm losing from the top down, so I have the "figure" of a hershey kiss as my lymphie legs have not gotten much smaller to balance out the smaller upper body. I've lost a lot of hair (mine was really thin to begin with so, I'm wearing the scarf until I break down and get a wig). My boobs have shrunken. I have a lot of loose skin in my arms. The other day I was able to squeeze into a size 26/28 t-shirt from Walmart (by summer it should fit comfortably)....this is a big deal for someone who used to wear nothing but 6X t-shirts from LaneBryant/Roamans catalog. I feel a lot better. I can walk and stand more than I used to...heck now that I don't have to lug the wound vac I've even been able to do my own laundry again. My diabetes is gone. My sleep apnea is much much improved. My cholesterol is actually low. I'm thinking I'm ready to wheen off my high blood pressure meds too, but just haven't done that yet. I still get tired and my joints still ache if I overdo it, but I am amazed at where I am today versus where I was before the DS. Even with the balding, sharpei skin, and wound issues I'd do it all again! I love my DS!
Me at the hotel this evening (my new avatar).
My healed incision line, with the hole at the bottom and the new hole above it (the purplish blister is now a tiny third hole but today upon checking it does not tunnel like the other two).
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Weight Update and Finally Feeling Better on December 13, 2007 1:53 pm
Down 3.5 pounds today! I also am finding that I have more energy. The past two days I've been able to do some quilting again, which I have missed so much. I am trying to finish a quilt for my cousin Marvel who is having a baby girl this week.
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Weight to Date on December 9, 2007 11:25 am
Down 2 more pounds today!
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Ding Dong The Stall Is Dead, The Wicked Stall Is Dead! on December 5, 2007 9:22 am
So, I've been going really really low carb since November 30th, and yesterday I weighed and had lost 5 pounds. Well this morning I'm down another 3.5 pounds for a total of 8.5 pounds in less than a week. Whooo Hooo! Thank God my DS is not broken!
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I'm going to have some cheese with my whine! on November 28, 2007 3:02 pm
Well it's just over 2 months since surgery and I am losing weight REALLY SLOWLY! I have lost a total of 36 stinking pounds since surgery and only 3 pounds the second month. I didn't go through major surgery to only lose 36 pounds! WTH!!!!! I am really irritated and starting to freak out that I won't lose much more. I am still stuggling with my abdominal wound, which is healing great for the most part (most of the length of the incision is narrowing and flattened out to the point that I no longer have the deep open cravass I had right after my doc had to re-open the incision line to let out the infection), but there is still the hole at the bottom of the incision which is still open, about 5 cm deep and still draining. I still have to lug around the wound vac everywhere I go (even to the bathroom...so annoying!) and I still have to drive to the hospital in Pierre which is 2 hours round trip 3 times a week to get my wound vac dressing changed. We are hemmoraging gas money these days.
Now, as for eating that is getting better. I no longer puke on a daily basis. In fact, I puked on Monday, and that was the first time in a couple of weeks. I still can't eat much in a sitting, but I do find my belly tells me its empty every couple of hours and I make sure to listen. I have been able to get my protein in, but I have to say I am really burned out on chicken and turkey now. With all the cottage cheese and carnation instant breakfast I ate while I was in the hospital, I'm not sure that I am ready to try them again. And, I am hating on eggs now too. I wish I could tolerate the protein shakes and be done with it, but I can't get beyond the monkey butt smell and taste. I know I know....I need to just suck it up and deal with my decision to have surgery. I just get discouraged because it seems that most other post-ops are losing more quickly. What is wrong with me?
I still have loose stools, but they are starting to thicken (TMI---I know). However, they are pretty smelly. So much so that my sis and I who share a bathroom have dubbed my DS poops....Deadly Stench. She hates the way the ozium and poop combo smells, so I use a lovely citrus spray that makes things a bit more bearable. One problem with my poop schedule is that I don't poop during the day when I am awake, so I am getting up 2 or 3 times a night to go. Not fun!
On a good note, my diabetes is really in control. My glucose levels generally run in the 80s and 90s. This is a big deal because I was the gal with glucose levels that were out of whack before and that was with oral meds and insulin.
I have lost weight in my face and upper body and although my lymphedema legs are somewhat smaller my lower body is still so big! I am frustrated and worried that my lymphedema is not going to get better and that it is holding me back from losing the weight. I just don't know, I guess I expected more and now I am having to face reality. I am depressed about it and find it really difficult to come to this site and to even read the DS board anymore. It just makes me sad to see how lame my weightloss is going compared to others. Okay---I know I am whining and full of self-pity right now, but I am just trying to be honest about how I am feeling right now.
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1 Month Out Already - Update! on October 20, 2007 4:54 pm
I can hardly believe how time has flown. Thursday was the 1 month mark for me. What a ride! My laptop "broke" in Minnesota, but today we decided to give it a whirl and surprisingly it worked, so hopefully I can be a bit more connected to all the information and support available on this board. I have missed it and really felt out in left field trying to figure out this DS on my own.
I have to say my initial thought upon waking at 8:30 pm on September 18, was "I didn't die! I made it through surgery." I know the time, because I was very aware. In my perpheril there was a nurse to the right of me and she was telling someone that my surgery was 10 hours and that it was hard to intubate me. At that point I realized that my hands were restrained and I couldn't speak because of the tube in my throat. Fortunately I fell back asleep. Those were some of the most miserable moments of this experience and as I think back over the days, I have to say that each one has progressively been better.
