ObesityHelp

Well, I have spent the first thirty years of my life battling my
weight...I have decided I will not spend the next thirty years doing the same thing. I have taken my first step...I have an appt. with my PCP next week (5/3/00). I know I have her full support, I tried having this surgery two years ago but was turned down by my insurer (CHP/Kaiser Permanente...Thank God they have left the state!!) I have talked with Ginny at Dr. Spaulding's office, she was really nice and supportive. She did say that my new insurer, MVP, isn't the easiest to get approval from...but if the Dr. gives the ok that I'm a candidate for surgery..they will battle for me. Here we go!!!

05-03-00 Had my appt with my PCP today, that went very well!! Stopped into the surgeons office to hand deliver my referral...that didn't go as well. I was told that they were not scheduling new consultations until September!!! I think I will check to see if the wait is as long with other surgeons in my surrounding area! Anyone who would like to email me and tell me what their timeline before surgery was, I would appreciate it!!!

05-06-00 Called around to surgeons in neighboring states who are covered by my insurance...seems like it's a waiting game with everyone around here!!! Guess I'll just have to remember "Good things come to those who wait!" I want to try and lose some weight to make getting around this summer (on the golf course!) a little easier. I only want to lose about 15 to 20 pounds but I'm afraid I won't qualify for surgery!...What a weird concept, for the first time in my life I might not be fat enough!?!

06-13-00 Finally have my appt. for my first consult with the surgeon....10-17-00!! Only 126 days to go!

07-13-00 Waiting, waiting, waiting....I think I'm going to go crazy!!! I've tried to keep myself busy doing as much research as possible, everyone here on AMOS has been so wonderful!!! It has definately made the waiting a little more bearable. There is so much useful information here, I'm sure once I finally get to see the surgeon for the first time, I will be able to teach her a thing or two!!:) My attempt to lose a couple pounds this summer has completely backfired!! I have gained 20 lbs! I feel awful and look even worse!! I made the mistake of going shopping for clothes last night, since I've "grown" out of everything I have, nothing fit right, nothing looked right! I ended up buying an "other side" dress, something small and sexy that I will be able to wear NEXT summer...ohhhh I can't wait! To be so close, but still so far!!

08-09-00 FRUSTRATION!! I just found out from my surgeon's office that I probably won't be scheduled for surgery until spring because they are so busy!!! This is so aggrivating! If I lived any place else in this country I would be post op by now!!! But because this is the only surgeon in the state and the only surgeon approved by my insurance company, I am completely up against it! I guess the only thing I can do, is go into my first consultation with the surgeon and impress her that I know for certain this is what I want and I've researched this completely. And hope they can put me on a cancellation list!!! In the meantime....I'm getting bigger!! ;(

10-17-00 I finally met with my surgeon today, and I feel SOOOOOO much better. I still don't like the timeline (Surgery probably won't be scheduled until February) but at least now that I have talked with her and her staff, I know what I am dealing with!!!

11-07-00 I have a surgery date!!!!! 03-02-01...only 114 days to wait!:) :( I'm so happy to finally KNOW it will be a reality but it is so hard to have to wait!! I'm going to try and stay positive...keep myself busy. I'm moving into a new condo this weekend, so decorating etc will take a little time. Then getting thru the holidays will be interesting. Ah well..at least I will be thinner by summer!! Thanks for everyones support! I will never be able to express how everyone's kind words has made me feel...you've gotten me thru till now...just a little longer!!

12-27-00 I just got a call from my surgeon's office and they have moved my surgery date to 02-13-01!! Yea!!! only 48 days to go!! I'm so excited..two less weeks to wait! I would love it if it were tomorrow! Getting thru the holidays were kinda rough, having nothing to wear to parties that looked good, feeling guilty for eating too much, and trying to avoid getting my picture taken...All will be different next year!!! :)

01-25-01 19 days left and my surgeon's office still hasn't sent my paperwork to the insurance company for approval yet! They have no idea how much this is stressing me out!! I would like to spend these last couple of days before surgery getting myself mentally ready and be as calm as possible - now I spend hours a day worrying if I'm going to be approved, or not having enough time to get additional information to the ins. co. and the surgery date will be postponed...ahhh! I'm miserable! I've gained so much weight waiting for surgery, my appearance is awful, people who haven't seen me in a while almost can't mask their reaction to how much I have gained. I can't wait until I can astound them with how much I have lost! God help me thru this time! Thanks to all who have sent along encouraging words!! :)

01-29-01 I'M APPROVED!!!! I just called my insurance company to see if the surgeon's office had gotten around to faxing the forms yet and I was told that authorization had already been given!! PHEW!!! Now I can finally get down to business of actually worrying about the surgery itself!:) Only 15 days now!

