EGSuzie
How do you spell relief?
Oct 30, 2007
I spell it starting with a "B", 'cuz that's what I have in A&P right now at mid-term. Don't get me wrong, an "A" would have been wonderful, but I didn't have such stellar perfomance on the four tests that we have taken so far. I did okay.
God, I hate having to say it like that...it sounds so unambitious. In any case, as long as I can keep my remaining four tests above a "B"...it's all good come grade-time. I don't know how the nursing programs work elsewhere, but here all sciences need to average to a "B" at the minimum to be accepted into any program. Even then, competition is fierce and acceptance is a crap-shoot at best.
In other news, I am nearly two pounds below goal, but I won't consider it "official" until Monday Weigh-Ins. Wow, is all I can think to say. And, WTF? How can I still feel chunky?? Perhaps I'm confusing chunky with flabby ;-)?? Oh well, nothing that can't be improved upon...especially with lots of money and surgical intervention!
God, I hate having to say it like that...it sounds so unambitious. In any case, as long as I can keep my remaining four tests above a "B"...it's all good come grade-time. I don't know how the nursing programs work elsewhere, but here all sciences need to average to a "B" at the minimum to be accepted into any program. Even then, competition is fierce and acceptance is a crap-shoot at best.In other news, I am nearly two pounds below goal, but I won't consider it "official" until Monday Weigh-Ins. Wow, is all I can think to say. And, WTF? How can I still feel chunky?? Perhaps I'm confusing chunky with flabby ;-)?? Oh well, nothing that can't be improved upon...especially with lots of money and surgical intervention!
What a day...
Oct 27, 2007
So, today was the annual Halloween Bash that we have for the kids every year. Lots of money, lots of time, lots of stress...that's what today was...but also LOTS of fun!! Anyway, at last year's party I was telling a friend about having talked to my doctor about this "gastric bypass thing" and how I was checking it out, perhaps hoping to have the surgery done for me. Life has gotten in the way, as it tends to do, and I haven't had a chance to see her since last year's party. So, tonight she pulls up, sees me, does the double-take, and said "Where in the f*ck did you go?? You are totally skinny...I didn't even recognize you when I drove up!" A couple of other people had the same reactions when they saw me...most of them not since last year, either.
It felt sort of strange for me to see such reactions out of people. It was very flattering, and yet made me feel a little weird, if that makes sense. I kept thinking back to last year and how I must have looked to people...not a pleasant image, I can assure you! To know that I have come so far in such a short amount of time is still such a trip for me...I still can't quite get my head around it. I feel good and I am super pleased to be where I am...but, I think that I am having trouble getting the mental part down. I suppose that will just have to come in time. I'm working on it though.
Another odd thing is that I am starting to get the "you really need to eat more, you're wasting away" comments from some people, my husband included. It is driving me crazy!! I know that they mean well, but I am only doing what I am supposed to. I follow my guidelines to the best of my ability and know that I need to start really upping the calories to maintain...I don't want to get too skinny. Because, lets face it, skinny and saggy? Not a good combo! I expect to see my loss really slow down to a trickle, now...so adding more calories will just add to that. I kind of feel like no one ever really tells you what in the hell you are supposed to do when you reach goal. I feel a little lost.
It felt sort of strange for me to see such reactions out of people. It was very flattering, and yet made me feel a little weird, if that makes sense. I kept thinking back to last year and how I must have looked to people...not a pleasant image, I can assure you! To know that I have come so far in such a short amount of time is still such a trip for me...I still can't quite get my head around it. I feel good and I am super pleased to be where I am...but, I think that I am having trouble getting the mental part down. I suppose that will just have to come in time. I'm working on it though.
Another odd thing is that I am starting to get the "you really need to eat more, you're wasting away" comments from some people, my husband included. It is driving me crazy!! I know that they mean well, but I am only doing what I am supposed to. I follow my guidelines to the best of my ability and know that I need to start really upping the calories to maintain...I don't want to get too skinny. Because, lets face it, skinny and saggy? Not a good combo! I expect to see my loss really slow down to a trickle, now...so adding more calories will just add to that. I kind of feel like no one ever really tells you what in the hell you are supposed to do when you reach goal. I feel a little lost.
