I started this year stressed and worried about what 2012 would hold.  But, as always, I was hopeful.  And what a year it has turned out to be for me!  An absolutely fabulous, wonderful, incredible year that surpassed any hopes I could have had. 

Most important in my eyes was my wedding.  I go on and on about my husband, and sometimes do, driving people nuts.  But in my opinion, this is how it SHOULD be.  I love my husband, deeper each and every day.  When he comes home, my eyes light up and my heart is happy.  He is truly my best friend and my soul mate.  I don’t ever want to imagine my life without him.  This man makes my soul smile, and I couldn’t ask for more.  All I can ask is that we are able to hold onto our love for the rest of our lives together, and a hope that each year we continue to grow and work together for that goal. 

I also spent some in person time with my best friend, as she travelled three times from Canada to see me.  First time was for the wedding.  It may be weird to some for me to have had a best friend for 3 years that I never met before in person – but others who know me, know that this is just me.  I talked to Candy almost every day, and we couldn’t be closer unless we were twins.  She’s my sister from another mister, and I am grateful for her love and friendship.  This year allowed us to spend some quality time together, laughing and carrying on like teenagers.  It was as if we had lived next door for the last few years, instead of over 2500 miles apart.  Our plans for the future have many more visits between the two of us, and our constant contact on the phone.  Thank goodness that Verizon finally added Canada to their unlimited texting plan.  Saved me some serious money – more $$$ for traveling lol ;).

This year also saw me go on my weight loss journey and adventure.  I mention it solely because of the friendships I have gained, from the beautiful women that have shared this journey with me.  I have had the opportunity this year to meet some incredible inspirational women who show me just what determination and beauty really are.  Alison is my personal superhero, and my forgiving lawyer mentor.  Ms Shell is my no-nonsense, kick in the butt when needed!  Jenn is a beauty who is finding strength where she didn’t realize she had it.  All three are the definition of beauty and inspiration, and I count myself incredibly lucky to have met these women and shared this path with them.  Another amazing couple I have met is Mike & Linda B.  Their love for each other and the way they encourage each other and others gives me hope.  They appeal to the romantic part of me that I try (badly) to hide.  I hope that we all continue to grow as friends in the next few years.  Lots of 5k’s, meetups, and shopping trips.  I am planning to cheer on Alison in her triathalon.  I have the utmost faith in her! 

My children always have been and always will be the joy in my life.  They give me so much happiness and fill me with pride.  Michael went from failing out of high school to being on the honor’s list at the end of the year.  That’s pretty exciting.  He’s had surgery on his knee, coming through like a trooper and being diligent about his physical therapy.  He’s going to be chef – and has plans to attend culinary school.  Taking culinary night classes has made him quite happy.  He’s growing up to be a fine young man.  Sierra has grown up right before my eyes.  She’s currently determined to become a vet, and my hope is for that to continue.  She has developed a severe tomboy streak and has gone from having hair to her butt to having shaved up the back of her head.  Lol.  She continues to do amazing in school.  I love watching her grow into the little lady she is quickly (too much so) becoming.  Miley is already 4 years old, and I can’t believe how quickly the time passes.  She will start school next fall – amazing to me.  I have one child preparing to leave the nest and another starting kindergarten in the next year.  Floors me.  Michael should be able to do driver’s education in this coming year.  My poor car.  Lol.  Sierra is going to take a horse riding/care class to see if her interest in this holds.  Miley is growing up and starting school.  Children grow too fast for my tastes.  lol.

My hope for the next year is to pass the bar.  I’d like to say that it wasn’t the most important thing in the world to me – but honestly, it truly is.  I have worked so hard for this point to come.  I will graduate, of that I have no doubt, but that bar exam looms over me like a monster in a small child’s closet.  It is like throwing a rock into a still pond – the results of that test will have a ripple effect on the rest of my world.  My plan is to study my ass off.  I can give up the next few months of my life in exchange for the next few decades of doing what I want (more or less lol).  I have not come this far to fail!  

