learn how to skydive when I am at MY goal weight

So, here I am.  I weigh myself this morning and I am 218!!  I am excited about this and I am happy.  I'll admit....not as happy as I would have been if I would have weighed in at 215 which by the way was my goal for Halloween...but hey, I'm takin the 218 and I'm runnin' with it....LOL!!!    Last year at this time I was miserable and I do mean miserable.  I feel so different now.  I don't really know what it is but I guess I feel more like "me"...not someone that's all shut in...I feel more free...and I want to be "out there" and I don't mind if people notice me.  I don't feel like I need to hide underneath a huge sweat shirt and sweat pants.  I can feel confident when I put on something and I look good. Yes, I'm braggin...this is MY BLOG!! LOL!!  I felt really good this last Sunday when I got dressed for church.  DH was getting all the boys out the door and I came walking down the hall...and he just stopped...and looked at me and said to the boys, "Boys, look at your mom, look how beautiful she is..just like the day I married her"!!  It was so nice...I got all misty eyed....  It was just very sweet.  Bottom line and I'll admit it here...I did look good and I felt great!!  LOL!!!!   

I've been thinking about a Thanksgiving Goal.  I don't know if I should set one or not.  I have given thought to making it easy and not such a challenge since I've slowed down on how much I lose per month.  If I'm at 218 now I think 215 would be very do-able...but then again that also seems shamelessly easy..LOL!!  But it's do-able and what if I have one of those months like I hear so many other ladies say they have where they don't lose any weight.....so, I'm goin' with 215.  I still think I might...just might be able to get the OnderLand for Christmas....that's my ultimate goal....it's gonna take some work.  But, I do think I can do it. 

Halloween candy is not a temptation to me.  I guess I'm still a potato chip girl at heart.  The other day Bobby bought a HUGE bag of Martins Kettle Cooked Potato Chips....I had a small handful.  They were good.....I liked them....I made him promise that he would NEVER bring them into the house again.  I can't believe that I still like them.  I really wanted to not like them...but they were salty and crunchy and just good!!  Other chips really don't bother me...it's just those kettle cooked ones that really get to me. 

Work is going well.  I'll be training to be a supervisor in the next few weeks.  This should and probably will get interesting...LOL!!  DRAMA!!!!

The boys leave tomorrow morning for their music competition.  I hope they do well.  I am sure they will have a wonderful time.  I just pray they are safe and do their best.

Off I go to find adventure and fun,

Chrissy

Well, I'm still staying away from the scales.  It's hard.  But, I promised myself and more importantly I promised God that I was going to stay away from them until Friday.  So, I'm keeping my word...LOL!!  Every morning I am tempted to get on them but I won't give in.

I just gave Salvation Army my jeans that fit me for the reunion in September.  They really fit we well too.  Now I can pull them down without unzipping them or unbuttoning them.  So off they went.  I did get another pair.  They are 18's NO ELASTIC in the waist and I can zip them now but for them to really fit me nicely I'll have to shed some for pounds and inches.  The inches must be coming off because my sizes are going down.  I just had two people over the past few days ask me if I've lost more weight.  Now you know that hopping on the scale is just killing me don't you?  I won't be surprised though if the scale doesn't get below 2119 for a while.  I think my body is really going to fight me on this one.  But if I'm loosing inches then sooner or later the pounds have to come off too. 

I still need to make an appointment with someone at the gym to show me how to use the circut machines.  But Bob told me that he knows how and will take me.  So I have off Wednesday night and I'm hopefull that we will be able to go then.

Tomorrow I'm going to the Palin ralley at the Giant Center.  I'm looking forward to that.  The three oldest boys are going along and they are also looking forward to it.

I just got offered Check-out Supervisor position at work.  It'll mean more money and with everything being so expensive I deceided that I would take it.  I think I'll do fine.  I've done that type of work before. 

Off I go to bed.  I have to be up early in the morning.

Chrissy...the girl that really wants to get on the scale but I promised myself and the good Lord that I wouldn't .......I really need to learn that the scale is NOT my only way of measuring my progress!!

I'm not spell checking this mess...I'm too tierd!

I've been really trying to give this whole journey more thought.  I am so fixed on the scale.  I put it away until Halloween.  I'm only getting it out that day to weigh myself for the Halloween Challange and then it'll go away again.  I won't get it out again until closer to Thanksgiving because I'm sure we'll be doing a Turkey Day Challange. 