I did it!!!
Oct 26, 2007
I wanted to meet my weightloss goal by Halloween and as of this morning....I DID IT!!! I even have 5 days to spare!! Also, that means that I have lost 101.5 pounds. It seems so amazing to me that it has taken less than 9 months to do this. I was so excited to see "150.0" on the scale that I took a photo and posted it on my profile...lame, huh
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Ultimately, I now feel healthy, look sooo much better, and I have infinately more energy than I have had in many years...I was too young to feel so old! I look forward to every day and what it has to offer, for me and my family alike. This surgery has given me new life...or maybe just given back the life that I should have had all along. Either way...I am full of gratitude today. Have a fantastic and charmed day!!
??Ultimately, I now feel healthy, look sooo much better, and I have infinately more energy than I have had in many years...I was too young to feel so old! I look forward to every day and what it has to offer, for me and my family alike. This surgery has given me new life...or maybe just given back the life that I should have had all along. Either way...I am full of gratitude today. Have a fantastic and charmed day!!
Weightloss Chart
Oct 16, 2007
I wanted to put this chart in my profile so that I don't have to keep going back and looking for it to see if I am "on track" or not. Looks like I am a couple of months ahead of where I really need to be at this point. So, maybe 142 isn't such a crazy number to aim for afterall.
Key: possible loss of109 lbs after surgery  excess weight youmight keep is 0 lbs  your ideal weightis 142 lbs Possible Weight Loss |
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| Month | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Wt. Loss | 0 | 22 | 44 | 54 | 60 | 65 | 71 | 76 | 82 | 87 | 94 | 98 | 104 | 107 | 109 | 107 | 109 | 108 | 109 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| BMI | 40.5 | 37.0 | 33.4 | 31.8 | 30.8 | 30.0 | 29.1 | 28.2 | 27.3 | 26.5 | 25.3 | 24.7 | 23.7 | 23.2 | 22.9 | 23.2 | 22.9 | 23.1 | 22.9 |
WTH??
Oct 16, 2007
Okay...so we weighed in yesterday. I was surprised to see that I had lost nearly 4 pounds last week. No problem...I'll take it! Then, this morning as usual, I weighed and had lost another pound. I got curious and weighed again a few hours later...another 1/2 pound gone. I now stand at 152 and I was 153.4 just 24 hours ago. WTH is going on? I lost over 5 pounds in 8 days? This far out and close to my goal weight? What are the odds that I will drop 2 more pounds and stop dead in my tracks at 150? Not likely, I think. But, it does make me wonder how low I will end up and how difficult it will be to maintain once I do stop losing.
I am starting to question my personal/surgeon's goal and the "recommended" medical goals I have seen. I have never in my adult life weighed less than 145 or so, that had me in a size 3-5. I don't really know what that would put me in now after 3 kids, 16 years, and lots of extra saggy tummy skin...but I am honestly starting to feel nervous. It seems strange that I would feel "nervous" about being small. I still have to remind myself not to go to the "Woman's" section of the department store to look for clothes. I feel like an imposter shopping in the "normal" sizes. Do people know that I don't belong in that section? Don't they see that I should be buying the plus size pants with the elastic waist for comfort? I am rambling, I know, and this probably makes sense only to me.
I feel like I am out of sorts as of late and I am not quite sure what brought it on. Perhaps the realization that I am .5 pound away from having lost 100 pounds (crap, I really had that much to lose? yikes!). And, perhaps it is the fact that I am 2 pounds from my personal goal of 150. And, even further, perhaps it is the fact that I will most certainly go lower than that goal. Or maybe it's the fact that I am regularly told as of recent that I look like I am in my 20's (yeah...but how old did I look?). I am not feeling like myself, and the problem is that I don't think I know who that is anymore.