02-12-01 'Twas the night before surgery....I am soooooo excited!
But, surprisingly not nervous! Maybe it will hit me in the morning? I can't believe it is finally here, all the waiting is finally coming to an end! Pre-ops were a breeze! I hope everything tomorrow goes as easily! Thank you to everyone for your supportive emails!! I don't know how I would have made it through without this site!!! And to those of you who are pre-op and reading this...no matter what the outcome...you have to believe you are giving yourself the greatest gift possible...put
yourself in God's hands and everything will be fine!! :)

02-21-01 I made it!! And I have to confess...it wasn't that bad!
The morning of surgery, I still wasn't nervous. My Mom brought me to the hospital at 6am and waited with me until they wheeled me to the O.R., she looked as nervous as I should have been. Once I was in the O.R. everything went really quick, they told me exactly what they were going to do before they did it, and before I knew it, they were telling me to think a happy thought and the next thing I knew, I was in recovery! I have to say, when the pain hit me, it was surprising, but I was so out of it I would just keep falling back to sleep. My surgeon says she had a conversation with me in recovery but I don't remember it! Once I woke up again in my room, they had the morphine pump hooked up and we started finding a good amount for me, it only hurt when I moved, so I tried not to move too much!! But eventually the drugs started doing their job and by early afternoon I was sitting up! Everyone that came to see me that afternoon was surprised that I was looking "normal" but I really wasn't feeling bad at all. That evening they got me up to walk around, I didn't walk very far, but it felt like I accomplished something! I put it in my head that I was going to push myself and not just let myself lie there. I had the roommate from hell!!! She was an older lady who had had abdominal surgery the same day I did, but her attitude was awful, she wanted everyone to do things for her instead of doing for herself, and complained constantly! Spent three days in the hospital, and then came home to rest some more. I am really surprised by how little pain I feel! My incision is really small! Only about 5 inches, and is looking better than I imagined. I don't know if I want to trust it, but according to my scale, it says I have lost 22lbs in 8 days!! I won't get too psyched until I weigh myself on the doctor's scale, that's the official one!! I'm having a hard time finding what I want to eat, my doctor keeps her patients on a blenderized diet for 4 weeks, and there is only so much applesauce and mashed potatoes I can stand! I have to push myself to eat something, because as weird as it seems, I would rather not eat!!

03-19-01 Wow, what a trip it's been...I just read thru my profile and can't believe I 've come this far! I've lost 38lbs in 5 weeks...amazing!! I'm feeling great! I've had troubles with a couple of foods, but it is a learning process and I'll know better next time! Went out to dinner for the first time the other night with my family...it was nice to feel "normal" for a while...although my sisters kept asking me if I was OK every other bite I took, they were more nervous with me having a problem with something than I was! I had my first soda today.. oh it was good...but I've been told I shouldn't make a habit of it because it can cause the stoma to enlarge! till next time...!

04-21-01 Just a quick "HI" It's been 10 weeks and I'm down 56 lbs
which is great...but I have to stop this habit of jumping on the scale everyone morning..talk about being spoiled...I get all upset when it doesn't go down everyday!! Still experimenting with different foods...Had a McDonalds hamburger the other day..it was ok, but I don't think I'll go out of my way to have another! Why bother!?! Had a little problem last month, kept getting sick everytime I ate...the doctor decided it was probably ulcers because I wasn't eating often enough, as soon as I made a concious effort to eat a little something (cracker, grapes or whatever) every 2 hours, the problem went away! Now it seems like I'm always eating!! The only difference between now and pre-op is that all the things I eat are good for me! bye for now! :)

05-18-01 Had my check up with Dr. Spaulding on the 15th, I've lost 69lbs and my cholesterol is down to 177 from 233!! Feeling really good! I definately have to start going to the gym! I'm very soft and mushy all over! I have started playing golf again, it was nice to walk 18holes and not feel like I needed oxygen afterwards!! All my clothes are way too big, I haven't decided if I'm ready to buy new stuff yet...Not having any problems with any foods, experimenting alot, mexican food works real well..the hotter the better!

06-15-01 down another 13lbs from the last posting total of 82lbs gone forever! It's really neat to hear the comments from people who are noticing how different I look! I've started back to the gym, trying to go at least 3 days a week, and I walk around my neighborhood for 30 minutes each morning, hopefully this will help with the sagging skin...I'm starting to look like a deflated balloon!! And my hair is falling out in handfuls! Good thing I've got at ton of hair to begin with, but I should definately start taking some Biotin, heard that works wonders! Absolutely still the best decision I ever made to have this surgery...my life is sooooo much better than it was a year ago at this time! yeah!!!