The scale effects me too much.  I let it ruin my day and really let it get me down.  I was really thinking about this just the other day and how I'm not relaxing enough and enjoying this wonderful gift that the Lord has given me.  Instead I am worrying about everything and weighing myself several times a day and if the number on the scale is more then I think it should be then I go into a tail spin of emotions. 

I think this is just the devils way of playing with me.  I prayed so much about this operation and I asked the Lord to allow me to have this.  He's given it to me.  Now, I just need to have faith that He will help me with all of my stalls and my head hunger.  I need to take the power from the scale.  I know what I need to do, it's not like I have not been doing the correct things.  I have been I've lost 131 pounds in 8 months...so I know I'm doing things right.  I need to continue to weigh and measure me food.  I need to keep taking my vitamins and keep drinking my water.  I know that I will get through this...........I know I will reach my goal.....I know this because I know the Lord will be beside me the whole time!!!!

So this was a slow month when it comes to my weightloss.  I've only lost seven pounds.  Yes, I know it's a loss and I am happy that I am not truely in a horrible stall.  I am greatful that I have lost something.  It's just that I really liked it when I was averaging 20 pounds per month...LOL!!!  But seriously that isn't something that will keep going on...LOL!!!

I would like to stop weighing myself everyday.  I think I might be obsessed with my scale.  Just a few days ago I was at 219 and then this morning I am at 222.  I know it's water...I'm like a walking sponge.  I hate the water issues.  I'll have to force myself to really drink and try to get rid of that extra few pounds.  Actually something that I find unique is the more I drink the more I hold onto.  If I drink less then I don't have all of the extra to hold onto. 

I want to go to Salvation Army and get a few pieces of clothing that don't fit.  I like having a few pieces of clothing that are too tight and trying to fit into them.  That's how I was at first with my sz. 18 jeans.  I'm really fitting into them nicely.  I still worry that I will never reach my first goal of 180.  I need to stop obsessing over this.  YUCK...I need to stop!!!

Stress is building in the house.  I hate stress.  When I am in a work setting I LOVE STRESS...but when I'm at home I like peace.  Just living with the boys and DH is stressful.  It's not like they are doing and inparticular it's just that I have to share a house...LOL!!  Sometimes I have daydreams of having my own place and just visiting them...LOL!!  But bottom line...I LOVE THEM!!

I thought of something today that I really want to do WHEN I GET TO GOAL.  I want to have some pic of myself taken.  I've always been intrigued by the 1940's and I'd love to have some "pin-up" style pics done for DH.  I think he'd like that too.....wink wink wink....So I'll have to find a photographer.  I'd definately prefer a woman...LOL!!

Off I go to see what trouble I can find.  I'm not going to weigh myself again until Halloween.  That's 10 days away.  I set my Halloween goal at 215....I don't know if I'll reach that.  My original goal was 220...and I did reach that but I thought that I could do 215.....BOO HOO...so time will tell and I'm not weighing myself until then.  I know I'll be furious with myself and my mood will be ruined for the entire day...I am such a baby when it comes to that scale and the numbers.  Bottom line....I know I'm going to need some therapy for this problem and I'm being honest with that.  

See ya,

Chrissy...the scale obsessed blonde!!

Well as anyone knows if they are reading my blog I'm a scale whore.  I say that because I don't see it as a bad thing.  I see it as keeping myself in check and being "real" with myself.  I know that we have our ups and downs especially as women but today I got to see.......219!!!!  OH YEA BABY!!!!

So now I'm excited.  I have my period....yep, that's a good thing because it's the only time I get to lose anything.  So, I know I take off a few pounds now....YIPEE!!!

I've really been enjoying my little salads that I have in the afternoon and lately I've been having manadrine oranges and yogurt in the evenings.  It's SO GOOD!!  It's nice eating more healthy things and I'm actually finding that I like the taste.  Before surgery I liked healthy foods but I would have chosen chips over manderine oranges and yogurt anyday!!  Don't get me wrong...I still really do like chips and I do still have a few now and then but man is my yogurt and oranges GOOD!!  Lemon or orange yogurt mixed with those little oranges...YUMMY!!

I still hope to reach 215 for my Halloween challange.  My untimate goal is below 200 for Christmas.  I really want this...REALLY, REALLY want this!!!

I also have to figure out how to get in some more exercise.  I need more time in a day.  I know that I could go in the mornings before I start school.  I think this is the only way that I'm going to fit all of this in.

Well I have to go to the grocery store. 

Chrissy