ObesityHelp

I am searching for answers I just dont have. I am trying so hard to get approved for wls and Im reading information on it and calling all the doctor's I can. I sit here and wait day in and day out in hopes to find some help. I am on Medicaid so the approval process for wls is rough... My thoughts have been revolving around wls for a few months now. I struggle to sleep, all I can think of is what are the doctors going to say are they going to support me and help me get approved? Possibly there is no chance for me. I am scared of the outcome Im going to have to face if I dont get approved for wls. I am so young and I am scared to die. Of course everyone does I just wish I could live longer then what Im going to now If I continue down this path. 

I want to be a good mom for my daughter. Not saying I am horrible, but what feels horrible is going to a park with your kid and friends. One of your friends chasing and playing with your kid because you dont have the ability to do it yourself. Then having other people ask your friend questions about your kid because they dont realize that it's not one of your friends kids. I want to be active for her. I want to be able to laugh and smile, I want to look in the mirror and see a person not a blob with a head, and most of all I want to dance!!!!!!!

I know if I dont get approved I will just continue to be sick everday. Im tired of suffering in pain. I am tired of not being able to do anything with my friends because I am either vomiting or sitting on the pot. I am tired of going to the doctor and finding something new wrong with me. I just want to be normal and I want to feel how it is to be happy. 10yrs I have felt pain and only glimses of happiness but I want it there everyday of my life... I need it there more then anything. Im tired of suffering this is my last hope. I know I am not a lost cause but I didnt grow up in a wealthy family so if I dont get approved through Medicaid then I know I can never get financed I just dont have the credit. Plus my health is so bad I can work nor can I go to college which I dream about doing and I was accepted but it puts a burden on my heart because I know most days I will be to sick to go. So I am putting off college till I get approved for surgery and lose some weight so I can be in good condition. My whole life rely's on this as sad as it may sound. Where to turn and what to do??? I guess all I can do is wait.