As I say the days are better, not great...yet. This definately is not an easy way out to weightloss!
As most of you know I was let out of the hospital on Monday, September 24. Unfortunately, I didn't feel that things were right so I made an appointment with my surgeon for Wednesday, September 26. Upon examination it was determined that my incision was infected. There in the exam room Dr. Buchwald took out a scalpel and opened the incision line and let it drain. He opened the entire 10 inches and told me I'd need to be readmitted. The silver lining was that the fascia was still intact.
So, there I was back in the hospital with my open incision for about a week during which the dressings were changed a couple times a day. I must say at first I refused to look at it. Later I had no choice. It was pretty freaky getting up to go to the bathroom and being able to see from where the dressings shifted---the inside of my incision. After that first week I got a wound vac, and on October 3 I was transferred to the transitional care unit (TCU), which was basically a skilled nursing home setting. I must tell you that I spent most of my time in the hospital and TCU being treated like a gastric bypass patient on full liquids. Eventually I persuaded them to give me pureeds, but the daily tray of ground up mystery meat and tasteless ground up vegetable did nothing to interest my pallet. I grew so tired of plain yogurt and cottage cheese in those days. I still cringe at the thought of carnation instant breakfast (my twice daily "snack").
Here are some pictures of me after I got my wound vac placed and one of my daughter visiting me in the hospital:
Other than the wound vac changes there was very little reason for me to stay at the TCU (other than the fact that my insurance would cover a 20 day stay). Once I realized that the wound vac changes could be done closer to home I lit a fire under the staff to get me released to the care of the wound vac program in Pierre, so I could return to SD--to my daughter. I could hardly wait to get out of that place. It was like a lost land where people go to die. Each time a new aide came on shift and I had the unfortunate need to 'buzz" so that I could have them come let the bed rails down just so I could get up and go to the bathroom--I was met with astonishment given my size, that I didn't need a bed pan or a walker. On two occasions the aides didn't even believe me and went to get help from the nurse. Hilarious--and not so much when you have a DS explosion waiting to happen in your pants (or gown)!
I returned home on October 9, and have to say it was glorious to be back in my own bed again--even if I can't sleep on my tummy.
Now I drive 1 hour each way 3 times per week (Mon, Wed, Fri) to Pierre to have my wound vac dressing (which is basically a sponge that fits in the wound and is sealed in place with a sticky cling wrap that gets sucked tight by the vac machine which sucks out all the drainage from my wound) changed. So far, the wound is healing great and has gotten smaller---these things are measured in centimeters and take time, so I imagine I'll still be doing this come Christmas. Eating is a challenge and a chore. I feel my tummy get empty and uncomfortable, but I'm not actually hungry. I have been trying things, and some stay down and some don't. Unfortunately, the pressure the wound vac puts on my tummy area makes eating a little more uncomfortable than I think it would without it. Additionally, I tend to get a bit queezy from the long car rides too. I've tried taking Zofran beforehand, but no help there. I worry that I'm not getting enough protein and I do sip a lot during the day, but I think I just barely get enough fluids. I get tired a lot and sleep a lot more than I used to. I've been resting and reading too---since I've been home I've read 4 novels (3 by Jennifer Weiner and 1 by Jodi Picoult). Life is better than those days just after surgery and I'm just keeping my eyes on the even better life I hope to have a year from now.
Best of all is I have lost 22 pounds--not great for the first month, but I'l take it. Additionally, Mary O reminded me today that I can and should count my presurgery losses, which means that since my all time highest weight (recorded January 2006), that I have lost a total of 102 pounds! Now, I'm just hoping to figure this DS thing out and kick it into gear so the scale starts sliding down even more. | Click here to leave a comment.
I got switched 1 week ago today! on September 25, 2007 1:17 pm
I am happy to say that I was able to have my switch. In the back of my mind there was a bit of fear or doubt that something might prevent this from being done. I spent the first night in the ICU. It was the worst feeling waking up with a tube in my throat (I had to be intubated) and to not be able to speak or communicate because my hands were restrained (ICU policy when tube is involved). I was very aware and uncomfortable. I had probably the worst nurse I could have imagined. She watched the tv in my room and did paperwork all night and rarely came and asked me any questions like about pain or anything. At one point there was drainage from my ng tube streaming out my nose and down my face. I tried to communicate to her that I needed help instead she came over and succtioned out my throat which caused gagging and choking sensatiions. It took a LONG time in the ICU before my tube finally was taken out at about 10:30 am and my hands were set free.
I learned from Dr. B that my surgery was 10 hours, but had gone well. "A perfect DS" were his words. He also took my gallbladder.
Being in the hospital is a humbling experience. I had to let others wipe me both front and back. I had my bod on display to more people than I care to even think about and in the moment I could care less about being proud.
On Thurs I was taken after a crazy ride in my bariatric bed (they were new to the model and didn't know how to use it) to radiology to swallow some yucky stuff and have x-rays done to see if I had a leak. After a couple hours no leak. After a few more hours my ng jube finally came out.
I had a central line in my neck and it was annoying because it kept leaking and the skin was irritated. I got that out the day I left the hospital.
Surgery is hard. I am just trying to take it one day at a time for now. I really look forward to not feeling like crap.
