HERE IS A COPY OF THE SPEECH I USED IN AUSTIN.. THANKS TO OH FOR ALLOWING ME TO SPEAK.. I FEEL BLESSED TO BE ABLE TO SHARE MY STORY.. I WILL UPLOAD THE VIDEO LATER..
First of all I would like to thank OH for allowing me to share my story with everyone here.. I find myself extremely lucky to have a platform to share with you all and hopefully provide some insight that you can use to help you through this journey called WLS..
Also I would like thank Dr. LaMonaco and the other sponsors for sponsoring this event.. Without the help of people like them these things would not be possible.. Sponsors, if you are here stand up and take a bow..
Also I would like to recognize someone that has put a lot of hard work into this event.. I know she doesn’t want to be recognized but she didn’t write this speech so she can’t change it. If you would please give a round of applause to fellow OH Texas board member Debra Flores.
This is the third time that I have had the great pleasure of sharing my story..
In fact I feel extremely blessed to have some of my best friends here in the audience and I hope to make them proud of me but honestly its not about making anyone proud but instead its about me hoping to relate with someone and make a difference in their lives, if I do that then I have done my job.
Well, a little about myself, I am 40, wow, never thought I would live to say that. My journey began at almost 500 pounds. I was 36 pounds short of a ¼ of a ton.. I was 37 when I made the decision to change my life for the better in fact it will be three years on July 7th.. And three years that I wouldn’t change for the world.. I have learned so much in that time and I hope to share some of that knowledge with you today.. By the way, my name is Ramon aka Da Shrinking Dawg Ramon on OH.
That is one of the names that I have been called.. I say one of them because I have been called a lot of things. Not all of them good but hey, I earned those names too.. But to be honest I am a little fond of Ramon..
I know that after the last event I got an email from a lady that called me arrogant and cocky.. I am by no means saying that I didn’t earn those names too.. She made reference to the fact that I only hung around my friends,. I emailed the lady back and explained that it all wasn’t cockiness but instead a lot of it was insecurity.. So I would also like to add misunderstood to the list of names I have been called.. I say misunderstood because I did hang out with my friends a lot that weekend because of my insecurities.. You see I may have lost almost 300 pounds but I will forever be the 500 pound man in my head.. So by all means if you want to talk to me after this is over please approach me.. I am not that arrogant and cocky..
Another thing that I have been called is an inspiration that is a big word for such a small-minded person like me to fill. To be honest I am not sure how I feel about being called that name, but I will say this, if that is how you feel then I hope to inspire a few of you here today..
But just remember that deep down under all this I am still Ramon..
Believe me it has been one hell of a trip. A lot good, some bad, but over all I would do it over again tomorrow if I had to I just pray that I don’t have to. I have been through a lot with this surgery.. The one thing that probably stands out the most and isn’t talked about much is the emotional affect that this surgery.. My old support group leader Dr. Joel Marcus probably said it the best when he told me that they do surgery on your stomach not on your head. No one told me that I was going to have to be prepared to kill my best friend.. Not literally but as an obese person my best friend was food.. If I was happy, I ate sad I ate, angry I ate.. If I was awake, I ate. As pre-ops you need to be prepared for that.. And at the first sign of needing help don’t be afraid to ask because there are all kinds of help out there..
I talked about doing my job earlier and that is one of my four rules that I try to live my life by daily.
1. Do Your Job, that is self explanatory, no one likes to see an unfinished job even in the job is something as simple as getting your water in or posting on the OH board then that is your job and do it.. One of my daily jobs is posting a Grateful Post on the message boards just to remind myself to be grateful daily..
