Well since I put myself back on track I can honestly say that I feel better and I have dropped a few pounds.  I was hanging out around 197 and I'm down to 193.  I'll take that!!!  I have not been eating the slider foods and I have been drinking more Crystal Light and things like that.  I don't JUST drink coffee....that was a big problem.  Don't get me wrong, I still have plenty of coffee...I just keep myself hydrated with water now too.

So, I'll keep plugging on.....and I'll keep in touch with my blog.  It's good to feel "in control" again.  I also have my protein shakes...usually two per day.  I've found that Hershey makes a SUGAR FREE chocolate syrup...not reduced...but SUGAR FREE...and I put a little of that in my chocolate shake...can you say chocolate milk...eventhough I make my shakes with water it really does taste like chocolate milk.  My youngest asked me if he could taste it and he made an awful face and then told me that he thinks there is something wrong with my taste buds...LOL!!

I am a stess eater...I have always been a stress eater.  Now I am paying a small price for this and I have kicked myself in the butt to nip it!  I noticed that my pants were fitting differnt...as in snug in the bottie...and in the thighs.  So, I got on the scale and I've gained 10 pounds...yep, that's right.  How did I do this..I'll share.

Let me say that I know that if I continue donig these things I will gain back every single pound that I've lost with some extra to go along with them.  I don't want that to happen.  To be honest that scares me.  I don't want to be fat.  I want to be normal looking...

The following is what I've allowed to happen:

1.  I eat slider foods such as pretzels, chips, and crackers. 

2.  I graze on some of the sliders

3.  I taste while I'm cooking.  This can really add up to quiet a bit of food eaten at a time.

4.  I hardly ever eat "solid protein"....instead I'll have a soft food like tuna salad.

5.  I don't drink enough water.

6.  I drink too much coffee.  There have been days that I only have coffee to drink...this is BAD!!

7.  I am not taking my vitamins faithfully

8.  I skip meals and I don't have my protein shakes

9.  I tend not to spend $$ on the foods that I need especially now that the $$ is tight.

10.  I am able to eat almost anything and I hardly ever dump.  However the few times I have dumped have been very, very bad.  Including one time when I passed out.

11.  Since I've been skipping meals I've noticed I am having a hard time with my blood sugar levels.  I am starting to feel dizzy and I have shakes.  When I test my BSL is 60 and I've gotten down to 56.  I know this is not good.

12.  I don't move my big fat butt and exercise. 

So, I went out to the store.  I bought the foods that I needed.  I got out my vitamins and sat them on the microwave.  I know that I will have to battle the constipation especially since the vitamins contain iron but I have anemia....really bad anemia...I need the vitamins.  I worry about what damage I may have caused since I have not been faithful for several months.  Ive been doing better for the last four days and guess what???  I feel better.......   

My goal is to get rid of this 10 pound gain and then I'll go from there.  I'm still not wanting to be a model...LOL!!  I just want to look good for me...and I'm not sure what that's going to be...I am still a work in progress.

I'll be back for an update and I'm really going to try to not let as much time go by this time around.  Hopefully I'll be able to check in once a day with a menu and an update on my weekly weigh ins.

Off I go .....

Well, I'm still here.  I do miss this site and I've promised myself that I will TRY to get on here once per week. 

I am still hanging out around 190 give or take a pound.  I have extreme hate for the scale.  I have been working out so hard at the gym...and I love that.  I've been curcuit training and doing my cardio.  I've stepped up my routine and now I do everything everyday...it's killing me but I HATE the forty pounds that I still want to shed A LOT more then I hate the gym.  I've actaully have a fondness for the gym and I love the way that my clothes are getting too big...and how my muscles are really taking shape.  I need to add some new pics to my blog.  Maybe this Sunday when I'm dressed up for church....

I'm still confused as to how you can tone your muscles....and your clothes get bigger but that supid scale won't budge..and yes, I know...muscle weighs more then fat...LOL!!!!

See ya,

Chrissy

I am still here...hanging on..LOL!!

We moved the computer down to the familyroom and this is such a spot for the guys that I rarely come down here.  I find that I am enjoying my time upstairs...all by myself...LOL!!

This morning I am at 197.  I am very happy with my progress....I'm not even a year out and I've lost 153 pounds...so I am very happy.  My goal for Valentines Day is 190.  I don't know if I'll be able to do that or not.  Seems like I've hit yet another stall.  This is so typical for me.  I know, I know, I know...it's all part of the journey...but like I've said in the past I HATE THEM!!!!

Yesterday I went shopping.  It's SO NICE to be able to walk into the regular size sections of the stores and not the plus size.  I fit easity into most larges and sometimes I even have to get a medium.  I did end up getting a few new things from....yep, Salvation Army....my favorite store.  Some of the things are "petite" sizes...yep, a petite....LOL!!!  It's a very nice gray suit jacket...sharp looking, very tailored...I loved it and cringed when I ttied it on.  I figured it wouldn't fit..but it does...and it looks great.  I just love shopping now.

I am steadily getting bored with the foods that I eat.  I am in such a rut.  I need to stop and get something new and try some new recipes for myself.  I hate when I don't take the time for myself.

The family drama that I have spoken of on here occasionally has not stopped.  I am very willing to stop all of this...but unfortunately the person that I need to talk to is not ready.  I have talked to him over the phone one time...and I told him I'm ready to talk this over.  I am not angry...I am hurt by what he did.  He has not called back as of yet.  I personally don't think he will.  He's angry and probably hurt still....I understand.  We use to be close.  I loved him like a brother and I do miss him.  DH told me to just wait it out and see what happens.  I promised that I would not call him anymore. It's up to him now....

Off I go to type a science paper for my son.  I'm not doing a spell check and I'm not going to read over this...so if there are mistakes...get over it!! LOL!!

Blessings to all,

Chrissy

Well, I made a trip into Salvation Army.  I always get excited about going in there.  I know....it's odd but so true.  I bought a skirt that I needed.  Basic black....straight.....just below the knee with a small kick pleat.  It's nice and it's a size 14.  Now, anyone that knows me would be able to tell you that this was the first thought that went threw my head..."it has to be a big sz. 14...not a standard size 14".  I can wear and do wear a size 16 jeans...no elastic just the regular waist band and zipper...so maybe, just maybe this is a "real" 14????  I am also able to wear some medium tops. 

I guess the only thing that has me down lately are my boobies....no pun intended.  I would have never thought that I would miss having a fuller looking bust line but I do.  I miss filling out my clothes in that area.  When I'm in my birthday suit they look pitiful.....like duck bills just laying there...YUCK!!!  i try to make light of the situation and laugh about it.  I did know that this would happen and like I said I really didn't think it would bother me.  But, it does.  It's gotten to the point where I don't even like my DH to look at them.  So, I have to get a grip on this.  I want to go into VS and look around.  I need to be measured.  I've never had a proper fitting for a bra.  I know the band size has changed and definitely the cup size.  I was a 46 DD and know I'm wearing a 40 D .  The band seems too big and I'm not filling up the cups either....SAD!!  I'm wondering if a push-up style bra would give me that full look that I liked so much???  I guess I'll never know until I try it on.  Who would have thought that I'd be going into VS and actually buying something????  Guess I'll have to save a few $$ and get something a bit sexy...LOL!!

I am having an awful time with leg cramps.  I've been out of my good vitamins for two weeks.  I've been taking another type and I know that I need to go today to the Drs office and get my usual vits from him.  So off I go to cause chaos to others....LOL!!