Here is a picture of me in the hospital on the day after surgery (September 19th)....also known as my 35th birthday. See me with my NG tube still and cupcakes I can't eat....Good times!
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Archive
My Story 
Hello, I'm "Dakotahmama" (I chose that name as because I am a Dakotah Indian and a mother). If you choose to read my story you will find out a lot about me, my life, how I became SMO, and what I chose to do about it. It's lengthy so you may not want to read it all, and that's okay. My hope in sharing so openly is that I might inspire and encourage someone along the way. This road to health is a long one, full of twists, turns, triumph and sometimes turmoil. My best advice to anyone just starting out here at OH is to hang in there, be patient, advocate for yourself (no one is going to care more about you or do more for your health than you), don't lose hope or faith, and never give up! If you are SMO (have a BMI of 50 or more) then I strongly encourage you to do your research about all the available surgery options, and check out the DS Board here on OH.
Lymphedema - A Weighty Struggle:
In addition to being SMO, I have a condition called Lymphedema. It is something that I was born with and it began to effect my legs when I began puberty, but it was never addressed as we all thought my legs were extra heavy, because I was a fat kid. Anyhow, my lymph system can't get rid of all the lymph fluid in my body, so in my case it pools in my legs. As my weight has gone up and down, my condition has stayed with me. However, as my weight has increased so has the swelling in my legs. Now it's to the point that my legs are so heavy and deformed that I have trouble walking and lifting them. It is painful for my knees/hips. In fact, at this point even sitting and lying down hurts. I basically go back and forth from the bed to the couch, so I can vary the amount of pressure on my legs throughout the day. I need treatment for my legs, but haven't been able to afford it yet and until recently (February 2007) I was not able to get my healthcare provider, Indian Health Service, to understand my condition and refer me out to someone who is trained to treat me. As of now, I have been evaluated by a Physical Therapist, who indicated my legs are at a Stage II (on a scale of I to III) of severity; I have started decongestive therapy, but wrapping my deformed legs is awkward and it is difficult to keep the wraps from sliding off. I know that losing weight will help take some of the burden off what functioning my lymph system does do. However, without WLS I don't think I can lose enough to make an impact. Having such big legs makes me weigh more (due to all the fluid in my legs--there is fat in them too, but a lot of fluid), makes me have a higher BMI, and makes exercising (let alone walking across the room) all the more difficult...ergo harder to lose weight. My hope is that once I have WLS and lose a large enough amount of weight the wrapping will become easier, more effective and eventually I will be able to use compression stockings.
Here are some pics of me in my wraps (April 2007):
 
I'm homebound most of the time, or I just go along for the ride and wait in the van while my family shops or does whatever. Going anywhere is a struggle physically and mentally. I hate how people look at me. Not only am I obese, but my legs are deformed because of my Lymphedema. I look like a freak (as bad as my legs look above they look even worse without the wraps).
Here are some links to sites about Lymphedema:
http://www.lymphnotes.com/
http://www.lymphedemapeople.com/
http://www.lymphedemacircleofhope.org/
http://www.lymphedemapeople.com/
Gettin' Real About Being Real Big:
I was a chubby baby and a "solid" toddler, but I have been fat since I was 6 years old. Somewhere along the way I crossed that invisible line of acceptable fatness. Not only is it the line where society still views you as human, but for me, it's also the line where it is still possible to lose a significant amount of weight on my own. Being SMO, I take responsibility for being my size, yet I also know that obesity is a disease not a moral flaw; additionally, I understand that genetics play a role as well. I know I am the one who ate my way here, but it's not as though I didn't put up a fight along the way by dieting losing and unfortunately regaining all that I lost plus more each time. Furthermore, it is clear that the diet industry exploits our desire to reach a healthy weight, and offers us "solutions" that typically only 5% of people will have long-term success with. I know I am the one who made so many wrong choices along the way, and I know that I have to be the one to make a change if I want to lose weight.
It is interesting to me when I look back at my weight gain. I can see that so much of the over eating and wrong food choices were made in a pattern that involved stress. Stress due to my job and the way in which I tend to approach things. I tend to be fairly complusive and throw myself into my job, as such I would work a lot of hours and an attempt to be really good at what I was doing. Perhaps because being fat, I felt I needed to go the extra mile so I would not be seen as lazy or any number of stereotypes that society puts upon the obese. Or, perhaps I was also looking for validation or praise from others that I had been lacking in my life; a poor attempt at boosting my self-esteem in a sense. Probably a combination of these two things, but in any event it had a disasterous outcome! I set up a pattern for myself of long days, eating hardly anything all day at work (not even stopping to really take a lunch) and then I would go home and eat a big meal or stop and get fast food on the way, because I knew I was too tired to cook. When Friday would come, in my mind I would reward myself for all my hard work and stress by getting a bunch of junk food and eating my way through the weekend. Of course, when Sunday would roll around I dreaded the thought of having to go back to the office on Monday. It was depressing, because the truth was that I really didn't enjoy my job. The more weight I gained added to my depression and of course that added to my stress and lead to more eating and weight gain. So, here I am SMO and disabled, no longer working that stressful job. At least, I worked long enough and made a good enough wage that I was able to qualify and receive a decent amount from Social Security Disabilty. Additionally, after leaving work and becoming a parent and moving to a new state, living in a location where I have limited access to fast food, or 24-hour a day grocery stores I have found that I have been forced to change my eating habits. I no longer have the extra income or access to buy fast food, or "treats" (junk) as often. I'm not saying that I don't eat these things anymore, but just less often. As a result, I have not gained anymore weight in the last two years. In fact, I have lost some weight. However, the loss that I have acheived is not a significant enough of an amount to enable me to move more and exercise in order to lose even more. Additionally, the amount lost has not made enough impact on improving my lymphedema. So, I decided to again start researching weight loss surgery.
