Well, here I am. It's been about 4 months? 
I've been terribly embarrassed to update my profile. I guess I'm not doing as well as I could be. 
I think it started feeling too much like a diet again because I feel like I can't get enough! I munch all day! (or when I can!)
I can eat anything! (So be greatful if you dump. I wish I did!) 
I don't even weigh myself anymore. I can't remember the last time I did. I was stuck on a plateau for so long that I think that's what got me started with my bad habits again. 
I think it was alot of things. My depression. These stupid vitamins. I always forget to take them. I don't take any of my pills right now. It's so hard because I can't take them all together. So, I remember my morning ones but then later in the morning I forget because I'm so busy at work. Then I forget my lunch ones because I'm just so forgetful and then I don't bother with my night ones because I messed up with all of my other ones. It's a vicious cycle!
I'm sorry if I'm giving anyone second thoughts about having this surgery! I don't regret it. I still feel good (except for the overwhelming guilty feeling for failing that I have!)
I'm just trying to give you a heads up of what could happen. 
I just wish I would excerise! I think if I were doing that, it wouldn't be so bad but...
I'm down to a size 20! That's a good thing! And my feet don't hurt anymore. That was the major reason that I had this surgery so it wasn't a total waste!
I know it's not over yet and if I could just get my act together, I could do OK still with this tool. 
If I stopped losing weight right now, honestly, I'd be happy. I'm back to my size before I quit smoking. 
I can fit in chairs now. I can get around alot easier now. I look alot better. I'm still getting compliments from my co-workers. 
I need a friend. I mean, I have my boyfriend, and he's great but... It's not the same as having a close GIRL friend. Someone I could excerise with, go walking with, step away from this computer with! It seems like that's all I do is sit at this computer! 
I hope I don't sound like a pitiful loser! Even though I am...
I just don't have any motivation. I didn't have any before and I was hoping this surgery would help with that but... I thought wrong. 
I mean, I think about it alot. I should excerise, I should eat less carbs. I should take my vitamins. I should make an appointment at the Weight Center. 
I don't think that I want to go back there. They forgot about me too many times, I think that was another part of my downfall. I wonder if I could start going to another doctor. I wonder if it would make a difference. No offense to anyone, Dr. Hutter is a competent surgeon. Dr. Rosenblum left the Weight Center to pursue a job treating obese adolesents (sp?) and well, I surely won't miss Jessica...
I have to think about that...

It's about that time again! 
I'm doin' pretty good. I'm down a total of 75lbs. My 24's are getting too big. I'm able to wiz around work like I never could! My job is so much easier now! When I first went back though, I had a rough time lifting and bending. Slowly but surely, it's getting easier. 
I'm feeling hungry alot. I'm making better choices though. When I'm hungry in between meals, I choose nuts, fruit or cheese instead of cookies, cake and chips. Sometimes, I have some sugar free pudding or jello and even sometimes, I do have something bad. But only a taste. I am WAY more aware of what I'm eating now. I check nutritional facts  and I don't buy it if there are too many carbs and not much protein or fiber. 
I feel pretty good. I haven't been exercising very much though but, I have been very active at work. To the point that my hips and knees are killing me by the end of the day. I'm still adjusting to being back to work. 
I'm fitting into my clothes alot better these days. I've even had to give away some of my favorite items! But it wasn't hard though. I was happy to do it! Size 24 is getting baggy around my butt (it's flat) and hips and leg area. I still have some losing on my waist to do before I can go down to 22s. I can't wait!
Still looking for a new job. I slowed it way down for a while though. I just got tired of looking at help wanted ads. One of my buddies on here has offered to look at my resume and see if she can come up with any ideas. Thanks Cyndi! You're a peach! I'll send that to you today! 
I'm still only weighing myself once a week, on Fridays. I hit another plateau for just a week again. Lost 7 lbs. after that again. Weird, huh? It's some kind of pattern. When I first started losing, after the first "big loss" I was losing 2lbs. one week and 5lbs. the next consistantly. Now, I'm not losing one week and losing 7lbs. the next. Hmmmm.....
