I haven't been on in a while.  But thought I would write my one year update and add my new photos.  The weight hasn't been really coming off but at least I am maintaining it.
  I have added my before and after pictures to date finally. I have also written the inches lost below.  On paper it feels like a lot but when I look in the mirror it doesn't seem like that much.

    Starting                1 Year Later            Total Lost
 

     Weight                    319                        216                    103 Pounds 

Bust                        58 in                    45 ½ in                  12 ½ in

Mid Section           56 ¼ in                  40 in                       16 ¼ in 

Waist                     55 ¾ in                  40 ½ in                  15 ¼ in 

Belly/Hip              65 ¼ in                  47 ¾ in                  17 ½ in

U. Arms                21 in                       18 in                         3 in 

Thighs                   35 in                       23 ¼ in                  11 ¾ in 

U. Thighs             35 ¼ in                  24 ½ in                    9 ¾ in

Calfs                      21 in                       17 in                         4 in

Total Combined Inches Lost:  90 Inches                                  

 

So this has been a very difficult year.  There were new things to learn...what to eat, what not to eat..how much to eat...to excersise a certain way...to retrain my mind on food....retrain my mind on my body image...learning to overcome being a stress eater (still working on that one!)...learning to overcome my unconscious eating (boy am I still working on this one too!)...learning to stop eating when I am full instead of finishing what's on my plate....learning proper portion control.  I will have to work on all of these things my entire life.  I honestly thought this surgery was going to be a magic cure..that the weight would just melt off with ease.  Boy, was I ever wrong.  This has been ALOT of hard work..triumps and failures.  It gets harder every day...you start slipping into your old habits and have to really make an effort to pick your choices wisley. I will be the first to rat myself out...I have had bad days with bad choices.  I have made myself sick  because I ate more that I should have..I even thought one day it was ok to eat some chocolate brownie...WRONG!  I got very sick from it.  I knew not to eat it...but my mind was like...it's ok...it won't hurt you.     But it is a learning experience that is for sure.


 

Most people that have surgery have follow up help and they are kept on track.  Me...not so much.  My doctor left to Alabama after my 3 month check up.  I haven't seen a doctor since.  No one will see me. They said since I had the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (which seems no one does but my doctor in entire area around New Mexico) and that another doctor did the surgery...they won't touch me...unless I have major complications.  I told them I am fine and I haven't had any problems so they won't see me.   So I have been traveling this road alone without medical or clinical support.  Thank goodness I have had Jon, my girls, my dad, my cousin and my best friend the entire road.  It has been an emotional ride. 


 

I was very excited to finally change my life...to get healthy...to make my family proud (I have had fat jokes my entire life..and even got them this Easter ), to overcome my past, to gain self-esteem and to be able to do things with Jon and my girls.  I have been dissapointed in some areas and thrilled in others.  I probably shouldn't be saying this but it has been eating at me and I have been extremely hurt by it but my brothers and sister-in-law haven't said anything about my weight loss.  I sent pictures and nothing.  I have seen them and nothing.  I had to ask one of them if he even noticed I had lost and he said yes.  That's it.  I am at a high in my life and feel that I have worked hard and I should get the acknowledgement for my accomplishments from them. My eintire life all I wanted was the approval of my family and never had it..to them...I was a total screw up and a failure.  One poor choice after another.  I never felt like I was good enough for anything or anyone. Maybe this isn't the way they feel...but that is the way it comes across to me. I used to eat for comfort, ate when I was stressed and ate when I was depressed and it was a horrible habit that I got into.  I have worked very hard to overcome that.  I haven't made it yet..but at least I am more aware of it then I used to be.  Jon notices when I start doing it and brings it to my attention when I don't see it.


 

Jon has been my knight in shining armor through this ENTIRE process. We had just started dating April 4, 2007.  I made the decision in September of 2007 that I was going to do this surgery.  I was afraid to tell him at first or anyone else because I was ashamed that I had to go this route to lose the weight.  I started the pre-ops in October and Jon was there every step of the way.  He drove me to my pre-ops, went with me to doctor visits, drove me to Lubbock to meet with the surgeon, for the surgery and for the follow up.  He was supportive the entire time..not once did he say you shouldn't do it.  He was scared for me to do it but didn't let on...of course...I knew it.  He wanted me to feel comfortable and wanted to support me so he never put his doubts out there for me to see. We had only been dating 6 months when all the test started..so not only did we deal with the new dating issues but we had the surgery issues.  He never waivered!  My eldest daughter wanted to go for the surgery so Jon said it was ok and he would watch her for me so she could go.  He was wonderful!  They were there the morning I got wheeled in and waited in the waiting room off an on all day.  I was put in intensive care so they could only visit for short periods of time so most of the time they were out of my room for both days.  I do remember, however, the day after surgery that my lovely daughter and wonderful boyfriend were having a great laugh and wonderful time at MY expense.   They said I was so dopped up on the morphine that they couldn't help laugh at me.  Glad I could lighten the mood for them while I was in severe pain!  Ha Ha   I almost didn't get to check out the day after the surgery because I was having complications but they finally let me go that evening.  Dawnielle and Jon took me to the hotel room and went and got my mediation and jellos.  Nothing tasted good and everything tasted metalic!   I couldn't lay down very well and had a hard time getting up.  Everytime I went to get up...Jon got up with me.  I told him to go back to sleep that I would be fine and he wouldn't do it.  He looked soooo tired and I felt so bad for him.  I know it couldn't have been easy for him. Everytime I tried to roll a bit he would try to help me.  Oh boy was I miserable.  Jon said I kept asking him in the hospital if it was worth it.  I was in so much pain, I couldn't breathe, my blood pressure was up, my sugar levels were up and they kept giving me insulin...honestly...I was not in a good place.  But I wouldn't change it for anything!  It was one of the best choice I have ever made.  I love you baby...thank you for everything!