A History of Me:
As noted above, over the last two years a lot has changed. I moved to a place where food choices are somewhat bland and limited. I also, have gotten to the point that I don't eat because of stress or emotions as often. I used to really love the taste and textures of foods, but these days there are not many foods I really even enjoy (the one exception being pizza, but we don't live anywhere near a decent pizza parlor which is probably a good thing). Given these changes, I have been able to maintain and even lose a little weight. However, looking back, food has been a comfort to me. It has been there for me when no one else was. My parents are both narcissistic. They were neglectful in so many ways when I was a child. As a result, I was molested by a family "friend" when I was about 4 to 5 years old. My mother in particular has always been cruel and critical. She was physically and verbally abusive; she used me to take out many of her frustrations over my father's multitude of shortcomings. My father was absent (even when he was still living with us he was in his own little dream world); he finally left when I was 12 and I didn't know where he was or hear from him for 10 years (as an adult he came back into my life for 10 years, and is now on another self-imposed "hiatus" from being a dad to me...will it be another 10 years?? Who knows?). After my parents divorced I was the grown up in the house. I had to cook and clean and take care of my younger sister. Eventually, my mother took us and moved in with her boyfriend. He was moody and cold. He liked my younger sister, but never liked me. I didn't know why, but he just never liked me. He bought my mother clothes and jewelry, which kept her happy, so we stayed. In a sense, she chose him over me...even after she saw him grab my face and push me down once. Over the years, I used food to sooth my pain and fill the emptiness I felt. I started working and earning money as a teen and was able to buy foods I loved like pizza, fast food, and sweets. I dieted a lot...eating just carrot sticks or nothing at times, but when I could no longer tolerate the deprivation, I ate in secret too. By the end of highschool I was 290 pounds. Throughout school, I had 2 close girlfriends (one skinny and the other average); I never dated, or went to proms, & hated high school. Food was my best friend. I ate when I was happy and when I was sad.I was often told that I "had such a pretty face...if only..." I'd lose some weight. When I was in my early 20s (around the time my precious grandmother passed away) I did just that. I did it in a not very healthy way. I pretty much stopped eating and became obsessed with exercise. Being thinner (a size 18) brought a whole host of new problems that included sex & relationships. I wasn't used to the attention. I was trying to get control of my life at that time by counting every calorie, weighing myself several times a day and exercising for hours each day. Eventually, I got pregnant, had an abortion, and a failed relationship, which lead me to a period of deep depression. That's when I gave up and started gaining weight again. Since then I have gone up and down and back up again with even more weight each time. Food has remained my companion.
Conclusions & Other Thoughts:
I know I can't change my past. I have to find new ways to cope. I now understand losing weight doesn't solve all my problems...it's not going to give me the perfect life. I also see that I have to do this for myself. Right now, I am not really living. I have a preschool aged daughter who is the joy and light of each day. I want to live to see her grow and have kids of her own. I don't want to be an embarrassment to her as she gets older and I don't want her to suffer the loss of her mother. I also don't want her to grow up being fat because I've set a bad example(fortunately, she seems on track for being very tall & thin). Because I have trouble getting around now, I rely a lot on my sister and mother to help me with my daughter. This really frustrating, because until about 2004, I was self sufficient and independent. I never have liked relying on others. I feel like a burden. I hate missing out on things too. I also dislike living with my mother (I do pay rent to my mother, buy food and pay my own bills), but it is more cost effective for my sister who is a full-time college student and I to live with her for the time being. I also don't like being on disability, as I would love to go back to school and make a new career for myself. I get depressed a lot about my current situation, but somewhere inside of me I still have hope. Hope, that I will be able to get all of this together and get the surgery, so I can go back to being independent and much healthier.
My Journey Toward Surgery & Paying For It:
Over the last couple of years, this actually became a financial possibility, because after leaving my job which had a specific exclusion to any kind of weight loss surgery for any reason (some co-workers tried and failed to overturn this). At that time I lived in Alaska, and went to the Indian Health Service hospital there for medical care. My PCP was a pretty cost efficient IHS provider and made it clear that WLS was not covered by IHS. He told me to check with the Dietician and work on diet and exercise. Gee why didn't I think of that? Well time marched on and I became a mom and left employment in October 2004, to stay at home with my new baby. Truthfully, my daughter has saved my life in a sense. I would have never just quit my job...it was my life, but it was killing me too. I was relieved to no longer be working as it had become a huge strain due to my increasing weight (getting ready in the morning took a couple hours due to pain and mobility, I could no longer drive myself so my sister would drive me and drop me off at the nearest entrance to my office--I had a desk job, but sitting for hours was painful and getting up to go to the file room and carrying client files back and forth was exhausting/painful). Staying home with a baby was tiring, but relatively easy physically in the beginning (I could sit while making formula, feeding her, changing her, bathing her, dressing her--the only time I had to stand was to do her laundry). Fortunately focusing on the needs of a baby also kept me too occupied to eat much, but my lymphedema was getting more severe and my mobility was starting to worsen. I made a plan that we would move from Alaska to be closer to our extended family (in the Dakota language we call this our Tiospaye) during the summer of 2005, so getting ready to do that kept me busy helping my sister sort and clear out our family home. We arrived back home on our reservation in South Dakota during August 2005. I had the foresight to make sure I had enough of my medications (at the time just high blood pressure and antidepressants) until I'd have a chance to connect with a new PCP. During this entire time we had been living on my separation pay (I had worked with my former employer so long that I was eligible to receive a months worth of salary for every year that I had been employed) and for the move I had cashed out my pension, but I knew that I would not be able to return to work and money was starting to get limited so I filed my Social Security Disability claim in September 2005.
