ObesityHelp

I'm going to bust it!  The weight has been SOOOO slow moving this summer- like it just stopped (not litteraly since I have recorded a loss, however small, every month at the Dr- but WAY TOO SMALL).

So I'm trying to shock my metabolism into action.  800 calories/day, added exercize... 5 days.  I can do this.  I'm just a few weeks out from my bandiversary and I want to see that scale moving again!

800 calories/day even with restriction is really hard though, at least it is for me.  I guess if I just ate 4 oz of grilled chicken 6 times a day I wouldn't feel so hungry- but I might hurt someone, so I'm trying to keep it varied. 

I'm so tired of being over 250 pounds (hey it is better than the 330 I was this time last year, but still). 

Trying to stay positive....

I am SOOOO tired of seeing numbers in the 260's on that darn scale.  My body is changing, my clothes are getting smaller (bought all new size 20 shorts/capris/crops for summer... can't remember the last time I wore 20's.. started this journey in VERY tight 28's).  Hopefully this weekend I'll see something new.  My scale does weird things to me anyways... last weekend I stepped on it Sunday morning no less than 6 times in 30 minutes (no intake, no output) and it read 6 different weights.  That will really mess with your head.

I stopped updating my ticker daily and go week to week, so even though the scale yesterday said 262.something I didn't change it, darn scale, who knows what it will decide this weekend.

It's werid too to see so many people starting this journey weighing less than I do now, after 7 months and nearly 70 pounds... I feel so good about myself despite still being morbidly obese... I guess I need to feel this way though or I'd get frustrated and what not.

So far in this journey I have learned:
Stay positive, regardless of what the scale says
LIVE life, do new things, try new things
Food is my friend, it's not the enemy, I can still enjoy it (just not Extreme amounts of it)
Don't compare your loss to anyone else's... we're all different, we all manage this process differently, do what's right for you

I don't know what it is I am just so BLAH.  Weight loss has slowed, it's picking up some, and I'm trying to get more active, but it's not the excitedment of the first 5 months.  I'm not even that worried about that.

My husband and I are both in grad school, and it's a bit consuming, especially for him.  I'm just NOT into it this semester.  I have 3 things left to do... one is moving along, the other 2 I haven't started and it's all due in less than 2 weeks.

It's Saturday evening and I am at the library.  I've been here over 2 hours and have not accomplished anything.  That in itself is depressing.

We have been trying to sell our house and buy a new one before the tax credit expired, I thought I had found "the" house, but my husband sees things wrong with it, yeah it needs work, and it may be really expensive work, but the idea of moving has kept me excited.  Now that the tax credit is about to expire and we haven't sold our house I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to.  

I know this seems really whiney, but it's my blog and if I want to endulge myself in whining I guess it's my perogative.  I'm normally a pretty happy person, but I guess sitting in a library on a Saturday afternoon/evening will do that to a girl.

My birthday is this week too, but because of school we can't even plan anything to do, I usually love my birthday but this year it just means I'm older, that we're almost to the end of the tax credit and no one bought my house (somehow makes me feel like I lost $6500) and I get to go to class on my birthday night and I have an assignment due that I haven't started and instead of working on it, I'm writing miserable crap on my blog.

uggghhhh

5 Months since surgery.

5th fill today

Down 55 pounds

I'm thinking I need to play the 5's in lotto tomorrow.  

When I was leaving the doctor's office today they said someone in the waiting room wanted to meet me.  Fellow OH Bandster Amy heard the receptionist say "Gayla" was heading out and waited to meet me.  It was very cool to meet Amy, at her first fill.  

I feel really good about this fill.  Last one was getting close, just wasn't consistent.  She put in another .5cc.  I'm also excited that the weather is warming up some around here because it does inspire me to get out and walk or something.  I really wish I liked to exersize.  I need to get into it somehow, but with work, school and selling this house there's no time.  I'm taking off from school this summer and we'll either be off the market with the house or moved, so hopefully I can build a routine.  I want to get a recumbant bike, but have no where to put it in this house, at least not with the house on the market.  I also love the neighborhood where we want to move and it's shady walking trails.  SOMEONE PLEASE BUY MY HOUSE!!!!

Time to think positive thoughts.  I'm down 55 pounds in 5 months.  I feel better about myself.  I'm fitting into clothes that haven't fit in YEARS... new sizes.  I love my band.