"You have such a pretty face, you're going to be really hot when you loose that weight."



I guess that's just sitting really heavy with me right now. I don't look in the mirror and see a horribly gross person looking back, so I guess I just feel insulted that I'm not, okay right now? I hate being told I have a pretty face. It super bothers me. I'd rather not hear a word than hear parts of me are acceptable. I know deep down I'll never be 'hot', but I would like to think of myself as a fairly attractive person. From the top of my head to my last little toe. I don't want to have pieces of me isolated. Gah.

Something good though, I went to old navy and bought size 18 jeans and a skirt. Yay! That's another size down! This is getting pretty awesome. It's been a hot minute since I could wear that size. I'm getting there... slowly but surely! So even though the scale hasn't moved, the inches are coming off! I know this is going to be a hard journey, but I'm determined to make it!


Goodnight.

i had my first follow up appointment. i've lost 21 pounds since surgery! Yay! Tomorrow will be 2 weeks, so I'd say I'm doing pretty well! I've been walking a lot and doing lots of ab work at home. I refuse to be all flabby! I know I've had a flat stomach before, I will again!

I got cleared to eat food today! Yay! I had some pizza tonight. I say pizza, but actually i just had a couple bites of the cheese a couple pepperonis, lol. Didn't take much before I was like UGH. Too much food! I could knock back half a pizza no problem before, now I can't even eat half the top! It's amazing to me, though. I love it!! I'm going to start drinking some slim fast in the morning, and I've got a few protein bars to help get in what I need. I love this lifestyle, I really do.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to work again. I've been kinda in and out all week, haven't had a lot of clients this month, but hopefully it picks up. Me and my hubby are going putt putt golfing again tomorrow night with another couple. There's a cheap place around here that we can go out and have fun doing it!

I've been having some Wow moments lately. My bra's all fit great! And my boobs are a whole cup size smaller! It's wonderful. I now have that space between my boobs again, not just one monster boob. My shirts fit better, and guess what?! My black pants that are a size 20 FELL OFF TODAY! Like, lifted my arms and they fell straight to the floor! It was amazing. I love shrinking


I think I'm going to go watch some celebrity rehab before bed. Goodnight everyone!

well today was defiantly a better day compared to yesterday. i woke up knowing that this was the right thing to do, otherwise it wouldn't have happened so fast. everything is meant to be, and i have to remind myself that everyday. i've drank a lot more today, didn't really keep up on the measurements though. oh well. went for a great walk earlier with aspen, my golden retriever. that was well worth it. the temperature was hot hot hot and i sweat a lot! felt really good. especially when i came home and saw that i'm not 240! only 2 pounds left and i'm lighter than my husband! haha. very exciting news there! i'm also only 20 pounds away to what i was my senior year. funny how i hated how fat i was then, and now i can't wait to be that size! well, just wanted to get all that out. i have my first post op appointment tomorrow morning, hoping all goes well there. i'm off to watch some tv before bed! goodnight!

so today is my 8th day since having my surgery. wow. i can honestly say i woke up this morning, and had to feel my belly to make sure that there were in fact still incision marks and glue there. i've felt great day.

i had my first Wow moment today getting dressed. i was putting on my clothes, and when i looked in the mirror. my chest wasn't this mass of boobs, it was defined. i have a chest again. yah, that spot between my neck and boobs. omg! it was amazing. i was missing that area 

then me and the hubby went to a huge outlet center to walk around. it was lots of fun and i got a lot of exercise. we even went out to eat, and as hard as it was just drinking while he ate, i did it. and realized that this is fun, because i'm just enjoying a saturday afternoon. then we did more shopping and went putt putt golfing with another couple and our friend, both girls saying how much thinner my face is and how they can tell already. it's so exciting!

all day i was telling my husband that i feel like my life is starting over today. i feel like a new person. i feel great, energized, full of life. i've been so fortunate to have received this surgery. i mean, january 17th i had the talk with my surgery about possibly having some kind of surgery, and then a few weeks later he's calling me asking if i want to come in the next day to have it done. i feel like i was really supposed to have it. i didn't know much about the sleeve. i didn't know much about the lifestyle, how i would change, or anything. but now, i realize it's a tool that will help me be happy again. i'm always doubting myself and putting myself down. today, for the first time in a long long time, for the first time in my relationship with josh alone, i felt okay. i felt good enough. and it's shown. i know i'm going to do this. because i want it, and with this gift, i can finally achieve it.

i never knew how much my life would change with this. i've come to realize so much more than what i thought was ever possible. and i've come to realize true happiness is found deep in myself, i just wasn't letting it out.

thanks for all the support again yall! this website has really made me realize i'm not alone.