I have only 15 days until my surgery day. I have been fine with everything until now. I have doubts, I am scared of the pain, I keep thinking to myself "why cant i do this on my own". "Do I really need to do something this drastic".

I know that questions are normal, doubt is normal. Being scared is normal.  I will just try and not think of it. Easy to do until your in your gown at the hospital and you kiss your spouse goodbye. I geuss I am just rambling on, I needed to get the words out there that I am not super woman and I am scared. I could fail or I can succeed. The choice has been and will be up to me.

T.M.I.  I know but yesterday I got my period. Since i have lost weight and have started exercising regular my cycle is now regular. Which is good, except that in 28 days I am due to have surgery. So I get on the phone to the surgeons office praying that they dont push my surgery back a week. They told me its fine to be on my cycle for surgery. Most women actually start in the hospital anyway. So hey I guess its no big deal. The good news is I get to wear panties for surgery and nobody will see my whowho! The bad news is, just another thing to deal with while I am trying to recover. And I have been getting really emotional just before my cycle begins. Like I get anxiety and shakey. Just for one day than I am fine. Weird I know.

Dani

Today I got my date set! My surgery will be at Harper Hospital in Detroit on Sept 14th. Seems like it will be a year away rather than just a month. Counting down the days until I am on the losers bench.

Today is the day I am gonna find out how much my surgery is gonna cost. Hopefully today is also the day I get to set the date.  Maybe I should be sitting down for that conversation?

Well I got the call today. My insurance company has approved my surgery! I am excited and scared all at the same time. Next week I will have a date schedualed and be counting down those days. Wow this is Kinda weird, I am gonna be a loser and I like it.