deehoney

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LOL, I had such a hissy fit yesterday!  I'm doing better today.  I got all my protein in yesterday and I will today as well. Its already 8pm and I've gotten 40 grams in, but I will be up until at least midnight or so (I'm a night owl) and I should be able to get the rest in.

My pouch has spoken to me lately though, she has decided that she does not like room temperature water, only ice cold.  If I drink room temperature water, she gets a little annoyed with me.  So, I need to make sure everything I drink is cold, cold, cold. I can handle warm things like chicken broth, just not room temperature for a reason.  Not sure why, I'll have to ask my NUT.

I'm down another pound which is great.  :)

I got a lecture from my mom today about my protein, I think she was worse than the doc, lol.  I need to remind myself that all this protein is gonna help me lose this weight, and keep my hair! The latter is pretty important as well, I want to keep as much hair as I can!  I do think I'm going to cut it shorter though, not too short. My husband is sooooo not happy with that though, oh well.

Ahh, I am starting to struggle these last couple of days. I feel hungry, not tummy rumbling, but my stomach is not happy with me.  I'm not getting all my protein in, I'm short about 20 grams or so a day.  I saw my doc today for my 2 week post-op and he wasn't happy with me either about my protein.  It's soo hard to get it all in and I'm really trying.  I need to keep trying harder.  My incisions are looking good, one of the scabs pulled of one on the way there and ruined my shirt with the drainage from one (EWWW!!) and I got a little bandaid to put on it. 

All, I can think about is FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! I want a damn burrito, or taco, or hamburger, I want something substantial to feel full!  I think part of it is that I'm anxious about starting the next food phase which I get to start on Thursday. I want something delicious in my tummy instead of Isopure Dutch Chocolate shake and Isopure Alpine Punch. I want to add milk and other yummilicious stuff to my shake, but I can't yet.  I know it's only a few days to the full liquids stage, but I didn't think it would hit me this hard.  SIGH!

The good thing is that I'm all cleared for normal activities, excercise, swimming, sex ;)  I just don't have a lot of energy for any of those right now.  I think I'm just in this funk that I need to crawl out of!

Anyhoo, that's me for today ...hopefully in a few days, I'll be smiling when I can have some cream soups and cream of wheat!

So, I've had a little bitty WOW moment today. I bought these Right Fit Jeans from LB about 2 and a half years ago in size 6, which I think is about a size 20/22. They fit tight when I bought them and the sales associate said that's the way you need to buy them because they stretch out. So I bought 2 pairs.  Well, after washing them, they were really really tight and pretty uncomfortable to wear, but my hubby liked them because they were so tight. Last year, I couldn't even fit into them. They hurt to put on as my fat would just boil over the top.  So, I set them aside in my closet.

Well, today, I was cleaning out my closet and called my hubby in because I wanted to try these jeans on for him.  I put them on sooo easy and buttoned them up with no problems. They were actually loose on me! I actually started crying! I couldn't help myself. I then went through my closet looking for a few other pair of jeans that were way too tight just a few months ago and they fit perfectly.  I can't believe it!

It's such a motivator and makes me know that I'm doing the right thing!  Pretty soon, my closet is just gonna have clothes that are going to be too big for me. I think Thrift Stores are going to be my new staple :)

Ooh, and I'm down 24 lbs now! Wow!

From the beginning of pre-op, I'm down 21 lbs. I'm now lighter than when I first met my husband. I was 244 when I met my husband and I was 230 on the scale this morning. The summer of 2008, I weighed 270 lbs, the highest I ever weighed in my entire life.  I was shocked when I saw that number at the nutrionist.  I went down to 253 with the 6 month nutrition program, I know I could have gotten down even further with that if I really tried, but I didn't. I just cut back all the fast food that I was eating and exercised a little more.

When Dr. Lamar called me from the doctor's office and told me that my surgery date was 8/11/09 and that I needed to start my pre-op diet just 5 days later, I was nervous. I got on the scale that morning of the surgery and I weighed 251.  I went down to 237 the day of the surgery. I've lost 7 more lbs in a week.  During that pre-op time, I did cheat, but I chewed and chewed until it was like applesauce in my mouth. Food didn't taste all that good to me, weird enough. 

I'm craving food like crazy now and I have no idea if food is gonna taste good to me again.  I want all the bad stuff ... pizza, hamburgers, chinese food, pasta, you name it, I want it in my mouth.  What I don't want is my GERD back. It has been 7 days and I have not had one acid reflux episode. It feels wonderful.  

