Well, here I am. It's been about 4 months?
I've been terribly embarrassed to update my profile. I guess I'm not doing as well as I could be.
I think it started feeling too much like a diet again because I feel like I can't get enough! I munch all day! (or when I can!)
I can eat anything! (So be greatful if you dump. I wish I did!)
I don't even weigh myself anymore. I can't remember the last time I did. I was stuck on a plateau for so long that I think that's what got me started with my bad habits again.
I think it was alot of things. My depression. These stupid vitamins. I always forget to take them. I don't take any of my pills right now. It's so hard because I can't take them all together. So, I remember my morning ones but then later in the morning I forget because I'm so busy at work. Then I forget my lunch ones because I'm just so forgetful and then I don't bother with my night ones because I messed up with all of my other ones. It's a vicious cycle!
I'm sorry if I'm giving anyone second thoughts about having this surgery! I don't regret it. I still feel good (except for the overwhelming guilty feeling for failing that I have!)
I'm just trying to give you a heads up of what could happen.
I just wish I would excerise! I think if I were doing that, it wouldn't be so bad but...
I'm down to a size 20! That's a good thing! And my feet don't hurt anymore. That was the major reason that I had this surgery so it wasn't a total waste!
I know it's not over yet and if I could just get my act together, I could do OK still with this tool.
If I stopped losing weight right now, honestly, I'd be happy. I'm back to my size before I quit smoking.
I can fit in chairs now. I can get around alot easier now. I look alot better. I'm still getting compliments from my co-workers.
I need a friend. I mean, I have my boyfriend, and he's great but... It's not the same as having a close GIRL friend. Someone I could excerise with, go walking with, step away from this computer with! It seems like that's all I do is sit at this computer!
I hope I don't sound like a pitiful loser! Even though I am...
I just don't have any motivation. I didn't have any before and I was hoping this surgery would help with that but... I thought wrong.
I mean, I think about it alot. I should excerise, I should eat less carbs. I should take my vitamins. I should make an appointment at the Weight Center.
I don't think that I want to go back there. They forgot about me too many times, I think that was another part of my downfall. I wonder if I could start going to another doctor. I wonder if it would make a difference. No offense to anyone, Dr. Hutter is a competent surgeon. Dr. Rosenblum left the Weight Center to pursue a job treating obese adolesents (sp?) and well, I surely won't miss Jessica...
I have to think about that...