In November 2005, I became Medicaid eligible (since I had no longer had any income), which I learned would actually cover WLS. Around the same time I met with my new PCP at the Indian Health Service Clinic (IHS) here on the reservation. He did a physical, chest x-ray, and EKG (which had an inconclusive result, so he referred me to a heart specialist in Sioux Falls). I was referred to North Central Heart Institute to have a stress test done, but upon meeting with Dr. Isaccson, he indicated that I was too heavy for their equipment and that they could only do an echocardiogram (which I did have and was told the results were good and my heart was fine). At that time Dr. Isaccson, also recommended WLS to me and in fact gave me the name of two doctors, Dr. Fred Harris and Dr. Bradly Thaemert, both of Sioux Falls. In January 2006, I had a consult with Dr. Thaemert who indicated that he would need me to do Optifast and lose some weight prior to surgery (I was at my highest weight then, 564 lbs.). He indicated that he would install a lapband first and then after I lost some more weight, he would go back in and do an RNY. I was estatic to hear that surgery could be done! In the meantime, I also had a required evaluation with Dr. Gary Vanert in Chamberlain, as part of my Social Security Disability claim. Dr. Vanert indicated that I needed WLS sooner than later, and also recommended that I try using his favorite exercise machine (Air-Dyne bike) to lose some weight in the meantime. What he failed to realize is that I was too big for the bike's 350 capacity! Anyhow, it was yet another positive sign that WLS was something that I should pursue. I started working with my PCP to send paperwork and do tests for surgery with Dr. Thaemert, but IHS Contract Health threw up some roadblocks as I had selected them as my Primary Provider for Medicaid, but they were reluctant to make referrals for me regarding my WLS because they did not want to pay for any part of my WLS. Things got kind of bogged down in red tape and I got discouraged. I found out in June 2006, that I was approved for Social Security Disability--and that they considered me disabled as of October 2004! Thank God, because I had no income and no savings left by this time. The only down side to getting approved was that I lost my eligibility for Medicaid, because the amount of disability benefits I would receive was too high, so surgery with Dr. Thaemert was looking to be delayed for a while. I waited and waited for my backpay from Social Security, and by the time I got it I contemplated using it for surgery; however, there were many things that needed to be done to our home on the reservation to make it a safe and livable environment for my daughter, so I used the funds for that instead. Around that time I learned that I would become Medicare eligible as of April 2007 (you have to wait 2 years from the time you are considered to be disabled, plus 6 months after that date for some reason), so that meant if I waited for several more months I could look into getting surgery covered then.
Waiting was hard, and I was depressed and cried a lot! Oh yeah, and in December 2006, I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. I felt sorry for myself, for being so obese and for having lymphedema, but there was always a little bit of hope left. I was trying to get IHS to pay for treatments for my lymphedema, but no one at the clinic understood this condition. For the most part it was written off as being edema caused by my weight and Contract Health at IHS certainly wasn't going to cough up any dough to pay for treatments. Very frustrating!! One of the well meaning nurses at the clinic was very concerned about the "swelling" in my legs so she encouraged me to see the Internal Medicine doc who came to the clinic a couple times a month. She was sure that he would do something for my legs. I decided to give it a shot, so in January 2007, I saw Dr. Darrell Plumage at the IHS clinic. That visit was a very discouraging one (see blog from January 2007), as this guy, in my opinion, is not capable of treating the obese without bias and prejudice. As soon as he came in the door, he took one look at me and started talking about weight. He never adequately addressed my concerns about my lymphedema or the pain in my legs that I reported to him (a few days later I ended up in the ER with a diagnosis of cellulitis--which he failed to address because he was so wrapped up in crucifying me for being SMO), in fact he glanced at my legs and said that my legs were (direct quote here) "too far gone" and that if I had weight loss surgery, I might lose 100 pounds, but that in six months I'd regain them all. He spoke of diet and exercise, but added that these solutions were not for me either given my size. He told me that he wanted me to eat 800 calories a day and stop drinking "so much water," and to take two kinds of water pills (which are contraindicated for people with lymphedema by the way), and sent me on my way with the words, "You've got a long uphill battle, but don't give up." I left that appointment very discourage and in tears. I cried all the way to town (20 miles) and then that night everytime I thought about it! In my opinion, if he was the suicide hotline, we'd have a lot of jumpers! That night I posted on OH (for the first time even though I had been on the site off and on since 2001) and got lots of support, which was nice, but I still was upset. The more I thought about it all the more I got angry. I finally said to myself, this guy was a jerk, and I know that there is something that can be done to help me. I know because I've seen Amy Williams story about her SMO and Lymphedema! I decided to do something for myself, because I finally realized that I was sitting back and waiting for someone to do something and no one would, because in the end it is up to me to take charge of my own health.
