ObesityHelp

Well, I'm calling it!  I have hit the goal weight I chose for myself when I decided to have weight loss surgery.  In 9 1/2 months, no less.  The weight loss has dramatically slowed down over the last 2 months, but it has continued to inch downward.  I'm totally OK with that.  I was a little nervous about how fast I was losing in the first months, thinking I may overshoot my goal weight.

Now that I'm here, I wonder if this is really the weight I would like to be.  I'm wearing size 10/12 pants, large shirts (could probably do medium if my upper arms weren't so large).  That is mind blowing to me.  I think I look pretty good...in clothes.  It's the naked me which has me thinking I have a ways to go.  My thighs, stomach and upper arms make me look and feel fat.  I know that this is all on me, and I need to really, really, REALLY get some toning.  I've really not done any exercises.  I keep thinking about it.  Thinking isn't getting me anywhere though.

So, I think I'm going to try for another 10 - 15 pounds loss....not that I seem to have any control over that so far.  My DS seems to be kind of doing it's own thing.  I do get my supplements in, and work on protein consumption, otherwise, I am just along for the ride.

It's a good day, though.  It was awesome to get on that scale and see that magic number.  I'm so very grateful.

Another month gone by, wow, how does that happen so quickly.  Christmas has just passed, New Years is looming close.  Traditionally this would be about the time of year I'd start making deals with myself on losing weight, excercising, etc.  I'd not really ever deem them as resolutions, but in essence, that is what they were.  This year, I am not doing that.  My goal instead is just to be the happiest, healthiest me that I can be.

I had an appointment with my surgeon 2 weeks ago.  He thinks I am doing well.  He asked me what my goal weight was, and I told him I had chosen 160, but that I might have to adjust that.  He says it's important to have a goal.  He also feels that I should be weighing on a daily basis.  That is a tough one for me.  I've never wanted to be a slave to the scale.  I don't weigh consistently, just  whenever strikes my fancy.  I'll have to mull this one over.

Strangely enough, one of my concerns at this point is that I won't stop losing, and end up too low.  I guess I shouldn't worry about something that may or may not happen, but at 8 months out, I have yet to have a stall.  Again, I don't weigh often, but I do weigh every 7 - 14 days, and in that time only once had I not lost something, and that one time I did maintain my weight from the previous weigh in.  

I had a wonderful Christmas season, I was more active and engaged than in previous years, I feel more confident and joyful in ways that I cannot express.  An unexpected, but welcome "side effect" of losing 100+ pounds, I am sure.  


The good:

Down 112 pounds, with little effort on my side, wearing size 14 pants and Large or XL tops.  Loving buying/getting new clothes.  I am going to go broke at this rate.  Happy, but broke

Feeling good and healthy, but still lazy (not excercising).  I got a Wii for Christmas, and our family got an excercise bike.  No more excuses.

No bathroom issues, pretty consistent and no problems to report.  Have had more gas than usual, due to some added carbs (see below), but nothing horrendous, or any worse than pre-op.

The bad:

Hair is still falling out.  I bought a wig, it just didn't suit me at all.  It's about the only thing I have truly "whined" about during this journey.  I think I look better in a thinner body, but my hair loss makes me feel less feminine.  it's dumb, I know, and I keep telliing myself that it is temporary, but damn, it sucks!  I do see new growth and will eventually just have to cut off the lenghth, as of now, I live in a ponytail.

Been eating way too many "bad" things, cookies and candy and the like.  Will be glad to not have so much temptation after the season ends.  I recall now my big lack of willpower as a pre-op.  Apparently it's back, after having several months where nothing tasted or sounded good.  Honestly, though, I haven't even beaten myself up about it. 

Today is my 7th month surgiversary.  Time sure flies!  Thanksgiving was this past week.  I had some initial misgivings about how that might go, but it all ended up wonderfully.  I had a great day, concentrating on being with my great family and awesome friends.  It wasn't just about food, although I did enjoy a turkey with the trimmings meal.  Just much less than I had ever eaten on previous Thanksgivings.  I was truly, truly thankful for my DS.

The stats:
Lost:  104 pounds
Lost:  53.75 inches (10 from my waist, and 11 from my hips!)

The funny:
I've become a total photo whore.  Who knew I was such a vain woman?!  I think part of it is just wanting to see the difference from before to current.  I totally am amazed when I look at pictures of myself.  It's like I don't see it in the mirror as much as in a picture.  It is kind of irritating how vain I am now.  I'm sure I'll get over it.  At least I hope I do.  

