I'M AMAZED

Jun 27, 2011

I'M ON A SHORT LAYOFF FROM WORK SO I'VE HAD SOME TIME TO REFLECT . I'VE HAD A CHANCE TO MEET A LOT OF OLD FRIENDS THAT I HAVE NOT SEEN IN A WHILE . IT ABSOLUTELEY AMAZES ME AS MOST OF THEM DON'T RECOGNIZE ME UNTIL WE START TO TALK . I KNOW I'VE CHANGED A LOT BUT I STILL SEEM TO HAVE THAT FAT PERSON INSIDE OF ME THAT STOPS ME FROM SEEING THAT NEW PERSON I'VE BECOME . SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER I'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO CHANGE MYSELF FROM FAT TO MUSCLE . OVER TIME I BECAME QUITE STRONG  AND MUSCULAR AND I WOULD LOOK VERY TRIM FOR A PERIOD OF TIME . BUT AFTER A WHILE I'D GIVE IN TO THAT FAT PERSON INSIDE ME AND IT BECAME EASIER TO JUST PUT THE WEIGHT BACK ON . I FOUND MYSELF BEATING MYSELF UP OVER THIS .THE LAST STRAW WAS A PARTY ONE NIGHT AND SOMEONE GAVE ME PICTURES OF THE LAST TIME I WAS IN SHAPE .I THINK IT WAS THEN THAT I DECIDED TO STOP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF AND TRY AND FIND A WAY TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND . HERE I AM NOW TWO AND A HALF YEARS AFTER RNY SURGERY AND I STILL PINCH MYSELF BECAUSE SOMETIMES IE FEELS LIKE IT'S JUST A DREAM . THIS WHOLE PROCESS SEEMS TO KEEP EVOLVING AND I SEEM TO KEEP LEARNING MORE ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME . I'VE LOST OVER TWO HUNDRED POUNDS AND THAT HAS MADE ME SO HAPPY I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT . I THOUGHT ONCE THAT HAPPENED THATS ALL I WOULD NEED TO COMPLETE ME . I'M FINDING RIGHT NOW THAT THIS CHANGE HAS AT TIMES CONFUSED ME . I'M MORE DISTANT NOW BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE MORE INTERESTED IN ME THAN THEY WERE BEFORE . I GUESS IT'S OKAY TO ASSOCIATE WITH ME NOW THAT I'M THIN . I EVEN NOTICE HOW MY FELLOW BIG FRIENDS ARE TREATED AND IT UPSETS ME . I GUESS I'VE GOTTEN PRETTY SENSITIVE IN MY OLD AGE AND I FEEL SOME PEOPLE'S ATTITUDE REALLY SUCK I HOPE I DON'T SOUND LIKE A WHINER BUT I THINK I'M JUST REALIZING NOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS THAT THE MENTAL PART OF WEIGHT LOSS IS AS IMPORTANT AS THE WEIGHT LOSS ITSELF . THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT BECAUSE I REALLY NEED TO CLEAR MY HEAD SO I CAN ENJOY THI MIRACLE I'VE BEEN GIVEN .........ROGER     

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