Also, I hope that the next year sees more time spent with my best friend.  I love the trips we get with each other.  I also plan to take my son on a trip to visit the culinary school of his dreams.  I hope that he gets to see his dreams fulfilled. 

My greatest hope is to just spend more time with my family.  I love the quiet moments I spend with my husband, and the busy moments spent with my kids.  I want to enjoy more coffee time with my sister-in-law, who I have grown to be good friends with.  Spending some time with my friends going shopping, drinking coffee or just being silly, are among some of my simple, yet happy goals for the new year.  2013 holds great hopes and dreams for me and my family.  I plan to work hard to see everyone achieve their goals.

This year has held its share of troubles and sorrows.  Some sad realizations have come to pass, but as tough as they are, all things happen for a reason.  I have learned some painful, but valuable lessons this last year.  I don’t plan to forget them in the years to come.  I will use them to grow stronger and overcome anything in my path.  I will show them to my children as examples of how hard life can be, but how it is possible through our own choices to overcome and persevere.  No one’s opinion determines who we are or what we are worth!  We chart our own paths, plan the types of people we wish to become, and our worth is determined by the love and goodness we send out in the world and receive in kind, not the bitterness and hatefulness some people choose to spread.  I firmly believe that life is completely what we make of it.  We CHOOSE how our life turns out.  Whether it is through our actions or inactions, the choices we make, good or bad, determine the life we live. 

As for me, I choose hope, love and happiness.  I make a decision each day to choose to be happy.  Oh, some days it is soooo incredibly hard, and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Sometimes people hurt me or let me down, and I just want to curl up and cry myself to sleep.  But then I remember that I can choose to let something that someone else chose, to ruin my whole day/week/month/life, or I can choose to not let allow it to have an effect.  That is all up to me.  I choose to pick myself up, and persevere towards the life I want.  It matter not what others want for me, or whether they like my life.  It only matters what I choose to think, believe and act upon.

May everyone look back on their past year with a smile and turn it forward to a new year, filled with hope and love. 

Now in maintenance, so higher in carb than I would normally have liked, but still oh so freaking yummy.  

I made pumpkin protein muffins on sunday.  Tonight with the left over protein I made pumpkin protein fluff (from a recipe here on OH). I slightly modified both recipes I found and came up with these goodies.  The fluff can be used as a fruit dip, but my little girl and I got the great idea to top the muffins with them. omg - YUM!!!

Here's the pics!

Muffin

Fluff

Muffin + Fluff

YUMMY NUMMY GOODNESS!!!

Pumpkin Muffin Recipe

1 cup canned pumpkin - NOT pumpkin pie filling

1/2 cup UNSWEETENED applesauce

1/2 cup Fage 0% greek yogurt

6 TBSP liquid egg whites (or 3 egg whites)

2 cups quick oats

2 scoops Vanilla Protein Powder

1 cup splenda

1 tsp baking soda

2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 TBSP  pumpkin pie spice

Preheat oven to 350*. Line a muffin pan with FOIL cupcake liners and spray with nonstick veg spray.  In a food processor, blend all the ingredients.  (If you don't have a great food processor then just add the oats - and pulverize them.  After mix the ingredients in a bowl with a hand mixer.)  Pour into muffin cups.  Bake 15 minutes until tops are brown. 

Pumpkin Protein Fluff

1 container of Lite Cool Whip (8 oz - THAWED)

1 package of sugar free cheesecake pudding mix

1 can (15 oz) canned pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling)

1 scoop vanilla protein powder

2 Tbsp pumpkin pie spice

2 tsp splenda

Whisk cool whip and cheescake mix well.  Add protein, spice and splenda, whisk well.  Fold in pumpkin gently but thorougly.  DONE!

That’s right folks, it took me 8 months and 1 week, but I made it!  I sit this morning just under my goal at 114.6!!!  I am over the moon with happiness!