The goal:
I have never been where I am, weight wise, as an adult.  When I chose a goal weight, I was just stabbing in the dark.  My mom, who is about the same height as I am, and has fought issues with obesity for many years, had said she felt comfortable at 160 pounds, which is what I chose as my goal weight.  I am probably going to have to rethink that, but I'll get there first and then decide.  The reason I'm thinking about a lower weight is that I am carrying a lot, and I mean A LOT of sagging skin/fat, especially around my thighs, arms (batwings) and tummy.  

The day to day:
I'm doing well on taking vitamins, doing ok on water/hydration.  I so, so, so want to find something else to drink but water, but everything I have tried is just not good tasting.  I'm drinking at least one protein shake a day.  My restriction is still pretty tight, but I do see gradual improvement.  I'd like to be eating more protein, and I'll get there, just a matter of taking it slow.  I do much better on soft foods, meats and bread type foods are very hard to consume, in that they fill me up so very fast.  

This is a photo of me and my twin (I'm in white), Mary.  Today is her 6th month surgiversary.  She is doing great, and between us, we have lost the equivelant of an adult male!



 

Wednesday will be my 6 month surgiversary.  I was reflecting today on how my perspective on life is today versus this time last year.  I decided to put together a "before and after" photo set, and I have to be honest and say I nearly cried when I took a good look at my before photos.  I knew I was large, but I didn't see myself as big then as I do now.  I must have been in denial.  



The good:
* I have lost 92 pounds in just under 6 months
* I have gone from a size 22/24 pants to 16s
* I now wear XL or 0x shirts, where I was wearing 2x and 3x
* The food adversions I had early on are lessening.  I'm not grossed out about food like I once was.  I haven't even had a yogurt (which I was living on for the first 3 months) for weeks.
* I am able to get my vitamins in on a daily basis.

The bad:
* As expected, my hair has been falling out.  A LOT.  (as you can see from my shiny scalp in the 2nd photo)
*I  had not been taking blood pressure meds since surgery, but my diastolic is not going down on it's own (it's staying steady at 90), so i'm back on diovan as of this week.
* I have a lot of restriction and eating is not easy for me.  3 or 4 bites and I am done.  It keeps me relying on protein drinks (which I don't mind too much, but would like to be relying more on food at this point) to get my daily protein.  My sister, who is a month behind me can eat approximately twice as much, volume wise, than I can.
* Labs are only so-so, my A is still very, very low.  I'm now taking 100k daily.

I cannot believe how time has flown by.  I can't say that I love my DS, but we have a pretty decent relationship.  I have very little bathroom issues, not much gas.  No nausea.  I have found myself eating a few things I probably shouldn't (those darn tiny little Snickers in Halloween candy bags!), but they don't seem to have stopped or slowed my weight loss and it's nice to try some different tastes now and again, to be honest.  

Thanks to everyone here for the information and the support.  I quite literaly couldn't have done this without you.

Wow, time flies!  It has been 4-months since my lap DS with Dr. SImper.  I am feeling pretty good.  Just in the last 2 weeks I have begun to feel better about food, I can eat a wider variety and a little more volume as well.  I actually had my first hunger panges since surgery.  I wasn't even sure what it was at first!  I lost 10 pounds in the last month, still awesome progress and I am nearing Onederland for the first time in my adult life (5 pounds to go).

I am feeling more confident about myself, especially in meetings and other work type events.  I attended our department party last night and actually participated in events instead of watching from the sidelines.  I was proud of myself for that.

I am jiggly as all get out, my thighs, stomach and arms are the worst.  I am looking into starting up with Curves, I used them a couple of years ago and felt it was helpful to toning multiple areas of the body.  We have 2 in our neighborhood, so going to check out hours and that kind of thing.  I know I won't be able to get rid of all the excess skin/flab/jiggle, but I think toning up where I can would make me feel better about myself.

I just started noticing the loss of hair, escecially right up front.  I have had very thin hair since I lost a good deal of weight on Phen/Fen in 1996.  I'm trying not to panic, but have to confess I'm freaking a little on the inside.

I am wearing 18s and 20s in pants and 1x in shirts (was =24 pants and 2 - 3x shirts pre-op).  My sister (who is 1 month behind me with her DS surgery) and I are going clothes shopping today!