07-17-01 Total of 95lbs gone forever!! Things are going well, although I keep driving myself crazy thinking I've got a staple line disruption because I think I eat too much...I'm really not, but I will have a discussion with Dr S when I see her next month just to be sure! Another thing I will chat with her about is getting a referral for a tummy tuck! I love how I am looking, but between my tummy and my boobs...oh boy gravity sucks!!

08-22-01 I've lost 105lbs!!!!! I can't believe it! My actual weight finally is the same as what my drivers license says!!:)
Everything is going great! I had a check up with my surgeon yesterday and she made me feel better about my fears of a staple line disruption, she says what I'm eating is exactly what I should be eating, and I'm lucky that I can eat the variety of foods that I can. Also, because I am aware of it is half the battle...I have to remember this surgery is just a tool, it's still up to me to put the fork down! So many people are noticing and complimenting me on my weight loss, it's so different to get so much positive attention...especially from the men! :)

10-01-01 Total loss is now 115! Yipee! I've gotten a ton of emails from people asking me for an updated photo...I don't have one! I actually haven't had one taken! I saw a picture the other day that was taken at a party I went to, and I was in the corner of the pic...I couldn't believe it was me! I will definately have one taken soon! Still having to be concious of what I'm eating constantly! I tend to eat a little more than I should and eat things I really shouldn't...but as my skinny sister reminded me...welcome to the real world...everyone has to make food decisions like that every day! I can eat really small pieces of pie and usually one cookie, I dump a little but not too bad...I just have to tell myself it's ok to have those things every once in a while...but not everyday! The weight loss has slowed to about 8lbs or so a month, which is fine, I knew it would slow down alot as I got closer to my goal...I'm about 30lbs to goal...but if I only lose 10 more I will be happy, especially if I have my tummy tuck and breast lift! It's fun buying new clothes and wearing things I haven't worn in years..but it's getting expensive! Ah well...problems I wished for a year ago!

02-13-02 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN A WHOLE YEAR!! I can't describe how different my life is now...I almost can't remember how I lived before being so heavy! I haven't lost anything in 3 months! I weigh myself every morning, I go up a pound sometimes but never below 180...I weighed 301 the day of surgery...so to lose 121 pounds is quite an accomplishment! When I tell people I would like to lose another 30 lbs. they look at me funny and say "from where?" so it's nice to know I look "normal" I work out 3-4 times a week, both with free weights and cardio. I know if I want the scale to move I will have to keep up with the exercise and really watch what I eat...I'm kinda bad with that! I don't constantly eat bad things...but I don't obsess about dieting and that is kinda nice! I get in enough water but I could get in more...I get in a good amount of protein but I could cut out some more carbs...I'm a carb-addict I know this! I'm still convinced at times that I have a SLD when I have eaten what I think is too much... but then I think it's because I insist on drinking with my meals that I can eat the amounts that I do...and I do "graze" at times...but you know what?...the fact that the scale hasn't moved proves to me that I've got the maitenance thing down pretty good...I'm using the "tool" but I could use it better...For me this surgery has broken what I call "the cycle" I could never do anything about my weight because I would get too overwhelmed about something else...I was depressed about my social life, or stressed about work and I couldn't change any of them because of my weight...a never ending cycle.
Now that I've lost the weight, my outlook on life is so much more positive! I feel like I can accomplish anything!!
I have an appt. in early April with a plastic surgeon to talk about tummy tucks and boob lifts...that would be nice! I will try an get an updated pic on here soon...I have to say having this surgery was the best thing I have ever done! Good luck to all you pre-ops...I know the waiting sucks..I SO remember the waiting! but it will be SO worth it! Hugs! :)

04-29-02 I LOVE MY INSURANCE COMPANY!! I just found out that I have been approved for my tummy tuck!!! I can't believe it! I was so ready for a fight...I had all my info ready to go for an appeal...and here it is, not yet two weeks from when I met with the plastic surgeon and I have approval...no additional information needed!! I probably won't have surgery until the fall, but that's fine...just knowing that it's going to happen is so great!! I'm having the surgeon's office get back to me with the price to have the boob lift at the same...we already know there is no way the ins. co. would pay for that!! So, I'm dancing around...just when I thought life couldn't get any better! WOWWEEE!!!!