Within a three weeks of my appointment with Dr. Plumage I accomplished a lot on my own behalf. I located and contacted several Lymphedema therapists. I put together a presentation and presented it to Contract Health at IHS to teach them about Lymphedema and my case (it took a while but they approved treatments for me). I also started working with the clinic's dietician and mental health person all in anticipation that I would need to do these things to get insurance approval for WLS. I figured, I have to wait until at least April 2007 for Medicare, but I can be doing something! I also started researching Medicare, and how I would get this covered. I learned that Medicare would only cover about 80% of any WLS and that I would have to pay the Part B premium (about $100 per month)...no freebies here! I also learned that the best thing to do to get the other 20% of surgery costs covered (since I can't pay thousands of dollars on my own) was to purchase a supplemental policy. I did a lot of research on that too. It was important to select an insurance carrier that would not hassle me about which surgery would be covered and what they would pay, especially since I was looking at paying an additional $100 per month for that coverage too. I ended up selecting PPO BCBS of SD (which is in the BCBS Great Plains network and includes ND, SD, IA, and MN).
I was regularly posting and reading on the main board of OH. I learned that there is a lot of good support there, but also (and this was my experience, so it's my opinion) a lot of catty clique type behavior too. I noticed that sometimes my posts would just be ignored. I found that discouraging. At that point I was pretty set on having the RNY. I knew there were bands and the RNY and that was it. Then, I got a couple of posts and PMs from a few people (I can't even remember who at this point) that mentioned the DS board. I was like, DS? What the heck is that? So, I went to the DS board, and right away I started learning. I was met with the kindest responses and helpful people I could have hoped for. I started realizing that the DS just might be the surgery for me as a SMO person looking to lose the most excess weight and keep it off long-term. At that time I was leaning toward the DS and I learned that Dr. Fred Harris of Sioux Falls had started doing the DS procedure (he's a very experienced RNY surgeon, who has even had that procedure himself). However, from my research I learned that the DS is a more complicated surgery with a greater learning curve, so you want someone with a lot of experience (at least 100 DS surgeries) under their belt. A great lady, Anne S. , on the DS Board suggested I check out Dr. Henry Buchwald at the University of Minnesota, since he works at a Bariatric Center of Excellence (Medicare only covers surgeons performed at BCEs), and it is a mere 8 hours away by car. I looked Dr. B up on the web and tried to find out as much about him as possible. On the OH surgeon listing it shows that he has done just over 100 DS procedures; however, I learned that Dr. B has specialized in many revisions from other surgeries to the DS (so many of the revisions listed are actually DS procedures as well). From everyone I talked to on the DS board, I received great feedback about Dr. B, who is apparently considered to be "one of the big guns of bariatric surgery...one of the top 10 guys in the world." I was sold! I called his office and scheduled an appointment for consult/seminar, which I attended May 18, 2007 (I had to wait until my sister was out of school so she could drive me there).
Dr. Buchwald met with me on the day of the consult and agreed to do my surgery (see my Surgeon Testimonial at the left). Dannette, Dr. B's assistant indicated that BCBS would require a psych eval and 12 months of diet history, and she "pencilled" me in for a surgery date of August 28, 2007. I knew I didn't have a year's worth of diet history, but Dannette said they don't always make an issue over it. In any event, my proactive work of meeting with the Dietician at the IHS clinic before I was Medicare eligible really paid off since I wouldn't had much else to send to insurance. I scheduled my mental health eval with the same Psychiatrist I had seen as part of my disability claim. I saw her June 11, 2007 (whew!! that was a long day---3 hours spent talking to her and doing the MMPI); unfortunately, she took a LONG time to complete and get the report to Dannette, so that really delayed things being sent to insurance for approval. When I finally heard the first week in August 2007, that the report had been sent to her I called Dannette to confirm that she had recieved it. To my dismay Dannette told me my surgery was scheduled for September 18, 2007 (she apparently had "unpencilled me" from the calendar in August because Dr. B was going to be travelling). She also told me that since she had everything she needed that she would submit it to BCBS. I was stunned when later that same week she called and told me that I was APPROVED!!!! Since then, I have continued to wait and get ready for surgery. I got my pre-op packet of info from Dannette and my approval letter from BCBS the same day. So, it's official (read my blog to see how things turned out)!
If you have never heard of the DS then please find out more about it. Here is some information below that helped me make my decision:
Here is an excellent article about a study done at the University of Chicago noting the benefits of the DS for the SMO patient:
http://www.uchospitals.edu/news/2006/20060922-weight-loss.html
In short, the reasons Dr. Prachand gives in the above article are:
1. Greater weight loss by all measures - "In this study, patients undergoing duodenal switch were significantly more likely to achieve and maintain successful weight loss--defined as losing more than half of their excess weight--at one year (DS 83.9% vs. RYGB 70.4%) and three years (DS 84.2% vs. RYGB 59.3%) after surgery."