Here’s the Stats:

Highest recorded weight:       242

Pre-op Weight:                        217

Loss on pre-op:                       -17

Day of Surgery:                      200

My surgeon and I compromised on the goal, me wanting the top of a healthy bmi – him saying that I could go lower.  We settled in the middle(ish) at 115.  I am more than likely going to keep going down a bit, just to give myself some bounce back room.

More stats:

Pants pre-op                20 (stretched tight, leaving red marks, refused to go higher)

Shirts Pre-op               2XL

I didn’t wear dresses or skirts.  Suits I would squeeze into an 18P as long as I could, then went to stretchy pants and a nice blouse.

Shoes:                          6.5WW to 7WW

Ring:                           7.5

NOW:

Pants                           3 in Misses – 2 or 4 in women’s, depending on brand

(NSV: Cheap Wal-Mart size small sweat pants are TOO BIG!! Omg, omg, omg, omg)

Shirts:                          S or 4

Skirts:                          4

Dresses:                       4

Shoes:                          Kids 4, Womens 5 – 5.5 no more wide width

Ring:                           5.5 or 5

I have had a lot of cost in replacing clothes.  My wedding was in June – and the dress was altered twice and still was big on the day of the wedding.  I bought it a size 18, was too big for the dress when it came in last December – it wouldn’t fit.  I had it altered down to a size 12.  My wedding dress is now at my best friend’s mom’s house where she is going to make it into a quilt for me. YAY!  My engagement ring wasn’t fitting before the ceremony, and the matching band didn’t match up to it.  I had bought a temporary band, but that one lasted only a month before it was too big.  I wore one of my mother’s old bands while I went through the debacle of ordering my new set.  I wear that now.  It’s a 5.5 and is a little loose.  But I am not giving it up!!

My surgeon’s plan didn’t set a specific carb goal – just keep it low and keep the protein high.  But I followed the guidelines that many here helped me establish.  600 cal, 40 or less carbs, 60-80 protein.  I upped the cals to 800 when my energy levels tanked at the start of the fall semester.  But I maintain the low carb lifestyle.  I plan to have that be my goal for the rest of my life.

I don’t consider myself a success... I will when I have been in maintenance for a few long years without a significant regain.  I am allowing a little bounce back (like I said, gonna go down a bit more) – and I fully intend to have plastics within the next two years or so.  My boobs will finally be the same size, so help me.  My panni will be gone – the skin is severely damaged from having two extra large babies and long term obesity.  After the tummy tuck and boob job I will consider the arms and thighs.

Thank you to those that took the time to help: Ruggie, Frisco, Elina, Rob, Sleevegirl, and many others.  I appreciate it all and I know I missed some great helpers.  This site has been awesome and I have gained two very close personal friends from here.  Jenn and Alison are my in life support group, surgery buddies and my personal heroes!  I could not be at goal without those two.  Wait til ya’ll see Alison’s new tatas!! I am jealous. 

Now for the pics, I know that’s what peeps want.

Summer 2011 - Annecy France

Family Pics Fall 2011 - I am just going up and up again

Trying on my wedding dress in August 2011

My Little girl's 9th birthday

When it came in December 2011 - the back is clipped to hold it :(

My official post op pic:

Now for the more fun post op ones:

May 2012 - Trying on the wedding dress again - it's too big and this time clipped to keep it on me lol

My fam and I at the LA Zoo - I am shrinking

Our family pic from the wedding in June

My little girl's 10th bday - a huge difference

Me & my surgery buddies and Heroes at Halloween.  I am so in love with these two:

 The girls trip to Vegas, Oct 2012

My husband and I at Knott's:

And this morning - celebrating my goal by rocking my new purple sweater and sexy purple boots.  I love purple - if you didn't know. 

It's hard work - you can't get to goal by thinking you are going to do it easy, doesn't work that way.  Use your tool and ROCK IT OUT!!!

Much love.  

~Angi

This is applicable in so many aspects of my life - not only just the weightloss phases.  I think of it often, and shared it with some friends.  

Remember that those that tear you down can only stand in your way if you let them.  Build yourself up despite their issues, and make yourself better than you were before.  No one can make you feel bad unless you give them the power to!

~Angi