My post-RNY life has become so natural to me that I sometimes forget that I had the surgery until mealtimes.  I find myself not thinking about it every waking moment like I was just a few short months ago.  By my 6 month anniversary I lost 104 lbs and have dropped from a size 30 to a size 20.  I have so much more energy and am feeling much more comfortable in my own skin. 

In the past every weight loss attempt has been derailed by something in my life.  It didn't have to be something bad, just something that got me off my schedule, away from my focus, a distraction that would eventually end up with me gaining all my weight back and more.  I have had a major life altering event occur this month which has me more certain than ever that without the surgery I would be derailed and on my way back to 372 lbs.  I have found out that I will be laid off my job and will need to sell my house and relocate elsewhere.  My life has been in a tailspin, but my diet and weight have not been affected by it for the 1st time in my life.  That is an amazing realization.  Plus the new smaller self image of myself has given me a big boost in self confidence at interviews, knowing that I will not be viewed as a fat, lazy employee.  As a result I have secured a new job already with a great relocation package that will take most of my stress away.  I can't tell you how sure I am that the situation would be quite different without my RNY.

I officially met another goal this week.  I weigh less than my boyfriend, which has never been the case for our 8 year relationship.  He did make it a little easier by gaining about 10 lbs since my surgery, but I would have caught him soon anyway.  I am concerned that he is gaining weight by eating the food I am not eating these days.  I have talked to him about it but he doesn't seem too concerned.  Men seem to be able to hit the gym and drop weight quickly, but I hope he doesn't ignore the problem and let it get out of control like I did.  All any of can do is try to offer insight, but just as each of us have had our own journey, he will have to have his too.

That's all I have this month!  I need to improve on my exercise, so that will be my goal for next month.  Here's to surpassing my expectations over the next 6 months as well.  What an amazing ride!

It is amazing how the time flies these days.  Last Wednesday was my 5 month anniversary from surgery and I could not be happier.  I have lost 96 lbs total (84 since surgery) which is amazing!  Every day people are commenting on how great I look and say I am like a new person.  I am officially half way to my goal weight of 180 lbs (I am 6’0”) and only 4 lbs away from being in the 100 lb club.  I am now at my lowest weight since my 20’s and it feels incredible.  

Beside my weight loss, everything else in my life has been falling apart, so my stress level should be through the roof, but somehow I feel so much better about things and seem to be taking everything in stride nowadays.   I am certain the weight loss has a lot to do with that.  Even if everything in my life falls to pieces, somehow I feel like it is God’s way of saying, new you…time to start a new life.  I will be fine!

I had to break down and buy a few outfits a few weeks ago.  My mom got tired of seeing me with all my clothes sagging on me and she took me shopping.  I am going to the Outer Banks in a few months and need a new swim suit.  I normally dread shopping for swim suits because I always hate everything at I leave feeling nothing less than nauseated.  I grabbed 2 suits in size 20 thinking they would be tight (I started off at 30/32 before surgery) and when I tried them on I was shocked that they fit, and actually looked pretty good.  I was so happy I bought them both since they were half off.  As far as pants and tops, I am wearing size 20 or 22 depending on the brand.  Since I thought I was in 24s, it was a really great shopping day.  I have a mountain of clothes to bring to Goodwill and my closet is getting more and more empty.  I have gone from not having anything to fit because everything is too small to the same problem because everything is too big.

I went to the surgeon for my follow up a few weeks ago.  All my labs looked really good except for my Vitamin D which was a little low.  I was low on Vit D before the surgery, so this was no shock.  I have added over the counter Vitamin D to my daily vitamins and kept everything else the same.  I have also switched from chewables to pills last a few weeks ago, which has been an adjustment.  They are much less expensive but you have to take them more frequently and getting so many pills into my little pouch 1^st thing in the morning has been uncomfortable at times.

I am still struggling with pains in my tummy at times when it is empty, but the carafate seems to help.  I was trying to just eat a small high protein snack instead when it started hurting, but the pain would come back a little while later.  I hope I am not going to end up with an ulcer.  Hopefully the carafate will prevent that from happening.  When the pain gets bad, I get back on the normal dosing schedule, and it seems to get better in a day or two.  Then I just go back to taking it only as needed.  I will discuss this again with the surgeon next time I see him in October.