I know that I am grateful that one OH member did her job.. I was in my third month of my six month diet period and ready to give up. Because I just found out that I had to lose an additional 24 pounds in order to have the surgery Laproscopically. At the time I was teaching and the kids wanted to get on the computers but I told them the only way they could get on would be to look for profiles of people that had lost at least 150 pounds.. Well one of them happened to find Yvonne’s profile where she said she would answer
questions about WLS.. Well, unbeknownst to Mrs. McCarthy I sent her an email with the stipulation that if she answered my email within 24 hours I would have the surgery and if not I was going to back out.. I informed the kids of this and as a group they told me I was out of my mind for allowing a stranger to decide one of the most important decisions of my life but I had faith in her to look out for me.. But in all honesty I was just looking for an easy out.. Well as fate would have it, she was at her computer that afternoon and I got a reply in less than 10 minutes.. That was truly an email that changed my life.. So now I thank her for the surgery on the good days, but on the bad ones I blame her for it Yvonne I love you..
All that you are, all that you have, all that you know can work together to bring about the most treasured dreams You are never too old, too young , too feeble or too uniformed to make a difference.. The only thing that can truly stop you is you.. But only if you listen to the insecure posturing of your ego.. Choose instead to listen to your heart, which tells you what you know you must do..
Find real joy in following your purpose Do your job. Find fulfillment by being the positive helpful person you are meant to be.
2. Failure is not an option. If I don’t do my job then failure is very possible. I know very few people that enjoy failure. .. In fact I have a bracelet that was given to me by my nephew’s girlfriend that says this and I have yet to take it off since she gave it to me.. Also I will never forget the day that my grandfather died.. I took my grandmother in to see him and she told him that it was me and he said that he knew it was me and He looks good doesn't he.. Here is a man that with literally one of his last breaths on this earth took the time to mention me and how good I looked so when I think of that moment. I know deep down I can’t fail..
One of the things that I want to share with you today and hopefully you will take this to heart. Is that if you wake up thinking you are going to have a bad day. Rarely will you disappoint yourself.. One of the most difficult parts of any accomplishment is allowing yourself to do it.. Once you fully begin to allow yourself to take the necessary actions the results begin flowing to you with ease.. Your ego promotes the false idea that effort and challenge are things to be avoided.. In reality, effort and challenge enable you to create great value and bring immense joy to your life.. That is why I like to remind myself not to sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
3. Failure sucks I feel so strongly about this that I have an F and S tattooed on my leg.. I have a daily reminder to not allow myself to fail.. People sometimes ask me how I keep from failing I promise that I don’t have a magic cure but I will tell you this¦. The key to success is not cutting corners.. I reached my personal goal in 15 months and have remained there or below ever since.. Try not to cut corners in your daily life This includes cheating on your exercises Having those peanut m&ms or any other way you might find to cut corners’’ Along those lines I want to remind you to set goals for yourself .. But don’t set unrealistic goals remember that we didn’t get where we were or are overnight.. I promise you I didn’t wake up one day and look in the mirror and say wow I added 250 pounds over night now that will I do.. In fact, I want you all to set a goal and try to achieve that goal plus 1% that can mean all sorts of things like getting your water in or maybe exercising.. But I promise you that that 1% will slowly add up and give you sense of accomplishment.. Accomplishment is something that comes easily if you allow it.. From the inside out, you are meant to create..
4. The one that keeps me motivated the most is NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM as a pre-op I hated pictures but that is one of the best motivators you can have.. Because I look back at some of the before pictures that I have and I never want to go back there so I try not to fail… If you are starting on this journey please take pictures so you can look back on those days you feel like doing nothing.. And get motivated..
When I show people my before pictures they are amazed and ask me how I was even living at that size I tell them that I wasn’t living.. Just surviving and not even a good life.. As an obese person most of us are known as the jolly fat person but that is just our way of covering up how we really felt alone, lonesome, and left out..
One of the ways that I helped myself deal with the obesity was alcoholism.. I am very pleased to tell you that I let that addiction go over 12 years ago..
Addictions take every shape and form.. Most of them aren’t as blatant as my alcoholism.. When the owner of the beer store, who has a son that you are putting through college, tells you that you have a drinking problem then and maybe then it is time to sit back and think about it.. I can tell you this though no matter how much someone tells you that you have a problem it won’t do any good until you decide that you have a problem.. Because, you are the only one that can make yourself quit.
