Wow, these last eight months have passed so incredibly quickly that my mind can't keep track of all the changes:  Ok, walking instead of watching tv, eating fruit instead of fruit colored candies, taking vitamins instead of just saying I should take them, actually enjoying shopping for clothes instead of dreading having to buy god-awful fat-person styles....however, the best part is enjoying who I am instead of trying to hide from the world!


My thankful list:

*I am grateful for my father who made this surgery possible.

*I love my  husband who has supported me at 322 lbs. and now at 185!  He has always been extremely considerate and since he loved me when I was fat, I know he truly loves me for who I am!!! I am so lucky!

*I am thankful for my three puppies who have been supportive throughout this entire change and have always been willing to help me dispose of extra food!

*I feel like a child every time I take a bath and take a bath almost daily just so I can watch the water actually covering my body!

*I am amazed when I can walk for extended periods of time and not feel tired.

*I am most grateful for the belief I now have of possibly living long enough to use my IRA savings!!

Wow, Large???  NO...really?....large?

I watched the shirt go over my head...thinking there is no way...pulled it down over my tummy...knowing it would snag...I let go...and even when the shirt didn't spring-up over my fat rolls...I just couldn't believe it actually fit!! 

Lol, I had to ask my husband three or four times, with all of his replies being insistant "yes's", if it actually fit. 

Yes, it fits! 

The shirt still looks too small to me but it somehow actually is the right size!  Wow!  This is the best WOW moment so far!! 

I truly never even imgained a skinny me fitting into anything smaller than an XL...and the best realization was that I still have 30 pounds to loose in order to reach my personal weight goal...so there is a possibility that I might...maybe...one day be a size medium! 



The strangest part about finally fitting into a large, however, is that I felt an absurd need to explain to the person selling me the shirt (at the time I didn't know for sure whether or not it fit) that I was buying this in the hopes that it would one day fit.  I felt as though I was making an obviously ridiculous purchase....

I guess I still have the mentality that allows me to assume people are wandering why this fat lady is buying a large...lol...oh well, maybe one day my eyesight will align with my perception.

I suppose better late than never!

I am about 8 months into my RNY and never felt the urge to blog about it until now.  I think my apathy began with the method in which I became a post RNYer.  I had lost 100 lbs. three/four times before having surgery and during the last massive weight loss I promised my mother I would have a surgery done if I couldn't keep it off.  Of course, in my mind I assumed the promise would ensure I wouldn't regain but, surprise, I gained it all back plus more.

Normally, I monomanically research any electronic purchase, vacations, what kind of toothpaste to use, ect.  However, I was so scared about the surgery and so depressed about needing to have it done that I blindly jumped off the cliff.  I found a surgeon online who seemed respectable and that was the extent of my preparation.  I asked the surgeon which surgery was best and made a date for the operation.  I truly did not want to have this surgery but I knew, in my heart, that it was my only chance....so here I am.

Only this past month have I been happy to be an RNYer.  I experienced a strange love/hate relationship with my operation in the beginning and spent an enormous amount of time during the first few months post-surgery regretting having had it done.  I suppose the purpose of this post is to acknowledge the realization that I now feel truly happy.

Positive Changes:  I have more confidence, more energy, am healthier, enjoy eating 'health' food, have a lot better sex life (my husband says it's like having an affair), and now have a fighting chance to one day become a little old lady.

Life is good!