Gas is getting to be a problem. Most of the time, I can get away from people and go do my thing privately but the other day (omg, this was so embarrassing!) I went to my 4 month check up at the Weight Center. Dr Hutter was running late so I waited, and waited. I decided to go to the bathroom so I wouldn't have any gas and waited some more. Then I saw Dr. Hutter leave. So, I went to the receptionist and asked her if the Dr. just left. She was like, "Oh my god! He must have forgot you! Let me page him back!" So, I waited another half hour (that made 2 hours total)and he finally came back with lunch. So, he called me in, and apologized for forgetting me. (boo-hoo) and he proceeded with my exam. About 3 mins. later, we're done and here comes gas. Oh man, I'm trying to hold it in while I'm buckeling my belt but that was NOT happening! So, I tooted, real loud and he just acted like nothing happened so I did too. But I was completely and utterly ashamed! Time to get some Gas-X! LOLZ!!
I'm often forgetting to take my vitamins. I take my morning pills fine and I'm supposed to take my calcium later in the morning but forget so I end up taking them with lunch and then I have to wait to take my vitamins till after work but I forget those too and my calcium at night. This is not every day, mind you, but I wish that I could just remember... I need to focus... It's part of my depression that I can't focus very well. Memory loss too. Hopefully that will get better with time.
Okay, well I think that's about it for this time... Till next time...

65 lbs lost! Go Jeana! Go Jeana!
I had my 3 month check up on Monday, the eleventh. It went great! All of my blood work was good. My vitamin K (which helps with bleeding) is a little low so Dr. R wants me to start taking a supplement. My magnesium was also a little low but she said I can just eat more foods that are rich in this mineral (almonds, cashews, pine nuts, artichoke, black white or navy beans, pumpkin seeds, spinach, tomatoes, etc.).
I tried out my Gazelle the other day. I was able to do only 5 mins but if I keep at it, I know I'll be able to progress. I'm still walking about 3 times a week for 40-60 mins. I also hit a plateau last week. When I weighed on last Friday, I weighed exactly the same as the previous week! To the last ounce! But I didn't sweat it. I know it happens and this week made up for it because I was down more than 7 lbs!
I'm going back to work this Sunday. The other job fell through.(some ghosts from my past came back to haunt me on my credit report) I was devastated. I cried that whole day! So, I wasn't sure how I was going to pay for books and stuff so I cancelled my enrollment in UOP too. But I do plan to go back to school probably with my 2008 tax return. I want to buy a car with this year's tax return. I can't wait! I also don't want to have to worry about paying a school loan back - that was one of my ghosts...
The section 8 certificate came through though. I have 4 months to find a place. (my first place on my own!) That's not alot of time though because I'm just now getting a check from Short Term Disability Insurance for 3 more weeks time off and I have so many bills to catch up on! You don't even know! So, I gotta catch up on all my bills, medical insurance payments, save money for a 1st and last months' rent and possibly a security deposit and buy furniture for a 2 bedroom apartment. Hopefully my boyfriend gets this job he's been hoping for so he can help me out! That would be wonderful!
I'm still looking for a better job. I haven't given up! I've been applying for jobs like it's going out of style! LOLZ I will find something better.
I'm down to a size 26 pushing 24 pants and 2X - 3X shirt.. I started on size 28 pushing 30 pants and 3X - 4X shirt. So, I'm pretty psyched! Only thing is, I don't have many size 24 pants for some reason. I must have skipped that size last time I was dieting. So, I'm gonna need to go shopping too. More bills...
Those are fun bills though! hehehe
Till next time...

I've lost 48.5lbs since I've had this surgery! Almost 50lbs in 2 months! That would never happen on a regular diet! Isnt' it amazing?!
My pain has mostly gone away - on my birthday week to boot! Me and my bf went at it (nookie) on my birthday and he must have moved something around up there (sorry if this is too graphic - or it gives you a mental image...lolz) cause the next day, I felt about 90% better! What a b-day present!!