 

I feel more confident.  I'm no longer dwelling on the abuse I received in the past and I no longer believe that I am not worthy of more. I know I am worthy of alot of good things in life. The depression is gone, the high blood pressure is gone, the sleep apnea is almost completely gone, the type 2 diabetis is gone.  I am feeling great!  I still have a long way to go..but I am a little over half way to my goal.


 

I have become more active since the weight loss and my self-esteen has improved.  I did the American Lung Associations Stair Climb (486 steps in 10 minutes and 33 seconds), I am doing the Breast Cancer Walk next weekend and I will be participating in the Mud Volleyball Fundraiser for the Tingley Hospital in June.  When Jon and I went to Las Vegas, I walked from the Mirage all the way down to New York New York and back...I actually out walked Jon.  The only reason we stopped walking was because he was tired.  Poor guy..and it was about 1:00 AM.  Jon used to have to walk very slow for me and wait on me.  I had a hard time just walking from my car to my apartment and it wasn't that far but I could hardly breathe when I got to the door.


 

So if anyone is thinking about having the surgery and have reservations...please take my advice and have the surgery.  There will be many question and many fears that you will have but just keep faith.  I kept telling my self over and over the saying I have by my picture about fear..just keep telling it to yourself over and over.  You will become more positive and have the confidence you need for this journey. 


 

For all of those who have gone through this with me...thank you! Let's just wait and see what this next year brings!  Hopefully the other 73 pounds off but if not..at least 37 pounds of it (little over half). 

I finally did it!  I have now lost 100 pounds and over 90 inches.  It took 9 months and 4 days to get there.  It has been a very difficult journey but one I am so glad that I took.  I still have a long ways to go (74 more pounds) but I am seeing that maybe it is possible.  It’s just taking more time to see the differences than I expected.

The journey has been filled with fear, pain, anxiety, joy, sorrows, laughter, tears, discouragement and today…..three new feeling…..fulfillment, accomplishment  and excitement.  I received the tool I needed to have success but it was only that….a tool.  There truly is no quick fix with weight loss.  This is a journey that could not have been taken without support and encouragement along the way.  I was blessed enough and still am to have this support on my journey. 

I have had the most amazing man by my side this entire time.  Jon has been there with me since I decided to take this journey and has never stopped supporting me.  He was there through all the pre-ops, the surgery, the post-ops, the ups and the downs. He has had calls of joy, confusion, despair and yes…even lots of tears.  He has never wavered with his commitment to support me on this journey.  He is always there with an encouraging word when I am down or a good job…I knew you could do it..when all goes well.  He is my rock!  He is my comfort when I am scared or challenged!  Thank you babe for everything you have done and continue to do for me with every aspect of my life! I Love You!

My daughters have been very supportive of me during this journey.  They always have a….good job mom or …..it takes time mom…it will be ok…you can do it.  Or just a simple…you look so pretty and thin mom.  My dad has also been supportive of me with this.  Every week he asks me how it’s going and wants to know how many more inches or pounds I have lost.  He always tells me that I didn’t put in on overnight so it’s not coming off overnight.  Then there is my cousin, best friend and my nieces who always make comments about how they can tell I’ve lost and give me words of encouragement .  That just does wonders when people make comments about your hard effort.  That’s what you truly, truly need to make it through this journey.  The love and support of others.  So Thank you Dawnielle, Cynthia, Daddy, Reginia, Karen, Jessica and Janelle.  I love you all!

My co-workers have been really great and supportive with me.  I have only been at my new job since October 6^th but they treat me like I have been there for years.  So thank you to all my fellow co-workers…you all defiantly are the best.

Then there is Dr. Eldo Frezza, my surgeon.  I can't thank him enough for everything!  He has been there for me and taken the time to answer all the question I have no matter how silly they were.  I didn't have any complications or side effects from the surgery because of his knowledge and skills as a surgeon. Even after he left his practice in Lubbock and moved far away he still stayed in contact with me through email  That truly means a lot!  Thank you so much for having faith in me and giving me the tool I need to succeed in life.  You are truly a blessing to me!

I will take my “100 pounds lost” photos soon and post them.  Thanks to everyone who has been supportive on this journey!

Can't believe it has been 5 months already.  I am down 79 pounds and 78 1/4 inches.  I finally went through my closet to try on clothes I haven't been able to fit into since forever and believe it or not...they were too big.  I can't believe that.  I packed them all up and will be taking them to a battered women's shelter that is in need of plus size clothes.

I have gone from a 28/30 to a 20/22.  Another 15 pounds and I will be at the weight I was when I got pregnant with my first child at the age of 23.  I'm still losing my hair but hopefully with the vitamins that will soon stop. 

I have added a couple new pictures but just don't get too scared cause I didn't have on any makeup in one of them.  Ha Ha

Hope everyone is doing well.

Well I reached another goal today.  I have now lost 75 pounds and 75 1/4 inches.  I also broke that over 100 pounds to lose goal.  I now only need to lose 99 pounds to reach 5 pounds under the doctor's goal...my goal though.... would still be another 10 pounds under that.

It will be 5 months on the 15th.  I wanted to have more gone by now and feel like I am not losing as fast as others that had surgery but guess we all lose differently. The doctor said I should lose half of the total loss by 6 months which means to hit my goal I would need to lose 87 pounds total by October 15th.  The weight is slower so I'm not sure if I can lose 13 pounds in 39 days.  I hope I can but I only lost 5.6 pounds last month.  But I'm still grateful for every single pound and inch lost!