Not all my addictions were out in the open like my alcoholism.. I was a master at hiding one of the worst addictions I ever had I am about to open up here and you just don’t know how tough this next part is going to be.. Because as obese people we put up walls to protect ourselves because of lack of trust.. The bad thing about being a man is that some men are really good builders so it took a little bit longer to kick this wall down.. But because this conference is all about helping others I am going to put myself out there.. I hope like hell you all don’t judge me.. But here goes.. For a year and half I struggled with an addiction to pain pills.. This was one of the toughest parts of my life.. Because I had a friend, and I use that term loosely, that would provide me about 150-200 pills a month. I had security knowing that every 13th of the month that I would be getting a Fed-Ex
overnight package with my monthly supply.. But I should use the real name for her.. An Enabler..
Around that time a special person came into my life.. After working on tearing down walls with each other I confided in them my pain pill addiction.. About three months into the friendship they shared their concern with the abuse, when they had witness first hand when I had what I would call a rainbow night.. In case you all are wondering the term comes because I would just take multicolored pills and have rainbow night.. I am very glad they did confront me, but like I said earlier they could have told me until they were blue in the face but until I wanted to make a change it wouldn’t do any good.. But I saw myself going down the same road I had taken with the alcoholism and it wasn’t a pretty road..
With the new found confidence that I had gained I decided that it was time to fight the dragon.. As an addict that is one of the toughest things you will
ever do is facing your addiction.. But SIN LUCHA NO HAY VICTORIA which means Without Struggle There Is No Victory.. But ladies and gentlemen let me tell you I am a street wise person and I have been in some tough fights but no one told me that this dragon was a Playstation dragon because you know what it never dies.. It is a daily struggle.. Just like life.
I will never forget the first time the 13th rolled around after I got rid of the enabler.. It was one of the loneliest days, because I didn’t have my security blanket but it was also one of the most rewarding days in my life because I had taken the first of many baby steps to being sober.. It has been almost a year since I’ve done that.. And although I had plastics and would have been able to get whatever I wanted I still have one of the original bottles of pills given to me..
I am by no means an addiction therapist but I would like to share a few lessons learned along the way.. When you have an addiction and you think you are about to relapse.. Think about this.. One is too many and a million will never be enough.. Another great observation along those same lines is the train story.. It states that if you get hit by a train it isn’t the caboose that kills you, its going to be that first car that’s hits you that does the job.
Whatever your problems may be, you can always find something or someone else to blame but there is nothing of real value to be gained by doing so.. Certainly there are many factors that influence the events and the outcomes in your life.. The best things to focus on however, the things that you can control.. This, brings me to another favorite saying of mine.. I can’t control other people’s actions but instead the only thing that I can control is my reactions.. Resentment and anger will do little more than waste your time and could likely make you do things that you would only hurt yourself.. Building an elaborate case of blame for what has happened will drain your energy and leave you no further ahead than when you started.. I remember getting angry at someone and just saying to hell with it, I will just get drunk but things didn’t change.. Instead maybe I should have tried forgiveness.. Even though someone else may be to blame, consider the freedom and power you have when you take responsibility for your own situation. When you focus on blame, you position yourself as a helpless victim.. Choose instead to take responsibility and you’ll live you life on your own terms so basically I guess instead of blaming my enabler I should have said physician heal thyself..
Wow I hope that isn’t too much to ingest but just know that it is wisdom that had been to hard to come by.. One more thing though.. Please remember to always pay it forward.. That is an important lesson that I learned early in my journey and I want to make sure that you take that away with you today..
I want to share a video of my journey.. Believe me when I say it has been a long strange trip.. And I hope you enjoy the Ramon Lopez Story in pictures..
In closing I want to touch on self esteem. Believe it or not I myself have suffered from low self-esteem. If you go away from this conference remembering anything, this is what I want it to be. 1. Nobody holds a high opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself.. And last but not least I want to share the famous words of a great friend of mine who reminds me when I am feeling down and low to get my shoulders back, chest out, and keep my head held high.. Please keep this in mind as you continue on with your daily life. May God Bless you and PEACE.
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