I've been walking alot easier too. The other day, my son and I went to Fresh Pond, about a 5 min walk from my house, and walked around the whole pond! 2.25 miles! I was beat on that last 1/4 mile because I think I was pushing too hard (I was walking pretty fast - my son could barely keep up with me). My feet, hips, and back were really killng me! And the next day, my whole body was killing - including my arms! My body is just not used to that much activity.
Anyway, I had my 2 month check-up at the weight center on the 11th of May and it went well. They took 14 vials of blood and I will get the results next month. Dr. R told me if there were any problems they would call me but no calls...
I still can't go back to work. I still have pain when bending and lifting so I am only cleared for light duty and I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but my employer can not accomodate that. So, I put another claim for Disabiltiy Insurance and they needed to have my medical records faxed to them. Guess who is in charge of that? You guessed it! JESSICA! She's come back to haunt me!! I'm sure that you can guess that they were never faxed. So, I am now on my third week without any income! And nobody gives a shit! It's not their problem, right? 
So, I've been forced to look for another job that does not involve alot of bending or lifting and I was offered a spectacular job by MIT credit union!! The pay is out of this world and you would not believe the benefits they offer including but not limited to not charging my son to attend college there!! I almost fainted when I found that out! I've been worrying about how I was gonna pay for my son to go to college for a long time! After I pass a background and credit check I won't have to worry about that anymore! I'm so excited!!
I was also picked in a lottery to recieve a Section 8 certificate here in Cambridge!! I don't know if you know how expensive it is to live here but it's virtually impossible to do it without roomates unless you're loaded so this was a God send! For those of you who don't know what a Section 8 certificate is, it's where you only have to pay 30% of your income for rent and the government covers the rest. It's amazing! People usually wait for years on a waiting list for this but i waited about 3 months! I can't believe it!! My life is finally coming together! 
Oh, and another thing, I'm going back to college for my degree Online! University of Phoenix!! I was approved for $4500 Pell grant for each year and a Stafford Loan will cover the rest. This loan will not accrue interest and I don't have to start paying it until 6 months after I finish my degree. I'm going for my Associates in Business and then hopefully my Bachelors! This should all start on May 28th. I can't believe it!! 
Well, I hope I haven't talked your ears off!! LOLZ and I hope that I can inspire you all to reach out for your dreams! 
Anyone out there that is pre-op and still contemplating having this surgery - I would not hesitate to do it all over again! Even after having pain for 2 months straight! My advice to you is to GO FOR IT!! Don't even hesitate!!
Till next time...

Hi, it's been a little while since I posted. I haven't been really up to being online or anything for that matter. My right side is still giving me alot of grief. I went to my appt. yesterday w/Dr. Rosenblum. I was also supposed to do fasting labs for research but for some reason I thought that appt. was next week so I ate and I couldn't do those. 
I explained to Dr. R the pain I've been having and how it doesn't seem to be getting better, it actually is getting worse. 
She said that it sounded like something muscular and that I should try applying a hot pad to it and to try wearing an abdominal binder. So I tried the binder and WOW - WHAT A DIFFERENCE! I feel about 70% better. I was able to walk around and get in and out of the car and sit up with out pain. What a Godsend! 
I think I pushed myself a little too much though because I'm a little sore today. 
I'm still worried about going back to work. I still have trouble bending and can't really walk fast without discomfort - and forget about lifting. Unfortunately, my job entails all of that. 
I was thinking of calling the short term disability insurance and asking them if the hernia repair surgery will make a difference in recovery time that I have. They were only informed of the RNY and don't know anything about the hernia. 
I think I could use at least another week to feel good enough to go back to light duty. 
I've lost another 10 lbs. since I posted last and the inches are just melting away. I never measured myself but I can really tell on my upper belly. That is a big issue that I have and I'm so glad that it's shrinking. This part of my body really got in my way when washing my private areas and to put on socks and shoes. Oh, and also to not spill any food on my shirt. I bet that I can fit in a restaurant booth comfortably now!
WOO-HOO!!
Till next time...