ok..so i had another fill on 2-27-10, and i had gained 8 lbs in the 3 weeks it had been since my last fill. i was on the verge of giving up! i left the office in tears :(  i hadn't splurged on the diet, and i even started exercising regularly!  i had no idea what was going on and neither did my surgeon. we went over what i ate each day, and how much exercise i got each day. bm's were normal...nothing was out of the ordinary.  the ONLY thing he could contribute the weight gain to was my cortisol levels going up because of stress.  i was damn sure under a lot of stress. i had just come back to florida after being in vermont for 7 months and my new job was taking longer than expected for me to start. it's like everything was falling apart. :(   BUT..things got better the day after my last fill!  
     i met a guy...he's my prince :) he thinks i'm beautiful just like i am. i was a little reluctant to tell him about the whole lap band thing, but i broke down and explained it to him a week ago. he was totally fine with it!  he had a lot of questions but he said he just wants to understand it all completely and help me any way he can.  he has been my support here.  i get support from you guys, but it's a lot different to have someone right there in front of you telling you how much you've overcome and that your doing great. he doesn't try to get me to eat foods that i know are bad, and he won't eat them in front of me out of consideration.  this is a meat and potatoes kind of guy, but he knows i loooove french fries and can't eat em...so he won't order anything like that when we go to dinner.  it feels sooo good to have someone be so proud of me and to be my support system.  my sis and my bro in law (we all got our bands the same week) were supposed to be my support system and i was supposed to be theirs, but this is nonexistent. they don't care about their bands anymore.  my sister is 7 months prego, so she's forgiven lol, but my bro in law never did diet. :( where's the family support? c'mon guys!  it's like i can't tell them how happy i am if i lose 3 lbs, they just don't care. grrr...it's so frustrating.
  so anyway...on to why i'm soooooo flippin proud of myself!!  today is exactly one year since i realized i was fat and decided to change my life.  i had surgery in may..but march 7th was my 'day of realization'...the day i decided what i needed to do and started the high protein, low carb diet. i've been reflecting on my accomplishments and i vow that i will not let myself get discouraged again. i have come so far and i KNOW i can make it to my goal!

-i lost 83 lbs total!!!!  i now weigh 245
-i went from a 3x scrub top/2x scrub bottom to a 1x scrub top/L scrub bottom
-i can now walk/run 2 miles in less than 30 minutes..and no one's chasing me! i started timing it 3 weeks ago and did it in 42 minutes.
-size 26 pants to a size 14/16
-size 4x shirt to a size 2x
-i can see my collarbones without awkwardly flexing to make em stick out lol
-i can sit with my family while they eat french fries and hamburgers...and not touch it. i opt for a salad or just the meat
-i don't have to take blood pressure meds anymore!!
-i feel SEXXXY ;)
-i <3 myself

these are just a few off the top of my head, but i am sooo proud of myself. i can do this....i can.  :D