Mentally I'm having a hard time right now. I had surgery 1 month, 5 days ago. It took about 2 weeks for me to feel "normal" afterwards, then I had one week of feeling pretty good. The next week I had my period. I have a mirena and have had 2 or 3 days of "spotting" in the last year and a half. This time, I'm assuming due to the weight loss, I had a 7 day killer insane period. This totally sucked all the life out of me and I stayed curled on the couch most of the time. This week I'm battling severe congestion, dry cough and more fatigue. Everyone in the house is sick so we all have the same thing.
I'm not used to being "sick" for 4 out of 5 weeks, so that has put me in a grumpy mood. And the scale HAS. NOT. MOVED. IN 2. WEEKS. (ok, it's moved, but within the 247-250 range, up and down, up and down)
Also, I have been tracking my food and eating within my NUT's guidelines (400-600 cals, less than 15 carbs and at least 60 grams of protein). I have NOT been drinking enough fluids, today I have already drank double what I did yesterday and I'm attempting to bring that back up to at least the 64 oz minimum. One of the comments on my previous entry mentioned that if it doesn't taste "good", they just don't drink it. That's me as well. Pre-op, I was a mountain dew fiend, I loved that neon green citrus crap. I also think I've gone through most of my life partially dehydrated. Pre-op, I rarely drank water and also rarely finished any type of beverage period. My husband hated all the half drank cups and bottles I left around.
Anyway, yesterday was particularly hard. I overslept and had to rush around for an hour trying to get everything back on schedule and that was just enough to push me over the edge emotionally and all the negative thoughts I've been having won out. I just felt like this was yet another fad diet that I was failing and that there was nothing that I could do to change it. (all untrue logically, but emotionally. . . ) And I made bad food choices all day, I totally let myself slide back into the "old me". The me that used to think that since I'm not losing weight it doesn't matter what I eat. The me that would eat something "bad" and then punish myself by skipping meal, only to eat something even worse afterwards. I wasn't able to eat much, clearly since I'm just over a month out, but I made some dubious choices. Fast food for breakfast (sausage patty and a few bites of biscuit), skipped lunch, had an afternoon snack of half a slice of pound cake, and went out for dinner and ordered a sirloin steak and fries with a glass of red wine! I ate so little of that it was ridiculous. The steak wasn't great and I only had 3 sips of wine before I handed it over to my husband. I also had half a scoop of ice cream. I'm completely ashamed to post this, but I'm being honest. Luckily I did not get sick from any of that, but I don't want to press my luck again.
Today I started fresh, took my vitamins like a big girl, so far I've drank 4 glasses of water and I've stayed on plan. I can do this and I will. I did something drastic by having a VSG and sometime I feel like I want drastic results. I have to remember that I am getting drastic results, I just have to do my part by taking care of myself and enjoying the journey.