I have my regrets sometimes about the surgery like why couldn't I do this on my own. But then, I have to realistically think about how many diets, how many times I have tried to get this weight off and I haven't been able to. I have failed over and over again.  This is my last resort. I'm gonna be a role model to my son and show him how strong his mommy will be and how I'm not embarrassed to go out with him to public places like Disneyland, Legoland, the fair, etc. 

Again, enough of my rambling for the night, LOL!!

I'm home from the hospital :) What a successful surgery!  I have 8 little 'stab wounds' and had my gallbladder removed.  I'm feeling a little bit better than I did when I had my hysterectomy back in January.  The staff was soo wonderful at Arcadia Methodist as well as Dr. LaMar. 

Here is to day 1 of my new life! :) :)

My surgery is tomorrow! OH EM GEE!!  I'm soo nervous and excited.  I am just in shock that tomorrow is the start of my new life. My healthy life with my child. My sexier life with my husband.  My NEW life!  I'm not sure if I'm going to sleep tonight, I'm gonna try, but I really don't think I will. I got up early on purpose this morning too, so I would more sleepier tonight. LOL

I know I will be in good hands with the surgeon tomorrow.  I did get a little freaked out today thinking about the complications, but I just remind myself that these complications are so much less riskier if I keep this weight on my body.

I can't wait for the day where I'm not afraid to take pictures anymore or not embarrassed to meet someone new because of my weight. 

Yay for a NEW life! :) :)

So it looks like I missed 5 and 4 day countdown, ooh sigh, lol.

Last night me and the fam went to a drive-in movie theatre, it was actually pretty nice. It was the first time my son has ever been to one, so that was a nice experience.  I think I'm off to the bookstore today to pick up some WLS books that I've heard about.

The pre-op diet still sucks! I did cheat a little bit yesterday and had some tuna, it was only 1 gram of fat and 22 grams of protein. I know, I'm bad bad bad, but I was pretty hungry.  My weight loss hasn't moved, well, um, that's probably because of the tuna.  I'm hoping for a really fast weekend so I can get the show on the road for Tuesday!!

I'm seriously worried about losing my hair! I need to order some liquid or chewable hair and nail vitamins.  I don't have a lot of hair to begin with, it's super thin and naturally curly so that helps gives the illusion that it's thicker.  I really can't afford to lose any.  I know it sounds completely shallow considering the reason why I'm losing this weight, but I can't help it.

Argghh!! So I think today was pretty tough for me in regards to eating. I was craving that Stouffer's Baked Chicken Breast and Mashed Potatoes Frozen Dinner in the freezer. I even told my hubby that I really wanted to chow down on it and he kept reminding me that I couldn't and that I've gone so far already and not mess this up!  He's right and opted for 1 cup of chicken broth instead.

I'm craving food but I keep thinking just a few more days, just a few more days and it will all be okay. This is a really tough day for me. I went out to lunch with friends today and i had a couple of sips of vegetable broth too.  I think I need to drink some more water today and I'll be okay.

I'm also struggling with my decision to have the RNY surgery over the lapband. I was pretty convinced in my head when I first saw my PCP that I wanted to the lapband over a year ago. Since then I've changed my mind after I attended a symposium on the two surgeries. I just don't think I can deal with the constant fills with the lapband and I really think I would cheat more with the lapband that the RNY.  What I'm worried the most about is complications from the surgery ...

Oh Em Gee!!

SEVEN days to go. I can't believe how fast it is sneaking up on me.  I'm having such a hard time with food right now, I can't stop wanting all the stuff that I was just eating a week ago.  This is tough stuff! 

I think my biggest problem is the routines that I would have that I can't follow anymore.  Usually, I get up, have a bowl of cereal and do my errands for the day.  While I was out, I always picked up lunch through a fast food place and finished up whatever I needed to do. I would always eat and drive. And tonight, I was off with my husband at our usual late night appt and we always used to stop by and pick up Carl's Jr. on the way home and we drove right by ... I'm sooo used to that. I'm having to kick my system in the booty because I can't do that routine anymore.

I went to a WLS support group last night. It was really inspiring to see some of the women who have lost a lot of weight with less than 1 year post op.  Wow, these women are looking good! 

I can't believe that it's only 8 days until my RNY. I'm really nervous and I'm trying to make sure I have everything I need to get done at the house. Living with two boys doesn't help, lol.

I thought I had my vitamins all done and collected, but after further research it looks like I don't have what I need. I'm going to order specific vitamins for WLS patients today.

I've been talking to my mom lately, she had RNY done about 4 years ago and she's doing great on it.  She's gained a little weight back, but still looks good.