Well, this has only taken me four months to write....I feel like it is such an important chapter to do though, so here we go: 

When I think back to all my family history, both good and bad, almost every story includes a recollection of food as well.  I think I was already obsessing and sneaking snacks in when I was only about 7.  I look at my First Grade photos and I look about the right size but then, by Second Grade, I could already see the seeds of future issues being sown.  So I was chubby...pleasantly plump....had baby fat....you know the terms people who know and appear to care about you would use.  When I discovered an interest in boys I made a concerted effort to lose weight but I was never totally slim until the year that I was engaged to be married.  As most brides do, I concerned myself with losing weight to make myself the most beautiful bride that I could be.  Those old stress habits slowly took hold over the years after that, though.  I exercised and dieted my way through my twenties...hit skinny again at 29....just in time to get pregnant.  WHOA....did I ever eat for two!  I was sick as a dog for the entire nine months but I would just have TWO breakfasts or whatever it took to satisfy an urge that in reality had everything and nothing to do with food.  The marriage was nowhere near rock solid and my lack of self-esteem coupled with my husband's critical nature meant that I was constantly seeking affirmation wherever I could get it and I got mine in food.  I gained 60 pounds while pregnant and I struggled with pregnancy weight for the next 19 years!!  I can remember being mortified that people would think I was still pregnant months after I had given birth.  I never got skinny again.  Once, when my son was four, in the months before a high school reunion, I got down to 140 pounds but was unable to maintain the loss afterward.  Along the way, I got divorced.  There continued to be no diets left untried by me!  As I always say, who knows better than a fat person, what needs to be done to lose weight?  We read EVERY newspaper and magazine article on the subject...."Lose 12 pounds by Labor Day"...you know the ones screaming at you to buy them from the check out line.  And so we did, and what we really learned was that, despite knowing what the physiological, psychological, physical, spiritual, (weight loss with yoga, anyone?), and nutritional aspects of weight loss were....from every expert in the country, it just NEVER worked for us.  Oh well, we might lose some or even a lot of weight with whatever the diet of the day was, but come back it would, with a vengeance and then some, leaving us more depressed and deflated with every failed attempt.  Then, one miraculous day in the spring of 2006, there was an article in the Miami Herald about a new weight loss surgery being practiced by some doctors at a hospital in Miami.  Of course, I read it and clipped it and promptly stored it in a box in my office not to be seen again for a long time.  Along the way, I had begun dating an old friend of the family, a wonderful fellow who really loved me for what and who I was on the inside and never seemed judgmental, but rather always supported me.  I think this gave me the wings that I needed to take the next step to change my life dramatically for the better.  I was planning to move to Jacksonville to be with my new husband.  My house was taking much longer than I assumed it would have to sell and, since I was in a holding pattern anyway, I decided to go to an informational meeting in Miami and find out more about this miracle surgery---the VSG.  I liked everything I heard!  It was mentioned that the VSG was being done at only two hospitals in South Florida with the "Center of Excellence" designation.   I knew that Cleveland Clinic also had a location in Jacksonville and thought that that connection might work out for follow up care and support groups etc. so I headed out to the suburbs in Weston for another four hour info. session.  (I was becoming a WL expert along the way...:)  Something just told me that the sleeve was the way to go for me and my surgeon concurred.  I wanted to get going ASAP and was told by Dr. R's insurance gals that BCBS Florida would not pay regardless of what story we told them so I decided to self-pay, a good investment in my future health AND tax deductible if your unreimbursed medical expenses for the year tally up to more than 10 % of one's earnings, which, since I didn't take a teacher's contract for the last school year ('cuz I thought I was moving) was definitely the case.  Six weeks after my initial consult, I had my surgery scheduled...the Monday after Thanksgiving 2006.  No turkey for me last year....I actually SKIPPED the dinner with family and spent the day doing Sudoku, walking with a friend, and dreaming about what Thanksgiving 2007 would look like....and fantasizing that I might be THIN by then....woo hoo!  I went into surgery amazingly calm....BMI of 39, weight 239 on a 5'5" frame.  My measurements the day before surgery were amazing, even to me:  46-41 1/2-51.  I stashed that info in a drawer and headed out to greet my new life.  I was home by that Friday (the surgeon's office had warned me that they sometimes keep self-pays longer so in case there are post-op complications, they are covered if they occur while in the initial hospital stay but would not be if you are sent home first.  I wandered the halls constantly within a half day of surgery as I wanted to start living in my new healthy world ASAP!  I didn't really have any major setbacks during recovery.  I have lost weight steadily since then but there have been several stalls too.  I am now four and a half months out and took my measurements just now to update here:  41-32-42, BMI 28.6 (it was a celebration to watch that number drop below "obese" to merely "overweight"..:) and weight 172.   That is 23 1/2 inches and 67 pounds....there's a WOW moment!  I got some good information from a colleague at a support meeting.  He advised that "every meal and every day is different".  If one day a certain food doesn't go down well, try it again in a week.  That has worked well for me.  I, like others, have been enjoying getting to know my new taste buds.  A great tomato bite....heaven!  Chocolate....nowhere near the special status it held before.  Our sense of smell is amazingly more acute!  If we like what we smell we may have a taste but if not, look out!  I have not had much nausea at all.  Early on post-op, I did until I learned that unflushed ketones will cause nausea.....lesson learned, so sip, sip, sip!  Speaking of sipping, I enjoy an occasional glass of pinot grigio now and again, (a half hour before dinner), have coffee (the real stuff) on Saturdays and Sundays only, and am still supplementing with protein shakes to make sure that I am getting in adequate amounts.  I almost always remember to eat protein first and many days don't get more than a bite of vegetable in afterward.  I try to shun carbs, not always successfully, but overall am making good food choices and so am happy with my progress.   I have relocated to Jacksonville now but still feel comfortable checking in with the nutritionists at the surgeon's office by email.  I was faithful to log my daily food on Fitday.com for the first three months post-op.  What a valuable resource for diet and exercise tracking!  My latest success story is my decision (at mid-century) to go red.  I get a kick out of my reflection these days....who is THAT in the mirror??  I am so very happy with my decision to have the sleeve.  I hope someday that I can be a patient advocate when doctors here in Jax start doing this procedure.  I would like to give back some small something to the WL community like the one here at OH who have been oh so wonderful to me!  All the best to you on your WL journey......Gail