2. Long term matainence is much better with the DS - "Every one of these patients had significant weight loss," Prachand said, "but the duodenal-switch patients had greater weight loss and seemed to keep the weight off longer."
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The following was taken from www.duodenalswitch.com , which is a great place to find out more about the procedure, including a complete list of legitmate DS surgeons.
The BPD/DS combines restrictive and malabsorptive elements to achieve and maintain the best reported long-term percentage of excess weight loss among modern weight-loss surgery procedures.
The Restrictive Component - The BPD/DS procedure includes a partial gastrectomy, which reduces the stomach along the greater curvature, effectively restricting its capacity while maintaining its normal functionality.
Unlike the unmodified BPD and RNY, which both employ a gastric “pouch” and bypass the pyloric valve, the DS procedure keeps the pyloric valve intact. This eliminates the possibility of dumping syndrome, marginal ulcers, stoma closures and blockages, all of which can occur after other gastric bypass procedures.
In addition, unlike the unmodified BPD and RNY procedures, the DS procedure keeps a portion of the duodenum in the food stream. The preservation of the pylorus/duodenum pathway means that food is digested normally (to an optimally absorbable consistency) in the stomach before being excreted by the pylorus into the small intestine. As a result, the DS procedure enables more-normal absorption of many nutrients (including protein, calcium, iron and vitamin B12) than is seen after other gastric bypass procedures.
The BPD/DS procedure includes a partial gastrectomy, which reduces the stomach along the
The Malabsorptive Component - The malabsorptive component of the BPD/DS procedure rearranges the small intestine to separate the flow of food from the flow of bile and pancreatic juices. This inhibits the absorption of calories and some nutrients. Further down the digestive tract, these divided intestinal paths are rejoined; food and digestive juices begin to mix, and limited fat absorption occurs in the common tract as the food continues on its path toward the large intestine.
For more detailed procedure information, see Dr. Hess’ patient brochure. For other detailed descriptions and illustrations, see the More Information page for links to surgeon’s websites & more.
History - The standalone Duodenal Switch procedure (without the accompanying gastric bypass as used in weight-loss surgery) was originally devised by Tom R. DeMeester, M.D. to treat bile gastritis, a condition in which the stomach and esophagus are burned by bile. In 1988, Dr. Douglas Hess of Bowling Green, Ohio, was the first surgeon to combine the DS with the Biliopancreatic Diversion (BPD) form of obesity surgery. This hybrid procedure, known as the Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch (or the Distal Gastric Bypass with Duodenal Switch), solves many nutritional problems associated with other forms of WLS, and allows a magnificent eating quality when compared to other WLS procedures.
50 things I want to do before I'm 40:
1. Drive for myself again
2. Cook for my family without my back, legs & feet hurting
3. Stand for over 5 minutes without feeling like I am dying - Done February 2008
4. Play with my daughter in our yard - Done January 2008 (only for a short time, but I pushed her on her swing)
5. Where regular shoes again...not more open toe slip ons
6. Not have to shop with LaneBryant or Roamans Catalog
7. Fit in a regular bathroom stall instead of the handicap one
8. Take a shower standing up - Done January 2008 (I was tired afterward, but I did it)
9. Sit on regular deck furniture without breaking it
10. Get out of the house and not be ashamed
11. Go grocery shopping
12. Take my daughter on a plane ride to Disneyland
13. Go anywhere without worrying about seating
14. Clean my house myself
15. Go hiking again
16. Go swimming again...and not be mortified about being seen
17. Go to the Mall
18. Ride a horse...take my daughter riding (she loves horses)
19. Be fit and healthy
20. Stop taking so many medications - Done December 2007
21. Go visit my friends in Seattle & Alaska
22. Write a book
23. Be bootylicious with less booty
24. Try kayaking
25. Be able to get down on floor to play with daughter
26. Be able to get back up off the floor
24. Not need to wear clothes made from poly/cotton knit
25. No more elastic waistbands...except for workout clothes
26. Take up pilates or yoga
27. Go on a fabulous beach vacation somewhere warm
28. Take a bath, and be able to get in/out of tub
29. Go back to college & get degree
30. Find a new career--get off of disability
31. Have a make over
32. Be under 300 pounds
33. Go to a obesityhelp.com convention
34. Plant a vegetable garden
35. Buckle seat belt without extentions - Done October 2007
36. Go to church
37. Jog, skip, run, and bike ride
38. Dance on the Ellen DeGenerous Show
39. Get a manicure and pedicure
40. Get my hair "professionally cut" & FIT IN THE CHAIR!
44. Be social again
45. Spread more awareness for Lymphedema
46. Help advocate for other people that are obese and need help
47. Do a triathalon
48. Get a massage
49. Get a facial
50. Give my daughter a piggyback ride
Wow Moments
***Spring 2006, I no realized I didn't NEED a seat belt extender (it was a tight fit, but I didn't have to use it)***
***October 2007, I realized I have lots of room left when I am seat belted in and I am able to wear rings that I have not been able to wear before or that I used to wear***
***November 2007, my sister grabbed my shoulder and was surprised she could actually fit her hand around it and feel the bone too. My fleece jacket I bought last winter that I barely could zip, now hangs on me.***
***December 2007, my DD climbed on my back and bumped her nose against my shoulder blade and I could actually feel her hit my bone.***
***January 2008, I went inside to Chuck E Cheese's with my daughter and sister. I sat in a booth (pushed the table over so I could fit, but still) and was able to watch her playing. Someday I'll be able to walk around and stand at each activity with her too.