09-18-02 Well...alot has been happening since I last posted. I decided that I would not be competely happy with my appearance if I didn't have my breasts done along with my tummy tuck. I spoke with my plastic surgeon and she refused to do the two procedures together and gave me an estimate of $8500 to have the breast life done sometime after the tummy tuck. Ugh! No way I could ever afford that! Since I live close to Montreal I started checking with plastic surgeons there. Although the cost was much more affordable ($4500 to $5000) I did not feel comfortable with any of them. I really like my plastic surgeon, she is very well respected in this area and everyone I have spoke to who had procedures done with her had nothing but praise for her abilities. So I wrote her a letter explaining how important it was to me to have the breast lift done, and how I couldn't afford it at her current rate and asked her to reconsider her decision to do the procedures together. I guess it made the right impression on her...she agreed! I am having my tummy tuck and breast lift (with implants) done next week (9/26)
By combining the surgeries the cost to me will only be $5000. Get out the credit card! Wow...I can't believe it's really going to happen! Wish me luck...I'll make sure to post after the surgery to give everyone a detailed account of how things went!

11-05-02 Sorry I haven't updated in so long! Had the tummy tuck and breast lift...without the implants...done as scheduled on 9/26. My surgeon decided during the procedure that my breasts looked so good after the lift that I didn't NEED the implants! I have to say I am very satisfied with the results! I look down and can't believe it's my body! The tummy tuck went very well also...although the recovery is slow. I had to take alot more time off than I expected due to fluid issues...my drains didn't come out for 4 weeks! And I developed an infection in one of the drain sites. But even with the little set backs it has been so worth it! I love the way I look...and lost another 12 lbs to boot! :)

08-19-2003 Wow...where have I been? Livin' life! I can remember a time when I was on this site hours everyday, now it's been months since I visited! Well things are going well...I can eat anything and everything....and do!! I'm a little piglet! I have gained 19 lbs in the past year...not freakin out about it though. I go back and forth about going on a diet to lose those 19 lbs....I'm not unhappy with how I look and Dr. S isn't concerned with the gain, especially since I've been the same weight for the past 5 months. She says my body has found it's "set" weight and it's up to me if I want to do anything about it. I like feeling like a "normal" person, making food choices...right now I'm eating chocolate covered pretzals...I don't eat them all the time...just when I feel like it! Hey, I had a salad for lunch! It's all about balancing it out. Some how those decisions were not so easy to make before surgery...I always chose to eat...now I have other things going on and food doesn't have the same importance! Well, have to go...anyone who has any questions...or needs a little support..let me know! Hugs!

8-24-04 Another year has passed...and having the surgery was still the best thing I could have ever done for myself! Unfortuneately this has not been a good year...my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in February of this year and passed away in late July. Needless to say it was a very stressful time and I definitely went back to my old ways of eating....to much comfort food! I have gained 23 pounds since last year! Ouch! I don't like the way I look right now and I am working very hard on getting it off! I know I have been given a great tool with this surgery and I have to get back to using it! No more M&M's when I'm feeling down...no more pasta, pizza etc. I have to excercise more and eat less! Easy right!?! It really is...I don't feel overwhelmed by the 30 or so pounds I would like to lose...it's no longer the 130 I once had to lose...I just have to get off my butt and do it. Now that life has calmed down I have to get back to taking care of me! We all need to remember to love ourselves first...and love yourself enough to be healthy! Wish me luck and I send you luck too!! Hugs! :) 
 
04-04-07 Phew...haven't been here in a while!  And it's avoidance...coming here would mean I would have to admit that I have failed.  I have gained 65 lbs from my lowest weight.  I keep trying to justify that I still look better than I did at 300 - but the fact of the matter is that I have let my self go and if I don't stop it...I WILL gain it all back.  To that end, I had my surgeon scope me on Monday (4/2) and we found that the stoma had stretched to twice the size it should be.  And the reason it had stretched is because of my eating habits.  Early on I developed the nasty habit of drinking when I ate.  I always had to have a big glass of Chrystal lite or soda when I ate and after each bite would take a nice big swig.  Well of course this was just pushing the food right out of my stomach into the intestines - stretching the stoma, letting me eat twice as much as I should have and alot of the time cramping in the intestines because too much food was trying to be digested there.
So - my doctor performed a procedure called Schlerotherapy.  The stoma is injected with a medication to cause swelling and then scar tissue causing the stoma to close up, hopefully back to it's normal size.  And I think at this point it is working!  It has only been four days and I can tell that the amount I can take in is far less than before!!  And of course I am NOT drinking with my meals!!  I hope this will put me back on the right path - I have also started therapy to get "my head screwed back on straight - I'll keep you posted on how it goes!!