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Goals

get though week 2 of pre op

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Find a new doctor

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to eat healther

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To feel like people aren't judging me by my size

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dsquire's Blog
dsquire's Blog


WOW!!! I'm a size 8!!!
on September 17, 2010 7:22 am

I can't believe it I'm a size 8. They lady at the store asked what I was looking for, I said I want some boot cut dark jeans. What size she asked? I reply "I think a 10. I don't think I can get in to a 8." She pulls size 8 for me of three different brands. (we know that each brand runs different.) I'm was thinking to myself there is no way I am a 8. I tried those bad boys on and they fit.  My butt has never looked so good in a pair of jeans. Talk about a high. I bought all three pairs. I haven't had jeans fit this well and feel this good. I have to say they are the most  comfortable jeans I have ever worn. Granted I paid more for them then I usually do. But I really don't think I will get any smaller. How much smaller can I get????? I wore a pair of the jeans on a first date last night. He seemed to like them.  And so did a few other people in the area. What a great WOW moment. What a high!!! The only problem is I can't share this with my daughter or my friends. They don't seem to be as excited as I am about my size anymore. My relationships are strained. This has to be the hardest part of this whole surgery for me. I can honestly say I have never felt so alone. Guess it might be time to make some new friends and move on. It's sad. People come into our life's and leave our life's for a reason.
Anyways I'm a size 8 and excited as heck. My body is banging and I feel great.

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I Never thought....
on September 1, 2010 3:22 pm
I never thought I'd be called skinny or tiny.
I never thought I'd feeling more alone after I lost the weight then I did when I was fat, but sometimes I do.
I never thought my weight lose would affect some many life's, but it has. Some good and some bad.
I never thought I'd be able to run, but I can.
I never thought I'd be smaller then my 25 year old daughter.
I never thought I'd ask a doctor if I'm to skinny, but I did today.
I never thought I'd hate when I put on a pair of pants and they are to big, I'm tired of buying clothes.
I never thought I would ever be able to sleep with out a cpap machine, but I do.
I never thought people would treat me so different. It's sad.
I never thought I'd be the smallest out of all my friends.
I never thought I'd miss birthday cake so much.
I never thought I'd be off all me medication.
I never thought I'd look this different.
I never thought I'd like working out.
I never thought my boobs would be this small.
I never thought I would change my Net flex from 3 movies at a time to one, because I can't sit still long enough to watch one much less three.
I never thought I'd have to make myself eat during the day because I'm just not hungry.
I never thought being called to skinny would hurt my feelings just as much as being called fat.
I never thought so many people won't understand.
I never thought this journey was going to be easy or this hard.
I never thought I'd like flying as much as I do. Guess not having to ask for the seat belt extender makes all the difference in the world.
I never thought I'd ever not feel pain in my joints: back, legs, hips, knees.
I never thought I'd want a tummy tuck and a boob job.
I never thought I'd like high heel shoes as much I do. And wear them 5 out of 7 days.
I never thought I'd feel more like a lady.
I never thought I'd like my picture taken.
I never thought I'd be so active.
I never thought I'd like wearing shorts again.
I never thought I'd be thinking about buying a two piece bathing suit.
I never thought I'd hate protein shakes as much as I do.
I never thought that beef jerky, nuts, cheese and chili would be the stables of my diet.
I never thought I'd lose 87% of excess body weight.
I never thought I wouldn't miss fast food.
I never thought I'd be a size 10.
I never thought I'd become shy, but I have.
I never thought I'd enjoy snapping my bra in back so much. Instead of having to snap it in the front and turning it around.
I never thought I'd be able to feel my hip bones.
I never thought I'd catch men checking me out like I do. Now if the single ones would just come up and talk to me.
I never thought I'd be able to wear the last fashions.
I never thought I'd be the person that was cold all the time while everyone else is hot.
I never thought I'd lose so much hair. Thank god it all grew back.
I never thought I'd take some many vitamins in one day.
I never thought I'd use a public pool and feel comfortable.
I never thought I'd enjoy getting on a scale and being weighed.
I never thought I'd be scared to walk into a room of my peers that haven't seen me in sometime, but I am.
I never thought I'd get another tatoo but I did. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Put it on top of my right foot. Hurt like hell and I passed out. But I'd do it again.

I guess never thought.








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