***January 2008, I came back from my follow-up with surgeon (he took me off wound vac) and was able to do all our trip laundry myself (well I had some help with carrying the basket, but still). I also dusted the furniture and vacuumed the floor myself (taking breaks to sit as needed, and was tired out after all this activity, but I DID it!)
***February 2008, I'm under 400 lbs. for the first time in several years AND I fit into a size 26/28 top and a 44D bra which I bought when I WALKED into Lane Bryant and looked around. Again, I was tired afterward but man did that feel good to be able to shop in a store again (I hadn't done that since September 9, 2005).
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Where I'm From:
I live in a small community of about 2,500 people. It is located on the Crow Creek Sioux Indian Reservation, which is part of Buffalo County (the poorest county in the United States). Nestled along the banks of the beautiful Missouri River, our reservation boasts an opportunity for terrific fishing and hunting amongst the canvas of rolling hills and open prairie. Unfortunately, this community is fairly isolated; the nearest Walmart is 60 miles away, while the closest opportunity for shopping at a reasonable price can be found 20 miles away.
  
  
There are few jobs, limited/inadequate housing, and most people survive on little or no income. The lack of economy and opportunities can make it a depressing place at times. For many the affects of inter-generational trauma manifests itself in addiction and self destructive behavior. As a result alcoholism is an epidemic. Social problems such as domestic violence, child abuse and neglect also plague many of the families living on this reservation.
Here are some links to more information about my people/reservation:
http://www.mnisose.org/profiles/crwcreek.htm
http://www.d-w-m.org/index.asp?menu=8
http://dakota-march.50megs.com/onered.html
Despite all of these issues, the people here are a tight knit community of inter-related families that share a common history and proud heritage as Dakota/Lakota people. We are survivors, and descendents of strong people who endured many tragic events (deaths, losses of land, starvation, boarding schools, etc.), but did not disappear with the buffalo. We are still here and we hold dear our traditions and culture. For me I look to my ancestors as a symbol of strength that I have within myself to endure and conquer anything. That is why I chose to move back to the area to live amongst my own people; I wanted my daughter to be exposed to our culture.Growing up in Alaska, far from family, I did not have the opportunity to share in as many Dakota cultural events as I would have liked. I did come back to the rez in the summer and visit my Grandparents, but those visits always seemed too short and I feel that I missed out on a lot. I don't know that we will stay here on the rez, because I want my daughter to have better education opportunities than what is offered here at Tribal schools. Also, there are no opportunities for her to be involved in gymnastics, ballet or even soccer--she is very athletic and has expressed a desire to participate in these activities. So we may move, but we will at least stay within driving distance to our reservation. We are tied to this place, the land and the people...it is a connectedness that helps to define our identity in this world.
Food & My Family - Feast or Famine:
My mother was raised here back in the 1950's. She grew up with kerosine lanterns, wood stoves, and had to haul water from the river. She was 16 years old (in 1969) when her family finally had indoor plumbing. It is said that times were hard then, and there were no government programs to help the Indians at that time. People were poor, but they helped each other. Jobs were few back then, but my grandfather travelled wherever he needed to so he could find work as a ranchhand. My grandmother stayed home with their children (9 in total), cooking whatever she could to feed everyone. It was often meals of soup, potatoes, and bread that stretched the farthest and made everyone full. Everyone ate fast so they could get seconds, or they might miss out. There were times when food supplies ran low and there wasn't much to eat. My Mom, tells of going to bed hungry at times. They used to pick wild plums and chokecherries to eat; on one ocassion my Mom was so hungry she picked plum rinds off the dirty ground and ate them, because that is all there was. When her father would come back with his pay, he and her mother would go to town and stock up on groceries for the month. Sometimes, they would buy special treats like fresh fruit, course bolonge, and store bought bread. Those treats often went quickly with such a large family.I think this kind of deprevation and feast or famine environment caused some unhealthy behaviors with food for my Mother and her siblings. Today, almost every adult in our extended family is obese. Every family function involves food...lots of it. Growing up in our home with my Mother, we did not have a lot of money. I remember my mother was always dieting and exercising, and then there were times when she would binge on something special she brought home from the store when she had the money. She used to gleefully talk about the summer when she was a teenager and lost 50 pounds by not eating and running her bike up a big hill until she felt like she might collapse. Not healthy at all! I can see how these patterns affect me in regards to my relationship with food.
My Hobby:
In the tradition of Native American women, like my Great-grandmother Rosalie, I have become a star quilter. This is such a joy for me to be able to do. No one taught me how to make star quilts, I learned on my own, but as silly as it might seem sewing has always come naturally to me...as if it were in my genes. I started sewing when I was twelve and have made everything from prom dresses to pow wow dresses. Making star quilts is my love though....it's like therapy for me.Star quilts are highly valued among the Dakota people. We give them as a way of honoring someone special. They are given upon the birth of a child, a marriage, and when someone is being remembered and honored at a memorial ceremony. These blankets are typically machine pieced and then hand quilted (I hand quilt them as I don't think machine quilting looks as nice---and they are less valuable when they are machine quilted). It is said that they are the modern version of buffalo robes, which were intricately decorated on the inside, often with the Morning Star design.
  
   
   
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