I am starting to question my personal/surgeon's goal and the "recommended" medical goals I have seen. I have never in my adult life weighed less than 145 or so, that had me in a size 3-5. I don't really know what that would put me in now after 3 kids, 16 years, and lots of extra saggy tummy skin...but I am honestly starting to feel nervous. It seems strange that I would feel "nervous" about being small. I still have to remind myself not to go to the "Woman's" section of the department store to look for clothes. I feel like an imposter shopping in the "normal" sizes. Do people know that I don't belong in that section? Don't they see that I should be buying the plus size pants with the elastic waist for comfort? I am rambling, I know, and this probably makes sense only to me.
I feel like I am out of sorts as of late and I am not quite sure what brought it on. Perhaps the realization that I am .5 pound away from having lost 100 pounds (crap, I really had that much to lose? yikes!). And, perhaps it is the fact that I am 2 pounds from my personal goal of 150. And, even further, perhaps it is the fact that I will most certainly go lower than that goal. Or maybe it's the fact that I am regularly told as of recent that I look like I am in my 20's (yeah...but how old did I look?). I am not feeling like myself, and the problem is that I don't think I know who that is anymore.
It's Hump Day :-/
Oct 03, 2007
Not much going on...not much to say. My weight is steadily coming off a little at a time, 1-2 pounds per week. It seems to be slooowwwing down. I'm waiting for the plateau or stall to hit! I would like to be at goal by Halloween...we'll see. I'm pretty certain that when (if) I make goal I will lower it....to 140 or 145 at least.
Saw my PCP today for a yearly check up. He was super pleased...thought I was the "poster girl" for WLS in his practice. He originally, about 8 or 9 years ago, thought that it was a crazy idea for doctors to refer patients to this surgery. One of the other doctors in the practice referred someone for surgery and they died, so no one in the practice was eager to send someone off to the same fate. But, over the years he started to open up to it, and ended up learning more about it. So, when I hit him up about the option for me...he was hesitant but very supportive. Now, eight months later...he is, as they say here in CA, stoked about the outcome. But, I did also request that he put me back on Paxil for a trial run. I can't seem to shake this depression. I feel great, and yet I don't. Make sense? I really have no reason not to be a happy-go-lucky girl...but I am really struggling. Besides, I never was one of those chipper types. I am a cynical sounding optimist. Now that sounds crazy!! Really that just means that I have a very dry sense of humor and can tend to be blunt at times, although I am truly an optimistic personality. On a side note, I also received a tetnus shot as a parting gift today. My arm hurts.
I had class tonight..more studying of bones. Lots and lots of bones. I am sick of bones.
I need to get some new 8 month pics in my profile...I am just so preoccupied with school, the kids, and Halloween and the upcoming kids' Halloween Bash....I can't seem to remember to do it. Maybe tomorrow. In the meantime...off to study-you guessed it- bones. *sigh*
Saw my PCP today for a yearly check up. He was super pleased...thought I was the "poster girl" for WLS in his practice. He originally, about 8 or 9 years ago, thought that it was a crazy idea for doctors to refer patients to this surgery. One of the other doctors in the practice referred someone for surgery and they died, so no one in the practice was eager to send someone off to the same fate. But, over the years he started to open up to it, and ended up learning more about it. So, when I hit him up about the option for me...he was hesitant but very supportive. Now, eight months later...he is, as they say here in CA, stoked about the outcome. But, I did also request that he put me back on Paxil for a trial run. I can't seem to shake this depression. I feel great, and yet I don't. Make sense? I really have no reason not to be a happy-go-lucky girl...but I am really struggling. Besides, I never was one of those chipper types. I am a cynical sounding optimist. Now that sounds crazy!! Really that just means that I have a very dry sense of humor and can tend to be blunt at times, although I am truly an optimistic personality. On a side note, I also received a tetnus shot as a parting gift today. My arm hurts.
I had class tonight..more studying of bones. Lots and lots of bones. I am sick of bones.
I need to get some new 8 month pics in my profile...I am just so preoccupied with school, the kids, and Halloween and the upcoming kids' Halloween Bash....I can't seem to remember to do it. Maybe tomorrow. In the meantime...off to study-you guessed it- bones. *sigh*