Other than the occasional tummy pain, I have had no other issues whatsoever.  I still feel that weight loss surgery is the best thing I could have done for myself and I have no regrets.  I am getting more and more of my life back with each pound lost and unless you have lost out on as much life as many of us have, I don’t know if anyone else could ever completely understand how much that is worth.  I can’t wait to see where I am at after 1 year.  This is incredible!!

Before my surgery I was overcome by the fear that I may never again be able to participate in holidays and festivities in the same way if I could not participate in the feeding frenzy that normally accompanied these events with my family and friends.  Sunday was my 4 month anniversary from my date of surgery, and I have to admit, it almost went by without me even noticing.  I was so busy planning my 4^th of July cookout for friends that it did not even enter my mind, which is really incredible since for the 1^st few months all I could do was focus on my surgery, my diet and the scale.  For the 1st time since surgery, I planned my menu as I normally would in the past with chicken kabobs, bratwurst, pasta salad, fruit salad, deviled eggs, pepperoni pizza puffs and hummingbird cupcakes.  Not entirely WLS friendly, but to my suprise, I was not tempted by the foods that were bad for me.  In fact, I did not miss them at all!  I did have plenty options to eat and I never felt left out in the least.  I ate a small chicken kabob, a deviled egg and a tiny bite of the salads.  I have realized that I enjoy cooking now more than actually eating, and get more enjoyment watching others enjoy meals I prepare for them. Crazy, hua?  My eating habits have become more natural now and I don’t find myself sitting looking at menus longing for the days I could eat ½ of a large pizza at one sitting.  I don’t miss gorging myself with potato chips and soda while lounging around watching TV and don’t even miss the large tub of popcorn at the movie theater. I am so much happier being in the theater fitting comfortably in my seat, being able to sit in my living room and get off the couch with much less effort, and fitting easily into any seat in any restaurant.

Though my weight loss has slowed quite a bit, it is still coming off steadily.  I am down 82 lbs total, 70 lbs since my surgery 4 months ago.  I am in the smallest sizes of clothes I have in my closet and will need to buy more once these are too big.  I figure I can stretch it for about another couple of months.  The pile of clothes for Goodwill is growing larger every day and I am trying to decide whether I want to keep an old pair of jeans to remind me where I came from, but part of me wants to just get rid of it all and never look back.  I go for my next follow up with the doctor in 2 weeks, and I am looking forward to seeing my nutrition levels.  For the most part I am feeling pretty good.  I did have an issue a few weeks ago when I decided to walk a 5K with people at work for the 1^st time.  I felt fine during the walk, though it was rather hot.  Once I finished and sat down for a few minutes and when I stood up again, my vision went completely blurry and I got a little dizzy.  I spoke with the nurse at work and was told that is was more than likely low blood sugar.  I ate a small breakfast, but it is possible that the tiny amount of food I ate was not enough to sustain me through a walk that was a bit more than I have been accustomed to.  Next time I will drink a protein shake as well before doing something like that.  Every now and then I will stand up and get a little dizzy but it passes quickly.  I am not entirely sure if my blood sugar is getting a bit low, if my blood pressure is a little low, or if  I am somehow vitamin deficient.  I will talk to my doctor about it when I see him.  Other than that I feel great!

I am beginning to feel more comfortable in my own skin, and I cannot tell you how incredible that feels.  I went swimming in a friends pool with friends without being mortified of letting them see me in a bathing suit, I can sit with my legs crossed again, I don’t feel morbidly obese anymore and don’t feel people looking at me with disgust, I am learning to accept compliments on my appearance and even enjoy putting on clothes without getting frustrated with how they fit.  What a difference 4 months has made.  The best way I can describe it is that the old me is beginning to come more into focus.  It has affected my body, my mind and my spirit; and it is noticeable to everyone around me.  My RNY has done so much more than move the scale in the right direction.  My brother said it best a few weeks ago when he called my mom to tell her that he loves his "new" sister.  Not just the weight loss, but the new person I am becoming from the inside out.  I guess I never realized how much I had changed over the years as a result of my weight gain.  All this excess weight has has been suffocating me both physically and emotionally.  I have come to realize that missed the real me.  I nearly forgot who she was!  Being held hostage by the severly overweight and overly cautious me I created over the years, who was designed to not draw attention to myself to avoid being hurt or embarrased.  That person is slowly being pushed aside to let the girl I once was back in to run the show. All this time I had convinced myself that my weight was only a physical limitation, boy was I wrong.  It's like I not only had WLS but also brain surgery in a way.  Now that was something I didn't count on, but it has been one awesome side effect!